ilovemusic3 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 I'm a 27 year old female. I'm on POF, Okcupid, and Tinder, and I haven't met anyone in months. I'll talk to guys but they never ask me out. And if they do ask me out they never go through with it. It just seems like every guy is either just looking for hookups, or has other girls, or too busy to go out. What should I do? How do other people get dates? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Have you always had trouble getting dates?? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Don't answer that I already know. How do women get dates or attract men? You need to be somewhat attractive, friendly, not afraid to make eye contact, be sexy and flirty. If you are frumpy, dumpy, insecure and a nervous or negative nelly, guys are repelled. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 I'm a 27 year old female. I'm on POF, Okcupid, and Tinder, and I haven't met anyone in months. I'll talk to guys but they never ask me out. And if they do ask me out they never go through with it. It just seems like every guy is either just looking for hookups, or has other girls, or too busy to go out. What should I do? How do other people get dates? Maybe you need to change your profile? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Do you have a male friend who could take a look at your profiles? IME a lot of men just try things to see what they can get away with but there may be something giving off an impression you're not seeing. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 The guys that are just looking for hookups just send messages to anyone.....if they send out 100, they know they are going to get plenty of responses. Then they seek out which ones are going to be easy to "hit that". The guys that are looking for a serious relationship have higher expectations and are going to be pickier. They want hotter, sexier, fit women. What does it boil down too? It's very competitive to get those guys interested. It IS important how you present yourself, what you have to offer AND how you look. My tip? You have to work with what you got, and change what you can. You can change your hair, clothes, weight, social skills, photos and profile. I have browsed through your previous threads and you keep asking why why why I can't get a BF....it's not the guys you need to change, it's you. There has been plenty of advice given to you but since you keep asking why, you are not taking anyone's advice. The reality is, it does take effort to reach your goal. So use the advice given if you want to see results. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redguitar35 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 There's obviously something in your profile or your interactions with these guys that's turning off these gents. As a guy, these are some things that make me pass on a girl: KidsNot showing curiosity about me/not taking an active role in the conversationOverweight Poor quality photos (grainy, dark, blurry, etc.) No sense of humor Not having her sh*t together (dropped out of college, unemployed, etc.)Ranting about men/exes in their profile Making no effort in their profile Also, if you state in your profile that you have no interest in sex ever, and come across as too conservative, that could definitely be a non starter for most men. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 If guys talk to you then your profile is attractive enough to get their curiosity. It's probably conversation wise you are lacking some 'spunk'. How's your sense of humor? Are you relaxed? Is conversation coming easy to you? Do you just answer questions or you're able to make them smile and laugh? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 How do other people get dates? "other people" get dates in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 I just read your history and seems you do meet men and date. If you have been online for months then you have over-exposed yourself. Just delete your profile and go back in 3 weeks with new pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 I'll talk to guys but they never ask me out. And if they do ask me out they never go through with it. If guys talk to you then your profile is attractive enough to get their curiosity. Then you must be leaving out something seriously major in your profile. Racking my brain trying to figure out why I would not go out with you after peeping your profile. Only things I can think of.... *Smoker *your still married *You have kids no mention in your profile... heck not even that if you were decent looking... I have no idea.... Link to post Share on other sites
palmsand Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 How do the conversations usually go? Too many women I chat with online just don't seem to put much effort into the conversation, giving one word answers to questions, just not appearing to be engaged. Not saying that is you, and I haven't had much luck with OLD so it could just be me. Where it seems appropriate, see if you can throw in more questions about him, point out any quirky similarities between the two of you, stuff like that. Link to post Share on other sites
purrrfectlyflawed Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 3 sites makes it sounds like you are desperate. Guys see you and they think "Wow she's one of those serial daters on all the sites". Cancel 2 of them. Tinder is great but from my experience used for hookups and full of flakes. OK Cupid is lame. POF is ok, I actually have an ad on there now. So far have met 2 guys. One guy I've seen more than once. I am talking to a couple guys and one wants to meet up when he is back in town. Find a couple guys you like and are interested in meeting. Delete everyone else. Once you have been emailing back and forth for a week or so the subject of meeting should come up. Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 (edited) Online dating Is hard... I am on POF Tinder Match.com OKcupid Oasis I an can go weeks with out any dates then suddenly get 3-4 in space of a few weeks... Check your profile dose it sound interesting are the pictures any good? Edited December 28, 2016 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
