Laidbackguy18 Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I was a bit down lately. After Christmas I got dumped by my boyfriend. And I was just kind of down about it. And I had like a few sexual encounters with a friend. First time I was actually a little drunk. I always was attracted to them. I've been friends with them a long time. And our relationship was just as friends up until a few weeks ago. They already have had a boyfriend for a year now and he knows nothing about this. And honestly my friend doesnt seem to date guys like me anyhow and I don't see how our friendship could be anything on that level. It was clearly just a fling thing which I know was wrong. And I have no interest in doing this again. My ex is actually talking to me again and that's all I really care about. But I sometimes feel a little awkward about talking about my relationship with my ex-boyfriend or their relationship I guess because I feel guilty about it. I've never cheated on anyone and I've never helped anyone cheated before this. I've always tried to be honest. And I know I didnt make any commitment to their boyfriend or anything. I also feel somehow wrong about sleeping with someone else right after being dumped. Like usually I wait about a month before I am like adjusting to being single. Plus the way things are its like it could be an on and off relationship and thats why I give it time usually. I didnt this time and now I just kind of resent it. And I can't get those encounters really out of my mind. Its kind of always been a fantasy I've always dreamed about and now that its happened our friendship is just a little different. Because in a sense I have always longed to be friends with benefits. So there's that too. Idk is our relationship as friends now inappropriate? I would never cheat if I got back with my boyfriend. Advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Laidbackguy18 Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 At the same time I don't want to lose friendship we've been friends for 12 years. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkPampies Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Talk to him about it. If you're both willing to sweep that sexual encounter under the rug, then there's no reason why you can't remain friends. Of course it will be abbot awkward for a bit, but in time it should return to normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 It all depends. I had sex with a friend a few times and remained friends. It wasn't a mistake it was just sexual release for both of us. We never dated and never even thought about dating. The only possible awkwardness is when I hang out with her and her current boyfriend or she hangs out with me and my current girlfriend. For example, I mad a joke about having a small dick with my friend there with her new boyfriend and me there with my new girlfriend. My friend laughed way too much and gave me that you are so full of **** look. I could imagine our SO's afterwards asking how she knew how big my dick was. We didn't get asked. I was probably just being hypersensitive. Your situation is more delicate than mine since there was cheating involved and you might be getting back together with your SO. If it ever comes out it will likely destroy one or both relationships and perhaps kill the friendship too. The most that could happen in my case is being asked not to spend time with my friend because one of the SO's was insecure about it. My gut says: If the person you cheated with wants to save the relationship the friendship should probably end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Laidbackguy18 Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 Talk to him about it. If you're both willing to sweep that sexual encounter under the rug, then there's no reason why you can't remain friends. Of course it will be abbot awkward for a bit, but in time it should return to normal. I know my friend doesnt want anything mode out of the encounters and they understand I wouldn't so that now. I realized I actually have really intense feelings for my exboyfriend I never have felt with anyone else I could agine spending my life with him until the end. I don't feel that way for my friend I do care about them but we could never be lovers this is understood both ways. My friend anyway tends to date tall muscular ultra masculine straight guys that usually are like a lot older. Its kind of like yin and yang thing. And you know opposites attract. We're friends because we've always been very much alike. There's no way that it could turn into anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Laidbackguy18 Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 It all depends. I had sex with a friend a few times and remained friends. It wasn't a mistake it was just sexual release for both of us. We never dated and never even thought about dating. The only possible awkwardness is when I hang out with her and her current boyfriend or she hangs out with me and my current girlfriend. For example, I mad a joke about having a small dick with my friend there with her new boyfriend and me there with my new girlfriend. My friend laughed way too much and gave me that you are so full of **** look. I could imagine our SO's afterwards asking how she knew how big my dick was. We didn't get asked. I was probably just being hypersensitive. Your situation is more delicate than mine since there was cheating involved and you might be getting back together with your SO. If it ever comes out it will likely destroy one or both relationships and perhaps kill the friendship too. The most that could happen in my case is being asked not to spend time with my friend because one of the SO's was insecure about it. My gut says: If the person you cheated with wants to save the relationship the friendship should probably end. Yeah its weird sometimes because we're very close friends I wouldn't want my ex if we were to get back together to feel uncomfortable I have no interest in my friend in comparison to my ex. I don't think it will be found out. Though. No one knows about this besides my friend and I. My friend and their boyfriend is pretty lowkey because their parents don't like that he's older and successful etc... They complains sometimes that he wants to settle down too fast etc.... And how he's the only one they've been with and stuff. He's older so he's more traditional type I guess. Which they are more progressive. Outside of that they seem to be very happy with him. I wouldn't be surprised if they got engaged a couple years from now. They act like a married couple. I am happy for them. They always talk about him and he's someone they love respect look upto admire etc... They talk about him being the one. They're definitely meant for each other. I think the fling was just like you said a sexual release thing on their end. For me it was a sexual fantasy ive always had and I had a hard week with my boyfriend it was a moment of weakness. I never cheated on my boyfriend hed dumped me by the time i was at all considering my best friend in a sexual sense. And plus I wouldn't ever sabotage their relationship. There's no relationship I want with them. I just want my boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Laidbackguy18 Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 I do t think they are any distraction to any relationship I'd have though. In fact they have been supportive through my ups and downs with partners I've had. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Laidbackguy18 Posted January 19, 2017 Author Share Posted January 19, 2017 Yeah today my exbf said he wants to take it slow.so we're back on. Link to post Share on other sites
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