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Pets Are Deal Breakers


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I can't get over the fact.

 

I just don't like having dog or cat hair all over anything I sit or sleep on. I don't like the smell of sweat, the dander, the poop, the urine, the saliva, pets jumping on dinner tables or stealing food from a coffee table, the ticks, fleas or the fact that I may end up having to share a bed with said pet at some point.

 

I met a great gal, she has a dog. I met another one, and she has 2 dogs and a cat.

 

What to do? What to do?

 

None of my exes had pets, and suddenly the women I'm dating and liking have pets. What's going on here?

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I can't get over the fact.

 

I just don't like having dog or cat hair all over anything I sit or sleep on. I don't like the smell of sweat, the dander, the poop, the urine, the saliva, pets jumping on dinner tables or stealing food from a coffee table, the ticks, fleas or the fact that I may end up having to share a bed with said pet at some point.

 

I met a great gal, she has a dog. I met another one, and she has 2 dogs and a cat.

 

What to do? What to do?

 

None of my exes had pets, and suddenly the women I'm dating and liking have pets. What's going on here?

 

Nothing is going on. You're just meeting women who have pets.

 

Before writing these girls off, meet the pets and see how they've been trained. It's easy to dislike pets who haven't been trained properly and do these things you complain about. But a good owner who takes care of their animals will train it and most of your concerns will be non-issues.

 

Some animals are high shedding and I agree that fur over everything is yuk. But there are some animals which don't shed or have low shedding rates.

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I can't get over the fact.

 

I just don't like having dog or cat hair all over anything I sit or sleep on. I don't like the smell of sweat, the dander, the poop, the urine, the saliva, pets jumping on dinner tables or stealing food from a coffee table, the ticks, fleas or the fact that I may end up having to share a bed with said pet at some point.

 

I met a great gal, she has a dog. I met another one, and she has 2 dogs and a cat.

 

What to do? What to do?

 

None of my exes had pets, and suddenly the women I'm dating and liking have pets. What's going on here?

 

I agree with the poster above. Speaking as a proud dog owner, give the pets a chance. I adopted my little guy at the age of 9 and everyone told me he couldn't be trained _ well, I did and he was. My home is clean and free of any kind of smell. He's a hypo-allergenic breed and doesn't shed and he certainly doesn't pee and poop all over the place. And fleas don't come to people :) they're incredible creatures who bring joy, they really do. Give them and the girls a chance. (I'm with you on cats, though. I tolerate them but that's about it.)

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OP,

If you are doing OLD make sure that you put on your profile that you don't like pets, then there will be no misunderstandings. :)

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Allergies aside, I would also watch out for girls who say they love dogs more than humans or men. In my experience, anyone who is that strongly pro animal>human have some form of social, human, or men issues. And I don't know why girls think it is cute or okay to practically make out with a dog and then try to kiss a guy shortly after. Just nasty. But that is besides the point.

 

I def love my pets more then SOME humans ive known or seen they are more respectful loving creatures not to mention non judgemental..I think it matter the amount of pets? I had a bf once who liked my cats I had 2 at 1st then like a year into the R he tried to push me into getting rid of them by faking a algery im glad I made the right choice and kept the cats...lol

Edited by Poe77
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Lol !

 

Finding the right girl is already difficult and on top of it , you need to date their pets also. Acceptance by the girl AND her pets ! Too much work.

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Well my best dog is a 100lb wolf hybrid that won the boyfriend over.... If he can be won over anyone with a well trained plet can win someone over

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Lol !

 

Finding the right girl is already difficult and on top of it , you need to date their pets also. Acceptance by the girl AND her pets ! Too much work.

 

Trust me if you find "the right" one the pets wont matter..unless you have some genuine algerys or she has a entire house full..I think this strong objection to any pets is just another thing on the list of "must haves" some people make up granted everyone has ideals when it comes to dating and that's fair enough but relationships in themselves are all about "give and take"..seams alot want the perfect partner and 200% perfect situation out of the gate or its a no go..no wonder so many are still single..

