Do l persist or what ?

[Chilli]

Hi people , new here, hope everyone's well.

 

l met a lady on a date site about a wk and1/2 ago.

She answered my first email straight away and we chatted.

Next day l asked about giving her a call and gave her my number so that if she likes she could just text me when it's a good time.

Same again , text me that night and we chatted back and forth awhile. She's got no reason at all to be desperate if that's what your thinking she's very nice looking and was saying she's met a few guys on the site but just really liked stuff about me.

Next night l phoned her and we talked a few hours. She was really nice and we clicked really well but not only, we also had a lot of very unusual things and thoughts , views , in common too, which are damn hard to find with people like us .

l was really pleased to have found her and was pretty sure she was too and then she'd always answered straight away and stuff.

Said l'd call her next on Wed night if that was ok , 2 nights away, and she said yeah that'd be nice.

 

Wed night text her earlier and asked what's a good time but she had to work in the end and apologized , she works nights,on call.

But said she'd text me tomorrow night as she should be off.

Haven't been able to catch her since yet for another call, our first and only call yet was a week ago now.

She's text she's had her kids , she's divorced, she also worked some nights.

l mean she still seems keen, in a dignified sorta way and always answers a text straight away and if she can't make it says she'll text me back when it's a good time. But once or twice she hasn't gotten back to me now or text me first it's just been answering mine apart from that first one.

 

So anyway on the last one she didn't get back to me so l left it a few days and then today l thought l'll just send her a hello and that l'd still love to talk more and hopefully meet up but if she's not into it then that's ok .

She text back straight away again and apologized, she'd been called into work a lot ir had the kids and she'll text me when she's free. Then she said sorry again.

l text beck and said ahh good that'd be nice , no worries , she replied with a thanks.

 

l mean she sounds keen don't you think , even though she has missed a couple of get back to me's , she's been pretty busy though.

Or is she just being polite and maybe lost interest ?

[Gaeta]

If she cannot find time to reply to your text or find time to have a first meeting with you then how is she gonna have time to date you?

 

She is not that interested or she is seeing someone else. Go to next.

[smackie9]

I agree....if it gets this difficult to get a date, you ain't got time to be waitin when there are plenty of other ladies to meet. Always have a few on the go, never invest so heavily in someone you haven't met yet.

[GoldSparkz]

It sounds to me like she doesn't want to put all her eggs into one basket and may possibly be dating other guys. You mentioned that she seems to be quite popular online and after initially chatting back and forth, the contact has slowed down significantly. Plus she continues to respond to your texts which most people wouldn't do if they were interested. So perhaps she is speaking to other guys and keeping you as an option in case it doesn't work out with another one of her suitors.

 

If I were you, I would date other women at this point and not continue to pursue this lady. She may bounce back or may not, who knows. But definitely keep your options open. The right lady will come at a time that is right for both you and her.

[Chilli]

Thanks very much for the thoughts people appreciated.

Still nothing back form her since the reply from my last message, though it has only been a day.

But yeah, l mean if your keen then how long does a short text take, sorry l've been so busy or something bla bla.

 

Here's the thing though. Well for one , l'm not only insanely attracted to her, which is pretty rare on a date site for me but we also had so much in common and again pretty rare on a date site for me well, never as yet tbh actually, before her.

 

But the thing with her is, nah she's not one of these mad dater types not by a long shot, sorry if l gave that impression.

The tricky part is that she's actually been single 8yrs. She hasn't slept with anyone so when l say she's met other guys , she's been on the site 4yrs or so , and only met 2 or 3 guys, that's it, she told me all about each and just a coffee, no dates as such and nothings gone any further with anyone.

She's had her kids you see, so although she has browsed a little hasn't done much which l checked and what she says adds up, she hardly even goes on the site at all and she hasn't been on it since we met, l checked that last night.

She says she hasn't been really looking bc she's had her kids till and couldn't get involved anyway. But just recently the last one basically moved out and they do still both come home but only a few days a wk.

 

So that;s a bit more of the picture.

But l guess whatever the picture, although she's got in touch straight away at the start and still answers in seconds now, l do agree she should be in touch more and first as well sometimes or offering a time l suppose.

 

But just one little long shot l'd like to throw out there on that.

Do you think it really could just be that between her kids coming and going and her work going crazy just lately , that could actually be it.?

Or am l dreaming ?

 

There was one other thing for anyone in the 40's bracket , have you noticed some of the girls actually get stuck in their singlehood and ways, they would sorta love to meet someone finally but when it pops up they start to back peddle.

Could that be her ?

Edited February 13, 2017 by Chilli

[Gaeta]

There was one other thing for anyone in the 40's bracket , have you noticed some of the girls actually get stuck in their singlehood and ways, they would sorta love to meet someone finally but when it pops up they start to back peddle.

Could that be her ?

 

I am 50 yr. I was single from 40 to 50. When I met my BF I was ready to be in a relationship so I was happy to say good bye to my singlehood and everything that comes with singlehood.

 

It does not matter what are this woman's reasons. She is not available, period. Move on to next.

[Larryville]

If she cannot find time to reply to your text or find time to have a first meeting with you then how is she gonna have time to date you?

 

never invest so heavily in someone you haven't met yet.

 

OP do have any idea how many times your exact scenario plays out every day, anyone who is OLDing has experienced this countless times.

This question is not only for OP but any dude. If you think this woman…

 

she's very nice looking and was saying she's met a few guys on the site but just really liked stuff about me.

Is all that…. I don’t know what site you use but imagine how many dudes are likely sending her emails in a 100 mile radius. I’ve said before this is a numbers game.

 

What makes you special?

 

It sounds to me like she doesn't want to put all her eggs into one basket and may possibly be dating other guys.

 

Exactly, virtually all woman will do this, women with options… unless she looks jacked up!

You are one of many and clearly not worthy of "special" attention.

[Mi7522]

How old is she and her kids? Maybe she is just really busy with work and her kids

[Gaeta]

But just recently the last one basically moved out and they do still both come home but only a few days a wk.

So she is not busy anymore, she used to be busy, now her last kid moved out of the house so she has all for her time.

 

 

Do you think it really could just be that between her kids coming and going and her work going crazy just lately , that could actually be it.?Or am l dreaming ?

Most of us have crazy work and kids coming and going. It's called life.

[WaitingForBardot]

I agree....if it gets this difficult to get a date, you ain't got time to be waitin when there are plenty of other ladies to meet. Always have a few on the go, never invest so heavily in someone you haven't met yet.

I'd take this a step further and say never invest in someone you haven't met, at all.

 

Easier said than done for many people, I know, but still, nothing matters until you've met IRL.

[Erik30]

Try to set up a date as soon as possible. Texting and calling doesn't mean that much. Some people just like the attention

[Chilli]

Yeah must admit, my last post did sound like l'm clutching at straws.

l'd love to set up a meet but really , it is about time she started contacted me l think if it's gonna go any further.

 

She's 44 her kids are 17 and 20 and now when they do come home wkends she likes to make the most of it. She works in a restaurant on call , says it's been ballistic lately because they're short of staff and she's always exhausted.

Edited February 13, 2017 by Chilli

[Chilli]

I am 50 yr. I was single from 40 to 50. When I met my BF I was ready to be in a relationship so I was happy to say good bye to my singlehood and everything that comes with singlehood.

 

It does not matter what are this woman's reasons. She is not available, period. Move on to next.

 

Nah not all Gaeta most like you are willing to bite the bullet. But def' some yaknow, they've even talked to me about it and admitted it, and not love interests just some l've met.

But that was just a thought with her going on convos, not saying it's so but it did cross my mind with some things about her.

She has zero confidence too, even asked me why the hell l'd be interested in "her", she said other stuff like that too.

Anyway , nothing back from her , looks like a dead duck

 

Good for you though l'm happy for ya.

Edited February 14, 2017 by Chilli

[Chilli]

Well, thought l'd drop in with an update and ummm, a twist.

 

No word at all though from date site girl.

So weird all of that stuff though , just in the way that she was with me and about us .

Doesn't make sense really.

 

At any rate , it doesn't really matter now l guess it's curiosity more than anything. Butttttt, there's been a twist.

l've been seeing someone 12mths now but it's been mostly LD so far though. Bur, we'd had some news and a set back with her work it and it was gonna be another 2yrs yet until either of us could move.

So , we broke for a little while there.

Anyway , we're back together.

 

l still had my date site though you see it just wasn;t active though you see and when we'd broke up l just went in for a little look around really wondering wtf to do next. Next minute silly me finds that girl and sends her and email.

l shouldn't have even gone back into it really though , too soon l admit.

But anyway , it's beautiful to be back with LD and l might start a new thread about us instead and what's been going on.

 

Thanks for all help, appreciated.

Edited February 17, 2017 by Chilli

[Chilli]

Well, thought l'd drop in with an update and ummm, a twist.

 

No word at all though from date site girl.

So weird all of that stuff though , just in the way that she was with me and about us .

Doesn't make sense really.

 

At any rate , it doesn't really matter now l guess it's curiosity more than anything. Butttttt, there's been a twist.

l was seeing someone 12mths now, it's mostly LD so far though you see and we'd had some news and a set back with her work which meant it was gonna have to stay LD for another 2yrs yet until either of us could move.

So , we broke for a little while there and because l still had my date site it just wasn;t active, l only went in for a little look around really just wondering wtf to do next really. Next minute silly me finds that girl, sends her an email and that went from there.

But , me and LD are back together now so although she's neither here nor there anymore now , can't help but wonder just wth it is about people on date sites non the less.

 

But anyway , it's beautiful to be back with her and l might start a new thread about us and what's been going on instead.

 

Thanks for all help, appreciated.

Edited February 17, 2017 by Chilli

[coolheadal]

Hi people , new here, hope everyone's well.

 

l met a lady on a date site about a wk and1/2 ago.

She answered my first email straight away and we chatted.

Next day l asked about giving her a call and gave her my number so that if she likes she could just text me when it's a good time.

Same again , text me that night and we chatted back and forth awhile. She's got no reason at all to be desperate if that's what your thinking she's very nice looking and was saying she's met a few guys on the site but just really liked stuff about me.

Next night l phoned her and we talked a few hours. She was really nice and we clicked really well but not only, we also had a lot of very unusual things and thoughts , views , in common too, which are damn hard to find with people like us .

l was really pleased to have found her and was pretty sure she was too and then she'd always answered straight away and stuff.

Said l'd call her next on Wed night if that was ok , 2 nights away, and she said yeah that'd be nice.

 

Wed night text her earlier and asked what's a good time but she had to work in the end and apologized , she works nights,on call.

But said she'd text me tomorrow night as she should be off.

Haven't been able to catch her since yet for another call, our first and only call yet was a week ago now.

She's text she's had her kids , she's divorced, she also worked some nights.

l mean she still seems keen, in a dignified sorta way and always answers a text straight away and if she can't make it says she'll text me back when it's a good time. But once or twice she hasn't gotten back to me now or text me first it's just been answering mine apart from that first one.

 

So anyway on the last one she didn't get back to me so l left it a few days and then today l thought l'll just send her a hello and that l'd still love to talk more and hopefully meet up but if she's not into it then that's ok .

She text back straight away again and apologized, she'd been called into work a lot ir had the kids and she'll text me when she's free. Then she said sorry again.

l text beck and said ahh good that'd be nice , no worries , she replied with a thanks.

 

l mean she sounds keen don't you think , even though she has missed a couple of get back to me's , she's been pretty busy though.

Or is she just being polite and maybe lost interest ?

 

Frankly speaking she's a mom she has kids she going to be busy. You are not No.#1 on the list you have to wait the kids come first and then her then you. So you do get a quick response because she's digging you now at the moment when she contacts you. Just be patient there is not rush in this. If you can't be patient then put her to one side and move on to the next.

[Chilli]

Sorry about the double, trying to edit somehow wound up with 2..

[Joga_31]

Hi people , new here, hope everyone's well.

 

l met a lady on a date site about a wk and1/2 ago.

She answered my first email straight away and we chatted.

Next day l asked about giving her a call and gave her my number so that if she likes she could just text me when it's a good time.

Same again , text me that night and we chatted back and forth awhile. She's got no reason at all to be desperate if that's what your thinking she's very nice looking and was saying she's met a few guys on the site but just really liked stuff about me.

Next night l phoned her and we talked a few hours. She was really nice and we clicked really well but not only, we also had a lot of very unusual things and thoughts , views , in common too, which are damn hard to find with people like us .

l was really pleased to have found her and was pretty sure she was too and then she'd always answered straight away and stuff.

Said l'd call her next on Wed night if that was ok , 2 nights away, and she said yeah that'd be nice.

 

Wed night text her earlier and asked what's a good time but she had to work in the end and apologized , she works nights,on call.

But said she'd text me tomorrow night as she should be off.

Haven't been able to catch her since yet for another call, our first and only call yet was a week ago now.

She's text she's had her kids , she's divorced, she also worked some nights.

l mean she still seems keen, in a dignified sorta way and always answers a text straight away and if she can't make it says she'll text me back when it's a good time. But once or twice she hasn't gotten back to me now or text me first it's just been answering mine apart from that first one.

 

So anyway on the last one she didn't get back to me so l left it a few days and then today l thought l'll just send her a hello and that l'd still love to talk more and hopefully meet up but if she's not into it then that's ok .

She text back straight away again and apologized, she'd been called into work a lot ir had the kids and she'll text me when she's free. Then she said sorry again.

l text beck and said ahh good that'd be nice , no worries , she replied with a thanks.

 

l mean she sounds keen don't you think , even though she has missed a couple of get back to me's , she's been pretty busy though.

Or is she just being polite and maybe lost interest ?

 

set up an exact date and time for when you can meet.

otherwise you are just wasting time,mystery and charm.

 

in the beginning the only time you should really be talking is setting up dates. leave the chit-chat for when you meet her.

[Joga_31]

Frankly speaking she's a mom she has kids she going to be busy. You are not No.#1 on the list you have to wait the kids come first and then her then you. So you do get a quick response because she's digging you now at the moment when she contacts you. Just be patient there is not rush in this. If you can't be patient then put her to one side and move on to the next.

 

I also agree with this too.

[Chilli]

Thanks very much for those tips but, you may have missed it ,l'm back with my GF.

 

Strangest thing though , l would have told this girl that of course , but l went in to close my date site down bc l'm back with gf but, low and behold this one l've asked about right here had removed me from contacts anyway..

 

How bizarre though considering the way we got along and things in common , her sayng she'd love to meet.

looked at the date and she removed me 2 days after saying that----- WTF !

On that date she'd removed me, she'd actually texted me the night after that , again , WTF.

 

l know it doesn't matter now as back with gf anyway but the mystery of date site antics just baffles me - and this girl.

 

There was one thing. Would this have done it ?The night before she removed me, l text her and she said she'd had a long night at work and was crashing right then.

 

l text back and said oh ok , no worries , "filthy dreams"

Umm , big deal , my gf loves that.

 

But would "filthy dreams" , just in fun, had made her bolt.?

Edited February 21, 2017 by Chilli