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Is he hiding his feelings for me?


legginggirl

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Basically I met a guy at my job around August and we instantly became friends and I got his number that same day. After that he asked me to hang out and go to a concert with him. I ended up going with him and afterwards we went out to eat. Pretty much a couple of weeks after he texted me asking if I had a boyfriend because he said he wanted to get to know me. We continued texting after that and finally school started (he goes to the same school as me and we also have the same class). The first day we had class together he asked me to hang out. He introduced me to his friends and we all hung out together and went to the mall. Basically for a month straight we would text, facetime, and hang out together after class. He would send me hearts in texts, etc and I really started to like him. Fast forwarding to my birthday, we were sitting in his car after he dropped me off and we ended up kissing. Then one day we went to the movies together and ended up having sex. After this, we only got closer. His friends and people in class even thought that we were dating because of how happy we acted when we were by each other. He would text me telling me that he was thinking about me and that he was thankful for me, he even gave me pet names. One day we facetimed and he ended up asking me if I liked him and I told him I did. I decided to ask him how he felt about me and he said it was a surprise and that I had to wait.. that's exactly when I started getting confused and frustrated. When we talked again on the phone I decided to ask him again and he snapped on me and said "I never said I like you, can you leave me the **** alone" and hung up. He texted me a few minutes after saying he was playing.. I ended up just forgetting about it.

 

He would always bring up the fact that I liked him and he'd act happy about it saying that he was so surprised and what not.. but he would still say that he didn't want to rush things and didn't wanna tell me how he felt. Basically, this last Sunday we were facetiming and he ended up hanging up because his friend was calling and I jokingly said "whatever what was the point of you calling me goodnight" but I was JOKING. He then texts me and says "don't ever talk to me again i'm done". This is when I went off on him and told him how he hurt my feelings and he basically ignored this and said i'm a cry baby and asked what I was doing. Then on Monday, I finally decided to ask him once and for all how he felt about us and he said "nah we good why do you always ask that". He then said "we have a close relationship and i don't want labels to ruin it". I said I wasn't trying to make him label anything or ask me out and finally he said "friends with benefits". I WAS PISSED. This guy made me have feelings for him and put me through so much and acts like he likes me. I really don't know how to feel. He texted me last night saying "hi" and I didnt reply and when I saw him today in class, we didn't talk at all. I was thinking about telling him face to face next time I see him that I want a relationship and I won't settle for less because after this there's no way we could go back to being friends when I like him..

 

What do you think about this situation? I know he has problems with his mom but do you think he's scared to tell me how he really feels?

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He has told you clearly he wants to be FWB.

If you don't want that then tell him that ... tell him that you want a relationship and if he cannot do that then you are done with him.

Dont let him use you by stringing you along...

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Scarlett.O'hara

The way this guy is treating you is completely unacceptable. He clearly gets a kick out of hurting you and playing games. He sounds nasty and very immature. If he really liked and respected you, he wouldn't treat you this way.

 

If you continue to put up with this kind of behavior it will start to eat away at your self esteem until you feel worthless and think you deserve to be treated like dirt.

 

It is your choice but I would strongly recommend you stay away from this guy. He is not good boyfriend material.

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Basically I met a guy at my job around August and we instantly became friends and I got his number that same day. After that he asked me to hang out and go to a concert with him. I ended up going with him and afterwards we went out to eat. Pretty much a couple of weeks after he texted me asking if I had a boyfriend because he said he wanted to get to know me. We continued texting after that and finally school started (he goes to the same school as me and we also have the same class). The first day we had class together he asked me to hang out. He introduced me to his friends and we all hung out together and went to the mall. Basically for a month straight we would text, facetime, and hang out together after class. He would send me hearts in texts, etc and I really started to like him. Fast forwarding to my birthday, we were sitting in his car after he dropped me off and we ended up kissing. Then one day we went to the movies together and ended up having sex. After this, we only got closer. His friends and people in class even thought that we were dating because of how happy we acted when we were by each other. He would text me telling me that he was thinking about me and that he was thankful for me, he even gave me pet names. One day we facetimed and he ended up asking me if I liked him and I told him I did. I decided to ask him how he felt about me and he said it was a surprise and that I had to wait.. that's exactly when I started getting confused and frustrated. When we talked again on the phone I decided to ask him again and he snapped on me and said "I never said I like you, can you leave me the **** alone" and hung up. He texted me a few minutes after saying he was playing.. I ended up just forgetting about it.

 

He would always bring up the fact that I liked him and he'd act happy about it saying that he was so surprised and what not.. but he would still say that he didn't want to rush things and didn't wanna tell me how he felt. Basically, this last Sunday we were facetiming and he ended up hanging up because his friend was calling and I jokingly said "whatever what was the point of you calling me goodnight" but I was JOKING. He then texts me and says "don't ever talk to me again i'm done". This is when I went off on him and told him how he hurt my feelings and he basically ignored this and said i'm a cry baby and asked what I was doing. Then on Monday, I finally decided to ask him once and for all how he felt about us and he said "nah we good why do you always ask that". He then said "we have a close relationship and i don't want labels to ruin it". I said I wasn't trying to make him label anything or ask me out and finally he said "friends with benefits". I WAS PISSED. This guy made me have feelings for him and put me through so much and acts like he likes me. I really don't know how to feel. He texted me last night saying "hi" and I didnt reply and when I saw him today in class, we didn't talk at all. I was thinking about telling him face to face next time I see him that I want a relationship and I won't settle for less because after this there's no way we could go back to being friends when I like him..

