Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 After having a pretty bad experience w/a guy who said he was interested, then faded, I'm just trying to make sure I don't get into the same trap. I met a guy online and we have video chatted. We really like each other and one day plan on visiting one another. The thing I want to make sure is that he is genuinely interested. Once in awhile he doesn't text back for hours, usually he apologizes or I send him one text to see what is up w/him (I haven't said anything about his slow responses). Yesterday it took him a couple hours because he was trying to get his net to work to video chat w/me. He apologized and today again after texting a bit back and forth, no response for 3 hours. He isn't working today. Bad sign or not? Link to post Share on other sites
risjurad Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 After having a pretty bad experience w/a guy who said he was interested, then faded, I'm just trying to make sure I don't get into the same trap. I met a guy online and we have video chatted. We really like each other and one day plan on visiting one another. The thing I want to make sure is that he is genuinely interested. Once in awhile he doesn't text back for hours, usually he apologizes or I send him one text to see what is up w/him (I haven't said anything about his slow responses). Yesterday it took him a couple hours because he was trying to get his net to work to video chat w/me. He apologized and today again after texting a bit back and forth, no response for 3 hours. He isn't working today. Bad sign or not? Don't know. I try not to message back ASAP, as that might make me feel needy. I'm probably overthinking it, but... I think I may be feel the same the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 and one day plan on visiting one another. Those online virtual romance do not last. Why not find someone local. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 You "one day plan on visiting one another"? He's probably caught up in real life. Don't get romantically attached to someone who you can't have real relationship with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Just bc he isn't working doesn't mean he's not busy. Maybe the convo was dull and he didn't have anything to say. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 I'm sure there's more to his life than just you and work. I mean, busy people don't have time to sit and text back and forth all day about nothing. Why not sit back and relax and wait to see how long before he asks you out or starts a conversation and stop expecting him to answer roll call every few hours? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Don't know. I try not to message back ASAP, as that might make me feel needy. I'm probably overthinking it, but... I think I may be feel the same the other way around. Although this is hard for me, i will not message him till he messages me. Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Its only a couple of hours. Im a busy person and there was one point I had 3 people who were constantly texting me. People can be busy so give them a NOT just a few hours but a day or two. Try to show interest. You arent showing much interest adn for me if I am attracted to a woman and she is always distant and never initiates a convo. I would get tired and believe you werent interested and move on. Maybe thats why the last guy faded. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 When I am into a woman, I try to text back as soon as I am able. It's not about being needy or acting sauve/composed, it's about courtesy really. If I should to give texting as a means to communication, then I should be respectful enough to respond ASAP, not play games. Like others have said, he may be genuinely busy, but then again, he may be ignoring you for whatever reason and/or texting someone else (another girl). Who knows? Did the two of you talk about communication? Has he been like this from the start? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 When I am into a woman, I try to text back as soon as I am able. It's not about being needy or acting sauve/composed, it's about courtesy really. If I should to give texting as a means to communication, then I should be respectful enough to respond ASAP, not play games. Like others have said, he may be genuinely busy, but then again, he may be ignoring you for whatever reason and/or texting someone else (another girl). Who knows? Did the two of you talk about communication? Has he been like this from the start? We have not talked about communication, though when we video chat he is very into me. His friends came over the other day, so we had to cut the vid chat short, though later that night we video chatted again because he wanted to. The funny thing is when we started talking online, I got a vibe of him not being super interested, due to sporadic messages and comm from him, though we added each other on social media and started texting. I am almost getting used to the sporadic texts, but what I don't want happen is him fading on me. As I said he has shown a ton of interest, his texts are flirty, joking and asking what I like etc. Usually when we are both at work, we still text, but sometimes I take hours to respond and he does too, being busy and all. Link to post Share on other sites
leogirl876 Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 Be patient and see what happens. If it's only 3 hours, I wouldn't worry about it. If it's 3 days, like this one guy I met a couple months ago, then yes, because the 3 day later guy did disappear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 I met a guy online, we text back and forth everyday, though sometimes it takes hours for him to text back, most of the time he apologizes other times he answers as though nothing happened. We have video chatted quite a few times and each session lasts a couple hours. The problem w/that is he suggests we vid chat, then he forgets completely until I ask him (he is pretty much always open to vid chat). He never rushes me off vid chat and even chatted w/me 2x in one day because his friends came by. In the past guys acted interested, then laid off completely. Personally would this concern you? I suggested visiting him, but since the ticket is expensive for the day we set, I'm now going to wait for him to mention it again. During one of our early convos he mentioned having free tickets to an amusement park that he works at and finding cheap tickets to visit me. I really like him and we can talk on vid chat for hours on end. I just don't want to invest emotion/time in a guy far away who doesn't want what I want. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 I met a guy online, we text back and forth everyday, though sometimes it takes hours for him to text back, most of the time he apologizes other times he answers as though nothing happened. We have video chatted quite a few times and each session lasts a couple hours. The problem w/that is he suggests we vid chat, then he forgets completely until I ask him (he is pretty much always open to vid chat). He never rushes me off vid chat and even chatted w/me 2x in one day because his friends came by. In the past guys acted interested, then laid off completely. Personally would this concern you? I suggested visiting him, but since the ticket is expensive for the day we set, I'm now going to wait for him to mention it again. During one of our early convos he mentioned having free tickets to an amusement park that he works at and finding cheap tickets to visit me. I really like him and we can talk on vid chat for hours on end. I just don't want to invest emotion/time in a guy far away who doesn't want what I want. Dont invest too much time into a online/long distance relationship....treat him as a friend and go about your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 I just don't want to invest emotion/time in a guy far away who doesn't want what I want. Then don't. According to what you described it sounds like already you are investing too much for very little return. Especially on someone you haven't even met yet. Unless you are in a stage of your life where you are done school, can move your job and relocate to go be with a guy or vice versa then a long distance relationship will never work out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 I am done w/school, have a professional job and I would be willing to move to out to be w/someone. I am at the age where I am done dating around, just want to settle down and have a family. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Well giddy up then! I'd still let him make a little more effort though. I hope you meet soon and you fall in love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 The funny thing is that I soon as I feel there is no interest, he shows me some. For example yesterday he was busy, not texting much. I decided not to text him goodnight and he ended up texting me a sweet morning and night text message. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Sounds ike he's trying to gauge your interest level, guys play those games when they aren't sure where we stand and vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 (edited) I have told him I like him and he mentioned that he liked me. he also mentioned buying me dinner/cooking for me. Edited August 29, 2016 by Ilovelifeforwhatcome Link to post Share on other sites
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Ya...but he could still wants to know HOW interested you are, how invested and when he sees you aren't jumping hoops he chases you. He's doing the dance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 I'm just extremely confused on what he going to do to find out my interest level. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Looking back at your posting history with this guy, you're very over invested. You know how you're afraid to get hurt again? Well, your choices are heading you firmly in that direction. A person who you have never met should, at most, be just an option. If he doesn't message you often enough for your liking, just move on. Or accept the lower amount of messaging and be happy with it. But there's no sense getting worried about the messaging habits of a man who you're not even in a relationship with. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Yeah. It's a long shot - many things would be challenging in trying to have a relationship with someone who lives far away. Perhaps he knows this too and that's why he's hot and cold. I would not be investing much in this and would spend more time looking for someone closer who was available for a relationship. Sorry. I just think it's easy to think you have a "relationship" with someone long distance - who you have never met. Much harder to actually develop that relationship... Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 You say he is far away - say you started dating - how often will you be financially able to visit? Once/twice a month? If you're looking at long distance then you have to think about the costs involved for the next couple of years until you know each other well enough to make any decisions about moving. But as you haven't yet met him in person it's way too soon to be thinking this is anything more than just chatting and a bit of flirting. If the first date is too expensive then how will regular dates happen so that you can actually get to know each other? Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Where do you live? How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
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