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Why don't women just ask guys out to make dating much easier in general?


NJ123

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I don't get why it has to be the way it is for. It feels like in 2016 the whole entire structure of dating has changed due to social media & online dating apps, but the one thing that would probably improve things is if women would finally start asking guys out just as much as men ask women out. I just don't get why they don't do it, or not anywhere as much as men do.

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You are generalizing.

 

I am now in my 50s and I have done my fair share of asking guys out. And - heck - the last one I asked out eventually married me. :p

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NJ, you generalize.

 

A. Lot.

 

Please stop.

 

I'm a woman. If I met a single man who I was very interested in, I would ask him out.

 

Please leave my thread. I'm tired of people just coming into threads just to argue.

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Sunkissedpatio

Because for the most part it turns us on to see masculine energy. Waiting for a girl to ask you out is feminine energy. Does nothing for me personally.

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Depends of many factors, where you are and what is the custom of people there.

 

Where I am from women ask men out with no reservations. I did it, my daughter does it often too (she is 29).

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Depends of many factors, where you are and what is the custom of people there.

 

Where I am from women ask men out with no reservations. I did it, my daughter does it often too (she is 29).

 

Yeah, that's probably a good point. It seems in the U.S. it's way less likely for women to ask a guy out than in a lot of other countries.

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Because for the most part it turns us on to see masculine energy. Waiting for a girl to ask you out is feminine energy. Does nothing for me personally.

 

If a woman really likes a guy a lot & the guy happens to be shy or he doesn't pick up on her hints why would it be so wrong for the woman to ask the guy out? That's what I don't get.

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Most women I know would ask someone out if they felt attraction.

 

So if in general they don't ask as much, maybe they're just better at attracting than us men. Or maybe they have higher standards than us. Either way it seems we have to step it up a notch.

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If a woman really likes a guy a lot & the guy happens to be shy or he doesn't pick up on her hints why would it be so wrong for the woman to ask the guy out? That's what I don't get.

 

It's because women have been told since time immemorial that men need to chase. The women who are rule breakers will flout the rule. But if a woman is more cautious, she's likely to stick to the rule.

 

If men all started talking about how they want a woman to ask them out, women may listen.

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Most women I know would ask someone out if they felt attraction.

 

So if in general they don't ask as much, maybe they're just better at attracting than us men. Or maybe they have higher standards than us. Either way it seems we have to step it up a notch.

 

lol Off topic but I just noticed your Scott Steiner quote. Do you still watch wrestling these days?

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It's because women have been told since time immemorial that men need to chase. The women who are rule breakers will flout the rule. But if a woman is more cautious, she's likely to stick to the rule.

 

If men all started talking about how they want a woman to ask them out, women may listen.

 

The thing is I'm sure there's a whole lot of men that would love for women to ask them out. I guarantee a whole lot of guys would be flattered & would like it if women started approaching more.

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The thing is I'm sure there's a whole lot of men that would love for women to ask them out. I guarantee a whole lot of guys would be flattered & would like it if women started approaching more.

 

You may be right. But until these men start speaking out and pulling apart stereotypes (many of which were put in place by men) nothing is going to change.

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You may be right. But until these men start speaking out and pulling apart stereotypes (many of which were put in place by men) nothing is going to change.

 

Sadly it won't change if it hasn't by now. I think I personally missed out on some opportunities due to never knowing for sure if someone was interested & the woman of course isn't going to flat out say so nothing happened. I was even playfully touched one time by a woman & that turned out to be nothing but being friendly since the girl had a boyfriend already. They just want the guys to flat out ask them out.

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They just want the guys to flat out ask them out.

 

This may seem like a dumb question, but why don't you?

 

So she says no, so what, will you die?

 

No, you will survive,shake it off, and carry on.

 

I mean if you can't beat 'em, why join 'em.

 

From what I understand it does get easier the more you do it.

