Hispanic Girls vs. White Girls (Emotional Confusion)
I need some advice concerning interracial dating. I would like to provide a brief dating history, along with some family background of both myself, and the women I've dated. I feel this is relevant to the problem I am currently having.
I live in San Antonio, TX. My mother's grandparents were immigrants from France, Holland, and England. My father's grandparents were immigrants from Sweden, mostly. When I was nineteen and in college, I started dating a younger girl (I'll call her Jessica.) She was seventeen. Jessica's grandparents were both immigrants from Mexico.
When that relationship ended, I started dating a girl (I'll call her Linda) who was a freshman in college. Her whole family was from Ecuador, but her father died tragically, and her mother remarried an American, so they all moved here. Her father's parents were from Spain, and England. I think that Linda's mother was a native of Ecuador.
A year ago, I broke up with Linda, because I realized that I had serious feelings for another girl. (I'll call her Tina.) Tina is a very cute blonde girl with blue eyes. I think it's safe to say that her family is from Northern Europe.
Unfortunately, that relationship never got off the ground. Since then I dated two other girls, but only briefly. One white chick, and another chick from Puerto Rico.
I have noticed that every one of my relationships with women who had some kind of Latin heritage were very sexually charged. But most of the few relationships that I have had with white girls, while fleeting, still seemed to be much more emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually deep.
This fact leads me to question if I am lacking some fundamental communication or social skill to hook up with white women. I'm sorry to be crass here, or whatever, but that's basically what my problem seems to come down to.
I've lived here in San Antonio now for fifteen years, that's my entire adult life. I live in an area of the United States that is on the fringes of what could be called, "White America." Before you judge me for using racist terminology, and broad generalizations and whatnot, please hear me out. If I fly to Denver, or to Dallas, or to Seattle, San Francisco or Atlanta, I see an obvious and marked difference between these major cities, and San Antonio. Those other cities, for all intents and purposes, are all white. San Antonio is demographically over 50% Hispanic. Heck, even if I drive 70 miles north to Austin, I notice a significant change in the racial demography.
Because I live in this area of the US, I believe that I have had much less chance to be socialized with girls who have similar ethnic backgrounds as myself. This means that I am not as successful in my relationships with white girls as I am in my relationships with Hispanic girls. Why is this? Is it because there is a fundamental difference in the way that white women want to be approached by men, from the way that Hispanic women want to be approached by men? I believe that there is.
Am I racist for believing this? I don't think that I am. In any case, I have come to the realization that, except for flings and whatnot, I want to date white girls exclusively from now on. Why? Because, for one thing, I've noticed that the feelings I seem to have for the Hispanic girls are not as strong as the feelings that I've had for white girls.
So, does anyone have any feedback on this issue? I hope I've explained my feelings sufficiently.
I've noticed that the feelings I seem to have for the Hispanic girls are not as strong as the feelings that I've had for white girls.
Then date white girls. I'm not quite completely sure what you're asking but all I have to say is: Instead of looking at a girls skin, you should be looking at what's inside her heart and inside her mind.
son, you've just made my day ... and a little homesick (I grew up just outside SA, and someday hope to go back for good!)
one of the men I work with also is from San Antonio, and he "gets" the whole SA culture -- he summed it up as "San Antonio is a lifestyle," and I think that pretty much hits it on the head. With the high ratio of Hispanics and a very strong "hometown" feel, it's very hard to see it as a city of one million-plus. And unless you've lived San Antonio, it's very hard to comprehend the differences between it and other large cities.
that said, I honestly cannot say that you're racist, just maybe looking for something outside of what you've experienced, i.e., dating a non-Hispanic. However, if you stick around SA or plan to live there the rest of your life, you've got to pretty much resign yourself to the whole mentality of the place. First, the chances of meeting someone non-Hispanic aren't as great as if you lived in another Texas city, because of the intermarriage thing. Second, the Hispanic culture is just so prevalent there, it just meshes into real life experiences that you cannot honestly tell where culture A ends and B begins (think Taco Cabana, Fiesta, the missions, the laid-back attitude, etc).
my only question for you is that if you do meet a woman who meets your ideals, will you be able to forfeit some of the spice you've experienced in relationships (not just the sex, but the other important interpersonal stuff) with Hispanic females? Again, it's not just a characteristic, but a lifestyle – the passion carries over into every aspect of our lives.
