Stood up - says she forgot

[SevenCity]

So I had an OLD date planned with a girl in the city (to which I have to travel an hour). We communicates online a month ago and exchanged numbers. She reached out to me out of the blue recently (fishy) so I setup a date. As per advice here I comfirmed earlier in the week saying looking forward to meeting you. She responded.

 

I show up at the place and text her to let her know I'm there. Waited about 20 min then left. Several hours later she responds apologizing saying I didn't confirm that day (now it's my fault?), she wasn't sure if we were still on due to weather, and she forgot to put the date in her calendar (not too excited if she can't remember). Asking me if we could speak on the phone.

 

Between these, I responded saying if she wasn't going to show up it would have been nice to let me know. I didn't react other than that.

 

So my gut is telling me to just block her number. Or tell her I can't imagine going into the city to meet her and run the risk of being stood up again so we'll likely never meet anyway.

 

I tend to be pretty black and white / harsh with stuff like this so looking for opinions.

 

What would you do?

[newheart]

I'd block and move on ... since when is it solely your responsibility to confirm that day if you've already confirmed earlier in the week, and already had a set day/time/place? And then it took her several hours to respond to your text when you let her know you were there. I am not sure where you are located, but if you are here in the Northeast (since there was the weather referral, and you might be talking about NYC) - yes, we had a big hit this week weather wise and a bit of snow yesterday, but none of these earlier weather events would make me think you'd cancel today. If she felt that way, then she should have confirmed.

 

Eh, maybe I just don't have the tolerance anymore, but I'd be annoyed as hell traveling an hour into the city for that!

[preraph]

Block her. She's either very inconsiderate or disorganized to the point of needing help.

[lurker74]

Who cares about blocking her? Just move on. Blocking her is too much emotion and she ain't worth it.

[CaliforniaGirl]

What's with the whole blocking thing lately? Why do people jump to block just because they don't want to date the person? I find this whole blocking movement bizarre. The person isn't stalking you.

 

With that said, I just wouldn't bother answering if she contacted again, and I'd be looking for new people to date.

[SevenCity]

Yea seems like just ignore her is the way to go.

[CaliforniaGirl]

So I had an OLD date planned with a girl in the city (to which I have to travel an hour). We communicates online a month ago and exchanged numbers. She reached out to me out of the blue recently (fishy) so I setup a date. As per advice here I comfirmed earlier in the week saying looking forward to meeting you. She responded.

 

I show up at the place and text her to let her know I'm there. Waited about 20 min then left. Several hours later she responds apologizing saying I didn't confirm that day (now it's my fault?), she wasn't sure if we were still on due to weather, and she forgot to put the date in her calendar (not too excited if she can't remember). Asking me if we could speak on the phone.

 

Between these, I responded saying if she wasn't going to show up it would have been nice to let me know. I didn't react other than that.

 

So my gut is telling me to just block her number. Or tell her I can't imagine going into the city to meet her and run the risk of being stood up again so we'll likely never meet anyway.

 

I tend to be pretty black and white / harsh with stuff like this so looking for opinions.

 

What would you do?

 

If I may - and this does NOT a excuse someone standing a date up, that's awful - you never did confirm closer to date night. You are playing things too loose, casual and uncaring, thinking that's how to not seem needy and how to get a woman "interested." You'll pardon my saying so, but...you don't know women at all and all this Roosh style stuff you seem to be following isn't working for you. Surely you can we that. It is literally getting you ignored.

 

A woman wants to know you're interested. If you're meh and never confirm, no, that does not make her more interested. It makes her forget you exist! Stop the games, they are baloney, be real when you like a woman and see if that works better. What do you have to lose? Because this style of doing things just isn't working and your female psychology is just all wrong.

[Popsicle]

My memory could be failing me, but I think you've mentioned on here before that you don't communicate much before or in between dates (i.e. texts or calls). That's a mistake.

[SevenCity]

My memory could be failing me, but I think you've mentioned on here before that you don't communicate much before or in between dates (i.e. texts or calls). That's a mistake.

 

I texted her on thurs, we were to meet on Saturday.

 

I started doing the confirm after advice here. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect someone to remember a date for 2 days.

[TunaInTheBrine]

I would do EXACTLY what you did - not overreact, trust your gut about why she didn't show up (and also what it means about her maturity level), and stop pursuing her. I would only give her another chance if she reaches out to you first, offers a sincere apology, and demonstrates genuine effort and follow-through toward a rescheduled date. And in the meantime, don't expect that she will do that, let her go, and refocus your efforts toward other women.

[Popsicle]

I texted her on thurs, we were to meet on Saturday.

 

I started doing the confirm after advice here. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect someone to remember a date for 2 days.