LoveFiend Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 I'm a 27 year old female. I'm on POF, Okcupid, and Tinder, and I haven't met anyone in months. I'll talk to guys but they never ask me out. And if they do ask me out they never go through with it. It just seems like every guy is either just looking for hookups, or has other girls, or too busy to go out. What should I do? How do other people get dates? Online dating sucks! The only tools you have is a picture and description. In person is so much better. I myself have had a lot of awful experiences with online dating. Being only 5'4" and with online the only tool I have is my picture it makes it hard online. I can get dates much easier in person through people I know from work, or friends, or meeting people at the gym. Personality goes a long way in person. I have an uncanny ability to make people laugh and cheer them up in person, so I just prefer in-person. I rarely ask out strangers, I ask out people I have known for a while. Once women get to know me they seem to look past the looks, especially women older than me. My best advice is try dating people face to face and people you have known a while who have gotten to know you. At least for me that strategy seemed to improve the amount of dates I was able to land. Link to post Share on other sites
2005tahoe Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 (edited) I'm a 27 year old female. I'm on POF, Okcupid, and Tinder, and I haven't met anyone in months. I'll talk to guys but they never ask me out. And if they do ask me out they never go through with it. It just seems like every guy is either just looking for hookups, or has other girls, or too busy to go out. What should I do? How do other people get dates? I am 38 and fairly attractive male, I still have problems getting dates. People are not respectful. Edited December 29, 2016 by 2005tahoe Link to post Share on other sites
Kempeitai Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 I'm a 27 year old female. I'm on POF, Okcupid, and Tinder, and I haven't met anyone in months. I'll talk to guys but they never ask me out. And if they do ask me out they never go through with it. It just seems like every guy is either just looking for hookups, or has other girls, or too busy to go out. What should I do? How do other people get dates? Do you live in a town with a population of 2,000? I am sorry but I have a hard time believing no guys are asking you out. Ugly men can not afford to be picky with online dating. I have a feeling you are probably being too picky. Either that or you are living in a remote village. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 It's simple. Are you attractive? If not get exercising Link to post Share on other sites
Kempeitai Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 It's simple. Are you attractive? If not get exercising You think only attractive girls are messaged online??!? I am an above average looking guy and I message every girl who is average looking and up. Sometimes I will even message a slightly ugly girl with a solid body. If I was a fat ugly guy I would be messaging pretty much every girl. Most guys can't be picky as it is online, much less guys who are ugly. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 I am 38 and fairly attractive male, I still have problems getting dates. People are not respectful. Im going to give you advise.... the picture has nothing to do with your looks. Its your surrounding in the picture.. Countless men hit this target way off. Next she has to crack a smile.. so your profile is next.. Op.. unlike men your looks matter and next your profile. Doesnt matter... if you have a line in their like no hooksups, not looking for "x" or demands or guidelines... then i dont even think about contacting you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mkn1010 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 I just wanted to say that I do not agree with what Smackie said about what you apparently have to be as a woman, especially not the "sexy and flirty" bit. That's the kind of poor standard society sets for women that keeps them feeling unworthy. BE YOURSELF! You will therefore attract the right guy for YOU AS YOU ARE! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovemusic3 Posted December 30, 2016 Author Share Posted December 30, 2016 There is absolutely nowhere for me to meet guys in person. And I do engage in the convo. I'm always asking them stuff and they're the ones barely saying anything. Most guys rarely ask me about myself. And even if we are having a good convo nobody ever asks me out, they just stop talking. Link to post Share on other sites
BoatsBoatsBoats Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 There is absolutely nowhere for me to meet guys in person. And I do engage in the convo. I'm always asking them stuff and they're the ones barely saying anything. Most guys rarely ask me about myself. And even if we are having a good convo nobody ever asks me out, they just stop talking. Can you show us an example of one of the good conversations? It's hard to pinpoint when we can't see exactly what is being said. What does your profile description say? Also, want kind of guys do you go for? Do you only go for the REALLY hot guys, or do you go for average guys as well? The hottest ones are more likely to go silent since they have a large selection of girls to pick from. Link to post Share on other sites
BoatsBoatsBoats Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 I am 38 and fairly attractive male, I still have problems getting dates. People are not respectful. People are not respectful because they don't want to date you? Please. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Moves Like Jagger Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 It's really hard to give advice because I have no idea what you look like. I see a ton of these threads. I can't get a boyfriend or girlfriend threads. Yet, the OP doesn't give any information about their face and body type. After reading all your threads, you're still just another anonymous person on the Internet. If I were you, I would try to get advice from someone who is competent enough to judge your looks. Us guys are pretty honest about the fact that we care about looks. If you don't give us any idea about your appearance, I'm going to assume that you're another online dating woman who failed to maximize her looks. Link to post Share on other sites
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