Latino4Lyfe Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Hey everyone! I hope all is well here. I haven't really posted that much here in a while lol. In case anyone here is unfamiliar with me on Loveshack you can check out my origins here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/527798-ex-girlfriend-still-haunts-me-year-later-after-break-up Well now that we got that out of the way, let me go ahead and tell you guys of my current story Almost two months ago I met a girl online via instagram. We hit it off very well, texted and spoke to each other legit for the first month before finally meeting face to face. A little background on her, she is separated with children, and actively working towards making her divorce legit and final. From what she has told me, she endured a lot of negativity in her relationship and marriage to her ex and the aftermath of the break up was hard emotionally, financially...you name it. Myself, for those that are not familiar with me and have not read my previous thread, my last full relationship was a few years ago and have since then been focused on a better life in which has come with a job promotion, clean health, purchasing my first house and upgrading my car, basically improving. I figured it was time for me to start going back out there and seeing what life has in store for me in regards to finding a significant other and life brought me to her... Now so far, since meeting face to face and officially dating, we text each other throughout the day and talk to each other for hours late night after coming home from work. She has to use her time wisely due to work, taking care of her kids and family etc...which I completely understand and have been completely open about it. On the few dates that we have been on while getting to know each other, there is a good chemistry between us, we have openly talked about a lot of things in our life and have been completely honest and she genuinely appreciates me and has shown a lot of interest in me and I her, despite her somewhat hectic life right now. We have both agreed that while there is something there, that we will take it slow and build this before jumping into anything and becoming official. With my past relationship experience and her marriage, that is completely understandable, plus I'm also very patient lol. Now for what I'm concerned about right now...There has been a couple of times when her personal life gets complicated and she has these mini meltdowns. A couple of which she called me during the meltdown and I remained calm and did my best to talk her through it. However, there was one last night that I can't seem to shake...We were originally supposed to meet for a date yesterday, but she had to cancel due to a family event she had forgotten about. During that day, I texted her her good morning text as we usually do and normally we text each other throughout the day...yesterday there was no peep from her whatsoever. I figured she must have been busy with her family so I did not want to disturb her. I called her later at night, and no answer. She eventually video chatted me late night as I was getting ready for bed. When I answered, she seemed very upset, did not look at me directly and was just completely out of it. I kept asking her if she was ok? What was going on? She just kept shrugging her shoulders, holding back tears and trying to mouth words. The only thing I got out of her was "I don't feel like talking about it right now." She then said good night in a low voice and that she would talk to me tomorrow as usual. I wished her good night as well and let her know that if she has anything to talk about, she can rely on me. Today, I texted her Good morning text...nothing. Since that call last night, I've been concerned...What do you guys think? Thoughts, opinions, advice is appreciated. Thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Run away as fast as you can. IMO she is nowhere near ready to move on with her life from her present situation. She is broken....do not invite broken people into your life as it will pull you down. You have worked very hard to get where you are, don't mess it up by making a poor choice trying to build a relationship with someone who is unstable in her life. Please you cannot fix this, your only choice is to remove yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Latino4Lyfe Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Run away as fast as you can. IMO she is nowhere near ready to move on with her life from her present situation. She is broken....do not invite broken people into your life as it will pull you down. You have worked very hard to get where you are, don't mess it up by making a poor choice trying to build a relationship with someone who is unstable in her life. Please you cannot fix this, your only choice is to remove yourself. Thanks for your input and advice smackie . Yeah that's what I'm thinking too. Just back away before anything gets too serious and it leads to bigger issues. Just the fact that I'm already a little worried after only such little time with her is a concern for myself and I do not want to put myself and anything I have done in jeopardy. I'm thinking of just calling her tonight to see if she answers and hopefully be in better spirits to get some answers as to what that was last night if she does answer. If not, then that will be the end of it and I will not contact her again. Can't go through this nonsense again. If anyone else has any input, please feel free . Link to post Share on other sites
