Am I having unrealistic expectations?

[venusinlibra]

Been off and on with this guy for five months. He is very insecure, and I doubt he's had a real girlfriend before. He seems to pull away shortly after we get close, but then comes back to me stronger than before.

 

Coincidentally, the last time he pulled away, a friend of mine had just recess cancer diagnosis. He was there for me all night, holding me and encouraging me to let it all out. Then poof!!

 

We've been back on for a few weeks. He had surgery for a cancerous spot on his neck. I took care of him, and he said he was catching Nightingale syndrome and falling in love with his nurse (me).

 

I had surgery for ovarian cysts and kidney stones yesterday. He had offered to ride me days in advance and was all set to do so. I was ticked because he started referring to it as "dropping off" and "picking up", and didn't offer to take me to dinner on Monday night. So late that night, I told him he was off the hook. He asked if it was rescheduled and I told him that someone had to stay with me during surgery per my doctor. He replied that he could but had to make sure he could stillt leave at 2 to get his teeth cleaned(he's overly obsessed with his teeth and wears retainer 24/7). I didn't reply, as I had to leave for surgery.

 

And he STILL hasn't checked on me, offered help, brought flowers, etc. Am I overreacting?

Edited September 28, 2016 by venusinlibra

[VeveCakes]

ugh...what do you expect from his past patterns?

 

You also blew him off....so I think his reaction is unsurprising.

[alphamale]

this guy's a loser, dump him

[hippychick3]

He clearly is not invested in this relationship and doesn't seem to care that much.

 

Any relationship that is "on and off" is highly unlikely to stay "on." Too much drama.

 

Move on.

[somecamel]

His teeth are more important than you.

 

What does that tell you?

[Redhead14]

Been off and on with this guy for five months. He is very insecure, and I doubt he's had a real girlfriend before. He seems to pull away shortly after we get close, but then comes back to me stronger than before.

 

Coincidentally, the last time he pulled away, a friend of mine had just recess cancer diagnosis. He was there for me all night, holding me and encouraging me to let it all out. Then poof!!

 

We've been back on for a few weeks. He had surgery for a cancerous spot on his neck. I took care of him, and he said he was catching Nightingale syndrome and falling in love with his nurse (me).

 

I had surgery for ovarian cysts and kidney stones yesterday. He had offered to ride me days in advance and was all set to do so. I was ticked because he started referring to it as "dropping off" and "picking up", and didn't offer to take me to dinner on Monday night. So late that night, I told him he was off the hook. He asked if it was rescheduled and I told him that someone had to stay with me during surgery per my doctor. He replied that he could but had to make sure he could stillt leave at 2 to get his teeth cleaned(he's overly obsessed with his teeth and wears retainer 24/7). I didn't reply, as I had to leave for surgery.

 

And he STILL hasn't checked on me, offered help, brought flowers, etc. Am I overreacting?

 

He's not your boyfriend. He's just a guy that you've been seeing on and off for 5 months . . . you aren't overreacting, you're over "expecting".

 

Lose this guy . . .

[smackie9]

Here read this article. The Dating Game of Hot and Cold | Huffington Post

 

 

The recommendation is to get out of the relationship NOW. It's never going to change with him.

[Buddhist]

He's known for being unreliable and you're ticked off he's unreliable? Yes I think your expectation for him to suddenly become reliable is unrealistic in this instance. Get a new love interest.