Jump to content

She has limited time for me


hawx79

Recommended Posts

A woman I've known for 11 months now and dated once, now says she can only meet with me in weekends because she is too busy during the week and also refuses any gifts from me.

I told her when a woman likes a man she will make time even when busy and she called me an egoist!

So am I really an egoist to think she is not interested in me because she don't wanna see me during the week or is she giving me signs she not really interested in me but it using me instead or something?

Link to post
Share on other sites

The more important question is why are you wasting your time?

 

Exactly the reason why it is said here millions of times a week. Don't put all of your eggs (mental energy) in one basket or ONE woman until it is clear both are in a good place to build a cohesive and mutually satisfying relationship.

 

She clearly is not that into you, but you persist. That is a MUCH bigger issue.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

She is saying she needs time and has a lot problems. She lives with her older mother alone and she is unable to work, so she needs to make earn for both. She said she likes me and sometimes we speak about future plans.

Why I persist? Because I love her and I cant throw her out of my life like that.

Why are you certain she is " clearly not into me?"

Link to post
Share on other sites

To me weekends are for couples going on outings together. This might be a good thing.

 

However, 11 months of knowing a person and only one date since then might be a sign of stalled interested from one side or both.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
To me weekends are for couples going on outings together. This might be a good thing.

 

However, 11 months of knowing a person and only one date since then might be a sign of stalled interested from one side or both.

 

She lives far away from me now, but we still communicate.

Link to post
Share on other sites
She is saying she needs time and has a lot problems.

 

A woman I've known for 11 months now and dated once,

 

So you are in love with a woman who says she has lots of problems and YOU apparently don’t know what those problems are?

 

You are in love with a woman in which you have no clear clue about her current situation and circumstances.

 

If you are IN LOVE with this woman you would not be here complaining about your lack of time with her, you would be more understanding of her situation and circumstances.

 

She lives with her older mother alone and she is unable to work,

 

This makes no sense, does mom live with her or does she live with mom?

So she needs to make earn for both?

 

So is her mom has no resources other that what your SO provides?

 

She said she likes me and sometimes we speak about future plans.

 

Her life is currently difficult, what future plans?

 

You did not say she said she loves YOU?

 

Ok what are we missing and what are you leaving out?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
A woman I've known for 11 months now and dated once,

 

So you are in love with a woman who says she has lots of problems and YOU apparently don’t know what those problems are?

 

You are in love with a woman in which you have no clear clue about her current situation and circumstances.

 

If you are IN LOVE with this woman you would not be here complaining about your lack of time with her, you would be more understanding of her situation and circumstances.

 

 

 

This makes no sense, does mom live with her or does she live with mom?

So she needs to make earn for both?

 

So is her mom has no resources other that what your SO provides?

 

 

 

Her life is currently difficult, what future plans?

 

You did not say she said she loves YOU?

 

Ok what are we missing and what are you leaving out?

 

Her mom lives with her. We still communicate and planned to meet again in a few months for more then a week, but now she says it is not certain anymore and she can only for a weekend...

I know a lot about her situation, she is afraid to lose her job soon

We have plans of being together. No she didn't said she loves me, not yet.

I think I am not leaving out anything, but to me it seems sometimes she is using me and when I confront her about it, says accuses me of the same!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Her mom lives with her. We still communicate and planned to meet again in a few months for more then a week, but now she says it is not certain anymore and she can only for a weekend...

I know a lot about her situation, she is afraid to lose her job soon

We have plans of being together. No she didn't said she loves me, not yet.

I think I am not leaving out anything, but to me it seems sometimes she is using me and when I confront her about it, says accuses me of the same!

