grabaka Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 (edited) Long story short I started talking/text to a Woman I went to school with, and I had not seen her for 16 years. We were texting almost every other day an in long duration as in a lot of texts. We made plans for a Friday but she had to cancel due to work, she was very apologetic and offered/asked to go earlier in the week on Wednesday (yesterday) cause she really wanted to meet up. We meet up at a restaurant at 7pm, ate and talked until like 9pm in the restaurant, then we took a walk and talked until 10pm. Basically 3 hours of comfortable, fluid conversation...like so comfortable we both really opened up and there was no nervous jitters as if it was a complete stranger. My feelings are that it was a good time, she laughed and seemed to enjoy the evening. As the night was ending 10pm ...I walked her to the car, hugged her bye and said lets me up soon and she said ok. Today I laid low today in hopes she would at least text first to say something simple like I had a good time, or it was great meeting up. The text never came so I texted her and said "Hey I had a good time last night, and thanks because you make me laugh and that's a compliment cause it is not an easy thing to do" She replied with " lol youre something else Good morning, I just seen the text, I slept in today....but I had a good time as well and a lot of great laughs too!". Basically I was hoping to gauge her interest and if she truly had a good time last night from a text today....but the response she gave was kinda flat.... A while later I replied back and said playfully (in which she knows I am playful in a manner like this), "I'm sorry if I rambled talking a bit last night....What can I say you had me on edge ;)". That was at 1pm....well I never ever got a return text. So my mind frame is this now....We're both 33 and Im not going to waste my time.... so part of me says screw it, move on and dont look back. BUT considering how I really did enjoy the evening and that I tend to read into things I wonder if she's trying to test me or play hard to get or if she was busy and forgot to text back? Either way it sucks and I hate feeling like this. So give it to me straight everyone, dont hold back.....I need to hear the truth even if it's hard truth. Thanks! Edited February 24, 2017 by grabaka Link to post Share on other sites
Telemachus Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 If you don't want to waste your time, stop texting entirely, other than for work if you need to text for work. Stop looking for great meaning and trying to convey great meaning through text messages. It's an ephemeral throw-away medium, and you're old enough to remember a time before texting. As to being 33, you probably have close to another 50 years to live, so the clock isn't exactly winding-down on you. Making each moment count is a good idea, no matter one's age, but that means using our time for productive things that make us happy and make the world a better place. Tapping away on your phone (and waiting for others to do the same) neither makes you happy nor makes the world a better place. There's a saying that rings true here: "Keep doing what you're doing, and you'll keep getting what you're getting." Try something completely different. As to getting together again with her, you didn't propose a date, time, and place, so you have yourself to blame that she didn't read your mind, and you didn't give her a yes/no opportunity to respond. If you want to see her again, be specific - date, time, and place. If you're still so concerned about her texting habits and concluding that she's not interested in you, then let her go. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Geezz c'mon. You need to grow some confidence. When she replied back she had a great time it was time to ask her out on another date. Some type of fun activity for the following weekend. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Geezz c'mon. You need to grow some confidence. When she replied back she had a great time it was time to ask her out on another date. Some type of fun activity for the following weekend. I agree with the above post. You should have asked her out again plain and simple. That text you sent really wasn't a text to respond to, so I can see why there wasn't a response. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 You're kidding, right? I thought her response was quite enthusiastic. Where in there do you see flat? What did you want, a ticker tape parade? Most adults don't text. You can't tell anything from the context or frequency of a text. Stop trying to rely on it to gage anything. Call her later & arrange date two. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Her response was perfect. Your next text should have been asking her out on a second date and not saying "sorry" for something even if you thought you were being playful. I just don't like using that word when it's not necessary and you don't really know someone. Ask her out with definite plans and see what happens. Have you two talked at all on the phone? How about calling her this time? Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 I think you want this to happen more than she does. If a woman finds something she values in a man, or values their courtship, she wouldn't be flat with her responses but would make it clear that she was interested too. In this way, she let's you know she is available for further dating (a.k.a gives you the green light to keep pursuing) as well as reassures herself that you are aware she wants this to go further. Especially if a woman is in her 30s, she is more upfront towards men she wants, whether it's by hinting through texts or being downright verbal with "I like you". In other words, she would make sure you knew she was interested to see more. As this seems to be lacking by what you have shared, I would say it wouldn't hurt for you to keep looking. P.S I think you showed some insecurity with the second apologetic text, which my be why she hasn't responded. Link to post Share on other sites