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As a cat owner who probably loves his cats more than some people, I think if you have a dislike for pets, you should make it clear upfront. I don't expect someone who doesn't like pets to put up with mine, that can be selfish and breed resentment in them. My pets aren't more important than their preferences, and it's definitely okay not to like pets.

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How much time have you actually spent around animals? My fiance and I have 2 short-haired cats and a boxer puppy (when we met, I had one cat and that was the total pet count...funny how that grows LOL). None of them shed. The boxer does toot and is a lot of work (he's only 3 months old!) but if you date a girl with pets, that's HER work, not yours so I don't see the problem with that. Anyway, in this day and age I think you'll be hard-pressed to find someone with NO pets, don't most people have a cat or a dog? Are you even giving these pets a chance? Not all dogs and cats jump up and steal food, get fleas, etc etc. They certainly shouldn't smell like feces if they are properly cared for! Maybe the girls you're meeting are just bad pet owners and for me THAT would be the turn off.

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LookAtThisPOst
I can't get over the fact.

 

I just don't like having dog or cat hair all over anything I sit or sleep on. I don't like the smell of sweat, the dander, the poop, the urine, the saliva, pets jumping on dinner tables or stealing food from a coffee table, the ticks, fleas or the fact that I may end up having to share a bed with said pet at some point.

 

I met a great gal, she has a dog. I met another one, and she has 2 dogs and a cat.

 

What to do? What to do?

 

None of my exes had pets, and suddenly the women I'm dating and liking have pets. What's going on here?

 

Expect to be single for a while if you're not open to dating women with pets...just sayin'.

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Don't date women who are irrational and obsessive about the pets. Not everyone is. Dogs can be confined to a certain area of the house, or they can be disallowed on the furniture. Cats... well, they're different, but they can be outdoor cats if the woman is willing to make compromises.

 

My girlfriend has a dog and several cats. I am allergic to the cats. We spend ninety-five percent of our time at my place and that's an acceptable compromise for us. We've talked about the future, and if we move in together the cats will become outdoor cats (already 80 percent outdoor cats).

 

If someone has a bunch of pets that are all over the furniture, sleep in the bed and all of that craziness, and if she's unwilling to compromise, save yourself the humiliation of getting dumped for the pets... because that's what will surely happen if you don't end it first. For crazy cat ladies, men are secondary and completely optional. Pass on that; it's a no win.

Edited by salparadise
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. Dogs can be confined to a certain area of the house,

 

Dogs are pack animals if you cannot offer them a pack then don't have them.

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I just don't like having dog or cat hair all over anything I sit or sleep on. I don't like the smell of sweat, the dander, the poop, the urine, the saliva, pets jumping on dinner tables or stealing food from a coffee table, the ticks, fleas or the fact that I may end up having to share a bed with said pet at some point.

 

What kind of pet are we talking about here? lol.

 

My dog is 45-lbs and I had him for 9 years. I don't have urine and poop in my home, no saliva on my furniture, and he gets a bath and is clipped once a month.

 

Yes he's a little rascal and he will steal food off coffee tables and even from the Kitchen counter if I don't pay attention. Dogs will be dogs and I accepted that when I got him and it's something my boyfriend had to accept when he picked to date me.

 

So, like I was saying before meeting my boyfriend I had been single 10 years and out of those I was alone with my dog for 9 so of course my dog owned the place here. He was allowed on every furniture and yes he slept on my bed.

 

My boyfriend is asthmatic so the hair on the furniture and the bed didn't sit well with him. I agreed to not let the dog on my bed anymore. It was a BIG adjustment for my dog, imagine it had been his bed for 9 years. But my boyfriend was very patient and eventually my dog accepted from now on he'll be sleeping on his bed on the follow. We had to get up in the middle of the night many times to bring the dog back to his bed. My BF never made me feel bad about it.

