BF ignored text because I seemed busy

[newheart]

As some of you know from my previous posts, I have relationship anxiety issues and often overthink/overreact, so I like to bounce things off of you guys.

 

Last night, I was on the phone with my BF briefly talking about something that happened during his work day and then our weekend plans. There was something that I had wanted to tell him specifically, but at the time I couldn’t remember what it was while we were on the phone. About twenty minutes in, I thought we were caught up and my kids were getting ready for their first day of school the next morning, so I said “Okay darling, well I just wanted to see how your day was, I will text you tomorrow” and he told me to have a good night and we said goodbye. Ten minutes later, I remembered what I wanted to tell him so I texted him (around 8:30 pm). It started with, “OMG omg omg – I just remembered …”. (The topic isn't really relevant, but it was about a species of tree that we found and liked while camping, and he wanted to plant one in his yard. I found 2 in my backyard yesterday )

 

He never responded and I was wondering if something was wrong, but I reminded myself that he’s never just ignored a text so when he had a moment he’d respond, even if it were the next morning.

 

Fast forward to this morning – nothing. I was (am) confused, it just isn’t like him to flat out ignore me. We don’t text all day long, but he always responds. At some point today, I started seriously thinking maybe he never got the text. Around 11:30 am, I texted him good morning and made a joke about last night’s text. Half hour later he responds, “Sorry, I had to take the dogs out and you seemed busy”.

 

Okay, he always needs to take his dogs out so how is that a factor? And how on earth did I seem busy if I was the one who initiated the text? Additionally, I clearly was eager to tell him this by how I started my text – does that seem at all that I am too busy for him? His comment seems passive aggressive (maybe because I ended the phone call?) to me, or a BS excuse.

 

I could kick myself because I immediately reacted by apologizing to him for seeming to be busy, but really, should I have? He then responded to the topic in my initial text last night, and followed up to my apology text with “no worries." I still feel that it wasn't right for him to ignore me because I 'seemed busy.' I feel that this can’t seriously be really about me being busy, and he was fine at the beginning of the phone call so all I can think is that at some point during our phone conversation, things changed. This is extremely frustrating though, I shouldn’t be having to decipher what his problem is.

 

We have plans tomorrow night – do I talk to him about it then in person? Do I call him tonight? Do I let this go because I am overreacting?

[GemmaUK]

Let it go, you're totally over-reacting.

 

You cut the call short - which was perfectly fine. You texted the thing you forgot to mention but it needed no answer and he knew you were busy with the kids anyway.

You said you would text him tomorrow on the call so aside from the in-between text then he was perfectly happy to wait until you were ready to text him the following day.

He was being respectful to you of the space you needed.

[Lorenza]

This is suuuuuch a small insignificant thing... Let go. If I was a guy I would have no patience for making problems out of nothing.

[newheart]

Thanks ladies... maybe I need to double up on my therapy, lol.

[ExpatInItaly]

I'll echo the others: simmer down, woman!

 

You're completely misinterpreting what he said, in my opinion. What is causing you to see things through such a negative filter?

[newheart]

I'll echo the others: simmer down, woman!

 

You're completely misinterpreting what he said, in my opinion. What is causing you to see things through such a negative filter?

 

Hi ExPat - I don't know, I guess the continuing struggle to overcome some issues from my past. But until you guys told me I was overreacting, I really thought I had a legitimate issue because I felt like his reason was an excuse.

 

I won't address it. Again, it seems the issue is clearly mine! Sigh.

 

Thank you!

[GemmaUK]

hey, don't be so hard on yourself - you asked the question. You've clearly had some pretty awful past experience so this is a learn while you date curve.

 

Keep asking the questions.

 

It's better to hold back - ask - think about it all before jumping in.

It's hard not to just jump in! We have all done that at times!

 

I always stick with the 'don't sweat the small stuff' phrase.

Plus if you did question your man over this - think what his reaction would be. Most likely a 'wtf' type reaction so you have to try to see it from his point of view too before you step in and say something.