samsmith12 Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 months now. Very early on in the relationship she opened up to me and told me that she is bisexual; she said that she didn't want to keep it a secret from me and thought I had a right to know. When she first told me I was a little shocked but didn't want to end things with her just because she is bisexual. Generally I am okay with the fact that she is bisexual but from time to time I have these thoughts that she may turn and want to experience things with girls rather than be with me. Am I just overthinking? Should I be worried at all? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 If she's gonna cheat, she's gonna cheat, and if she's not, she's not. The fact that her potential dating pool is larger than most people's (since it includes both genders) doesn't mean she's more likely to cheat than someone with a small dating pool. I would make it clear that you want a monogamous relationship, and that you would consider her cheating with another woman to be equivalent to cheating with another man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Don't give her a pass to sleep with women. Some men do not see other women as a threat in this situation, they do not take them seriously, some even think it is "hot". BUT but such relationships can be just as intense and deep as those with a man, so need to be taken very seriously if you wish to have a long term relationship with her. Has she had a relationship with a woman before? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsmith12 Posted March 13, 2017 Author Share Posted March 13, 2017 No she has not had a relationship with a woman before. She told me she has "experimented" with women which is how she knows she is bisexual. She also told me that she knows she is bisexual and its not just a phase as she could see herself dating a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Did you ask her why she felt the need to point this out to you? I have never felt the need to point out to anyone that I am heterosexual. If you can understand why I would never feel the need to point this out then hopefully you can understand why she did feel the need to point out her sexual orientation to you. Prepare yourself...the end of this relationship is near. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 If she's gonna cheat, she's gonna cheat, and if she's not, she's not. The fact that her potential dating pool is larger than most people's (since it includes both genders) doesn't mean she's more likely to cheat than someone with a small dating pool. I was thinking this too. I think there's a subconscious undercurrent of, "If a person goes both ways, that person is probably wild, would do anything, and is way more apt to be promiscuous." As I said, it's likely subconscious. But it's there. I find it's the same with gay people, at least in my observation. But this is an outmoded, fear-motivated cultural idea. It isn't the reality. In reality, MANY heterosexual married people cheat, which tells us that it sure doesn't take gender fluidity for a person to do sexually adventurous, unacceptable things. If your girlfriend is monogamous then she is. She will say no to women who approach her just as she will say no to men who approach her, and just as you will say no to women who approach you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 There's a difference between being bi-sexual and bi-curious. I think she is just curious....that's why she never really had any interest in a relationship with a female before. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Her being bisexual is just another trait - like blue eyes. It doesn't change anything about your relationship - she either chooses to be monogamous with you, or she doesn't. It's really that simple. Sure, she may have an occasional urge to be with a woman - but don't you have the same urge? You don't act on it if you're committed to your relationship. And that's it - really no need to worry, IMO. It can get more complicated and risky if you decide to pursue a non-monogamous relationship, but in that case you could agree that you both get to pursue other women. Or, you can get into swinging, where you can swap with other couples, and many of the women are bi, so they can have a little playtime together while their husbands watch the show. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 No she has not had a relationship with a woman before. She told me she has "experimented" with women which is how she knows she is bisexual. She also told me that she knows she is bisexual and its not just a phase as she could see herself dating a woman. Like smackie said that's called bi-curious not bi-sexual. Bi-sexual people do more than experiencing, they have relationships and they fall in love with both genders. Anyway, this is not really relevant to your relationship if you are monogamous, right. Having preferences does not give her a pass at having sex outside the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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