 

As for the furniture it was harder for me. I got my dog for companionship. I got him to have him next to me on the couch at night while watching tv and enjoying the fireplace. I did not want to give that up. And did not want to completely change my dog's life at age 9. So BF and I came to a solution. I have a big chest in my living room, in it there is about a dozen blanket he can throw on the couch before sitting. I make a point of vacuuming more often floors and furniture during the week.

 

At night if we watch a movie it's my BF, me and my dog all cuddled on the couch, life is perfect (my BF's words) :-)

 

My BF was able to adapt to life at my place. He grew very found of my dog and my dog has found himself a new friend. A year later my dog obeys my BF to any of his request and my BF is very proud to have gained my dog's respect.

 

It's been such a smooth adaption that my BF even said when we get a house together he'd like to get a greyhound, yep! that is the boyfriend who at first wasn't too sure about dating a woman with a dog.

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What kind of pet are we talking about here? lol.

Right?? lol. I have 2 cats, and not once have they done anything like that. ****ty owners != pet's fault.

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This honestly sounds like self sabotaging to me. Or like you have limited exposure to animals.

 

Literally nothing you listed applies to my dog. I could leave a steak on a coffee table and he wouldnt dare eat it lol. If a pet is groomed and trained then I don't see these things being a problem. I would give the pet a chance before making judgements.

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Don't date women who are irrational and obsessive about the pets. Not everyone is. Dogs can be confined to a certain area of the house, or they can be disallowed on the furniture. Cats... well, they're different, but they can be outdoor cats if the woman is willing to make compromises.

 

Actually cats can be trained as well. When I moved in with my ex he wasn't very fond of cats, but I had a big affectionate 8yr old male cat. I had allowed the cat on all of my furniture for his entire life but after moving in with my ex he declared that my cat would only be allowed on a chair in the living room, nothing else. I thought it was going to be an impossible task to get this cat to suddenly learn rules like that but it actually only took a couple of days of consistently kicking him off the furniture for him to understand. He soon learned that he had a comfy chair that was all his and he happily took it over.

 

It's worth training a cat rather than just tossing them outside. Life is a crapshoot for outdoor cats. They love the outdoors and some live long healthy lives as outdoor cats but many meet an early demise from various dangers. I had one outdoor cat that just never came home one day. Probably got hit by a car or attacked by another animal. Then another of my cats ate antifreeze and had to be put down due to kidney failure. She was the sweetest, smartest cat I ever had and I was crushed when she was put to sleep. After that I decided to keep any future cats inside. Expecting a woman with indoor cats to put them outside isn't a fair compromise at all.

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Don't date women who are irrational and obsessive about the pets. Not everyone is. Dogs can be confined to a certain area of the house, or they can be disallowed on the furniture. Cats... well, they're different, but they can be outdoor cats if the woman is willing to make compromises.

 

If someone has a bunch of pets that are all over the furniture, sleep in the bed and all of that craziness, and if she's unwilling to compromise, save yourself the humiliation of getting dumped for the pets... because that's what will surely happen if you don't end it first. For crazy cat ladies, men are secondary and completely optional. Pass on that; it's a no win.

 

This isn't really fair. The pet was in the woman's life first. I wouldn't dump my cat because my boyfriend didn't like him, my cat was there first. That doesn't make a boyfriend "secondary" but it also doesn't make my pet "secondary". If a guy doesn't like my cat, he doesn't have to date me. There are a lot of women out there who are pet-less.

 

My cat is an indoor-outdoor cat. He goes outside during the summer and stays inside all winter long (Canadian winter, self-explanatory). I'm not going to kick my cat out into the snow, that's cruel. A pet depends on you for health and well-being, that's not something you can compromise on.

 

Pets don't have to be "all over the furniture". My cat does sleep on my bed, but he has his own pillow and he's not allowed on the leather couches downstairs in the living room. Its not impossible to train the animal to not climb all over the furniture or eat food off the table. These aren't issues if you're a responsible pet owner.

