highroller30 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Hey guys, I met this girl (both 22) 4 months ago, we dated and it ended nasty. I am trying to see if anyone can relate or has been through something similar.. We met on Tinder and started dating. On the dates she told me she had lost her father and grandparents 3 years ago (verified). She also very early on tried to secure (me) without any need for it by saying she would never date more guys at once, she would be loyal and not drop people because she had been hurt before. She tried to back this up by liking and sharing these dramatic posts on the Poems Porn page on FB on loyalty, hardship etc... After date 5, around christmas, she completely isolated herself for 3 weeks because of her grieving issues. She apologized afterwards, stated she cried about hurting me so much and basically begged me to stay at least friends, have contact and date again soon (after she'd fix herself up). I'd have a special place in her heart. We then met for coffee, 4 weeks before valentines day. She was glad we spoke, glad we found each other in the first place and she wanted to spend valentines day with me (her idea). In all these real life dates I could really see she was very much infatuated, even very early on. After that she just flaked on me. She did not tell me anything and about 2 weeks after the coffee date I saw on her snapchat story she was watching a film with a guy holding her hand. At 2 weeks after her coffee date I found out they just started a relationship. Her explanation was crazy: She missed the feeling of loving someone (the "I love you") type after 7 dates in 4 months. She removed my number after this. She literally stated that "one day I found out I had to try and date this other guy" and not she "loves" him. When I tried to explain how her crazy depression drained my energy and feelings I couldn't reach her. Completely cold and irresponsible. No empathy or mature closure on me. I feel like I have been dating a crazy borderline vampire... Link to post Share on other sites
enddeck Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 You dodged a bullet with this woman.She is so far up her own ass it would take a team of mountain rescuers to find her. Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 The guy is probably her ex. NC and move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 You knew the moment it went south when you had met her on Tinder. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 My you take this so seriously, you knew the signs, you just have to pull in your gut and learn from this. You really don't want a girl like this in your life. She's using Tinder as her toy box (dressing up and dating her doll guy friends). You got picked up and played. It happens just watch out for these type of women who tell you lies and make you want to believe them. Really don't know them until after 90 days, but that's if you can make it to the that time frame. Your lucky she wasn't married and claim to be single but married. Wait to run into those type of women. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Everyone can poke at this with a stick all they want but, it's simple.....you were a backburner boy among others....you didn't make the cut simple as that. That's the thing about OLD....an attractive girl has unlimited options to choose from. Link to post Share on other sites
viatori patuit Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 So does an attractive guy, particularly after 35. I have been there with these kinds of kooky things. I always approached my tinder world the same way - it is fake until we both prove it real. I never invested a ton into a tinder date as a result. I only had two tinder contacts that resulted in anything more that a casual date with no expectations. In many ways dating is issuing shopping. What kind of issues can you take from the other person? Jealousy? Control issues? Communication issues? Drama? I highly doubt you will ever find a person that does not have at least a few quirks that bug you. Same for the other person - can they take your quirks? So, are these quirks so bad you cannot take it? Only you know that answer, but never doubt that there is ALWAYS someone else out there if you do not find your current partner to your liking. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldSparkz Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 She sounds like one of those people who fall fast and hard for the person they are dating. Perhaps that is what she wanted to happen with you considering how she tried to secure you into a relationship so early on. But when you didn't respond at the pace she wanted, she decided that you weren't for her. Look how quickly she got loved up with someone else and posted the pics on social media! She's definitely not the one for you. Sounds like you're more of a rational man who doesn't jump into relationships so easily. Link to post Share on other sites
Author highroller30 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 She sounds like one of those people who fall fast and hard for the person they are dating. Perhaps that is what she wanted to happen with you considering how she tried to secure you into a relationship so early on. But when you didn't respond at the pace she wanted, she decided that you weren't for her. Look how quickly she got loved up with someone else and posted the pics on social media! She's definitely not the one for you. Sounds like you're more of a rational man who doesn't jump into relationships so easily. I absolutely agree, she always talked about being like this and that but in the end she could not walk the walk so for that reason she turned out to be a bad fit. I am a rational, positive guy with 2 companies. Last months have been about worrying, nurturing and trying to understand stuff. This has nothing to do with making it to the top with a supportive partner. However it sucks that someone can be so idiotic and weak and sucks you into it. Her loss though. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Here's what jumped out at me. She flaked right before Christmas. You say she lost her dad & her grandparents 3 years ago. My mom died 6 years ago & my dad 5. I still go off the rails right before Thanksgiving & don't come out of it until January. I miss them so much & all the holiday joy with happy families makes me cry all the time. I sobbed the whole ride to my friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner. She had lost her mom 2 years ago. Both of us upset everybody else when we both burst into tears during dinner. At Christmas DH & I have the luxury of running away. I refuse to be home for Christmas because it's just too painful. So in your story, I saw grief. She popped back up mid January, which is about the time I re-emerge from my holiday blues. She was enthusiastic about going forward, planning Valentine's Day etc. You didn't believe her so she went out & found a guy who was up for a romance. You didn't understand the source of her original disappearance & that caused you two to fail as a couple. I'm not saying anybody was at fault. It's hard to articulate & she didn't communicate properly. You also probably wouldn't get it until you have been through it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author highroller30 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 Here's what jumped out at me. She flaked right before Christmas. You say she lost her dad & her grandparents 3 years ago. My mom died 6 years ago & my dad 5. I still go off the rails right before Thanksgiving & don't come out of it until January. I miss them so much & all the holiday joy with happy families makes me cry all the time. I sobbed the whole ride to my friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner. She had lost her mom 2 years ago. Both of us upset everybody else when we both burst into tears during dinner. At Christmas DH & I have the luxury of running away. I refuse to be home for Christmas because it's just too painful. So in your story, I saw grief. She popped back up mid January, which is about the time I re-emerge from my holiday blues. She was enthusiastic about going forward, planning Valentine's Day etc. You didn't believe her so she went out & found a guy who was up for a romance. You didn't understand the source of her original disappearance & that caused you two to fail as a couple. I'm not saying anybody was at fault. It's hard to articulate & she didn't communicate properly. You also probably wouldn't get it until you have been through it. Thats not what it was though because: 1. I forgave her 2. I said i would support her always and the door would always be open 3. I'd give her space and time when she needed it 4. I never said I did not believe her She just literally decided she didn't love me after 7 dates and ran off with another guy. She stated she lost friends too because of her issues. She's so confused that aside from the death of her family, all else is on her. Being constantly depressed and not moving on, getting friends and me to leave is a choice. Plenty of people who do not threat others like garbage or doormats even though they are depressed. Treat others like you like to be treated too... Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 You knew the moment it went south when you had met her on Tinder. Lord yes! Lots of wholesome men and women on Tinder, haha! Lots of potential husbands and wives, haha! Link to post Share on other sites
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