 

What do you think about this situation? I know he has problems with his mom but do you think he's scared to tell me how he really feels?

 

This guy made me have feelings for him -- He is not "responsible" for your feelings.

 

put me through so much and acts like he likes me. -- He probably does at least like you. I don't know very many people who are emotionally healthy/stable who would hang out with and be intimate, etc. if they didn't at least like you. It still doesn't mean they want a real relationship with you.

 

but do you think he's scared to tell me how he really feels? --

When the question was posed to him, he was disrespectful about it but perfectly honest. I don't see any evidence of him being "afraid" to tell you how he feels. He was blunt, in fact.

 

If you continue to try to make more of this "relationship", you will be stringing yourself along and allowing yourself to be used. He wouldn't be using you because he was clear with you. He might tolerate being with you for his own needs, but it's up to you to move on if you aren't satisfied with what he's offering you. You need to hold yourself accountable as well.

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Dump this dude!! He's sounds unstable first of all by saying to a girl "don't ever talk to me again!" Um, that sounds like something a woman would do when she was feeling emotional, not some dude. And by him saying he doesn't like labels, and saying FWB, that's all he wants. Cut him off! You can't change people, you can only change yourself and by removing yourself from him, that's the best option for you. I know we women can get attached early, but you need to learn to love yourself more than some dude who gives you attention. It's taken me many years to learn that!

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Do not tell him you want a relationship with him.

 

That is giving him the green light to continue to treat you like crap because it sends the message that you will put up with anything as long as you can call him your boyfriend.

 

You also shouldn't need to ask a guy if he likes you. A guy should show you and tell you all on his own. If you don't like what you're getting, you move on.

 

You're young but in time you hopefully won't put up with treatment like this. If someone doesn't treat you with respect they don't deserve to be in your life, even as a friend.

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High school, right?

 

Yeah, you don't want a relationship with this guy. I know you may have feelings for him, but if you read what you wrote, you'll see that you don't really like him. It's hard to figure out and believe that both things are true, but I think they are.

 

Take everything he said at face value. No labels, doesn't want to tell you if he likes you or not (of course he does), acts angry about relationship conversations, then blows it off like nothing's wrong later.

 

He's emotionally immature, and not anywhere near ready for what you want with him. If you want him to be the one you get heartbroken over, then keep pushing it. Otherwise, get out while you can.

 

Surely there are other boys more deserving of your time and energy.

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I decided to ask him again and he snapped on me and said "I never said I like you, can you leave me the **** alone" and hung up. He texted me a few minutes after saying he was playing.. I ended up just forgetting about it.

 

Mistake #1: forgetting about the fact that he told you to your face without stuttering or tripping over his words that he never liked you and to leave him the eff alone. In fact, it was beyond messed up for him to ask you what your feelings for him were and for him to then tell you his feelings for you were a "surprise". That is someone who is bent on mind-effing you. There is no reason in the world why he can't answer that question--either he does have feelings for you or he doesn't. He knows that he doesn't and that's all he needed to say, not instigate all this unnecessary drama.

 

He then texts me and says "don't ever talk to me again i'm done".

 

And you dismissed this. Again.

:shaking my head:

 

This is when I went off on him and told him how he hurt my feelings and he basically ignored this and said i'm a cry baby and asked what I was doing. Then on Monday, I finally decided to ask him once and for all how he felt about us and he said "nah we good why do you always ask that". He then said "we have a close relationship and i don't want labels to ruin it". I said I wasn't trying to make him label anything or ask me out and finally he said "friends with benefits". I WAS PISSED.

 

I'm not surprised because nowhere in the behavior that you've spelled out in your posts indicates that he was interested in or capable of rising to the role of being your boyfriend.

 

This guy made me have feelings for him and put me through so much and acts like he likes me.

 

Don't confuse being negged by a guy with a guy having feelings for you other than contempt. He has nothing healthy to offer you in the realm of feelings.You are playing an intoxicating game of "validate me" and you're running after a guy because you think you can crack that nut. The more he negates, or negs, you, the more you turn yourself inside out to prove your value---when what you should be doing is hoisting the bird up the mast at him and moving on with your life. Life is too short for this mess.

 

 

I really don't know how to feel. He texted me last night saying "hi" and I didnt reply and when I saw him today in class, we didn't talk at all. I was thinking about telling him face to face next time I see him that I want a relationship and I won't settle for less because after this there's no way we could go back to being friends when I like him..

 

If this is what you want, then you need to understand that you're not going to get a healthy experience of it with this guy. You are a side piece to him, not his girlfriend. Don't waste your time going to him asking him to be clear yet again on the fact that he's never liked you, says you're a crybaby, tells you not to ever talk to him again because he's done. I'm not getting what about that you don't understand?

 

What do you think about this situation? I know he has problems with his mom but do you think he's scared to tell me how he really feels?

 

No. He's not scared to tell you how he feels. That much is abundantly obvious.

 

He's told you. Multiple times. You're the one who keeps coming back, taking more of his mess off of him.

 

This isn't him or his issue with his mother: it's you and how you don't value yourself. If how you esteemed yourself was healthier, this whole thread wouldn't be here because you'd have known the first time some stupid mess came out of his mouth that he needed to be dropped off at the mall so his mommy can come pick him up.

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He isnt hiding feelings. he doesnt have any for you.

 

Drop off the face of the earth and keep your dignity. Dont interact further.

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He has said twice that he doesn't like you and doesn't want to be with you...

 

 

So move on and find someone else that you don't have to guess with. This is just one of that guys that are stringing you along because he knows he has you.

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