Megan1234 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 my boyfriend and I have been together 2 years, we are both still young and live at home, recently my boyfriend went out for 3 days straight and didn't go home was partying with his friends which is innocent enough yes, but there was also girls there who I went to college with and one of them I trust and the others I don't trust, when he got home I told him I was finished as I don't deserve to be treated like that, yes have night out with friends but taking it to that level? People might say I'm controlling but I know what I deserve, anyways.. he begged me to get back so I said I'm giving him one more chance as everyone deserves a second chance right? But if he does this again to me I am done. So yeah alls been great so far he's slowly but surely proving himself but I went on facebook and instagram to only find that 3 of the girls he was with blocked me from their social media? He reassured me nothing happened but to me that screams guilty all over it, these girls don't have a problem with me which is why I thought it abit weird, it's been playing on my head and I will never know if anything happened unless I look through his phone which I don't want to do as I've done it before and now he never lets me even hold his phone!! Which is strange I know but people are different with letting people on their phones I on the other hand would let him on mine as I have nothing to hide. What's your thoughts on this?? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 I don't think it screams guilty. I think they think you don't like them now, so (a bit immaturely...how old are all of you guys?) they blocked you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 There is enough here to mandate that Qs be asked & answered honestly but I'm not convinced he cheated. I have no more evidence that he was faithful then you have that he wasn't. With no other evidence other than he was gone for 3 days, your announcement that you were through seems rash under the circumstances. Him partying for 3 days may indicate a binge drinking problem unless it was a planned weekend. I mean did he wear the same clothes for 3 days? If he packed a toothbrush I'm less convinced that it's a problem. I never had a relationship where my BF wanted to party without me. So that doesn't make the most sense to me as I have no experience with it. Especially if this was a party with mixed attendance, why weren't you welcome? You knew other women there. That makes it odd. that you were excluded If you were invited but couldn't go, that is another point for innocent interaction. The fact that the 3 women who you knew at the party simultaneously dropped you from social media after the party seems the most suspicious. You weren't pestering them & accusing them of anything were you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Megan1234 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 It was unplanned he was in the same clothes for 3 days believe me or not didn't pack a toothbrush either.. I'm most suspicious about the girls deleting me off their social media, I haven't spoken to them girls in years and anytime I have spoken to them it's just been a hello or whatever but I never once contacted them about those 3 days.. it's just really hurting me at the fact that something could have happened down there and he is either very good at lying or he genuinely didn't do anything, I'm a girl and I will find out somehow, we all do lol but I'm not going to loose sleep over it all. Thank you very much for your reply ? Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 unless I look through his phone which I don't want to do as I've done it before and now he never lets me even hold his phone You snooped so what did you expect from him? You say it was innocent for him to go partying then you break up with him for that? honestly you are controlling and the fact you snooped through his phone is a red flag. My thoughts are you guys should just break up for good, you simply don't trust him. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 You snooped so what did you expect from him? You say it was innocent for him to go partying then you break up with him for that? honestly you are controlling and the fact you snooped through his phone is a red flag. My thoughts are you guys should just break up for good, you simply don't trust him. She didn't snoop. She said unless she looked through his phone. I took that to mean that she wanted to look but she refrained. I'm not sure that was entirely out of choice because she also said he always keeps his locked phone with him but as of now she did not snoop. Partying can be innocent but for 3 days? Sorry but a if my guy went out with the boys Friday night & realized he was gonna stick around for Saturday I'd expect he'd reach out & ask me to join (& bring him a clean shirt -- lol). There's enough here to shake even the most trusting person's faith. In the end if she doesn't believe him, she needs to walk but he has to understand that his behavior does look above board & is going to invoke Qs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Megan1234 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 My thing is if I snooped now It would break all trust that's why I'm not going to do that, thank you person above for understanding! I know what I deserve and it's not sitting in my house while my boyfriend is partying to all hours with his friends and girls in my eyes that's not acceptable, I've gave him another chance as he never does this but if there is a next time I have to walk as I don't deserve it but my red flag is them girls blocking me off social media I find it abit weird and suspicious. All I can do for now is take his word that nothing happened but if something does come up il not let it fly past me as I'd hate to think he was cheating on me while I was lying in my bed trying to get in contact with him. Thank you all! Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 She didn't snoop. She said unless she looked through his phone. I took that to mean that she wanted to look but she refrained. I'm not sure that was entirely out of choice because she also said he always keeps his locked phone with him but as of now she did not snoop. Partying can be innocent but for 3 days? Sorry but a if my guy went out with the boys Friday night & realized he was gonna stick around for Saturday I'd expect he'd reach out & ask me to join (& bring him a clean shirt -- lol). There's enough here to shake even the most trusting person's faith. In the end if she doesn't believe him, she needs to walk but he has to understand that his behavior does look above board & is going to invoke Qs. I look through his phone which I don't want to do as I've done it before Her words not mine. She's the one who said it was innocent not me, she should've made it clear from the beginning that partying for 3 days was out of line. If they didn't have clear boundaries from the start this whole this was going to happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Megan1234 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 You snooped so what did you expect from him? You say it was innocent for him to go partying then you break up with him for that? honestly you are controlling and the fact you snooped through his phone is a red flag. My thoughts are you guys should just break up for good, you simply don't trust him. It is innocent yes but for 3 days with his friends and girls and not get an invite? Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 It is innocent yes but for 3 days with his friends and girls and not get an invite? If you wanted to go you should've told him that! i don't see a problem in that. If you asked and he told you no i'd say dump his ass right now and never look back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 For clarity: did he just drop off the radar for 3 days, and you had no idea where he was? It sounds like there are definitely maturity issues in this relationship. I am gathering he's a young guy, but I would not be interested in dating a dude who goes on a three-day bender and can't get it together enough to even have a change of clothes or a toothbrush. Gross. Where did this all take place? You will never know if he cheated (unless of course he confesses to something) but I wouldn't necessarily assume he did. The trust issue isn't related to the other girls; it's related to him. Your boyfriend can't be tempted if he doesn't allow it. The partying and carrying on certainly aren't a great mix for fidelity, but I also don't think you can assume he cheated based on the fact that these other girls blocked you. I'm sure they got wind of the fact that you were upset and probably concluded you have a problem with them. So they beat you to the punch, so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
vballgirl17 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Just because those girls blocked you doesn't necessarily mean he cheated on you. He could have told them that he didn't want to be in contact with them anymore out of respect for you and they got mad. Girls are petty like that. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 It's not good news, for sure. Here's the thing that bugs me - he never called or texted, he was just poof, gone, for three days. I would think that someone as important to him as you would deserve a phone call that he's off to do stuff with his friends for three days, and one would also think that at some point, if you were on his mind, he could have contacted you over that three-day period, if even just to toss out some pictures. If you came across any pictures where he was hanging on girls, girls hanging on him, questionable behavior, even without cheating, it would get your hackles up in a hurry, so it doesn't surprise me that certain people have blocked you or that aspects of this weekend are being hidden. Where to proceed from here? I don't know. You're both very young and he might just be ready to party and not have a relationship to be "shackled" to. Few guys are ready for serious commitment at this age (girls too, but it seems they're ready, younger) and most young people want to sow their wild oats, and are really just figuring out their lives. It really wouldn't surprise me if he's ready to move on, even if it's subconscious. I would be positively livid if my BF of two years did this to me. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 It is not acceptable behaviour for a bf of 2 years duration to go MIA for three days partying with other women. I don't care how old he is, if he is old enough to be in a relationship with you then he needs to respect you. There is no respect here. He is either on his way out and he just hasn't plucked up enough courage to tell you yet, or he thinks you are a doormat who will put up with anything and is taking advantage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldSparkz Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Perhaps your were blocked by those girls because they didn't want to deal with any drama from what they thought was a 'crazy' girlfriend. Your guy sounds immature and shouldn't be in a relationship if he wants to go on the missing list for 3 days without as much as an invite. Fair enough you gave him a second chance, but don't be surprised if he gives you more reason not to trust him. So tread carefully and make sure he makes it up to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Were you invited to the party? I don't understand. I've not had a boyfriend go to a party for 3 days and not contact me. If it was unplanned surely he would call you and get you to join at some point? I think you guys are young, And maybe it's time to break up. You don't trust him. And it seems like he is ready to move on in life which may just leave you with major trust issues down the track. Maybe this relationship has run. It's course. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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