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firefly123

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Hi ladies, to those of you who are 25-36 years old.

 

How attracted would you be to a guy who was:

 

-40

-living with parents

-unemployed for 8 months but looking for a job.

-well educated

-never married, single and childless

-only ever had 6 relationships that lasted a few months

-very quiet

-doesn't own a house, doesnt drive.

-physically a 7/10.

 

thanks

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Hi ladies, to those of you who are 25-36 years old.

 

How attracted would you be to a guy who was:

 

-40

-living with parents

-unemployed for 8 months but looking for a job.

-well educated

-never married, single and childless

-only ever had 6 relationships that lasted a few months

-very quiet

-doesn't own a house, doesnt drive.

-physically a 7/10.

 

thanks

 

NO WAY IN HELL . . . I'm 57 now, but I can tell you I wouldn't have been attracted to that when I was in that age bracket if I wanted a relationship. If I were into a one-night stand/casual sex, I'd think twice too.

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NO WAY IN HELL . . . I'm 57 now, but I can tell you I wouldn't have been attracted to that when I was in that age bracket if I wanted a relationship. If I were into a one-night stand/casual sex, I'd think twice too.

 

What would put you off?

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CaliforniaGirl
Hi ladies, to those of you who are 25-36 years old.

 

How attracted would you be to a guy who was:

 

-40

-living with parents

-unemployed for 8 months but looking for a job.

-well educated

-never married, single and childless

-only ever had 6 relationships that lasted a few months

-very quiet

-doesn't own a house, doesnt drive.

-physically a 7/10.

 

thanks

 

I'm not in your desired age range, but at one time, I was... :)

 

40: At 36 I would have gone out with a 40-year-old. Younger than that, and increasingly younger...I was way more hesitant. I never did like really big age gaps and to me, in my late 20s 40 would have seemed (sorry) old...just an entirely different category, stage and so on, from me.

 

Living with parents: just no. I don't know if I ever dated a man over the age of about 25 who was still living with his parents.

 

Unemployed: I wouldn't be overjoyed at this. Circumstances could play a part, though. For instance...if he'd been forced to relocate for some reason. That can be tough. I know I would not have expected a man to see me as a catch either if I had been unemployed for three-quarters of a year, so to me, that's not so much a gender thing.

 

Well educated: I like articulate people, degrees aside.

 

Never married/childless: This is cruel, unfair, yadda yadda, call it what you will. I tend to be a bit wary of people who at 40 are nowhere near marriage yet, IF they are marriage-minded. I would wonder, "Why?" (For those unmarried by choice, that only makes sense...they're not married because they don't want to be married. Simple.) I did unfortunately find, when approached by older men when I was in my 20s, that as they approached 40something (JMO, being honest here), these "confirmed bachelors" seemed...I don't know, old for their ages. They were SO set in their ways, SO used to their lives going JUST as they wanted things to go that they felt like they were in their 50s or even older...that made the gap even more unreasonable/undoable. Again, FOR ME. Not everyone may have had these experiences.

 

Only half a dozen, non-lasing relationships: by 40? This would be the final nail in the coffin, sorry.

 

Very quiet: That's fine.

 

No house, doesn't drive: Not everyone can afford a house, that can take time. But...40 already, NO dependents to pay for yet still can't get a home? That changes my answer to dating to a "no," pretty much. I mean...why not? Doesn't drive: also a no. Just no. Maybe if the person lived in a locale where one literally never needs a car? Like centrally in NYC?

 

Physically 7/10: We always overestimate ourselves. So, no comment.

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I don't know, I can't judge people according to this information. he can be a big turn off, and he can be the most interesting guy on earth.

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What would put you off?

 

 

-40: This is too old for 25 year olds. They typically want a guy who is younger.

 

-living with parents: Lack of independence, women want a guy who can take care of them or at least take care of himself

 

-unemployed for 8 months but looking for a job.: How are you going to have money to take her out?

 

-well educated: Most women don't care about this. Some snobs do but I rarely see it listed as a requirement. I have a graduate degree but don't even list it.

 

-never married, single and childless: At 40, they might question why you've never been married. I don't think many would see it as a benefit

 

-only ever had 6 relationships that lasted a few months: Big red flag, they would feel like you either didn't want or were incapable of a LTR.

 

-very quiet: Women typically don't like quiet guys. They like alphas to take charge. Not to say you can't be quiet but they need to see you being assertive / have drive.

 

-doesn't own a house, doesnt drive.: The lack of owning a house isn't the end of the world - most might be ok if you had your own place. Lack of a car is a big deal unless you are in a major city. Will they have to pick you up?