ffw Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Long story short I started talking/text to a Woman I went to school with, and I had not seen her for 16 years. We were texting almost every other day an in long duration as in a lot of texts. We made plans for a Friday but she had to cancel due to work, she was very apologetic and offered/asked to go earlier in the week on Wednesday (yesterday) cause she really wanted to meet up. We meet up at a restaurant at 7pm, ate and talked until like 9pm in the restaurant, then we took a walk and talked until 10pm. Basically 3 hours of comfortable, fluid conversation...like so comfortable we both really opened up and there was no nervous jitters as if it was a complete stranger. My feelings are that it was a good time, she laughed and seemed to enjoy the evening. As the night was ending 10pm ...I walked her to the car, hugged her bye and said lets me up soon and she said ok. Today I laid low today in hopes she would at least text first to say something simple like I had a good time, or it was great meeting up. The text never came so I texted her and said "Hey I had a good time last night, and thanks because you make me laugh and that's a compliment cause it is not an easy thing to do" She replied with " lol youre something else Good morning, I just seen the text, I slept in today....but I had a good time as well and a lot of great laughs too!". Basically I was hoping to gauge her interest and if she truly had a good time last night from a text today....but the response she gave was kinda flat.... A while later I replied back and said playfully (in which she knows I am playful in a manner like this), "I'm sorry if I rambled talking a bit last night....What can I say you had me on edge ;)". That was at 1pm....well I never ever got a return text. So my mind frame is this now....We're both 33 and Im not going to waste my time.... so part of me says screw it, move on and dont look back. BUT considering how I really did enjoy the evening and that I tend to read into things I wonder if she's trying to test me or play hard to get or if she was busy and forgot to text back? Either way it sucks and I hate feeling like this. So give it to me straight everyone, dont hold back.....I need to hear the truth even if it's hard truth. Thanks! I agree with others it was your turn to set up a date when she replied. Also, you are texting her too much and then, it seems, waiting her to reply. Set up a fixed date and do what you did the first time. You are not going to increase her interest level by texts and what's the rush? Cheers... Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 A while later I replied back and said playfully (in which she knows I am playful in a manner like this), "I'm sorry if I rambled talking a bit last night....What can I say you had me on edge ;)". You were fishing for compliments, never a sign of confidence. Taking it a bit further, apologizing for basically being yourself is never a good thing. Now if you'd actually done something you shouldn't have, that's a different matter. P.S I think you showed some insecurity with the second apologetic text Yup... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author grabaka Posted February 25, 2017 Author Share Posted February 25, 2017 Well, it's safe my assumptions were right....she's not interested because I havent heard from her except that 1 text on Thursday. I dont get in to all that showing confidence, and looking in secure crap people talk about on here....Im a firm believer in if she is interested she will keep in contact, she hasnt so oh well on to the next female. Thanks though for all of the comments. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 If I got a text from a guy saying "you had me on edge", I wouldn't take that as a positive... it's rather cringy, to tell you the truth. But hey, you're done and over this one. On to the next. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 (edited) Long story short I started talking/text to a Woman I went to school with, and I had not seen her for 16 years. We were texting almost every other day an in long duration as in a lot of texts. We made plans for a Friday but she had to cancel due to work, she was very apologetic and offered/asked to go earlier in the week on Wednesday (yesterday) cause she really wanted to meet up. We meet up at a restaurant at 7pm, ate and talked until like 9pm in the restaurant, then we took a walk and talked until 10pm. Basically 3 hours of comfortable, fluid conversation...like so comfortable we both really opened up and there was no nervous jitters as if it was a complete stranger. My feelings are that it was a good time, she laughed and seemed to enjoy the evening. As the night was ending 10pm ...I walked her to the car, hugged her bye and said lets me up soon and she said ok. Today I laid low today in hopes she would at least text first to say something simple like I had a good time, or it was great meeting up. The text never came so I texted her and said "Hey I had a good time last night, and thanks because you make me laugh and that's a compliment cause it is not an easy thing to do" She replied with " lol youre something else Good morning, I just seen the text, I slept in today....but I had a good time as well and a lot of great laughs too!". Basically I was hoping to gauge her interest and if she truly had a good time last night from a text today....but the response she gave was kinda flat.... A while later I replied back and said playfully (in which she knows I am playful in a manner like this), "I'm sorry if I rambled talking a bit last night....What can I say you had me on edge ;)". That was at 1pm....well I never ever got a return text. So my mind frame is this now....We're both 33 and Im not going to waste my time.... so part of me says screw it, move on and dont look back. BUT considering how I really did enjoy the evening and that I tend to read into things I wonder if she's trying to test me or play hard to get or if she was busy and forgot to text back? Either way it sucks and I hate feeling like this. So give it to me straight everyone, dont hold back.....I need to hear the truth even if it's hard truth. Thanks! when someone tells you they slept in and just saw your text the day after the date, you didn't lay low. Edited February 26, 2017 by Simple Logic Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Well, it's safe my assumptions were right....she's not interested because I havent heard from her except that 1 text on Thursday. I dont get in to all that showing confidence, and looking in secure crap people talk about on here....Im a firm believer in if she is interested she will keep in contact, she hasnt so oh well on to the next female. Thanks though for all of the comments. The text exchange was Thursday. If she is or ever was a "Rules" girl it makes perfect sense to me that you wouldn't hear from her again. She doesn't want you to know her weekend plans. If she has some, she's trying no to throw it in your face. If she's sitting home alone she doesn't want you to know that. Timing is everything. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Long story short I started talking/text to a Woman I went to school with, and I had not seen her for 16 years. We were texting almost every other day an in long duration as in a lot of texts. We made plans for a Friday but she had to cancel due to work, she was very apologetic and offered/asked to go earlier in the week on Wednesday (yesterday) cause she really wanted to meet up. We meet up at a restaurant at 7pm, ate and talked until like 9pm in the restaurant, then we took a walk and talked until 10pm. Basically 3 hours of comfortable, fluid conversation...like so comfortable we both really opened up and there was no nervous jitters as if it was a complete stranger. My feelings are that it was a good time, she laughed and seemed to enjoy the evening. As the night was ending 10pm ...I walked her to the car, hugged her bye and said lets me up soon and she said ok. Today I laid low today in hopes she would at least text first to say something simple like I had a good time, or it was great meeting up. The text never came so I texted her and said "Hey I had a good time last night, and thanks because you make me laugh and that's a compliment cause it is not an easy thing to do" She replied with " lol youre something else Good morning, I just seen the text, I slept in today....but I had a good time as well and a lot of great laughs too!". Basically I was hoping to gauge her interest and if she truly had a good time last night from a text today....but the response she gave was kinda flat.... A while later I replied back and said playfully (in which she knows I am playful in a manner like this), "I'm sorry if I rambled talking a bit last night....What can I say you had me on edge ;)". That was at 1pm....well I never ever got a return text. So my mind frame is this now....We're both 33 and Im not going to waste my time.... so part of me says screw it, move on and dont look back. BUT considering how I really did enjoy the evening and that I tend to read into things I wonder if she's trying to test me or play hard to get or if she was busy and forgot to text back? Either way it sucks and I hate feeling like this. So give it to me straight everyone, dont hold back.....I need to hear the truth even if it's hard truth. Thanks! Slow down! Everything going great here why spoil it. Just have some patients. Your to excited but she told you the text how she was feeling. Text her for another date take your time things seem to be very good. Buy her rose next time, but find what color of a rose she likes. You don't have to buy a dozen roses, you two just started dating.. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldSparkz Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Well, it's safe my assumptions were right....she's not interested because I havent heard from her except that 1 text on Thursday. I dont get in to all that showing confidence, and looking in secure crap people talk about on here....Im a firm believer in if she is interested she will keep in contact, she hasnt so oh well on to the next female. Thanks though for all of the comments. She may have been playing by the 'rules' and doesn't initiate contact with the guy, waits a certain amount of time before responding etc etc, or she isn't interested, or she's dealing with a breakup, met someone else...who knows. However, whatever the reason, she should have sent you a polite "thanks but no thanks" reply, considering that you made the effort to take her out after not seeing each other in 16 years. I would say that you're right to move on...she wasn't worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
FoundLove Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 I honestly don't think you should give up on this girl just yet. Wait a day or two and ask her out on another date. She's probably waiting for you to make the next move, i.e. ask her out again. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Well, it's safe my assumptions were right....she's not interested because I havent heard from her except that 1 text on Thursday. I dont get in to all that showing confidence, and looking in secure crap people talk about on here....Im a firm believer in if she is interested she will keep in contact, she hasnt so oh well on to the next female. Thanks though for all of the comments. If you want a girlfriend than you have to top assuming and start acting. After she told you she had a great time it was your turn to invite her right away for a weekend date. If I saw a man for the first time on Wednesday and we had a great time I'd expect a date for the following weekend. If Thursday he'd chit chat but no talk of another date I'd think he's wasting my time. You are oozing too much female energy, women want a guy that makes invitations and make things happen. Not a man that is waiting for validation over text. Link to post Share on other sites
Author grabaka Posted February 26, 2017 Author Share Posted February 26, 2017 I truly appreciate everyone's responses....and to those who are saying ask her out again... I did. I texted her about making plans this past Friday, I said I'd like to meet up again and get to know her more, I asked her what her schedule looked like. Once again I never got a response. Granted I knew she was leaving town for a work trip, that's why I didnt call...but cmon, if she was interested or wanted to go out again she could have taken 20 seconds of her time to reply. It's annoying to get ghosted, she could have just said thanks but I'm not interested.... that would have been better and felt better. I wanted to believe she was testing me by not responding to see if I'd blow her phone up with texts but I didn't. I've just have to cut my losses on this one and walk. Sucks I wasn't worth the time for a no thank you text, but she's probably just the type who's not comfortable to say something like that so she ghosts.... you live, you learn... I did. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 I truly appreciate everyone's responses....and to those who are saying ask her out again... I did. I texted her about making plans this past Friday, I said I'd like to meet up again and get to know her more, I asked her what her schedule looked like. Once again I never got a response. Granted I knew she was leaving town for a work trip, that's why I didnt call...but cmon, if she was interested or wanted to go out again she could have taken 20 seconds of her time to reply. It's annoying to get ghosted, she could have just said thanks but I'm not interested.... that would have been better and felt better. I wanted to believe she was testing me by not responding to see if I'd blow her phone up with texts but I didn't. I've just have to cut my losses on this one and walk. Sucks I wasn't worth the time for a no thank you text, but she's probably just the type who's not comfortable to say something like that so she ghosts.... you live, you learn... I did. Women have learned it's easier to ghost than write something back. Because if she does write back "i'm not interested" some guys will blow up on her via text Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts