miss2017 Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 (edited) I've met this guy at a small gym, he is one of the group class instructors there. He seems really nice and genuine, and I feel attracted to him. I sense he is attracted to me too. Because of the nature of his job, we only talk briefly and about the class. There's no opportunity to talk more time or more personal. I do have a few people from the gym in my Facebook, clients and also some of the other instructors. Me and him are also both on the same Facebook gym page and group. So, I was thinking in sending him an invite to connect on Facebook to open a door of communication between us besides the gym. Because I believe that even if he was into me, he wouldn't approach me or ask me out with me being a client and not even knowing if I am into him as well. So, is this a good idea to do? The way I see it is: if he accepts and he's into me, he will take the opportunity to do something else since I opened a door for him. If he's not into me, he'll be just one more connection on Facebook and that's it. And if he doesn't accept my invite, then well, no comments. Either way, I feel is a safe way of trying to open a door without being too blunt. Edited January 19, 2017 by miss2017 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 Facebook means nothing. You're not interested in the other instructors that you already have on it as friends right? Try flirting with him in person Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss2017 Posted January 19, 2017 Author Share Posted January 19, 2017 No I am not interested in the other instructors. Because Facebook means nothing is a safe way of opening a communication channel. I cannot flirt with him in person because it's a small gym, lots of people around that would hear me and I don't want to put him in a awkward position at the place he works. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 No I am not interested in the other instructors. Because Facebook means nothing is a safe way of opening a communication channel. I cannot flirt with him in person because it's a small gym, lots of people around that would hear me and I don't want to put him in a awkward position at the place he works. I know you're not into those other guys, I just said that to point out being friends on Facebook isn't a sign of romantic interest, so he wouldn't think much of it. Maybe you can send him a message, like getting a drink after class? Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss2017 Posted January 19, 2017 Author Share Posted January 19, 2017 I know, I just said that to point out being friends on Facebook isn't a sign of romantic interest, so he wouldn't think much of it. Maybe you can send him a message, getting a drink after class? I don't have his phone number and I'm not close enough to him to ask to get a drink after class. Also, I want to do things in a more softer way, not letting him think I am hitting on him like many other women in the gym probably do that are looking after just one thing. I am not like that. I know that adding on Facebook isn't a sign of romantic interest per se, but if the person you're attracted to adds you on Facebook, wouldn't you take the opportunity to step up and do something, even if it's just say hi on the chat? Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 I guess you could try to take it slow, but there's always a chance some other girl swoops in. You can add a message to the friend request, see if that starts a conversation. If he keeps it short and never reaches out after that, he's probably not that interested.. And some subtle flirting wouldn't hurt Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss2017 Posted January 19, 2017 Author Share Posted January 19, 2017 I guess you could try to take it slow, but there's always a chance some other girl swoops in. You can add a message to the friend request, see if that starts a conversation. If he keeps it short and never reaches out after that, he's probably not that interested.. And some subtle flirting wouldn't hurt If other girl swoops in, it's because we're not meant for each other and he's not the right man for me. In that case, I say a big fat thank you to the girl and will stay open to right man. Simple. Yes I prefer to take it slow. And you're true, if he keeps it short and never reaches out after that, he's probably not that interested. In that case, I can move on. But, if he is into me, he has an open door of opportunity to do something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 No I am not interested in the other instructors. Because Facebook means nothing is a safe way of opening a communication channel. I cannot flirt with him in person because it's a small gym, lots of people around that would hear me and I don't want to put him in a awkward position at the place he works. You can flirt in silence. You look at him straight in the eyes and smile. Do it often, he'll get the message. If he's interested after that you will know. Link to post Share on other sites
carolann Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 I don't see any harm in adding him especially since you feel that there may be some interest on his part. Just don't like/comment on everything right off the bat. Yeah, Facebook doesn't mean anything but eh.... On a personal note.....I added a crush from work a little over 4 years ago. I was nervous about it....I didn't want to seem creepy. I really liked him and I wanted to get to know him and since we couldn't interact as much at work as I would like (we were in different departments). Facebook was a good way to test the waters so to speak. It worked for me. He started messaging me, got my number, we started dating...... We're celebrating out first wedding anniversary in a couple of months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss2017 Posted January 19, 2017 Author Share Posted January 19, 2017 I don't see any harm in adding him especially since you feel that there may be some interest on his part. Just don't like/comment on everything right off the bat. Yeah, Facebook doesn't mean anything but eh.... On a personal note.....I added a crush from work a little over 4 years ago. I was nervous about it....I didn't want to seem creepy. I really liked him and I wanted to get to know him and since we couldn't interact as much at work as I would like (we were in different departments). Facebook was a good way to test the waters so to speak. It worked for me. He started messaging me, got my number, we started dating...... We're celebrating out first wedding anniversary in a couple of months. Oh WOW! Congratulations then! You really are encouraging me to just go for it and add him! I like things like that... simple and genuine! I do have the same issue as you. It's a small local gym, there's no way to interact more than just a few words and all related to the class. Always lots of other people around as well. And I have a feeling that he is a serious guy and won't make any move on a client of the gym even without knowing if I am attracted too. I think the same as you, Facebook can be a good way of testing the waters and since I am going to his gym class, we do have friends in common on Facebook and are on the same page from the gym on Facebook, it's not creepy. I believe that if he's into me, he will be happy I add him and will take it as an opportunity to do something. If he doesn't, well, at least I know and can move on instead of having a crush for weeks or months! Thank you, I'm adding him today! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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