 

-physically a 7/10.: If you are in fact a 7 that would be fine for a lot of women. However, if you were a 10/10 none of the above would matter! Ask Brad Pitt or George Clooney :lmao:

 

The good news is you can work on all of these things except your age. At 45 I get no hits from women under 35 on OLD and I look pretty young for my age (I'm likely filtered out). Once I had a date with a 30 YO but she flaked. I question a girl who wants to date someone 15 years older anyway- but I am open to it :)

 

Not saying it doesn't happen, but the odds are stacked against you.

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How attracted would you be to a guy who was:

 

-40

-living with parents

-unemployed for 8 months but looking for a job.

-well educated

-never married, single and childless

-only ever had 6 relationships that lasted a few months

-very quiet

-doesn't own a house, doesnt drive.

-physically a 7/10.

 

 

 

If he was physically a 7/10 I'd probably be attracted to him. Unfortunately, any superficial good looks would quickly become outweighed by the minuses.

 

 

Well educated is good. Never married & childless is fine. At 40 I was in the same boat. I have since gotten married. Quiet is OK (my husband is quiet); completely unable to uphold his end of a conversation would be a deal breaker.

 

 

the other things are more problematic but I'd need more info. Why doesn't the guy drive? Where does he live? In a big metropolis it's no big deal; in the sticks or if he lost the DL for 10+ years for DWI or worse, heck no. The number of past relationships is not that important as long as the person has basic social skills.

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The truth? It will hurt i'm sorry. Zero chances of attraction and l'd be too embaressed to introduce him to family and friends.

 

Get your act together before going back to dating.

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Why doesn't the guy drive? Where does he live? In a big metropolis it's no big deal; in the sticks or if he lost the DL for 10+ years for DWI or worse, heck no. The number of past relationships is not that important as long as the person has basic social skills.

 

Why doesn't he drive?

He dislikes driving and hasnt driven for 15 years. Lives in a small city. Parents drive him around at the moment.

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-40: This is too old for 25 year olds. They typically want a guy who is younger.

 

-living with parents: Lack of independence, women want a guy who can take care of them or at least take care of himself

 

-unemployed for 8 months but looking for a job.: How are you going to have money to take her out?

 

-well educated: Most women don't care about this. Some snobs do but I rarely see it listed as a requirement. I have a graduate degree but don't even list it.

 

-never married, single and childless: At 40, they might question why you've never been married. I don't think many would see it as a benefit

 

-only ever had 6 relationships that lasted a few months: Big red flag, they would feel like you either didn't want or were incapable of a LTR.

 

-very quiet: Women typically don't like quiet guys. They like alphas to take charge. Not to say you can't be quiet but they need to see you being assertive / have drive.

 

-doesn't own a house, doesnt drive.: The lack of owning a house isn't the end of the world - most might be ok if you had your own place. Lack of a car is a big deal unless you are in a major city. Will they have to pick you up?

 

-physically a 7/10.: If you are in fact a 7 that would be fine for a lot of women. However, if you were a 10/10 none of the above would matter! Ask Brad Pitt or George Clooney :lmao:

 

The good news is you can work on all of these things except your age. At 45 I get no hits from women under 35 on OLD and I look pretty young for my age (I'm likely filtered out). Once I had a date with a 30 YO but she flaked. I question a girl who wants to date someone 15 years older anyway- but I am open to it :)

 

Not saying it doesn't happen, but the odds are stacked against you.

 

 

Not me personally, but this guy will only consider women of 25-36 as he wants a family.

 

Unemployed for 8 months, but have interviews lined up at Google.

 

Didn't have many LTR as doesnt like to compromise, is very picky on women (no short/high maintenance/over a size 6/bad teeth/unattractive/36+ women).

 

Quiet in terms of not being able to hold a conversation very well. Hates talking on the phone.

 

Living with parents as he is unemployed right now but i expect he would buy a house once he has a job.

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Not me personally, but this guy will only consider women of 25-36 as he wants a family.

 

Unemployed for 8 months, but have interviews lined up at Google.

 

Didn't have many LTR as doesnt like to compromise, is very picky on women (no short/high maintenance/over a size 6/bad teeth/unattractive/36+ women).

 

Quiet in terms of not being able to hold a conversation very well. Hates talking on the phone.

 

Living with parents as he is unemployed right now but i expect he would buy a house once he has a job.

 

 

There is a reason this guy is single & it has more to do with his personality then his job status. He comes across as spoiled and entitled. He doesn't bring much to the party but he won't date a woman who is a size 8 or over 36. NEXT!

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CaliforniaGirl
Not me personally, but this guy will only consider women of 25-36 as he wants a family.

 

Unemployed for 8 months, but have interviews lined up at Google.