 

When you asked her for a date A MONTH AGO (and probably only spoke very briefly then), you didn't communicate with her at all during that months time? Really? How interested were YOU to do that? I would forget about the date too and not take someone who did that seriously at all. I will concur with you, though, that she should not have gone along with your text on thurs and inquired more, but perhaps she thought you were talking about sometime in the future, since you didn't remind her of the date and time. Do you know how many guys send a random text out of the blue, "Hi, How's your day? Let's try to get together and meet soon"? This is what happens to women when they online date and give their number to several different men over the course of time. You'll get texts 3 months later after initially talking to some dude (who you don't remember) saying hi and you don't even know who he is! You have to keep in contact and keep yourself in her thoughts and vice versa. If this is too much work then date less women or keep a spreadsheet.

[SevenCity]

When you asked her for a date A MONTH AGO (and probably only spoke very briefly then), you didn't communicate with her at all during that months time? Really? How interested were YOU to do that? I would forget about the date too and not take someone who did that seriously at all. I will concur with you, though, that she should not have gone along with your text on thurs and inquired more, but perhaps she thought you were talking about sometime in the future, since you didn't remind her of the date and time. Do you know how many guys send a random text out of the blue, "Hi, How's your day? Let's try to get together and meet soon"? This is what happens to women when they online date and give their number to several different men over the course of time. You'll get texts 3 months later after initially talking to some dude (who you don't remember) saying hi and you don't even know who he is! You have to keep in contact and keep yourself in her thoughts and vice versa. If this is too much work then date less women or keep a spreadsheet.

 

Before you start spewing hate, get the story straight.

 

We chatted online and we exchanged numbers and were going to speak on the phone with her last text saying she would reach out to me (presumably soon).

 

A full month went by and I heard nothing. I get a text out of the blue saying Hi Seven, how's it going? To which I rewponded "Who's this?" As I had no idea. I saw that she had also sent me a message on the dating app right before.

 

So remember now I say hi and we start texting back and forth. I ask her when she's available for a drink and she gives me her availability (the next weekend). I say great, how about x day, at x time, at x place? She says great - see you then.

 

Two days before I text "looking forward to meeting you in person. How is the city with the snow?" She says trains and subways are back on schedule but still some snow on the ground. I say "great - now I know how to dress".

 

So, SHE reached out after a month of silence, I setup the date for 6 days in advance, and called 2 days in advance to confirm.

 

As much as you may hate me or my multi dating, I'm not to fault for this one.

 

Ps: this is EXACTLY why I multidate.

[kendahke]

So I had an OLD date planned with a girl in the city (to which I have to travel an hour). We communicates online a month ago and exchanged numbers. She reached out to me out of the blue recently (fishy) so I setup a date. As per advice here I comfirmed earlier in the week saying looking forward to meeting you. She responded.

 

I show up at the place and text her to let her know I'm there. Waited about 20 min then left. Several hours later she responds apologizing saying I didn't confirm that day (now it's my fault?), she wasn't sure if we were still on due to weather, and she forgot to put the date in her calendar (not too excited if she can't remember). Asking me if we could speak on the phone.

 

Between these, I responded saying if she wasn't going to show up it would have been nice to let me know. I didn't react other than that.

 

So my gut is telling me to just block her number. Or tell her I can't imagine going into the city to meet her and run the risk of being stood up again so we'll likely never meet anyway.

 

I tend to be pretty black and white / harsh with stuff like this so looking for opinions.

 

What would you do?

 

I just had this happen to me 2 weeks ago. OLD first meeting planned. The guy and me were corresponding frequently and he was the one who broached the idea of the first meeting. I picked a nice, well reviewed coffee house nearer to where he lives than I do, (but I have a new Mini Cooper and I love driving it, so...). The day before, I texted him that I was looking forward to the meeting. Crickets. My spider senses began tingling and I knew by the end of the day that he was going to stand me up.

 

I show up at the agreed upon time and waiting 30 minutes. I texted him "I'm here" and I get this long winded text back from him that he was still at work, that he was working on some plane engine problem and thought he'd be done and said he knew he should have texted me to say what was up, but definitely wanted to try again.

 

I was nice about it. I said "I hope you can figure out the problem with the engine" and he said thanks and was very complimentary, blah blah blah. After I got back to my car, I went on the site and blocked him and I blocked his phone number.

 

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, ain't gonna happen.

 

I say block her. She knew she had a date planned with you and she chose to be a jerk. She could have texted to say "hey can't make it..." Not doing that is being a coward and who wants one of them in their lives?

[kendahke]

Who cares about blocking her? Just move on. Blocking her is too much emotion and she ain't worth it.

