Would anyone accept a date with someone who has previously rejected them?

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Hi

 

I have always said and thought that, if someone has rejected me, I will never take them back if they requested another chance. After all, sometimes the rejection is rather cold. Otherwise, rejection can hurt, and I often think, why waste time even entertaining the idea of giving someone a second chance if they did not give you a first chance? Especially when there are other opportunities out there.

 

Someone who about three or four years ago, use to complain that there weren't any " good and single woman" out there. I was like um... Am I single? Aah hello? I told him off for saying there aren't any " good and single woman"out there directly to a good and single woman... which was me. Like, dude, choose your audience.

 

He realised that he was being silly and asked me to " hang out". I thought this was a poor excuse to step up and ask a woman out properly instead of like a teenager. We " hung out" anyway, but he soon realised that he did not like me that way. No hard feelings. I moved on and went out with plenty of men on dates since and slept with a few even.

 

Now that he has dated a few woman and seen the failure of those relationships and partners, he said he wants nothing more than to hang out with me more often. I don't understand why, once you realise you don't like a woman, why go back? If you made your choice, you would stick to it. Right?

 

He texts me often, more than before. I just stopped dating someone just before, and he has shown a desire to go out. He has shown enormous interest.

 

I don't think I have changed much in those three or four years since he decided he was not interested, we've known each other for seven years over all, I just don't understand. If you've rejected someone, why would you change your mind?

 

I want to know why the sudden interest. I guess it's a valid question to ask. Sometimes I wonder if it's because none of the other girls he liked, wanted him back, maybe he just thinks I will always " just be there." Maybe he's desperate, horny and lonely. Maybe he does actually like me. Can men change their minds as well as their hearts?

 

I am not bound to anyone in particular. I don't want to interrogate this guy, but I am suspicious. I just don't understand. If you reject someone, there is usually a reason for it, and I just don't get it why you would suddenly go from not interested, to interested.

 

Has anyone ever rejected someone, only to pine for them later and realise your mistake? Or has anyone accepted someone's interested even after they had shown none before or even rejected you before?

 

so confusing

[JewelD]

I've never wanted somebody I rejected.

 

I think this guy is just bored and tired of going on crappy dates so he's thinking, hey, this chick likes me, let me go and get some validation from her until something better comes along.

 

From your story, it doesn't sound like he even considered you an option with his "no good single women" statement. He wasn't trying to insult you, but he obviously didn't see you as a good single woman that he would want to date. and if you got upset over that statement, perhaps he felt bad and that's why he asked you to 'hang out'.

 

I wouldn't go out with him. You won't get anything out of it but a free meal and sex.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

I've never wanted somebody I rejected.

 

I think this guy is just bored and tired of going on crappy dates so he's thinking, hey, this chick likes me, let me go and get some validation from her until something better comes along.

 

From your story, it doesn't sound like he even considered you an option with his "no good single women" statement. He wasn't trying to insult you, but he obviously didn't see you as a good single woman that he would want to date. and if you got upset over that statement, perhaps he felt bad and that's why he asked you to 'hang out'.

 

I wouldn't go out with him. You won't get anything out of it but a free meal and sex.

 

Hahaha love you cut-throat honesty! thanks my feelings and thoughts confirmed! It's how I exactly feel as well!

[mbee]

To answer your original question, yes I would. I've been interested in guys who I was uninterested in before. Nothing personal. I had a type or a guy I thought I liked and I realised I was wrong. Or maybe something about the guy initially turned me off and I judged him too hastily.

 

The bigger question is are you interested? If you really like this guy, what's the risk in just going on a date. If you don't like him, then it doesn't matter, just tell him you aren't interested and move on.

 

There's a reason for that saying, "sometimes the person right for you is in front of you the whole time." Not many of us have the maturity or personal insight to realize the right person for us is a friend, coworker or whomever. Some of us chase butterflies and chemistry and miss the obvious compatibility with a person we dated/just friends with. If I was good friends with a guy and he realized he had feelings for me years later after rejecting me, and I was open to dating him, I'd be a little cautious but I'd give him a chance. Again, what's the worst that could happen?

 

I'd be worried if this guy rejected you months or weeks ago, but as it's been 3-4 years, it's possible he had a sincere change of heart and realized that you grasp all the qualities he wants in a woman. Keep in mind he may have had this change of heart earlier but might have been embarrassed to tell you for fear that you wouldn't take it seriously. Just a thought.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

To answer your original question, yes I would. I've been interested in guys who I was uninterested in before. Nothing personal. I had a type or a guy I thought I liked, and I realised I was wrong. Or maybe something about the guy initially turned me off, and I judged him too hastily.

 

The bigger question is, are you interested? If you like this guy, what's the risk in just going on a date? If you don't like him, then it doesn't matter, just tell him you aren't interested and move on.

 

There's a reason for that saying, "sometimes the person right for you is in front of you the whole time." Not many of us have the maturity or personal insight to realize the right person for us is a friend, co-worker or whomever. Some of us chase butterflies and chemistry and miss the obvious compatibility with a person we dated/just friends with. If I was good friends with a guy and he realized he had feelings for me years later after rejecting me, and I was open to dating him, I'd be a little cautious, but I'd give him a chance. Again, what's the worst that could happen?

 

I'd be worried if this guy rejected you months or weeks ago, but as it's been 3-4 years, it's possible he had a sincere change of heart and realized that you grasp all the qualities he wants in a woman. Keep in mind he may have had this change of heart earlier but might have been embarrassed to tell you for fear that you wouldn't take it seriously. Just a thought.

 

 

Am I interested? Possibly but I would want him to prove to me how sincere he is. After all, from my perspective, I have never chased a guy whom I have rejected as there was a reason for it. He had seven years to make up his mind, three or four years ago, as far as I'm concerned, he made his decision, and he made it very clear what category he put me into.

 

 

I am into men who go for the girls they like rather than twiddle their thumbs and um and ahh on the sidelines. He had been taking forever to " make up their mind" about how he felt and then sheepishly ask to " hang out" rather than take the bull by the horns and ask me out like adult men tend to do.

 

Rejection hurts and stings a little. I haven't forgotten. I've been rejected hundreds of times; I never see the backs of those I have rejected, and I never see the guys who rejected me again. Which is why it's most peculiar for someone to change their mind about someone they discounted a long time ago.

[todreaminblue]

i agree with mbee....personally i believe change of heart is possible and not even rare....and i think if you still have an interest its worth pursuing....some times it isnt the right time.....but the right time migth be now...but you wont knwo that unless you take a chance on accepting a date...i dont feel that desperation or lack in the pool of dates is a consideration...i believe in changes of heart.......especially in the years bracket....in my opinion its a strong possibility.......its really down to how you feel now...isnt it?...and if you like him still ......dont do the you hurt me now i reject you game...just go for it...and accept a date...make it clear though..its not a hang out.....deb

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

i agree with mbee....personally I believe change of heart is possible and not even rare....and i think if you still have an interest its worth pursuing....some times it isn't the right time.....but the right time might be now...but you won't know that unless you take a chance on accepting a date...i don't feel that desperation or lack in the pool of dates is a consideration...i believe in changes of heart.......especially in the years bracket....in my opinion its a strong possibility.......its really down to how you feel now...isn't it?...and if you like him still ......don't do the you hurt me now i reject you game...just go for it...and accept a date...make it clear though..its not a hang out.....deb

 

I know, but it is hard to trust a guy that did not even give you a chance in the first place. That's why I find it so confusing. What's so great about me now that he couldn't see three or four years ago? What's so great about me now that he could not see seven years ago when he should have and could have had his chance? He wasted a good opportunity, what's not to say he won't have a change of heart again and reject me again?

 

I am very cautious about men who do this to a woman, and I don't think he is any different unless he miraculously proves that he is sincere.

[Shining One]

I've been rejected hundreds of times

Can you tell me how you're defining rejection? I'm guessing you don't mean you've asked out hundreds of men and they've rejected you.

[todreaminblue]

I know, but it is hard to trust a guy that did not even give you a chance in the first place. That's why I find it so confusing. What's so great about me now that he couldn't see three or four years ago? What's so great about me now that he could not see seven years ago when he should have and could have had his chance? He wasted a good opportunity, what's not to say he won't have a change of heart again and reject me again?

 

I am very cautious about men who do this to a woman, and I don't think he is any different unless he miraculously proves that he is sincere.

 

hey daisy.....i ejected a guy then two years later i had thought about him often...it wasnt the right time.....i was still in love with my ex...so i had feelings for someone else....my family hadnt gotten over the break up..so there were quite a few reasons why i rejected him......

two years later i came across him again on another site.....and i contacted him and yes i accepted a date this time when he reasked..............needless to say .....he wasnt the right guy for me......but i gave it that chance.....i rejected for the right reasons the first time..i wasnt playing games...and i wasnt desperate for a date...i had guys asking me out..quite a few....

 

you really dont know the reasons why ...there may be legitimate reasons....like there were for me....the only real way to know..is give it a shot....i believe in changes of heart because i have had some mighty ones....as i am sure you have had a change of heart and mind over the years....i just feel daisy....that having what if i had....in your thoughts....isnt as peaceful...as i tried ......i gave my best...

 

 

you can be cautious...cautious is good anyway...one day at a time...one date at a time is what i would recommend anyway....taking it slow has a beauty all of its own....

get to trust him by knowing how he is now rather than how he was years ago.......and i wish you nothin but the best...deb

[Versacehottie]

To answer your original question, yes I would. I've been interested in guys who I was uninterested in before. Nothing personal. I had a type or a guy I thought I liked and I realised I was wrong. Or maybe something about the guy initially turned me off and I judged him too hastily.

 

The bigger question is are you interested? If you really like this guy, what's the risk in just going on a date. If you don't like him, then it doesn't matter, just tell him you aren't interested and move on.

 

There's a reason for that saying, "sometimes the person right for you is in front of you the whole time." Not many of us have the maturity or personal insight to realize the right person for us is a friend, coworker or whomever. Some of us chase butterflies and chemistry and miss the obvious compatibility with a person we dated/just friends with. If I was good friends with a guy and he realized he had feelings for me years later after rejecting me, and I was open to dating him, I'd be a little cautious but I'd give him a chance. Again, what's the worst that could happen?

 

I'd be worried if this guy rejected you months or weeks ago, but as it's been 3-4 years, it's possible he had a sincere change of heart and realized that you grasp all the qualities he wants in a woman. Keep in mind he may have had this change of heart earlier but might have been embarrassed to tell you for fear that you wouldn't take it seriously. Just a thought.

 

Agreed and OP says she hasn't changed in the 3-4 years but guess what he probably has. That could be why he realizes you are a gem. I think this is what women don't seem to get: for lots of guys timing has a lot to do with it. He may have not been ready to be seriously dating or appreciate much other than a hookup.

 

Yeah if you like him what is the worst that could happen?

 

I think you need to know if you like him. I wouldn't just give him any old chance. what do YOU want? I would also presume that he sees something special in you. It's a little cynical to presume that he just got tired of dating and you're right in front of him in a convenient way. I mean you know you have something to offer. Credit to him for having good taste. Even if it took him a while to cultivate it. Anyway, i would go. I know a few couples who are together together from this type of scenario. I was trying to think of if this has ever happened to me--super tired so not thinking well--but maybe not so direct rejected but stalled and then suddenly were ready to move forward. Pretty much think that happens if you give credence to the fact that sometimes the timing is just not right. If you do give him a chance, try to clean the slate--there is no point in letting insecurity and doubt color the beginning of any relationship. Good luck

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Can you tell me how you're defining rejection? I guess you don't mean you've asked out hundreds of men, and they've rejected you.

 

Just when you have feelings for a guy and he like goes for you physically but doesn't want to make you into his girlfriend. That kind of hump and dump, using thing...

 

Or when you emotionally invest in someone, you tell them that you have feelings for them, you put your pride and heart on the line, and they tell you that they are not interested in a relationship or don't see you that way.

 

That's happened so many times I've lost count. Or.. you even date someone exclusively for a couple of years, and they don't invest half as much as you're willing to invest in them, and they start treating you like garbage. There are hurt and rejection in that too.

 

Or even the PROSPECT of dating someone, and they confirm that they aren't interested in you and won't give you a chance...

 

Yeah, it's happened lots. And usually, they move on quicker than you and don't contact you.

 

I'm a big girl, I'll get over it, and I usually have, but I often don't consider men who have rejected me. I just don't see the point. Unless they have an excellent reason for wanting to date you again and they're willing to do it for real and put their big boy pants on and eat a bit of humble pie and ask you sincerely and respectfully like an adult.

 

I'm a little angry actually. This guy has known me for years. Now he's acting like I'm this beautiful person and option. It's bizarre. I'm wondering if I should ask " what gives?"

[Mystique01]

I think for me it would depend on WHY the guy rejected me in the first place.....and how he did it. (ie. Respectful vs. Cruel)

 

Sometimes I think that we take rejections a little too personally, when in reality we should keep in mind that someone's "rejection" of us actually has little to do with us, and more to do with THEM. For whatever reason, that person just didn't think you two would be a good fit. That could be due to the person's own superficial reasons (ie. Not their type), or, it could be due to other reasons that have absolutely nothing to do us (ie. Not over an ex, not really wanting a serious relationship at the moment, interested in someone else more at the time, looking for something else in an SO at the time, don't feel we're compatible, emotionally unavailable, etc). Either way, it really has less to do with US, and more to do with them.

 

I have been in the situation where a guy was interested in me, but because I was still madly in love with my ex at the time, I quickly cut things off with him after 4 dates. Again, it had nothing really to do with him (he was a sweet guy), but more to do with where I was emotionally at the time (my ex really did a number on me). In fact, I always tell my friends that had that guy appeared in my life a year after I completely got over the pain of my ex, I would have been in a better position to entertain his advances. I've even been in the situation where I was secretly in love with a guy friend of mine, but he was always pining after another girl he liked more. Needless to say, their relationship was always DRAMA. Years later, after things with them went south, I could tell that his feelings towards me had changed somewhat, and he started pursuing me more. So it CAN happen. People have changes of heart all the time.

 

For me it depends on WHY the guy rejected me in the first place, and also HOW he rejected me. I might give a guy a second chance if his feelings towards me have changed, but it would have to be based on what our previous history has been like.

Edited August 24, 2016 by Mystique01

[ashy555]

This actually happened to me. I rejected a guy a few years ago. I just wasn't interested and always distracted by someone else.

 

Few years down the track i developed a major crush on him and asked him out. He said yes and my feelings grew even stronger. In the end it didn't work out on his behalf as he didn't feel the same. I was pretty devastated but I was absolutely genuine. I woke up and realised I had been going for the wrong men this whole time. I understood that chemistry CAN develop and that if I wanted to meet a great man I had to try work on changing my mentality and the men i go for. Maybe he is genuine or maybe he is just bored. I think you should give it a shot if you are feeling it. Just be extremely weary and be honest with him.

[ashy555]

I know, but it is hard to trust a guy that did not even give you a chance in the first place. That's why I find it so confusing. What's so great about me now that he couldn't see three or four years ago? What's so great about me now that he could not see seven years ago when he should have and could have had his chance? He wasted a good opportunity, what's not to say he won't have a change of heart again and reject me again?

 

I am very cautious about men who do this to a woman, and I don't think he is any different unless he miraculously proves that he is sincere.

 

4 years is enough time for someone to mature. Maybe you possess all the qualities he is looking for in a woman. You never know. I believe these things are still worth a shot especially if you are interested. Just don't go in with high expectations. See what happens and definitely ask him why he has changed his mind.

 

Maybe he developed some spontaneous feelings.. it happened to me

Edited August 24, 2016 by ashy555

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

4 years is enough time for someone to mature. Maybe you possess all the qualities he is looking for in a woman. You never know. I believe these things are still worth a shot especially if you are interested. Just don't go in with high expectations. See what happens and definitely, ask him why he has changed his mind.

 

Maybe he developed some spontaneous feelings.. it happened to me: laugh:

 

In the past, men have rejected me, and when they do come back, as one in particular, only wanted sex and made it clear that is all he wanted. I, on the other hand, had sincere feelings for him; his feelings were less than genuine.

 

I'm not going to assume all men are the same, but I don't give my heart to anyone UNLESS they show themselves to be sincere. If men have rejected me in the past, then yes, I expect them to prove it. After all, if you get a door slammed in your face, why open the door just because they start knocking?

 

I have a bit of a fear of intimacy which is deeply associated with my fear of rejection as I have experienced over and over. I am willing to adjust into a relationship slowly with the help of a patient partner as I have been single for an incredibly long time. But I don't think I could suffer another blow like being rejected again. It does my head in!

 

The truth is, I am interested in him, but I am a little baffled by the sudden turnaround. I think it's not unreasonable to ask exactly why he has changed his mind. We have only just started hanging out again in the last. I don't know, maybe six months? He's moved closer to where I live.

Last time we spoke about dating, it was because he was agonizing over there not being cute enough, single Christian girls available. I was thinking "excuse me?" Right here buddy, right here. The wrong person to complain to.

 

That's when I said to him " well don't confess to a single Christian woman about there is no available Christian single woman. That's unfair and obviously not correct. You could have asked me out if you wanted to, but instead, you didn't so don't complain to me about that please it's quite disrespectful. You have most definitely chosen the wrong audience."

 

Later I told my best friend, who then emailed him privately ( she has known him for quite some years. And I didn't know she had emailed him) to give me a chance. That I was a great woman and a great opportunity and not taking that opportunity would be a shame.

 

He then decided to give it ago, but then realised he in his own words " better off as friends " or that " he didn't know"...

 

so here we are, three or four years later, and he is the one emailing, texting and calling for us to hang out, making arrangments to see me, wanting to go out to dinner or the pub, going for walks, etc. Usually I would just put it down to boredom or liking my company. But something tells me in my gut to not believe in that thought.

 

I'm overwhelmed by his attention as I have never received this much attention from any guy let alone someone that seemed either indifferent or not interested before.

 

When I told my best friend about it, she told me to give him the flick. That it was all, too little and too late. He had his chance, and that leopards never change their spots. If he couldn't make up his mind then, he'll probably screw you (me)around and change his mind later down the track.

 

I believed what she was saying was true.

 

I cannot help but be suspicious I am willing to give him a second chance, but only if he proves to be sincere and honest, rather than unsure and indifferent. I don't want to be screwed around again.

[Toodaloo]

Daisy.

 

Lighten up.

 

When you are friends with someone we tend to see them as sexless. So it often doesn't occur to guys to be interested in a girl he is friends with. By being friends you are not a "good single woman" you are Daisy! Then when you point out that you are in fact female and a great person as they well know because they are friends with you... Boom... Light bulb....! Oh yeah! She is a girl and they start to notice!!!

 

If he wants it make him work for it. Don't hold your hopes up. Just be yourself and quit over thinking everything. It will drive you insane!

 

He can only screw you around if you let him. So the simple answer to this is don't let him. At the first glimpse of him being an a hole put him back in his place and tell him he is free to go...

 

I think this guy just had a light bulb "Holy crap Daisy is a girl and actually pretty damned special" moment.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Daisy.

 

Lighten up.

 

When you are friends with someone we tend to see them as sexless. So it often doesn't occur to guys to be interested in a girl he is friends with. By being friends you are not a "good single woman" you are Daisy! Then when you point out that you are in fact female and a great person as they well know because they are friends with you... Boom... Light bulb....! Oh yeah! She is a girl and they start to notice!!!

 

If he wants it make him work for it. Don't hold your hopes up. Just be yourself and quit over thinking everything. It will drive you insane!

 

He can only screw you around if you let him. So the simple answer to this is don't let him. At the first glimpse of him being an a hole put him back in his place and tell him he is free to go...

 

I think this guy just had a light bulb "Holy crap Daisy is a girl and actually pretty damned special" moment.

 

Thanks it's what I needed to hear

[Gr8fuln2020]

In this case, I would never say never, but I recently rejected an offer to continue to resume communication (not quite the same) with a woman that I had been communicating with some interest. She suddenly stopped responding to my messages and was clearly ignoring them. The fact of the matter is that her disappearance helped me finalize my doubts about having a relationship with her, so not losing any sleep over it.

 

Ultimately, it depends on the quality of the person (on line, on paper). I actually dated someone who wasn't quite certain about me, said our online good byes only to have her come back and ask if I was still interested. Mind you, this was only after 2-3 messages back and forth, so nothing was established really. If we had been messaging for a week, consistently and talking about how wonderfully we both were to each other and suddenly...POP...disappearance or "no longer interested," I would be far less inclined to commit.

[Toodaloo]

Thanks it's what I needed to hear

 

I have had one of my friends actually turn round and say, I quote, "f***, you are a woman, weird but I have never noticed before..." another friend (also male) pointed out with boobs as big as mine its hard not to... The conversation disintegrated from there until I pointed out that there was a traitor in the group driving a red tractor to distract them...

 

I know we women are brought up to believe that men think about sex every 5 seconds and are rampaging bulls lead by their penis'... but guys? Well they are just guys. They actually think about loads of other stuff and sometimes when they meet people and become friends with them it takes a bat to their heads to actually notice that they are talking to a really pretty, single fun girl who also likes muscle cars or whatever... They are just zoned in on the muscle cars...

 

Like I say get him to do the work and see how it goes. Just make sure that you take a zero tolerance attitude to this one.

[nns91]

I am in the opposite position....I am the one who got rejected. If one asks me right now, would I give this person a shot if she comes around, I would say yes. I feel like this is just the wrong time for her to start a relationship as she is occupied with grad school applications and also trying to figure out herself. This could why she rejected me (even though I did not ask to start a relationship immediately).

 

She told me that it was her lost for not giving me a shot since she saw me as a great guy but she did not feel enough spark between us. Could it be possible that she is still attracted to the bad boy image that she has always been attracted to? Many of these guys have let her down as she said. Would she one day be able to see through things and think differently?

[Toodaloo]

I am in the opposite position....I am the one who got rejected. If one asks me right now, would I give this person a shot if she comes around, I would say yes. I feel like this is just the wrong time for her to start a relationship as she is occupied with grad school applications and also trying to figure out herself. This could why she rejected me (even though I did not ask to start a relationship immediately).

 

She told me that it was her lost for not giving me a shot since she saw me as a great guy but she did not feel enough spark between us. Could it be possible that she is still attracted to the bad boy image that she has always been attracted to? Many of these guys have let her down as she said. Would she one day be able to see through things and think differently?

 

For goodness sake please just take it as a no though and do not push the subject further... Please do not become the "slap on the ass" guy because I was absolutely gutted when he did that... I also miss my friend...

[Michelle ma Belle]

Hmm...normally I'm not one who ever goes backwards. If someone wasn't smart enough to realize what he had when he could have had it then that's his loss, not mine. I'm the main event and I never settle for second place with anyone for any reason.

 

That doesn't mean I'm a b*tch about it or feel a need to play out some delayed revenge fantasy if/when a guy comes back wiser about what he lost. It is what it is and I'm all too happy to discuss it with him so that we're clear about things. There is no need to make mountains out of molehills after all.

 

At the same time, coming back many years later does change things slightly. I agree that it would really depend on why he rejected me in the first place. How that all played out etc. If he came back and was honest with me about his mistake and declared his interest in me I may be open to it seeing where it would go but only if he rose to the challenge and put his money where is mouth is. His actions will tell all.

 

Regardless of anything, I wouldn't give it up so easily that's for sure and I certainly wouldn't allow him to just sneak back in like nothing ever happened. Rejection sucks and I'm of the mind that communication, no matter how uncomfortable or awkward is necessary for putting closure on the past and moving forward.

 

You want me back? Then lets talk about it and SHOW me how much you want me back.

[preraph]

I'd say no. I'd be afraid they were just desperate to get laid.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Would anyone accept a date with someone who has previously rejected them?

 

 

 

Of course they would.

 

 

Unless you are fool enough to think that some prince on a white horse is gonna gallop up to your duplex in the middle of Youngstown, Ohio, only to sweep you up and take you to his mansion in the sky... then you'd better start realizing that mating is more about (statistical) convenience and proximity than you ever believed, back when you were a 13yo first thinking about your soulmate.

 

 

SO, statistically speaking... it MAY be realistic to (understand) that some random man once held Marcia Brady in a higher light than he held you, at that time (is all we really *know*).

 

 

Thus, if Marcia Brady subsequently marries somebody else, it really IS fair that this random guy has renewed interest in you, regardless of (the emotional downer it was, back when he rejected you because he has his sights set on Marcia Brady).

 

 

You don't have to let him in...

 

 

But to reject him for what is basically stuff you learned in Middle School math (in between teen romance novels read each night) is probably foolish.

[central]

It depends on the reason and circumstances. If they rejected me because they were - unknown to me - in a relationship, and later were not, then I probably would date them if the opportunity arose, and would respect their integrity. There may be other good reasons to reconsider someone at a later time.