GoldSparkz Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 You say that your life has improved a lot since your last relationship, so well done for that. You should now only aim to date women who on a similar level ie women who have also achieved a lot in life and don't have this kind of baggage. I appreciate that we all have baggage, but this lady seems to be dealing with dramas that you don't need in your life, especially as you're on an upward path. I would begin to pull away and leave her to deal with her issues. You are not a charity, there to support everyone through their issues. Continue to focus on your own self improvements. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Latino4Lyfe Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Hey everyone, So just thought I would provide an update. Since I last posted the girl I was talking to had called me later that night from the day I posted and apologized for her behavior. She had explained in detail what had happened that day that caused her to be so upset(health issues with a family member). I explained to her that she does not need to hide or shut me out of anything as doing that can cause these types of issues to happen. She understood and then asked if we were still good for seeing each other this weekend on Sunday(this weekend that just passed) as I had planned on taking her out to dinner and Ringling Bros. I told her I was up for it if she was, she was excited. Everything seemed back to normal up until Saturday. Saturday, she called me to let me know that her cousin was in town and was going to take her out to dinner to catch up. Didn't see any issues, so all was good. Here comes Sunday...I text her and call her to let her know I'm getting ready and about go drive out to pick her up. No answer...Didn't get a reply until I start driving out that she cancels on me because she was completely hung over from Saturday night and did not get home until 7 in the morning. I tried calling her to see what the hell that was and she wouldn't answer, just kept texting back and apologizing and that she feels bad. I just went and shut my phone off for the rest of the day/night. Here is yesterday...I turned my phone on and 5 minutes after, she calls me asks me to PLEASE see her during her lunch break and that she would explain everything. I was very hesitant but I eventually caved. I drive over to her job and lo behold, she's not there! I then call her up and she says she is down the street, that she ended up calling out at the last minute because she has still not recovered from her hang over. I drive further down and see her and she just looked completely out of it. She was very distant and looked like she did not want to be there or really anywhere. I was already angry and disappointed and by looking at this just made me feel worse. As soon I was done with lunch, I just said "Ok, take care of yourself" and just drove straight back home. I have not called her nor texted her since...No good night/morning texts...I am just really disgusted right now. I'm definitely pulling away, this is doing nothing but giving me flashbacks to the past and I'm doing all I can to move forward. I was really hoping despite the challenges that are there(her getting a divorce and sole custody of the kids, re-establishing her life after all of that) that she would actually buckle down and be serious about doing all of that, but just by those actions alone shows that she is not ready and I refuse to go through this again. Better to leave now before it got serious. What do you guys think? Thoughts and advice appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldSparkz Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 this is doing nothing but giving me flashbacks to the past and I'm doing all I can to move forward. This lady has some serious issues that existed long before you came on to the scene. Possibly drug or alcohol related issues given the fact that she's mostly out of it when you speak to her. I just find her behaviour alarming and odd. I'm glad you're walking away and refuse to be part of her games. Don't worry about the fact that you gave her too many chances. I find sometimes you have to get plenty of evidence that the person isn't for you before you walk away. I would only aim to date women who have both feet on the ground from now on. Leave this woman and her dramas in the past! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Latino4Lyfe Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Thank you Goldsparkz, I know after what she did on Sunday, I should have just cut contact right then and there, but part of me did want to hear what she wanted to say Monday just if by any chance this could have been resolved. Unfortunately I was wrong. She has been on my mind all day today. Not in a heartbroken way, but more of just disappointment . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Latino4Lyfe Posted February 22, 2017 Author Share Posted February 22, 2017 Hey guys, so yeah it's been two days now since I stopped talking to this girl and yeah there has been no contact whatsoever from myself and her. Right now, I'm just sitting here and everything that happened this past weekend is still running through my head. I'm still angry and upset about everything, but now I feel more concerned. Does anyone have any advice? I know overall I did the right thing, but just pretty much accepting it and not feeling like crap . Link to post Share on other sites
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