Techmonkey Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I'm emotionally underdeveloped (I think). The last two years I was in a relationship with someone who despises sappy romantic gestures because she thinks they're shallow and immature. I'm 46 and have gone from an 18 year long relationship with someone who thought romantic gestures were the bee's knees to an 18 month relationship with someone who looks at relationships in cold hard facts. In the next few months after I sort myself out I'll be dating outside the pool of people I know for the first time since I was in my 20s. I'm curious if (in general) sappy "I'll lasso the moon for you." tendencies are undesirable in middle aged men. According to the person I've split from (who has had more partners than I), it's generally undesirable and very "high school". I don't use my 18 year relationship as a point of reference because we didn't change much since our 20s over the course of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Just keep being sappy, romantic you, and the right person will love it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnys93 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I'm the same way haha. It's just how I am. Eventually, someone will appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Techmonkey Posted February 20, 2017 Author Share Posted February 20, 2017 Just keep being sappy, romantic you, and the right person will love it. I definitely will. I gotta be me. Still curious what the general consensus is. Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Sappy and romantic only works for people who are sappy and romantic. If you are sappy and romantic seek sexual relationships with people who share your approach and avoid those that don't. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnys93 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 (edited) I definitely will. I gotta be me. Still curious what the general consensus is. I think personally there's a cute sappy and then there's unrealistic/you're talking out of your bumhole sappy. I think for some people it sounds fake because people promise them the moon and fail on delivering exactly that. Sweet nothings are beautiful, but they have to be timed correctly, otherwise they lose their effect. Just something to think about. The guy I'm currently dating appreciates it, but he's noted that I can become pretty mushy to the point of being cheesy. edit: Also like 5x5 said, some people simply aren't that. Edited February 20, 2017 by Ronnys93 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Over the years, I have yet to meet a SINGLE woman who did not enjoy, appreciate genuine romance. She is an outlier or severely jaded. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I think when you get down to that type of detail, it's very different with every person. I mean, one person might like a certain type of sappiness and be totally turned off by another. I think most people are a little leery of someone gushing over them too much. It makes you feel like this person is trying too hard, and in a man, too much can just seem weak. But dignified romantic touches and gestures are appreciated by nearly all women. I would say keep it age appropriate and dignified, but heartfelt and LIGHT. Don't go using emoges at your age. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I dig them...49 here. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 47 here and sappiness is not for me at all - never has been. Lasso the moon for me and I'll be thinking 'OK, that's OTT and I hope he will calm this kind of stuff down - it just sounds cheesy to me and means nothing. I dated briefly a couple of guys who insisted on making up pet names within days of meeting. I felt like a total twit when these guys would call out in public and use these silly (as they really were silly) names they had made up for me. Apparently I was cold and callous for cringing at this. One guy I had pre-warned not to send me anything for valentines day (just a card is great for me) and especially not flowers and not to my work because I don't like flowers - they're just going to die. So V-day came around and he sent me a massive bouquet of flowers in a bag/box type thing with water in the base. I walk to work a mile and a half each way (which he knew) and couldn't take them home - too heavy and totally impractical to carry. Genuine romance is different, considered/considerate and specific to the person - it's a whole different ball game and is appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnys93 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 47 here and sappiness is not for me at all - never has been. Lasso the moon for me and I'll be thinking 'OK, that's OTT and I hope he will calm this kind of stuff down - it just sounds cheesy to me and means nothing. I dated briefly a couple of guys who insisted on making up pet names within days of meeting. I felt like a total twit when these guys would call out in public and use these silly (as they really were silly) names they had made up for me. Apparently I was cold and callous for cringing at this. One guy I had pre-warned not to send me anything for valentines day (just a card is great for me) and especially not flowers and not to my work because I don't like flowers - they're just going to die. So V-day came around and he sent me a massive bouquet of flowers in a bag/box type thing with water in the base. I walk to work a mile and a half each way (which he knew) and couldn't take them home - too heavy and totally impractical to carry. Genuine romance is different, considered/considerate and specific to the person - it's a whole different ball game and is appreciated. I think the problem is mostly that it's relative to the person and what they view as "genuine romance" to me sappy is genuine romance. But I get the OTT stuff too can be impractical or even embarrassing if done wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Genuine romance is different, considered/considerate and specific to the person. If a person is not all that into you of course certain gestures would be “sappy” Also evaluating the relationship overall certain people can tell if the gestures are legit and truly genuine vs someone trying to "win" someone over. To some women washing the dishes or cleaning the house is "ROMANTIC" is the behavior in or out of character. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I am 51 and BF is 49. I've never had a sappy man in my life till I met my current BF. He is the sappiest man I've ever crossed and I love every minute of it. Sometimes I ask myself why I accepted to go a whole life without it. You are who you are, embrace it. There is a woman out there that will enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Genuine romance is different, considered/considerate and specific to the person - it's a whole different ball game and is appreciated. What is the difference between sappy and romantic? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I am 51 and BF is 49. I've never had a sappy man in my life till I met my current BF. He is the sappiest man I've ever crossed and I love every minute of it. Sometimes I ask myself why I accepted to go a whole life without it. You are who you are, embrace it. There is a woman out there that will enjoy it. It also depends upon the person saying it...whether he sounds like he's being genuine. My husband (now) sounds like he's reading from a script when he tries to tell me romantic things. By contrast, my ex-husband said THE sappiest, silliest things but sounded SO incredibly sincere. I could feel the sincerity. I miss that a lot. He could say the dumbest thing ever and it would make me feel happy because I knew how much he meant it. Link to post Share on other sites
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