4blossoms Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 (edited) I recently met a guy in grad school and have been confused by some mixed signals. We were in a school club this summer where I am an officer and I noticed he would show up at most of the events I was in. If I dropped out of an event, he would do the same. This happened a couple of times. A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was going to drop out of event A to attend event B. He mumbled something about maybe doing the same. A couple of weeks pass, something comes up, and I can't make it to event B. On the day of event B he emails me saying he had forgotten to contact me earlier but that he is at event B and do I want to meet up? I replied that something came up and I couldn't be there. Then I noticed he had also sent me a friend request on Facebook, so I accepted. Over a week goes by and I don't hear from him, so I write a message to say hi and ask if he's going to a big event C next month. He said he will be away for most of October but will see if he has time to go, then asks me to organize another event D that he's interested in. The next day he rsvps yes to event C. At this point I wonder if he might like me. I do find him attractive, so I replied with a longer message and asked about his interests/hobbies to try to know him better. Total silence for 4 days. Up until now he's always responded pretty quickly (a few hours to 1 day at the most). But this time he waited 4 days to respond and his message has a bunch of typos. But in the message he says his travel plans changed and he will organize another event in mid-October. So, suddenly he doesn't have to be away for most of October anymore. He mentioned that he used to have social anxiety but has gotten past it over the years. But I don't know if he still has anxiety with dating/women. He is also not from the U.S., so I don't know if the dating is different where he's from. Sorry if my post is confusing, trying to maintain everyone's privacy. Based on all this what do you think is going on? Taking 4 days to respond with a bunch of typos seems disinterested to me. Is he just interested in these club activities and nothing else? Edited September 28, 2016 by 4blossoms Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 I've said it once and I'll say it again......you cannot tell anything from text/instragram/whatsapp/fb msgs. Who really knows why he didn't respond for days. Maybe he was thinking what to say, maybe he got some bad advice from some dude who told him not to look too eager etc. Could be anything. He's agreeing to meet up at events, that's all you really know about him. Save the rest for an actual conversation not this msgs crap. How you can call a msg response a 'mixed signal' is beyond me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4blossoms Posted September 28, 2016 Author Share Posted September 28, 2016 (edited) What do I do at this point? How do I find out if he has any interest in me? At one of the school club events a few weeks ago I noticed that he was blushing a lot, couldn't speak, didn't look at me, and kept trying to sit next to me. That lasted for a few hours then he started looking more normal. We've actually only met twice in person... Edited September 28, 2016 by 4blossoms Link to post Share on other sites
leogirl876 Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 What do I do at this point? How do I find out if he has any interest in me? At one of the school club events a few weeks ago I noticed that he was blushing a lot, couldn't speak, didn't look at me, and kept trying to sit next to me. That lasted for a few hours then he started looking more normal. We've actually only met twice in person... Do nothing. A guy that's interested in you will make it known, all you have to do is say when he asks you out. If he's not asking you out, he's either not interested or too shy, and if it's the latter, do you really want a man without courage? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 There is no such thing as "mixed" signals. It's only confusion on your part because you are wishing they had an interest in you. They are not interested period. It's true if a guy was really interested in you he would be very forward about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 What do I do at this point? How do I find out if he has any interest in me? At one of the school club events a few weeks ago I noticed that he was blushing a lot, couldn't speak, didn't look at me, and kept trying to sit next to me. That lasted for a few hours then he started looking more normal. We've actually only met twice in person... If you want him bad enough then next time you talk to him suggest going out for a bite to eat....If he says yes, he is interested. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 Texting is so impersonal and too much can't be said by text alone. If you want to get a sense of this guy call him up on your cell and talk to him. Sometimes guys can't make up their mind? If he's not interested or doesn't have the time to spend with you then you might want to consider moving on. People today spend too much time working so hard and forget about a life they can have. Then make all sorts of excuses why they can't meet you for coffee or etc. I have to press and push. I am very persistent and not easy to drop the subject. If you want to be with a person you going to need to know where you stand. If they're not sure about it then you need to say" WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE TIME TO SPEND OR FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT THEN YOU CALL ME OKAY" I know that might sound harsh but it has worked for me many times. The times I get them to say "MAYBE WE'LL GO OUT SOON?" This one is the worst I've heard. To answer this one "WELL I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO WASTE LIKE YOU THINK IF YOUR READY TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND THEN YOU CONTACT ME TO GO OUT!" Again you have to force them to give you a straight answer. This guy just not really to take you serious for anything. I would move on and find someone else that has the time for you and appreciates you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4blossoms Posted September 28, 2016 Author Share Posted September 28, 2016 (edited) There is no such thing as "mixed" signals. It's only confusion on your part because you are wishing they had an interest in you. They are not interested period. It's true if a guy was really interested in you he would be very forward about it. Do you think a guy would be forward if he has some social anxiety? I hear men with social anxiety are much less direct about making their feelings known. Edited September 29, 2016 by 4blossoms Link to post Share on other sites
leogirl876 Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 Do you think a guy would be forward if he has some social anxiety? I hear men with social anxiety are much less direct about making their feelings known. The bigger question is, do you really want a dude that has social anxiety? If he has anxiety, then there's a whole bunch of issues to deal with. And a man who isn't direct is not a masculine man, what feminine woman wants that? Link to post Share on other sites
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