 

You have a woman that takes care of her mom. You don't say if the mom is elderly? Because then this woman would be considered a Caregiver. I was to my late mother. If you really love this woman then you should respect the time she can give to you. Can you do that? If you can then good, your loyal and understanding of her needs and wants. She has to spend the time with her mother and take care of her needs. You come third. Wait for the weekend to be with her. She can do what she can for you on the weekends. Talk and text to her do what you have to even skype and leave it as that. If you want more an can't wait then you need to move on and find another woman who can give you 100% even doing the week as well as the weekend.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Her mom lives with her. We still communicate and planned to meet again in a few months for more then a week, but now she says it is not certain anymore and she can only for a weekend...

 

I know a lot about her situation, she is afraid to lose her job soon

We have plans of being together. No she didn't said she loves me, not yet.

I think I am not leaving out anything, but to me it seems sometimes she is using me and when I confront her about it, says accuses me of the same!

 

Hawx, dude you know sometimes I get on this site and read various folks situation and circumstances and I’m perplexed at what I read. There are 25 threads per page and hundreds and hundreds of past threads, millions of responses and I will never get why people (men and women) will almost willingly put themselves in the most screwed up and pointless circumstances as if they truly seek out misery.

 

Some of us are so desperate for companionship that we will openly welcome the most screwed up situation and circumstances.

 

So you are saying you are looking to have a future with a woman who current situation is not ideal and work future is at the very least worrisome.

 

Then you add….

 

but to me it seems sometimes she is using me and when I confront her about it, says accuses me of the same!

 

I know few do this, but it should be a requirement that you take some time and browse some of the insanity here before you start a thread and first see if you recognize your current situation.

 

This is troublesome

 

No she didn't said she loves me, not yet.

 

People post threads to inquire or solicit opinions about “the other person” in the scenario. When in reality and in most cases here, the OP has the bigger issue than the person they are posting about.

 

No she didn't said she loves me, not yet.

 

it seems sometimes she is using me and when I confront her about it, says accuses me of the same!

 

Let that sink in. So you are looking for more of this?

Link to post
Share on other sites

You've dated her once - so she's not using you as a meal ticket. She refuses your gifts - so she's not using you as a sugar daddy. She can't see you often in the future - so she's not taking up all your time.

 

How on earth is she using you?

 

Edited to add: is this the same woman? It would appear she sees you as a friend only http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/614210-i-need-ad-vice

Link to post
Share on other sites
People post threads to inquire or solicit opinions about “the other person” in the scenario. When in reality and in most cases here, the OP has the bigger issue than the person they are posting about.

 

Basil I had not even seen that post... Bingo!

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sitting here at my desk in Surrey BC Canada and even from here I can tell she's not really interested in you. I think you have a problem with actually listening to what she is telling you....or you are refusing to. Whichever one it is that doesn't change what is going on. It is what it is......just let her go.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I'm sitting here at my desk in Surrey BC Canada and even from here I can tell she's not really interested in you. I think you have a problem with actually listening to what she is telling you....or you are refusing to. Whichever one it is that doesn't change what is going on. It is what it is......just let her go.

 

She doesn't let me go... I told her if she lost interest in me or that she wants to find someone else. She replies with no. And most of the times she initiates the communication with me, not me. And I am totally confused now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
She doesn't let me go... I told her if she lost interest in me or that she wants to find someone else. She replies with no. And most of the times she initiates the communication with me, not me. And I am totally confused now.

 

She replies with no -- She says no because she's content with the way things are . . . you're the one who isn't happy. So, move on. Block and delete her. You're stringing yourself along. Get out the scissors . . .

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, now I get it...

 

I am 37 year old man with no children and I managed to get a 3th date

 

A woman I've known for 11 months now and dated once

 

now says she can only meet with me in weekends because she is too busy during the week

 

refuses any gifts from me.

 

I told her when a woman likes a man she will make time even when busy and she called me an egoist!

 

So am I really an egoist to think she is not interested in me because she don't wanna see me during the week

 

or is she giving me signs she not really interested in me but it using me instead or something?

 

She is saying she needs time and has a lot problems.

