Is being very physically active actually a turn off?

[4x4storm]

So growing up as a teenager I was a very skinny guy and teased by friends and family for it. I decided to hit the gym and after 3 years of hard work I went from 105 pounds (48KG) to 150 pounds (68KG). After doing this friends and family stopped all the teasing and started showing me much more respect.

 

But with women i'm not really sure how this all stands I'm at the gym about 5 days a week sometimes more or a little less depending on how busy I am. My ex girlfriend admitted she loved how physical I was in bed but would always throw a tantrum when I went to the gym even if we wern't planning to see each other that day.

 

So last night I tried a little experiment I updated my POF profile picture of myself at the gym and straight away my profile got spammed with views. But the strange thing? no messages back what so ever I like to target the girls a little on the chubby side as I love the extra weight on the hips but even they wouldn't respond.

 

I always hear women love a man that's in shape but i'm now starting to think it could be a turn off to some women?

[SpiralOut]

Some women might find it intimidating.

 

Plenty of women want a man who is in shape. They're out there.

[basil67]

I have to confess that back in my dating days, if I saw a guy with developed muscles, I'd think "he probably spends too much time at the gym" and pass.

[Blanco]

It's interesting how many misconceptions there are regarding people who weight train.

 

You can put on some quality muscle with a 3x/week routine that takes maybe a total of an hour per session if you're matching it with the proper diet.

 

People who spend hours and hours and hours in the gym basically boil down to the following:

 

- Professional bodybuilders who must focus on volume-heavy routines

- Powerlifters who put a crazy about of time into the technique aspect of the lifts (you'd be surprised how many working parts are involved with the basic lifts done correctly)

- People who are spending a great deal of time socializing (i.e. time-wasters)

- People who simply have the free time to be at the gym for many hours a week

 

I always think it's weird when someone is put off by a person spending maybe a total of 5-7 hours a week at the gym, but won't bat an eye at the co-worker who binge-watched Stranger Things in one night.

[Ruby Slippers]

A buff man is sexy to almost all women. But a guy showing off gym selfies screams insecure. Your fitness will show through normal clothes. Flaunting it reveals insecurity, and insecurity is weakness - not a quality that fires a woman up about a man.

[Popsicle]

I love men who are in shape but not vain or obsessed. Bring it on.

[SwordofFlame]

Women correct me if I'm wrong but I think its due to the following:

 

-Many women find the professional bodybuilder highly vascular look to be a turn off.

-Women assume you have no other hobbies other than spending time at the gym.

-Vain

-Some women just prefer tall skinny guys. (I've seen this stated in more than one profile)

-Some women are intimidated?

Edited August 27, 2016 by SwordofFlame

[4x4storm]

Some women might find it intimidating.

 

Plenty of women want a man who is in shape. They're out there.

 

I'm not big people don't even realize I go to the gym until I take my shirt off. Still a tall skinny guy

 

I love men who are in shape but not vain or obsessed. Bring it on.

 

I'm not crazy obsessed i'll easily throw away the gym for a night out with friends and family and I could care less about diet. I guess they just see my profile and automatically judge me oh well...

[Blanco]

Women correct me if I'm wrong but I think its due to the following:

 

-Many women find the professional bodybuilder highly vascular look to be a turn off.

-Women assume you have no other hobbies other than spending time at the gym.

-Vain

-Some women just prefer tall skinny guys. (I've seen this stated in more than one profile)

-Some women are intimidated?

 

- I think vascular is usually OK; it's a crazy amount of muscle mass that turns them off. The average woman's limit seems to be around what Chris Pratt looked like in that famous selfie for Guardians of the Galaxy prep.

 

- Possible, but I think this is more a concern of someone who's not terribly active themselves. As I said in my first post, I think it's a bit bonkers that someone who spends several hours in the gym can be considered weird, but the person who watches four or five hours of TV a night doesn't make someone blink twice.

 

- Yes, and I think this is where some dudes run into trouble. I'm not terribly cut up, but will be there probably within the next six months. I don't post anything relating to my gym activities and would feel weird posting shirtless selfies for a mass audience.

 

- Eh. Your mileage may vary, but most of the girls I've dated have said they don't really like the skinny guys. Not to say they want a fat dude, but most girls aren't 'bout those chicken legs and pancake rear end on a dude.

 

- I think this is a definite possibility if the woman isn't in great shape herself.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Any guy that has gym pictures and muscle selfies in his dating profile is a turn off. His body is irrelevant.

[shinycheek]

Great that you found the strength to do that even-thou you had to go true all of that growing up. Well done.

Its not standard that all women love certain shape.

Every one have their own taste.

 

Beside not just about shape.

Many times personality wins from all the shapes.

Our a cute look.

[elaine567]

Watching the Olympics I saw a lot of men with great bodies.

None of them being the "body beautiful" as mostly viewed by gym rats.

No huge veins, no bulky musculature, no horrible thick necks, just bodies that work to perfection and that is sexy.

[4x4storm]

It's just the BS of OLD is what i'm thinking I have more girls approach and talk to me and on the streets then these websites. Why I still use them is beyond me

[todreaminblue]

i was engaged to a body builder...i was a dancer at the time i met him.....he actually turned me off first meeting...like no attraction whatsoever...i thought he was arrogant and intimidating and vain.....once i found out though that he did volunteer work at a disability orphanage..i had a change of heart...

 

its fine to want to be as fit as you can be....i dont think however that a guy who is so into fitness would ever consider me a match...i have been proven to be wrong on this but i still feel the same way...i dont feel i could enhance their life....

 

i find vanity in men to be...very off putting..shallow and self absorbed...and men doing constant selfies...at a gym ...not my style of guy...im mor einto guys who do volunteer work for others...than work in creating muscle def......deb

[basil67]

I always think it's weird when someone is put off by a person spending maybe a total of 5-7 hours a week at the gym, but won't bat an eye at the co-worker who binge-watched Stranger Things in one night.

 

I'm totally up for the Stranger Things guy. Though I might seduce him before all the episodes end.

[Popsicle]

I'm not big people don't even realize I go to the gym until I take my shirt off. Still a tall skinny guy

 

 

 

I'm not crazy obsessed i'll easily throw away the gym for a night out with friends and family and I could care less about diet. I guess they just see my profile and automatically judge me oh well...

 

Oh well is right. You can't have everything. For example, I like guys who have bodies like you but they often don't like me because I'm skinny. They want chubby or body-building looking girls. Luckily I found my boyfriend on POF who is 6'2, 170 lbs and he loves that I'm skinny.

[Popsicle]

Watching the Olympics I saw a lot of men with great bodies.

None of them being the "body beautiful" as mostly viewed by gym rats.

No huge veins, no bulky musculature, no horrible thick necks, just bodies that work to perfection and that is sexy.

 

Yes! Athletes (not body builders) are HOT!

[HumanMachine]

You weigh 150lbs. I'll assume you're very short because at that weight you won't look like you lift at all.

[LookAtThisPOst]

A buff man is sexy to almost all women. But a guy showing off gym selfies screams insecure. Your fitness will show through normal clothes. Flaunting it reveals insecurity, and insecurity is weakness - not a quality that fires a woman up about a man.

 

Man, I wish I had a dime for every woman I saw do a gym selfie on Facebook. I'd be a rich man. LOL.

 

There's this one mid 40s woman that does this and for a 20-something I'd expect this, but for a 40-something, it's just some how not age appropriate. LOL

 

Looks quite silly. I recall her having "done with running with the dog" and she had a picture of herself sitting in the grass, with short shorts on, so you could see her crotch.

 

She also had a pic of her mom at the age of 70 on how "hot" her mom looks. Narcissism runs deeply in her generations apparently. lol

[LookAtThisPOst]

It's interesting how many misconceptions there are regarding people who weight train.

 

You can put on some quality muscle with a 3x/week routine that takes maybe a total of an hour per session if you're matching it with the proper diet.

 

People who spend hours and hours and hours in the gym basically boil down to the following:

 

- Professional bodybuilders who must focus on volume-heavy routines

- Powerlifters who put a crazy about of time into the technique aspect of the lifts (you'd be surprised how many working parts are involved with the basic lifts done correctly)

- People who are spending a great deal of time socializing (i.e. time-wasters)

- People who simply have the free time to be at the gym for many hours a week

 

I always think it's weird when someone is put off by a person spending maybe a total of 5-7 hours a week at the gym, but won't bat an eye at the co-worker who binge-watched Stranger Things in one night.

 

I'm actually surprise to have seen quite a few female competitive body builders on POF. They have quite a few photos with that little number tag on their bikini.

 

And I'm thinking, "Why does she need POF when she runs into guys at the events?!"

[Gr8fuln2020]

Watching the Olympics I saw a lot of men with great bodies.

None of them being the "body beautiful" as mostly viewed by gym rats.

No huge veins, no bulky musculature, no horrible thick necks, just bodies that work to perfection and that is sexy.

 

Yes. There are some women who are attracted to body-building types, but most of them tend to be "body building types" who spend just as much time in the gym as he/she does. I don't find such women too attractive. But the athletic body, with light to moderate resistance training of some sort, proper diet, muscle tone....that's what I'm talking about. I am very fit and looking for the same.

 

But to go back to the OP's original question, yes, some women are not interested in the person that spends HOURS in the gym. Sometimes it's b/c the ladies realize that their commitment to fitness is not or will not be the equal of that other person.

 

It is true that there are plenty of women who are looking for "fit" men, but not necessarily MUSCLE-exploding types. I have met and read a few probiles of women who stay away from body building types b/c, as one lady put it, "I am not impressed with men with huge muscles who cannot walk across a parking lot w/o breathing heavily." Oh, btw, some ladies want what they themselves will not commit to.

[4x4storm]

You weigh 150lbs. I'll assume you're very short because at that weight you won't look like you lift at all.

 

I'm 5'9 and actually weighing around 132 pounds atm stress and sickness this year is taking a toll on my body. And yeah people don't realize that I "lift" at all but I have the athletic look about me even at my current weight.

 

Man, I wish I had a dime for every woman I saw do a gym selfie on Facebook. I'd be a rich man. LOL.

 

There's this one mid 40s woman that does this and for a 20-something I'd expect this, but for a 40-something, it's just some how not age appropriate. LOL

 

Looks quite silly. I recall her having "done with running with the dog" and she had a picture of herself sitting in the grass, with short shorts on, so you could see her crotch.

 

She also had a pic of her mom at the age of 70 on how "hot" her mom looks. Narcissism runs deeply in her generations apparently. lol

 

Yeah i'm always hearing how women hate gym selfies but the amount of times I see a status or pictures about them working out makes me laugh.

 

The reason I took the photo was because I was just really happy that day so I wasn't worried what people were gonna say.

[Gr8fuln2020]

And I'm thinking, "Why does she need POF when she runs into guys at the events?!"

 

I would imagine that most of the men there are likely not looking for women with so much muscle. I don't care what some people say, a woman with too much muslce ceases to look feminine and attractive to me. In fact, they start to develop some features that remind me of as masculine.

 

Also, there is something to be said about dating people where one often frequents. It's like dating someone from work, if it doesn't work out, you see that person daily. I would imagine dating someone who is also involved in competitive body building is like that. Not comfortable knowing the guy you dated is at another event you entered...

[elaine567]

And I'm thinking, "Why does she need POF when she runs into guys at the events?!"

 

I would guess competitive body builders both male and female need a supporter, carer and fan as a partner and not another competitive prima donna.

One in the relationship is probably enough.

[dcamnc]

I've been over 200 lbs as an olympic lifter, and down to 133 as a road biker. Neither extreme was a hit with women. I've had much better luck with a normal in-between weight. My best luck was being in shape, but with a little chub (no six pack).