Should I move on from this guy? Or give him another chance

[LoveRunLust]

The guy I'm dating stood me up this week and I got upset and have been being distant with him. Will he lose interest? I just felt hurt He left for 2 week job trip to China 2 days ago and he didn't even see me before he left. He asked to see me.But the day of our date he texts and says that he has more work to do and then stuff at home to do so he won't make it.

 

I responded with a cold ok and he kept saying sorry and I just said I understand and I've been just responding to him with short responses until he makes it up and asks me out on a proper date. Is it wrong that I'm being distant? I feel guilty for acting distant now:( Or should I move on from him?

[Nowty V]

Your title

 

Should I move on from this guy? Or give him another chanceSuggestsyou are ambivalent about him anyway.

 

what does it matter what you do?

[smudge21]

Why are you so doubting of his reasons and giving him grief for it. People do have to cancel and unless you have some other reason to doubt him, then I think you're turning this into something it isn't. If you like him and trust him, then accept what he told you and let it go. You are being cold and that will push him away - a person can only apologise so much before they get bored of doing so.

[Redhead14]

The guy I'm dating stood me up this week and I got upset and have been being distant with him. Will he lose interest? I just felt hurt He left for 2 week job trip to China 2 days ago and he didn't even see me before he left. He asked to see me.But the day of our date he texts and says that he has more work to do and then stuff at home to do so he won't make it.

 

I responded with a cold ok and he kept saying sorry and I just said I understand and I've been just responding to him with short responses until he makes it up and asks me out on a proper date. Is it wrong that I'm being distant? I feel guilty for acting distant now:( Or should I move on from him?

 

How long have you been dating the guy? If it's only been a couple of dates, you are being childish and immature. Preparing for a business trip to China is a big deal. There's lots to take care of at the office before he leaves and stuff that needs to be done at home as well. And, certainly, if it's a new dating scenario, he's not going to be making you a priority yet.

 

I just said I understand -- You don't understand and that's clear because you're being cold and distant . . .

 

until he makes it up and asks me out on a proper date -- Well, I wouldn't view it as him having to make it up to you. It's not like he owes you anything.

 

I feel guilty for acting distant now:( -- Nah, it's not guilt, it's reality setting in . . . you got all pissy and you thought he'd drop everything and run to you for fear of losing you . . . and when he didn't you're changing gears.

 

Just sit back and continue to observe. In the meantime, go out and have fun with friends, hobbies, activities, dating other people. If you've been dating for a little while and he has otherwise been consistent with communication and seeing you and this is the first time this has happened, what's the big deal?

 

Will he lose interest? -- He might if you keep being pissy and cold. Men don't appreciate pouty, immature women . . . a mature woman would have said, "Thanks for letting me know. I'm disappointed, of course, but I understand. Have a safe trip. I'll be looking forward to seeing you when you get back." If this guy hasn't given you any other reason to doubt him, give the guy a break.

Edited September 17, 2016 by Redhead14

[katiegrl]

 

**The guy I'm dating stood me up this week**.....

 

and I got upset and have been being distant with him.

 

Will he lose interest?

 

Why do you care that HE will lose interest?

 

He stood you up aka blew you off, and after only a few dates, that should be a dealbreaker!

 

*You* should have lost interest after that, immediate next.

 

But since you asked, the fact he blew you off and never even bother to reschedule or see you before he left, would indicate that he has *already* lost interest.

 

You need to lose him by nexting, blocking, deleting.

Edited September 17, 2016 by katiegrl

[Redhead14]

You should keep in mind that if this man does have a busy work schedule that involves traveling and is dating with the goal of having a long-term partner, he will be evaluating dating partners for their ability to support him and take care of things back home instead of leaving a woman home who is stewing over perceived sleights while he is gone and then dreading coming home to her.

[katiegrl]

You should keep in mind that if this man does have a busy work schedule that involves traveling and is dating with the goal of having a long-term partner, he will be evaluating dating partners for their ability to support him and take care of things back home instead of leaving a woman home who is stewing over perceived sleights while he is gone and then dreading coming home to her.

 

RH, are you suggesting that it is okay and acceptable for him to stand her up/blow her off?

 

What about that is acceptable to you?

 

I don't care how busy someone is, standing someone up after only a few dates is rude, inconsiderate and a dealbreaker.

 

Then to top it off he rescheduled then breaks it.

 

What am I missing?

[joyful]

OP, it's not clear if he stood you up or if he asked you out and then canceled last-minute because he had things to do before his trip to China.

 

if it was the latter, you sure have been doing a lot to punish this guy for traveling out of town for work.

[katiegrl]

OP, it's not clear if he stood you up or if he asked you out and then canceled last-minute because he had things to do before his trip to China.

 

if it was the latter, you sure have been doing a lot to punish this guy for traveling out of town for work.

 

OP clearly said he 'stood her up,' but I agree with ^^..... and now wondering if he stood her up first ....and after that made a date that he had to cancel?

 

OR

 

If he NEVER stood her up at all but simply canceled a date due to work.

 

Also agree if all he did was cancel a date, she is definitely over-reacting .

 

OP can you clarify?

[Redhead14]

RH, are you suggesting that it is okay and acceptable for him to stand her up/blow her off?

 

What about that is acceptable to you?

 

I don't care how busy someone is, standing someone up after only a few dates is rude, inconsiderate and a dealbreaker.

 

Then to top it off he rescheduled then breaks it.

 

What am I missing?

 

All this is easy to say . . . until you need to break a date.

 

I've traveled on business in the past and have had to break a date or two in my time. If it happens occasionally, that's fine. If it happens a couple of times, then you raise that flag. Stuff happens. Let's see what happens when he gets back.

 

He called her and explained the situation. He didn't just leave her hanging. I don't think a new dating partner should be kicked to the curb for maybe a one-time situation.

 

I'm not one for getting my panties in a wad over a guy I'd just started dating and didn't really have a reason to doubt yet. In fact, I'm not one for getting my panties in wad over a new dating partner for any reason. I'm just saying, so what, he cancelled. She can cut him off or she can sit back a see if he redeems himself. She has nothing to lose . . . by not going nuts. Unless she's got dating options lined up around the block, what's the big deal if she believes him this time and just sits back?

 

And, for God's sake, she should not reach out to him if she doesn't hear from him after his trip. Let him come to her and see if he redeems himself.

 

She hasn't really given us enough information . . . for instance, if she slept with him for the first time the last time they saw each other and now he's doing this, yeah, I'd be questioning it. If he's been dating her "well" up to now, she doesn't need to get all wound up unless she has other reasons not to trust him . . . she should let it go for now and continue to observe.

[katiegrl]

All this is easy to say . . . until you need to break a date.

 

I've traveled on business in the past and have had to break a date or two in my time. If it happens occasionally, that's fine. If it happens a couple of times, then you raise that flag. Stuff happens. Let's see what happens when he gets back.

 

He called her and explained the situation. He didn't just leave her hanging. I don't think a new dating partner should be kicked to the curb for maybe a one-time situation.

 

I'm not one for getting my panties in a wad over a guy I'd just started dating and didn't really have a reason to doubt yet. In fact, I'm not one for getting my panties in wad over a new dating partner for any reason. I'm just saying, so what, he cancelled. She can cut him off or she can sit back a see if he redeems himself. She has nothing to lose . . . by not going nuts. Unless she's got dating options lined up around the block, what's the big deal if she believes him this time and just sits back?

 

And, for God's sake, she should not reach out to him if she doesn't hear from him after his trip. Let him come to her and see if he redeems himself.

 

She hasn't really given us enough information . . . for instance, if she slept with him for the first time the last time they saw each other and now he's doing this, yeah, I'd be questioning it. If he's been dating her "well" up to now, she doesn't need to get all wound up unless she has other reasons not to trust him . . . she should let it go for now and continue to observe.

 

Thank you but I was not talking about him breaking a date. That is fine and perfectly understandable!

 

I was talking about the part before that, where she said he 'stood her up'. It's the first sentence of her original post.

 

Two separate things.

 

He first stood her up, then he rescheduled and cancelled the date. That is how I read it anyway, I may have misinterpreted.

 

It is him 'standing her up' that I think is a dealbreaker...not him having to cancel the rescheduled date.

 

Can't speak for anyone else, but it does not matter how invested I am or not.

 

Being stood up (meaning not showing up, no call cancelling) is rude and not acceptable to me.

Edited September 18, 2016 by katiegrl

[Redhead14]

Thank you but I was not talking about him breaking a date. That is fine and perfectly understandable!

 

I was talking about the part before that, where she said he 'stood her up'. It's the first sentence of her original post.

 

Two separate things.

 

He first stood her up, then he rescheduled and cancelled the date. That is how I read it anyway, I may have misinterpreted.

 

It is him 'standing her up' that I think is a dealbreaker...not him having to cancel the rescheduled date.

 

Can't speak for anyone else, but it does not matter how invested I am or not.

 

Being stood up (meaning not showing up, no call cancelling) is rude and not acceptable to me.

 

He didn't stand her up. He broke the date he asked her for before he was leaving for China. She called it being stood up. So I'd give him a pass.

 

If he "stood" her up, I'd tell her to block, delete. But, he didn't do that. The only thing I didn't like was the fact that he texted her that he needed to break the date. But, it seems that peeps are OK with texting about important things nowadays. I'm old fashioned and expect phone calls, but lots of people seem to think it's OK to text for just about anything.

 

And, my stance regarding the mature way to handle still stands . . . "I'm disappointed, but you have a good trip" . . . not pouting.

Edited September 18, 2016 by Redhead14

[katiegrl]

He didn't stand her up. He broke the date he asked her for before he was leaving for China. She called it being stood up. So I'd give him a pass.

 

If he "stood" her up, I'd tell her to block, delete. But, he didn't do that. The only thing I didn't like was the fact that he texted her that he needed to break the date. But, it seems that peeps are OK with texting about important things nowadays. I'm old fashioned and expect phone calls, but lots of people seem to think it's OK to text for just about anything.

 

Well she clearly said he stood her up so was going by what she actually said RH.

 

So I interpreted it as meaning he first stood her up, then rescheduled and cancelled.

 

Two separate scenarios.

 

But you could be right, it's unclear what she meant, it would be nice if OP came back and clarified.

[smackie9]

Being stood up is when your date doesn't show up without giving you a courtesy call/text to cancel. I agree the OP wasn't "stood up" The date was canceled....big difference. He had stuff he had to take care of which would be pretty legit, especially having to be away for two weeks. S^&% happens because life happens.

 

Sorry OP but you acted in a way that would be unacceptable to a potential suitor...ya you may have scared him off alright. No man wants that kind of drama in his life.

[katiegrl]

Well even if nothing becomes of what may have been a blossoming relationship, at least she has learned the proper meaning of being *stood up*.