AmIRight Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Do you ever think about past 'unfulfilled potential' opportunities and reminisce on what it could have been with the past dates? Rather than looking for new dates. Why does that happen? Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 It depends? I know in my past there was one women I could have married if I just did one thing right in college with her. I made the wrong choice back then because if I did I would have everything I wanted out of a relationship today. I have to pay the price for that decision back then. I also lost her has a friend too. Double whammed!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 It's normal, it's a trick of the brain. The brain goes back to something that makes you feel good. You probably get a shot of dopamine when you think about it. Chase it out of your mind. Your future is in front of you, not behind. It's up to you to make it great. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Sure, your mind wants to find the connection to what made you feel good about them at the time you were dating. But you need to remember that there is a reason you stop dating. When I find myself thinking of someone in the past I try to remember why it ended, and then it doesn't have such a positive tone in my mind, and stops me from reaching out to see what they are up to. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 When we're young we're still growing and changing and figuring things out and hopefully working out our own kinks that get in the way. If I could change anything and have a do-over on some guys when I was young, I'd have worn an uplift bra and made sure my legs were shaved, and I would have smiled more. I had a dark image, and that worked for me, but if I'd just smiled a little more at guys I didn't know yet, it would have made me much more approachable. Link to post Share on other sites
MajesticUnicorn Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Yeah I think about that sometimes. I think it's only human nature. I think about what went wrong with the most serious relationship I had, and wonder where I would be now if I would have behaved a little differently in the relationship. I think about that with first dates/brief flings as well sometimes too. In particular, one person I think I could have had great potential with, but we just met at the wrong time in my life. Obviously you shouldn't spend all your time dwelling on the past, but I think it's only natural to think about what went wrong. What really matters is how you act as a result of that. For me, assessing previous relationships and dates, what went wrong, what went right, etc. has helped A LOT. I use it as a learning experience. Try to turn your past mistakes or feelings reminiscing on the "one that got away" into something productive. One piece of advice my dad always told me was that the people and relationships you have in your life can either be a blessing or a lesson. I also think that sometimes they can be both. I try to remember that. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 I used to, but then an ex from 10 years prior came back. This was years ago when the internet was still newer and people weren't so easy to find. He was my one who got away. I discovered quickly that even with personal and life changes the old problems were still there under the surface. We still loved each other but we were still incompatible...period. After that I realized...people really do break up for a reason, or reasons. I know what could have been with past dates: struggling, then an eventual breakup. They just weren't for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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