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2 dates in, not sure if he likes me


lamaga

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I went on two dates with a guy I met on a dating website. He seems really great, and we have a lot in common. On our first date, he kissed me and said he wanted to see me again. Yesterday we went on our second date, and it was a lot of fun. He brought a rose, which I thought was really cheesy. He does want to kiss a lot, and I am just not feeling that yet, it is something I only like to do once a deeper emotional connection is built. That's just how I roll.

After our second date, we texted a bit until we both went to sleep, and I wrote him that I prefer if we slow things down a bit. He said he understood.

 

Ever since our first date 4 days ago, we've been texting every day all the time, but for some reason, he has not texted me yet today, and its already afternoon. He did start a new job today, so maybe he is just distracted, but I am afraid that maybe he was turned off by what I wrote last night. FYI, if that's the case, I couldn't care less, of course, that would just mean he is a douche.

 

I was just wondering if I should text him or not. I don't want to bother him on his first day at his new work, but I saw he has been online and I just really feel like talking to him. Will I seem needy? I wanted to ask what his day was like.

 

(By the way, I haven't been dating anyone in almost a year, hence my awkwardness and insecurity)

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Makes me laugh each time. YOU asked him to take things slower so that is what he is doing by toning down his texts. You asked for something and you got it.

 

Yes you can text him and YOU can set the next date, he did the first 2.

 

Yes the guy likes you and he was showing it plenty, you asked him to slow down so now he is the one wondering if you like him !

 

If you do like him than give him a green light by setting the next date.

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Eternal Sunshine

One things is for sure: he likes you physically. Hard to say if there is anything more there, only time will tell.

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I went on two dates with a guy I met on a dating website. He seems really great, and we have a lot in common. On our first date, he kissed me and said he wanted to see me again. Yesterday we went on our second date, and it was a lot of fun. He brought a rose, which I thought was really cheesy. He does want to kiss a lot, and I am just not feeling that yet, it is something I only like to do once a deeper emotional connection is built. That's just how I roll.

After our second date, we texted a bit until we both went to sleep, and I wrote him that I prefer if we slow things down a bit. He said he understood.

 

Ever since our first date 4 days ago, we've been texting every day all the time, but for some reason, he has not texted me yet today, and its already afternoon. He did start a new job today, so maybe he is just distracted, but I am afraid that maybe he was turned off by what I wrote last night. FYI, if that's the case, I couldn't care less, of course, that would just mean he is a douche.

 

I was just wondering if I should text him or not. I don't want to bother him on his first day at his new work, but I saw he has been online and I just really feel like talking to him. Will I seem needy? I wanted to ask what his day was like.

 

(By the way, I haven't been dating anyone in almost a year, hence my awkwardness and insecurity)

 

No, I actually think you should leave him alone. You are too confusing. You want to know if he "likes" you. He kisses you allot but you don't roll like that.:rolleyes: Now you are confused why he hasn't texted you even though you wanted to slow down the relationship and if he takes you at your word he is also a douche. If I were him I'd move on to a woman who knows what she wants.

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No, I actually think you should leave him alone. You are too confusing. You want to know if he "likes" you. He kisses you allot but you don't roll like that.:rolleyes: Now you are confused why he hasn't texted you even though you wanted to slow down the relationship and if he takes you at your word he is also a douche. If I were him I'd move on to a woman who knows what she wants.

 

Whoa, I do know what I want for sure. I want to keep dating him, but I just don't feel like having intense making out sessions just yet, I just can't get into it that quickly with someone I only met twice.

All I asked him is if we could take it slowly with the physical aspect, that does not mean we can't still write each other until we see each other again.

 

And yes, he is a douche if he only wants to hook up and pretends that he likes me in every other way as well. You are clearly misinterpreting what I wrote. I find it offensive.

 

But it's ok, I texted him and asked him if his first day at work was going well, and he did not reply. So there we go.

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mortensorchid

Come now, you are being an unreasonable woman here. He is clearly physically attracted to you by your description of events. But you said you wanted him to slow down, and he said okay, and that's exactly what he's doing here. Don't stress about this.

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Why date a guy that you have to slam the brakes on. You two have very different expectations. He's probably just going to move on eventually because he isn't getting anywhere with you.

 

Nothing wrong with holding off on the physical stuff, but it's wrong to expect him to....cut him loose.