I married a gringo (non-Hispanic) and it's been an interesting experience. For me, because he's a white-bread Alabama boy; for him, it's a whole other life being married into a Hispanic family. I can't answer for him whether it's been good, but I can tell you that he's definitely had his eyes opened about life itself!!!!
hope this helps some ... now go to TC and chow down a couple of fajita tacos con guacamole y pico de gallo, just for me
Location: Heaven won't take me, and hell's afraid I'll take over
Isn't it possible that the young ladies race had nothing to do with how connected or disconnected you felt with them.. but rather it wasn't a good match emotionally, or mentally that caused the issues and not race?
I am someone who does think it isn't okay to generalize about who people are or what they may or may not be like based on race... do I believe that different backgrounds can cause some friction... yes I do but that could happen even between 2 people of the same race but different upbringings...
Re: Hispanic Girls vs. White Girls (Emotional Confusion)
Originally posted by krizykronz
In any case, I have come to the realization that, except for flings and whatnot, I want to date white girls exclusively from now on. Why? Because, for one thing, I've noticed that the feelings I seem to have for the Hispanic girls are not as strong as the feelings that I've had for white girls.
So, does anyone have any feedback on this issue? I hope I've explained my feelings sufficiently.
Then date white girls,
My 2 cents? I think it's a personal issue, more than like, all latino females are sexually charged but unable to form deep emotional bonds with white boys; and all white females are more capable of having deeper relationships.
Re: Re: Hispanic Girls vs. White Girls (Emotional Confusion)
Originally posted by blind_otter
I think it's a personal issue, more than like, all latino females are sexually charged but unable to form deep emotional bonds with white boys; and all white females are more capable of having deeper relationships.
So, B_O... then the optimal woman would be half latino and half european. She would be a sexual dynamo who could develop deeper bonds.
I agree with you and blind_otter that hispanic girls are sexually charged and tend to have sexual instead of intellectual relationships.
That's why they would rather have babies than a higher education. Maybe you, along with most white men, do not find this to be a fulfilling type of relationship and would rather have the deeper challenging communication with white women.
White women who are also intellectual and highly educated tend to be more sexual than the hispanic (and non educated white) chics because they are not only smart but are comfortable with their bodies and know how to use them to please not only the man but themselves too, along with the smarts to go along, which is a turn on. They are the best of both worlds and can be too much to handle so watch out.
Most men are threatened by these type of women and these women know it and are careful to pick the right man who can take them on. They will not expose their sexuality until they form a very very deep trust in the man and also they might put a little front acting dumb to test the water because men don't like women who are smarter and more sexual than them and so these women save all they've got for the right man who can appreciate all of their qualities.
They are not the puppet sexual toys found in asian and hispanics that men who are not intellectual would rather date those types (just take a look at the type of white/black/brown man on the arm of an asian or hispanic - he is not the wealthy intellectual businessman but the sucker type who is into sex and a cheap thrill with a desperate girl raised to be sexual to please men.
Ask hispanic girls about world politics and she will try to flaunt her boobs to take the attention off of non-sex or non-frivilous topic.
can't answer for the "more emotionally and spiritually" comparison, but why our white sisters are ahead of us when it comes to intellect/education is that Anglos don't think twice about encouraging their daughters to continue their education – for Hispanic daughters, the emphasis is on marriage and family, and a college career is often discouraged.
from personal experience, I think it's because our parents seem to think we need to be in a relationship where someone will care for us, or rather, so that they'll know someone will take care of us. A self-sufficient Hispanic female is not the norm, even among younger generations – girls pretty much have huge fight before them because they're bucking tradition. I know my dad was NOT happy about my not wanting to get married right out of high school like my sisters did, and he seemed to ignore the fact I was getting a college education to realize my goal of becoming a newspaper reporter.
but damn! The day I graduated from college -- with a job as a cub reporter lined up to begin the following week -- you'd have thought he did it all himself, he was so puffed up
What if you meet a hispanic girl who thinks and acts gringa? Other than that, you have to follow your heart.
This topic hits home... I'm a product of a white father and a Samoan mother, so I can see where you're coming from regarding racial preferences. I've yet to date a girl who isn't white (and pale, which I like). For some reason I gravitate toward them more, but maybe that will change.
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