 

I have asked a guy or two out for coffee. Never led to much.

 

Through experience I have learned that when a man is interested in me, HE will ask me.

 

I think many women have learned the same thing.

 

From none other than.... MEN!

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Sunkissedpatio
If a woman really likes a guy a lot & the guy happens to be shy or he doesn't pick up on her hints why would it be so wrong for the woman to ask the guy out? That's what I don't get.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with reversing the roles, I just think that it works better when a guy does the chasing. I can't speak for guys but I do like a man who goes after what he wants. A man with a plan, is hot! It turns me on.

 

Also, there must be something in the chase for guys because there otherwise wouldn't be so many men addicted to the chase. So there must be something wired into our DNA to chase as a man and to entice as a woman; hunter and gatherer.

 

I mean, look at all the threads that get started on here by women who think they are reading flirty signs from guys and then when they make a move fall flat and nothing happens.

 

If a guy is too shy to ask a woman out, if she is relatively attractive she will just wait for someone who isn't shy enough to ask her out. And they always do come along.

 

In my experience, and this is super generalizing and again just my own experience, the type of women who chase men and make all the moves are either not that attractive, or are attractive but are over-sexed and claim to go after what they want because they are empowered and independent but fall apart when a relationship doesn't develop after what they go for. Again, this is just my own observation or experience. By no means am I suggesting it is always like this.

 

Women are not programmed to chase, men are so we are not going to ask men out for the most part.

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Sadly it won't change if it hasn't by now. I think I personally missed out on some opportunities due to never knowing for sure if someone was interested & the woman of course isn't going to flat out say so nothing happened. I was even playfully touched one time by a woman & that turned out to be nothing but being friendly since the girl had a boyfriend already. They just want the guys to flat out ask them out.

 

Of course it can change if men want it to change.

 

Women have spent the last 40 years telling men that we want more choice in how we live our lives in respect to mothering, housewife, work etc and men have listened and responded accordingly. (Not referring to the disrespectful, nutty fringe on both ends of gender issues - but to the proactive, positive, civil conversations which have been had)

 

If women can gather together and tell men how they want to be treated, why can't men do the same? Just don't expect to for societal expectations to change overnight. It takes decades.

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Sunkissedpatio
Sadly it won't change if it hasn't by now. I think I personally missed out on some opportunities due to never knowing for sure if someone was interested & the woman of course isn't going to flat out say so nothing happened. I was even playfully touched one time by a woman & that turned out to be nothing but being friendly since the girl had a boyfriend already. They just want the guys to flat out ask them out.

 

You know what's fundamentally wrong with all PUA crap that is put out there by losers like for example that Roosh V guy? They profess that you need to go out and basically make a move on anything that moves and it's a numbers game. To that is throwing mud on a wall to see what sticks. There is no art to that at all. It's a numbers game and getting dates through numbers does not = quality.

 

If I were a guy I would develop my skill in learning to read the signs of when a woman flirts with you. So you could be way off at first but eventually if you learn to read a woman and how she flirts it is all there in the open of the taking. To me that is strategy.

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lol Off topic but I just noticed your Scott Steiner quote. Do you still watch wrestling these days?

 

Yeaa I've been back to watching WWE shows and PPVs. So far I've liked what I've seen especially Smackdown, NXT and the women's division in general. Also watch TNA occasionally and gotta say that Broken Matt Hardy angle may be the nuttiest thing they've ever done, but it's really compelling in its own deranged way.

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I don't think there is anything wrong with reversing the roles, I just think that it works better when a guy does the chasing. I can't speak for guys but I do like a man who goes after what he wants. A man with a plan, is hot! It turns me on.

 

Also, there must be something in the chase for guys because there otherwise wouldn't be so many men addicted to the chase. So there must be something wired into our DNA to chase as a man and to entice as a woman; hunter and gatherer.

 

I mean, look at all the threads that get started on here by women who think they are reading flirty signs from guys and then when they make a move fall flat and nothing happens.