 

Didn't have many LTR as doesnt like to compromise, is very picky on women (no short/high maintenance/over a size 6/bad teeth/unattractive/36+ women).

 

Quiet in terms of not being able to hold a conversation very well. Hates talking on the phone.

 

Living with parents as he is unemployed right now but i expect he would buy a house once he has a job.

 

This person can't hold onto a relationship for more than six months yet plans on having children?

 

Not even his own apartment, or even a rented room but boom, he's going to easily buy a house and handle homeownership?

 

His parents drive him around...because he doesn't like to drive?

 

These are even bigger nos.

 

At the very least I would drop the idea of finding a young girl to breed so you can have the children you say you want. If you can't even handle an adult for 6 months then you'd for sure be running a a baby with your car after the first six weeks of wet poop and unreasonable, unfixable screaming.

 

Start smaller than going from having Mom drive you to drop you off at the movies, to married homeowner parent.

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I wouldn't date him at any age. The lives with parents and mother drives him around is enough to make me run.

 

But what if the chemistry is really good?

 

Is it worth pursuing this when he is 11 years older than me?

 

P.S. he dresses like a college kid. tshirt, shorts and backpack and baseball cap back to front.

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Not me personally, but this guy will only consider women of 25-36 as he wants a family.

 

Unemployed for 8 months, but have interviews lined up at Google.

 

Didn't have many LTR as doesnt like to compromise, is very picky on women (no short/high maintenance/over a size 6/bad teeth/unattractive/36+ women).

 

Quiet in terms of not being able to hold a conversation very well. Hates talking on the phone.

 

Living with parents as he is unemployed right now but i expect he would buy a house once he has a job.

 

This guy is awfully picky considering his negatives FAR outweigh his positives

 

I wouldnt go out on one date with a guy like this...not even a phone call

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But what if the chemistry is really good?

 

Is it worth pursuing this when he is 11 years older than me?

 

P.S. he dresses like a college kid. tshirt, shorts and backpack and baseball cap back to front.

 

 

If the chemistry is that great take him as a FWB. Do not entangle yourself with this guy. He doesn't sound like somebody who will make a good partner. You will end up paying for everything & driving him around.

 

 

Other than sex, what do you get out of this? The chance to change his diapers when you're 60 & he's 70?

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But what if the chemistry is really good?

 

Is it worth pursuing this when he is 11 years older than me?

 

P.S. he dresses like a college kid. tshirt, shorts and backpack and baseball cap back to front.

 

Is this for you? If so, girl stay away. If it was any girl I would tell her the same thing. I guarantee they could do so much better and better in her own age range.

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If the chemistry is that great take him as a FWB. Do not entangle yourself with this guy. He doesn't sound like somebody who will make a good partner. You will end up paying for everything & driving him around.

 

 

Other than sex, what do you get out of this? The chance to change his diapers when you're 60 & he's 70?

 

I already paid for the first two dates

The sex is really good (although its over really quickly, about 5 mins)

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I would never have dated a guy like this, for many of the same reasons as set forth above. Probably the worst part is a 40 year old being driven around by his parents. Not a chance.

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I would never have dated a guy like this, for many of the same reasons as set forth above. Probably the worst part is a 40 year old being driven around by his parents. Not a chance.

 

By his 72 year old parents?:lmao:

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I already paid for the first two dates

The sex is really good (although its over really quickly, about 5 mins)

 

 

Really. . . ? Truly good sex lasts way more than 5 minutes.

 

 

The more you write, the less attractive he is.

 

 

Go ahead & keep having fun with him but understand he has zero long term potential. Guard your heart. When you stop giving & giving, he's gonna find fault with you & disappear. He may also bail as soon as he gets a job & can afford to take out the women he wants, as oppose to the nice women like you who are willing to foot the bill.

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Really. . . ? Truly good sex lasts way more than 5 minutes.

 

 

The more you write, the less attractive he is.

 

 

Go ahead & keep having fun with him but understand he has zero long term potential. Guard your heart. When you stop giving & giving, he's gonna find fault with you & disappear. He may also bail as soon as he gets a job & can afford to take out the women he wants, as oppose to the nice women like you who are willing to foot the bill.

 

um, he's quite well-endowed? :laugh::laugh::laugh:

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But what if the chemistry is really good?

 

Is it worth pursuing this when he is 11 years older than me?

 

P.S. he dresses like a college kid. tshirt, shorts and backpack and baseball cap back to front.

You can't have a solid long lasting relationship on attraction alone...ever.

 

Compatibility in all aspects of each others lives is crucial, including maturity, stability, and what they can bring to the table financially. It's called expectations and dealbreakers. The majority of what has been listed are dealbreakers.

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