 

Why I persist? Because I love her

 

I cant throw her out of my life like that.

 

She lives far away from me now, but we still communicate.

 

Her mom lives with her.

 

We still communicate and planned to meet again in a few months

 

We have plans of being together.

 

No she didn't said she loves me, not yet.

 

it seems sometimes she is using me

 

when I confront her about it, says accuses me of the same!

 

It would appear she sees you as a friend only I need ad vice

 

She doesn't let me go...

 

I told her if she lost interest in me or that she wants to find someone else. She replies with no.

 

Czech and Slovakian dating agency

 

Would a six pack help me in anyway to impress a woman

 

unable to think clearly; bewildered.

 

to make unclear or indistinct

 

chaotic, jumbled or muddled

 

making no sense; illogical

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
She doesn't let me go... I told her if she lost interest in me or that she wants to find someone else. She replies with no. And most of the times she initiates the communication with me, not me. And I am totally confused now.

She's not interested in you in the way you are interested in her. She's interested in "friendship" or "attention", nothing more.......this is what we call being on the hook or strung along.

Link to post
Share on other sites
She is saying she needs time and has a lot problems. She lives with her older mother alone and she is unable to work, so she needs to make earn for both. She said she likes me and sometimes we speak about future plans.

Why I persist? Because I love her and I cant throw her out of my life like that.

Why are you certain she is " clearly not into me?"

 

Because, if she were "into you", you'd know it and you wouldn't be starting this thread. You're 37 years old -- stop acting like a love-sick kid and expecting so little for yourself. Set some higher goals and expectations for yourself when evaluating someone for a long-term relationship. If your needs aren't being met, you bail. That's what grown ups do. They get real with themselves and face the hard truths by being objective and dealing with them with confidence and conviction.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
She's not interested in you in the way you are interested in her. She's interested in "friendship" or "attention", nothing more.......this is what we call being on the hook or strung along.

 

When I tell her she that she calls me an egoist and tells me I am not considerate of her being too busy and that I want to move way to fast.

Link to post
Share on other sites
When I tell her she that she calls me an egoist and tells me I am not considerate of her being too busy and that I want to move way to fast.

 

I want to move way to fast -- 11 months?

 

she calls me an egoist and tells me I am not considerate of her being too busy -- Classic manipulation and dodging.

 

MOVE ON.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I want to move way to fast -- 11 months?

 

she calls me an egoist and tells me I am not considerate of her being too busy -- Classic manipulation and dodging.

 

MOVE ON.

 

That's not all. A few months ago I made a new profile on a date site as I suspected she was just dragging me on. She found out about it and got upset that I am not serious with her and I am the one using her. She uses negative reverse psychology on me I think.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just a little clarification. You said she is refusing your gifts. And you said she may just be using you. So how is she using you if she's not taking any money or gifts from you? I mean, she may be. Not saying she isn't. But how?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Just a little clarification. You said she is refusing your gifts. And you said she may just be using you. So how is she using you if she's not taking any money or gifts from you? I mean, she may be. Not saying she isn't. But how?

 

With time. As keeping me as a wild card, for if she ever decides to turn for me when her current life doesn't go the way she wants. While doing this I risk missing out if she doesn't.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
With time. As keeping me as a wild card, for if she ever decides to turn for me when her current life doesn't go the way she wants. While doing this I risk missing out if she doesn't.

 

And despite this, you love her? Why? Serious question.

Link to post
Share on other sites
When I tell her she that she calls me an egoist and tells me I am not considerate of her being too busy and that I want to move way to fast.

That's when you say, "I've had enough of your games, and I have waited around long enough. Iam going to invest my time in someone else who actually does want a relationship....All the best to you, have a nice life...."

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
That's when you say, "I've had enough of your games, and I have waited around long enough. Iam going to invest my time in someone else who actually does want a relationship....All the best to you, have a nice life...."

 

And then BLOCK so that you don't have to deal with her response.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...