 

If a guy is too shy to ask a woman out, if she is relatively attractive she will just wait for someone who isn't shy enough to ask her out. And they always do come along.

 

In my experience, and this is super generalizing and again just my own experience, the type of women who chase men and make all the moves are either not that attractive, or are attractive but are over-sexed and claim to go after what they want because they are empowered and independent but fall apart when a relationship doesn't develop after what they go for. Again, this is just my own observation or experience. By no means am I suggesting it is always like this.

 

Women are not programmed to chase, men are so we are not going to ask men out for the most part.

 

This is going to sound cliche, but it seems like you say it's better because it's easier for you personally. You don't realize how hard it is for guys to approach especially if they're shy/introverted. And they just get cast aside because of that. There's a reason so many guys are really inexperienced into older ages compared to women & than a lot of women hold it against the guy for being so.

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You know what's fundamentally wrong with all PUA crap that is put out there by losers like for example that Roosh V guy? They profess that you need to go out and basically make a move on anything that moves and it's a numbers game. To that is throwing mud on a wall to see what sticks. There is no art to that at all. It's a numbers game and getting dates through numbers does not = quality.

 

If I were a guy I would develop my skill in learning to read the signs of when a woman flirts with you. So you could be way off at first but eventually if you learn to read a woman and how she flirts it is all there in the open of the taking. To me that is strategy.

 

As I said, isn't playfully touching pretty much a bigger sign more than any other as a sign of interest? Yet that still turned out to be nothing. In that case I wasn't interested in her because she was quite a bit younger than me, but still it's just hard to know for sure when someone is interested.

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Sunkissedpatio
This is going to sound cliche, but it seems like you say it's better because it's easier for you personally. You don't realize how hard it is for guys to approach especially if they're shy/introverted. And they just get cast aside because of that. There's a reason so many guys are really inexperienced into older ages compared to women & than a lot of women hold it against the guy for being so.

 

It's not cliche and it may not be fair but it is what it is.

No different than heavy women getting cast aside for being over weight etc. It's a cruel world out there but people like what they like.

 

Believe it or not some men don't like to be chased and every woman at some point has encountered that. Men can be very territorial, again look at how threatened some men feel by a woman's past. The same reason that a woman comes on to a guy and makes him hers, can come back to bite her in the butt by that man who will question just how forward she has been in the past with guys. A lot of men still judge women on how "slutty" she is.

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Yeaa I've been back to watching WWE shows and PPVs. So far I've liked what I've seen especially Smackdown, NXT and the women's division in general. Also watch TNA occasionally and gotta say that Broken Matt Hardy angle may be the nuttiest thing they've ever done, but it's really compelling in its own deranged way.

 

Yes, Smackdown has been awesome lately. Last nights episode was great especially. And Broken Matt is hilarious. I heard TNAs future relies on this weekend on whether Billy Corgan or WWE will purchase it. I hope Corgan gets it since wrestling needs as many companies on TV as possible instead of just WWE.

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It's not cliche and it may not be fair but it is what it is.

No different than heavy women getting cast aside for being over weight etc. It's a cruel world out there but people like what they like.

 

Believe it or not some men don't like to be chased and every woman at some point has encountered that. Men can be very territorial, again look at how threatened some men feel by a woman's past. The same reason that a woman comes on to a guy and makes him hers, can come back to bite her in the butt by that man who will question just how forward she has been in the past with guys. A lot of men still judge women on how "slutty" she is.

 

I just can't help but feel you say that because it doesn't affect you personally.

 

And yeah, I agree men do still judge women based on how much sex she had. But I think it's mainly due to how women can get sex easily while guys have to work for it. I think it just turns a lot of men off from wanting a relationship with those women because they view them as easy & that they feel the woman wouldn't view the guy as special to them since they've slept with so many people so easily. So there's that double standard which exists.

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