 

I disagree.

 

Blocking is probably the least emotional thing you can do. Not blocking and wondering every time the phone rings or buzzes if it's her is too much mental energy being poured down a bottomless pit.

 

Blocking puts you back in control of everything and it removes the clutter of their presence from your sphere.

[S2B]

No one forgets when it's important.

[Cookiesandough]

Block her and don't even look back

[TheTraveler]

So I had an OLD date planned with a girl in the city (to which I have to travel an hour). We communicates online a month ago and exchanged numbers. She reached out to me out of the blue recently (fishy) so I setup a date. As per advice here I comfirmed earlier in the week saying looking forward to meeting you. She responded.

 

I show up at the place and text her to let her know I'm there. Waited about 20 min then left. Several hours later she responds apologizing saying I didn't confirm that day (now it's my fault?), she wasn't sure if we were still on due to weather, and she forgot to put the date in her calendar (not too excited if she can't remember). Asking me if we could speak on the phone.

 

Between these, I responded saying if she wasn't going to show up it would have been nice to let me know. I didn't react other than that.

 

So my gut is telling me to just block her number. Or tell her I can't imagine going into the city to meet her and run the risk of being stood up again so we'll likely never meet anyway.

 

I tend to be pretty black and white / harsh with stuff like this so looking for opinions.

 

What would you do?

 

No, the advice here has been to confirm the day of the date.

 

Don't play stupid Sevencity.

 

No sympathy here

[Arieswoman]

I disagree Traveller,

 

As per advice here I comfirmed earlier in the week saying looking forward to meeting you. She responded.

 

If a person is so disorganised/flaky/dippy that they can't write down a date (in 2 days time) on a calender, or in a diary/personal organiser, ( or they haven't the manners to cancel in good time) then they either have serious mental problems or are just plain selfish and rude.

 

OP you did nothing wrong.

 

Do not waste one more minute of your time ruminating about the whys and wherefores of this.

 

Block her and move on.

 

Good luck x

[Cookiesandough]

No, the advice here has been to confirm the day of the date.

 

Don't play stupid Sevencity.

 

No sympathy here

 

Yeah op should have confirmed the day of, but if you have plans with someone and they don't confirm/you're genuinely not sure if it's still on, you don't just not show up....Its on until otherwise notified.

 

And if she didn't like that he didn't confirm that day she should have at least had the courtesy to cancel...(and perhaps be put off and not want to see him again?)

 

Not stand him up and say "oops my bad you didn't remind me so I totally forgot can we talk on the phone and try this again?"

 

OP should have confirmed but what she did was still inexcusably rude imo

[GemmaUK]

If I have asked someone out I confirm on the day of the date.

Two days before is date (or in this case first meet) set and planned, day of the date is to firm it all up for sure.

 

Maybe try doing that next time.

It's never failed me yet and guys do the same with me also when they ask me out.

If he doesn't contact me on the day then I figure the date/meet is not happening. I would think this even more if it was a night of the week that is a big going out type night like a Saturday.

[Cookiesandough]

I've actually been in a situation where the guy didn't confirm the day of...or even 2 days before. We talked, but he didn't speak of our planned date for almost a week. I really looked forward to the date (so I didn't "forget to write it in my calendar"), and stressed the hell out the whole afternoon because I didn't know if he was gonna flake on me or not. Finally, as I'm doing my hair, it hits me..'wtf the nerve of this guy. I'm getting dressed up and I don't even know if he's gonna show. Screw this, I could be going out with my friends'

 

So I texted him to cancel and he was like "wuh happened???"

 

I never wanted to put myself in that situation again so that was the end of that.

 

 

I can't imagine someone interested in you not only forgetting but not even responding til several hours later

 

Would you wanna date someone that's that scatterbrained, op?

[Sweetfish]

So I had an OLD date planned with a girl in the city (to which I have to travel an hour).

 

Never drive an hour out on a date... meet half way.

[salparadise]

I might give a person a mulligan depending on the circumstances and what my intuition was telling me. Also depending on her contrition and my enthusiasm. The problem with this one is she's tossing out multiple excuses and trying to turn it around and make it your fault by saying you didn't confirm the same day. Pffft. Forgot isn't good either.

[salparadise]

Never drive an hour out on a date... meet half way.

 

 

Yea, good policy. I've been burned that way before. You want to know that she's as invested as you are. There are some with warped egos and uncaring dispositions who would have laugh at your expense. If they'e not willing to meet half way... what does that tell you?

[Shining One]

I wouldn't block at this point, but I would put the onus on her to make the meeting happen. She should be the one to set things up and travel to you. If she doesn't do that, then you have your answer.