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Eternal Sunshine

I totally get it. I am not into full makeouts with a complete stranger. I found that asking them to slow down doesn't work. So you either have to put up with making out and hope your feelings will catch up soon or decide that your pace doesn't match up and move on. I usually just move on.

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Sunkissedpatio

Oh so you want to take things slow but on your terms. You ask to slow down that is exactly what he does and you panic because he doesn't text you all morning? That's taking it slow, might not fit yours but by general definition that is what you requested.

 

Now, if you are worried he lost interest because you put the breaks on physically then that's quite possible and better to know now you were just a sex option for him than after you sleep with him and become more emotionally invested.

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I went on two dates with a guy I met on a dating website. He seems really great, and we have a lot in common. On our first date, he kissed me and said he wanted to see me again. Yesterday we went on our second date, and it was a lot of fun. He brought a rose, which I thought was really cheesy. He does want to kiss a lot, and I am just not feeling that yet, it is something I only like to do once a deeper emotional connection is built. That's just how I roll.

After our second date, we texted a bit until we both went to sleep, and I wrote him that I prefer if we slow things down a bit. He said he understood.

 

Ever since our first date 4 days ago, we've been texting every day all the time, but for some reason, he has not texted me yet today, and its already afternoon. He did start a new job today, so maybe he is just distracted, but I am afraid that maybe he was turned off by what I wrote last night. FYI, if that's the case, I couldn't care less, of course, that would just mean he is a douche.

 

I was just wondering if I should text him or not. I don't want to bother him on his first day at his new work, but I saw he has been online and I just really feel like talking to him. Will I seem needy? I wanted to ask what his day was like.

 

(By the way, I haven't been dating anyone in almost a year, hence my awkwardness and insecurity)

 

This is the most confusing post I've ever read. I don't mean for this to sound harsh, but did you read this when you wrote it?

 

YOU told him you wanted to slow things down. Then you say he hasn't reached out to you yet. Those two things are complete opposites. I hope it works out for you, but you can't have each foot on a different path.

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Versacehottie

You are being unreasonable. Slow down would mean in all components--not just the ones you pick and choose---ie don't keep expecting to lean on him for ego boosts and to fill your day with texts when you told him to slow down.

 

You basically just told him you were a much bigger risk and possibly a bad investment because of this "slow down" business. If you really mean that than take the good with the bad--which means he shouldn't contact you as much. Why should he keep investing if you're about to fly the coop!?!? It does take knowing what you want and standing behind what you say if you are going to build trust under these conditions. Right now you are acting like you are just a girl who likes attention from a guy WHEN she doesn't get it. Woman up! he's doing the right thing. Slow down means if you used to text every day than now you will only every other or every two. Or maybe you should initiate some to give him an idea of the pace you want (not attention, pace!). Texting today seems like you just want attention, reassurance and are playing games. Put it like this: if he's backing off, it's not only because you ASKED HIM TO, but also i don't think most people can imagine saying this to someone they are excited about, thus he's probably concluded you are not excited about him.

 

Ok think about it. Put yourself in his shoes.

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lamaga,

All I would say is be consistant.

 

You say you "want to take it slow" but then text all day. ( Don't you go to work either of you ? :confused:)

 

Stop the all-day texting and and bring your actions in line with your words. :rolleyes:

 

And don't have sex with him until you know where you stand with this guy.

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I am surprised that so many people on here think I am crazy. Ha.

I mean, all i did was tell him I am not sure I can be physical after such a short time. Anyway we went on a 3rd date yesterday and I showed him my neighborhood and we watched a documentary at my house and cuddled. It was really nice and he seemed to be ok with me leading the physical aspect of us moving forward. So I hope this will go somewhere meaningful (that's all I wanted).

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Versacehottie
That's just how I roll.

After our second date, we texted a bit until we both went to sleep, and I wrote him that I prefer if we slow things down a bit. He said he understood.

 

Ever since our first date 4 days ago, we've been texting every day all the time, but for some reason, he has not texted me yet today, and its already afternoon. He did start a new job today, so maybe he is just distracted, but I am afraid that maybe he was turned off by what I wrote last night. FYI, if that's the case, I couldn't care less, of course, that would just mean he is a douche.

 

I was just wondering if I should text him or not. I don't want to bother him on his first day at his new work, but I saw he has been online and I just really feel like talking to him. Will I seem needy? I wanted to ask what his day was like.

 

(By the way, I haven't been dating anyone in almost a year, hence my awkwardness and insecurity)

 

Why is he a douche if he pulls back after you told him to slow down?? I would say it's not necessarily awkwardness that causes you to acts like this but self-centeredness and only thinking about yourself. That's why you are getting similar responses--you sound a lot self-absorbed. Um, he started a new job and you told him to slow down. If you just meant sexually, then say that. Slow down means all the way around. He still wouldn't be a jerk to pull back in total based on what you said, even if you had clarified just physically. Not to mention he had things going on in his real life yesterday, like a new job. It's not always all about you-nor should it be. Take others into consideration. And work on your insecurity alone before you go visiting it on some other person. You DO sound needy and confusing.

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I lost a close friend to alcohol.

 

He literally drank himself to death.

 

Believe me, you don't want to go through that.

 

 

Take care.

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I am surprised that so many people on here think I am crazy. Ha.

I mean, all i did was tell him I am not sure I can be physical after such a short time. Anyway we went on a 3rd date yesterday and I showed him my neighborhood and we watched a documentary at my house and cuddled. It was really nice and he seemed to be ok with me leading the physical aspect of us moving forward. So I hope this will go somewhere meaningful (that's all I wanted).

 

We didn't say you were crazy, we said you asked for 1 thing and then complained he complied.

 

To you asking him to tone it down physically didn't mean to slow down the communications, to him it might be going hand in hand. More he talks to you more he wants you physically so he will slow down on the communication. Men psychology 101.

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I am surprised that so many people on here think I am crazy. Ha.

I mean, all i did was tell him I am not sure I can be physical after such a short time. Anyway we went on a 3rd date yesterday and I showed him my neighborhood and we watched a documentary at my house and cuddled. It was really nice and he seemed to be ok with me leading the physical aspect of us moving forward. So I hope this will go somewhere meaningful (that's all I wanted).

 

Then you need to tell him this. What you wrote in your opening post made no sense whatsoever.

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Sunkissedpatio
Anyway we went on a 3rd date yesterday and I showed him my neighborhood and we watched a documentary at my house and cuddled. It was really nice and he seemed to be ok with me leading the physical aspect of us moving forward. So I hope this will go somewhere meaningful (that's all I wanted).

 

As much as you can control how much you give of yourself sexually, you cannot control if dating this person will lead somewhere meaningful. Holding off on the physical is to protect yourself from becoming too invested before you know enough about a man, it is not to predict the outcome of the seriousness of the relationship.

 

Good luck.

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You seemed really happy with your recent guy? What happened there???

 

Are you sure you are ready to date again?

 

If so, most men who are excited about you would wait/take it slow if that was your wish. They wouldn't just give up because they couldn't get what they wanted quite as fast as they wanted.

 

A experienced a few men who wanted to do too much too soon; it was often because they just wanted sex. Sure, it was sometimes because they just really liked me. But most of those men who were pushy physically early on ended up ghosting or ditching me once they got sex.

 

A normal reasonable guy would wait.

 

Seems like this guy was reasonable after all. Going on your update !

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Why is he a douche if he pulls back after you told him to slow down?? I would say it's not necessarily awkwardness that causes you to acts like this but self-centeredness and only thinking about yourself. That's why you are getting similar responses--you sound a lot self-absorbed. Um, he started a new job and you told him to slow down. If you just meant sexually, then say that. Slow down means all the way around. He still wouldn't be a jerk to pull back in total based on what you said, even if you had clarified just physically. Not to mention he had things going on in his real life yesterday, like a new job. It's not always all about you-nor should it be. Take others into consideration. And work on your insecurity alone before you go visiting it on some other person. You DO sound needy and confusing.

 

I did tell Him to slow down sexually. That's the whole point.

And yes, if a guy stops seeing me because I don't put out after two dates, then he is a douche. Sorry, but I don't know what having some self worth has to do with being self absorbed or needy.

You are being kind of a jerk. You don't even know me.

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Lois_Griffin
I did tell Him to slow down sexually. That's the whole point.

And yes, if a guy stops seeing me because I don't put out after two dates, then he is a douche.

Agreed.

 

He brought a rose, which I thought was really cheesy.

That's a sh*t attitude to take toward someone who took the time to make a sweet gesture towards you.

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