OatsAndHall Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 The first solid significant other I have had since my divorce popped back up this week. We had broken up a few months ago for a few reasons. Firstly, I moved to take a new job. We had talked about whether or not it was going to work out long distance before I left but she became frustrated with it. Secondly (I mentioned this in another thread), she is kind of an unhappy and negative person. We'd had many discussions about improving the quality of her life: going back to school (which she did), getting some public financial assistance as she works hard but doesn't make much money and just other suggestions. She has some health issues that she is working on too. I had gotten tired of the complaining and tactfully asked her if she was truly that unhappy a few months a ago and she became sensitive and called it off. It hurt as I care about her, very much, but it seemed like a blessing at the time. However, I have missed her since we split as we enjoyed each others' company. She got a hold of me a few days ago and asked if I wanted to work things out. I told her that I was willing to give it another shot but that I wanted to take things slowly as there are things that I need to work on as well. I get very frustrated and reactive with her at times, especially when she is being negative. Her initial reasoning for getting back together was sincere as she felt like she was giving up on something special. She said that everything just kind of fell apart for her a few months ago: the long distance issue and feeling like she was being criticized. She said she was overly sensitive and I told her that I needed to be more empathetic at times. I did ask her straight off of the bat if she wanted to try this again because she truly wanted to be with me or if she was just lonely. She said that, yes, she was lonely but that she has always felt like it was a mistake when she called it off. As we've been talking, it's become pretty clear that she is very, very lonely and has had some issues with her family which is making it worse. She hasn't been as negative as she knows it bothers me but she has made several overly dramatic comments. So, I torn right now. There is a big part of me that wants to work this out. But, on the other hand, I'm concerned as I wonder if her judgement is clouded because she is stressed out between work, school, family issues and just being lonely and depressed. Link to post Share on other sites
MarkIVSteel Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 You shouldn't go back in your trash can to rummage for food. You go to the grocery store and buy some new food. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Just be friends with her, and don't do the long distance thing. IMO she really doesn't need a relationship, just someone for support to get her through the rough patch. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 LDR is a waste of time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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