 

I think it should just be clearly stated if you don't want to date someone with pets. I, for example, don't think I would be able to date someone with a dog. I really dislike dogs, they smell terrible, especially when they are wet, too many of them like to jump on me, I don't like being licked by them and I don't like it when their faces are covered in eye gunk. I think that when you're dating someone with pets, you should be prepared to face the fact that if you move in with that person, that pet becomes a part of your life as well.

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I do sympathise. I love animals and during my life have kept all kinds of pets and they are wonderful companions. I adored my pets. With living in a city though, and no longer having pets, I have begun to appreciate not having hair everywhere, not having to clean up messes, etc. While I like dogs, I found a friend's British Bulldog very smelly and unappealing. So, while I do love pets, I no longer want to live with one. I think I would cope if a partner had a pet but I would not go out of my way to find a partner with a pet.

 

If you really like this girl, then you either accept her and her pet or give her a miss. The two will be inextricably bound for the lifetime of the dog, whereupon she might even decide she wants another ...

 

I know, it's a dilemma, but you might as well be true to yourself rather than being irritable and bitter with your partner because she has a pet she loves and it lives in the house with you both.

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You can make anything a dealbreaker you want to. Just realize you are creating a smaller dating pool if you do so.

 

I know someone highly allergic to cats so he doesn't date women with pets. OTOH he's in his 60s and never married.

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A couple of people have already stated but although I don’t have pets (I’m a cat person) I’ve dated a few women who had cats and it was an instant in because the cats knew I was a cat person (they can tell ;)) when the relationships ended I miss the hell out of those cats heck I still have them on my phone, many years later.

 

Some who had dogs all the dogs liked me too, bottom line to pet owner’s pets can tell if you are a jerk!:D

 

But yes, you MUST make that clear but you will be eliminating a lot of good women. I’ve only dated 2 women in 6 years that did not have a pet.

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Pet people are pet people. We will always be pet people. Even if you meet a woman who doesn't allow her pet on the couch and has it well-trained, an older dog or cat may start urinating on the floor. The woman will still spend her (or your) money on vet bills. The pet will still be a responsibility and a recipient of her love.

 

When her pet dies, she will want another one. Because living without a pet is living without part of her heart.

 

My recommendation is if you truly dislike pets, to find a woman who feels the same way you do. Be very upfront about it. And no, don't date the woman you like who has pets. Unfair to her; unfair to you.

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Like others have said - it depends on the pet owner.

 

I am a strict disciplinarian with my pets. You better believe that they wouldn't steal something off the table, and if guests are over, they know "go lay down" and excuse themselves to the wash room.

 

I have two 20 pound dogs and two cats. The front of the house is cat free... and the dogs are well behaved. And yes even the cats are trained (one is a fetcher!)

 

Everyone gets groomed weekly, kept up to date on pest control, and the house is vacuumed, dusted etc frequently. Oh, and fyi, dogs and cats do not sweat.

 

That said, I am not a fan of big house dogs, it's fine for other people, but not for me. And while I do not think I am obsessive about my pets (I do think some people are), I wouldn't want to be with someone who hated pets. I have made a commitment to them (my last cat lived 19 years, and my last dog lived 17, it's a long haul), and they aren't getting kicked outside for some dude.

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I'm with you - i've always said I would never want a pet for all the same reasons. I've also thought about what i would do if the person i wanted to be with had a pet and figured i'd think about it on a case by case basis and possibly make a compromise if i liked the person enough. I'd say think about which weighs heavier - the woman you like is she amazing enough that you can get past pets or discuss/compromise on pets? Perhaps there could be an outdoor pet that would not be in the bed. I think that if she also liked you on the same wavelength you'd be able to discuss some other options if it came down to it. however if you don't like the woman enough to outweigh the pet discussion then you know what to do. goodluck!

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