Ja_smyth Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 (edited) This girl just started working at my office and I introduced myself. It seemed like we were both smitten by each other. I'm good looking & 6'4" and she's a really fine girl too. We got talking and I got her number. She seemed kind of okay with flirting and we started to talk dirty and about sex. Also about how she likes sex. What's worrying is she sometimes she brings up the topic of us hooking up and when I get excited and plan, she says she will do it when she's comfortable and that I'm pressuring her. She talks of all the other boys she's slept with or friends with. Other times she talks about how she doesn't have friends. Truth is, she knows how to do the right things to get me hooked. Like kissing me at a corner & talking about how she wants me to take her there. Then she says she wants to get comfortable when I get excited. I'm not in love with her. I do like her, even though she has asked that I don't catch feelings with her. Obviously mentioning other guys would ensure I don't. I've tried to ignore her but she notices & comes to kiss me or says something. A lot of times I just wanna forget her but we in the same office. I can't even explain right but you get the drift. What the **** do I do with this girl? Edited February 25, 2017 by Ja_smyth Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Well, she probably hasn't much to sell, other than her sexuality, so she uses that card with you. And it works, why should she stop? I guess that according to her experience, after you sleep with her, you'll lose interest, so she drag the "before" period as much as she can. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Yes, I think there is an element of manipulation here. She likes you dancing on the end of her string. Unless she is a soulless jerk, this is probably her way of guarding her heart because she's scared. You can politely but firmly call her on it -- Hey, I actually like you & would like to take you on a proper date to see if you & I could manage to build something good here but you have to stop playing games. I know the risk of getting hurt is scary. You have the ability to hurt me too you know. But it's gotta mean we try. No more teasing. No more telling me about other guys. A real date. You and me. What do you say? If she balks, put some distance in here. By that I mean date other women & don't hide that fact from her. Don't rub it in her face but generally be less available to her because you have other plans. If she says yes, take her on an awesome date. Not coffee or out for drinks. Put in some effort. Romance her. Give her a passionate, sweep her off her feet, curl her toes good night kiss and then you go home. No pressure for sex. Let her initiate that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ja_smyth Posted February 25, 2017 Author Share Posted February 25, 2017 Well, she probably hasn't much to sell, other than her sexuality, so she uses that card with you. And it works, why should she stop? I guess that according to her experience, after you sleep with her, you'll lose interest, so she drag the "before" period as much as she can. What do u suggest I do then? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 the boys she talks about who she sometimes calls friends...and other times she doesnt......she knows they arent really her friends...probably just trying to wear her down in the friend zone........... did she instigate dirty talk or did you?.. possibly this woman has been played once or twice and is at this point in time really insecure.....about her own worth other than sex......she probably seeks a guy who will treat her right.....but sexuality is what she knows and is used too..so she sticks to what she knows...... i second what donnivain said.....let her know you dont play games.....you dont want to know about other guys and you would like to take her out one on one adn get to know her not whom she has had sex with....no pressure no sex...... sometimes when a woman gets insecure and throws out shadows .... all it takes...is just one guy to treat her right...for her to be who she really is under the sexuality and the flirting and her insecurities....you might be that guy to show her how a guy can treat a woman and not all dates need to involve sex........good luck...deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaInTheBrine Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 What the **** do I do with this girl? I think the best route to take here is to see other women (if you're not already) so you don't get hung up on her, don't take her seriously at all when she does this stuff with you, and keep her as an option if she pursues you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 If I was you don't even think twice about this. You will learn an lesson by not going anywhere with her. You don't even know if she is carrying any infections. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 What do u suggest I do then? My suggestion is general, and i think it fits to most situations... Me, my self, got to the conclusion that guts and courage much more effective than hesitation and fear. With this attitude, yes, I might get hurt often, but it is so lucrative, you can't imagine. So, I wouldn't give much attention to figure out what does she want. I wouldn't try to go inside her head. I would make advances and gestures to show her that you care for her, that you like her, that you appreciate her. I would invest a lot. This - only if you really like her. If you just want to b*** her then I don't know... you can do the same but it would be misleading her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 @Ja_smyth ~ Teasing can be fun for a while but if you're not getting anywhere then you should put a firm stop to it. If she tries to get close, put your arm out and keep her at a distance, tell her this is getting boring now. Don't let her toy you around anymore, especially at work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Well, she probably hasn't much to sell, other than her sexuality, so she uses that card with you. And it works, why should she stop? I guess that according to her experience, after you sleep with her, you'll lose interest, so she drag the "before" period as much as she can. Yep she is a tease. I'm bored by her already--as you eventually would be, I'm guessing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldSparkz Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 It sounds to me like you don't see a future with her and want to put an end to the flirting (and her manipulation) without coming across like a d*ck because you work in the same office. I find that people who like to manipulate only do so with people that feed them, so you have to stop with the flirting and dirty talk, stop playing her games and she'll leave you alone and then find herself another plaything to build her ego. So next time you see her at work, act PROFESSIONAL. If she tries any of her games, be firm and tell that you only want to focus on work from now on and want to leave it at that. You don't owe her any other explanation. Then going forward, be careful when it comes to relationships with work colleagues. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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