ExposedBrick Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I went out with a very pleasant lady for a couple drinks on Tuesday as a first date. Obviously, I still know very little about her but I thought things went smoothly. I also happen to have to the good fortune of 3 other women wanting first dates with me and and one second date with another. So far, I have a first date scheduled today, a second date Friday, and potentially another first date Sunday. I have a friend's party on Saturday. However, I want to see the original girl again, but I'm just not sure when I could fit it in unless I push it to next week or cancel on one of the others. I don't want to seem like I'm blowing her off if I push it next week or does that seem reasonable? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I went out with a very pleasant lady for a couple drinks on Tuesday as a first date. Obviously, I still know very little about her but I thought things went smoothly. I also happen to have to the good fortune of 3 other women wanting first dates with me and and one second date with another. So far, I have a first date scheduled today, a second date Friday, and potentially another first date Sunday. I have a friend's party on Saturday. However, I want to see the original girl again, but I'm just not sure when I could fit it in unless I push it to next week or cancel on one of the others. I don't want to seem like I'm blowing her off if I push it next week or does that seem reasonable? You shouldn't wait too long, that's for sure. If you like her enough, I replace having a second date with her over a first date with someone else. It's not a good idea to have too many in the "rotation". It gets confusing and tangled and doesn't give an opportunity to develop a solid connection with anyone. If a guy I really liked didn't set up another date within a week, tops, and be consistent with communication in between, I'd think I was just another one in his rotation. That wouldn't sit well with me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 (edited) You shouldn't wait too long, that's for sure. If you like her enough, I replace having a second date with her over a first date with someone else. It's not a good idea to have too many in the "rotation". It gets confusing and tangled and doesn't give an opportunity to develop a solid connection with anyone. If a guy I really liked didn't set up another date within a week, tops, and be consistent with communication in between, I'd think I was just another one in his rotation. That wouldn't sit well with me. Honestly, the date was solid but I'm not 100% sold on her yet as it was only one date. I'd rate the date a 7.5 out of 10. The girl I'm supposed to have a second date with has kind of been jerking me around and I thought about canceling on her even though she seemed great on the first date. I actually suspect she has a deep roation, so I can see what you mean. Edited March 23, 2017 by ExposedBrick 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Honestly, the date was solid but I'm not 100% sold on her yet as it was only one date. I'd rate the date a 7.5 out of 10. The girl I'm supposed to have a second date with has kind of been jerking me around and I thought about canceling on her even though she seemed great on the first date. I actually suspect she has a deep roation, so I can see what you mean. the date was solid but I'm not 100% sold -- That is the purpose of a second date and it's better to get the rest of the 100% resolved one way or the other, fairly quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I don't see anything wrong with scheduling a second date a week or so later. (Since your date was Tuesday, I would expect many people would already have weekend plans set up by then anyway.) But do ask her out soon, like today, to get it on the calendar. Ask for Tuesday or Wednesday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Hah women aren't stupid....if you blow it past a week they will figure out you are muti dating. When I muti dated, I had no fear in canceling other dates for someone I really liked...in fact I cleared my calendar. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Like a week max but then you have to step it up like 2 dates a week...It's gonna get real, boy!!! Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Maybe it would be better to think of this in reverse: supposing she had three other dates lined up after she met you - how should she manage this so you aren't put off by the delay? What would you advise her to do? How does thinking about this feel to you? Would you rather she was focusing on you at this point? That might give you an idea of how you are feeling about her. Another way of looking at it is, what if she decided she had a nice date but didn't want to meet you again? Would you be bothered or relieved that you didn't have to take her out again? What I'm getting at is that because you have all this choice, your feelings about her are not really getting chance to surface. You are seeing it as a strategic problem rather than knowing how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I think in a new relationship, it can be expected you (possibly she) already have plans set up for the weekend, so I think it would be okay to skip this weekend, but prioritize her the next, and maybe slip in a weekday date as well, if you are so inclined. Don't drop communication in between. The other woman has been "jerking (you) around," and like you suspect, she's probably juggling men, just like you're juggling women, but is she going to bail on you at the last minute? Is there any indication of that, because really, if you think she might flake, you may as well just pursue 7.5. I'd try to make sure this other date is solidified, and if this woman is wishy-washy, suggest another day for her, and prioritize 7.5. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts