sandy1234 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) Been with him for almost a year. Long distance by the way. His a great guy. But now it's different. He recently fell into a financial situation. His job has reduced to less than 40hours. And he has a lot of bills to pay for. His trying to get a job but can't really find one because of the dui he got a year ago. He had 1 beer and got got a dui. The cops stopped him for his signal light. Then saw an empty beer can from the past day. That's how he got a dui. He's not recless or anything. So he has a lot of things to pay for. He is so stressed. He is constantly thinking how to get money and all. It's affecting our relationship he doesn't call much these days. He tells me his stressed and doesn't know how to be happy. Right now. I know financial problems are the worst but.....I don't know. I understand what his going through. But for me I feel really neglected and I don't know how to adjust to this for the meantime while he goes through his financial phase. I mean am hurting. I just wish he would understand how I feel instead of just concentrating on his problems. I have talked to himy but he usually says I wish u would understand how it feels to be in a terrible financial situation. Edited August 24, 2016 by sandy1234 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) So, he'd just had a beer or he had an old open can? I don't think you're being told the truth about the DUI. How well do you really know him? Edit: your BF has an alcohol problem. It's only a matter of time before he gets in further trouble. It's not a wonder he's having financial issues on top of physical issues (ED). Surely you can do better? Edited August 24, 2016 by MidwestUSA 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I'm with Midwest. A DUI b/c he had a can of beer from a previous night??? Come on. I doubt that a police officer cited him for a DUI b/c of that. He would have had to go through a sobriety test, possibly a breathalyzer. The policer can't (no legally) just give you a citation for a DUI w/o some defined evidence to show that you are intoxicated. It sounds like there is more to this that I am not aware of, so will refrain from making any other comments. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 All I am hearing from this guy is excuses and wineing. Urgh... Not even worth saying woe is you for having to put up with it... Oh wait! You DON'T have to put up with it! Happy days! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 His trying to get a job but can't really find one because of the dui he got a year ago. He had 1 beer and got got a dui. The cops stopped him for his signal light. Then saw an empty beer can from the past day. That's how he got a dui. He's not recless or anything. Stop making excuses for this guy. People don't get DUI's for drinking ONE beer. And anyone who has a freakin EMPTY BEER CAN in their car says a whole lot about them - and none of it good. You're real naive if you believe this guy is just a victim of circumstance. He's not. He's got a drinking problem and it's catching up to him, plain and simple. Deny it all you want, but the rose colored glasses you're wearing will eventually come off and you'll see this guy has created his OWN mess. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 saw an empty beer can from the past day. Oh so he was drinking and driving the previous day but not the day the cops caught him? That makes it OK...? Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Oh so he was drinking and driving the previous day but not the day the cops caught him? LOL...this guy drinks EVERY day. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I've never heard of a man getting a DUI after drinking only one beer. What did he blow on the breathalyzer? He's full of it. Have you ever met him in person? Link to post Share on other sites
bighearted Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I've never heard of a man getting a DUI after drinking only one beer. What did he blow on the breathalyzer? He's full of it. Have you ever met him in person? Depends on his age. In Texas, if you're under 21 and drive with ANY detectible amount of alcohol in your system you can receive a DUI. DWI is driving with a BAC over .08. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I agree with everyone who says this guy has bigger issues with drinking than he's letting on and that you're making all sorts of excuses for him. At the same time, you sound whiny and appear to want to make this about you when it's clear he's in over his head with issues that have nothing to do with you. We all the power to change our circumstances. That includes you. Don't like it? Then do something about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sandy1234 Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Am not making excuses. He lives texas. In Texas you can get a dui over one beer..even half a beer..and the can that was left in his car I was the one who was drinking that peer on the passenger side. People make mistakes you can't tell me you have never a mistake and got in trouble for it. I can't dump him just because he got a dui for having 1 bottle of beer. There are people out there who drive intoxicated with bottles of liquor. He always gets uber when he knows his in bad shape to drive. He was just unlucky that day that he got pulled over. And the beer issue is not what am concerned about right now. I just needed some thoughts on how to deal with people who are stressed out like stated in my original post. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Am not making excuses. He lives texas. In Texas you can get a dui over one beer..even half a beer..and the can that was left in his car I was the one who was drinking that peer on the passenger side. People make mistakes you can't tell me you have never a mistake and got in trouble for it. I can't dump him just because he got a dui for having 1 bottle of beer. There are people out there who drive intoxicated with bottles of liquor. He always gets uber when he knows his in bad shape to drive. He was just unlucky that day that he got pulled over. And the beer issue is not what am concerned about right now. I just needed some thoughts on how to deal with people who are stressed out like stated in my original post. And...you just shut up every one that was blaming him! A lot(if not most folks) in the dating section,of this site, are quick to judge.. They're bitter,old and single or whatever..Constant critics..Jesus! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 A quick Google search tells me that his blood alcohol level must be over 0.08 to get a DUI. If one beer put him over, then he must have been over the limit from the night before. In which case, he shouldn't have considered driving. Given his history with alcohol, if you want to help, tell him that you will only stay if he stops drinking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 A quick Google search tells me that his blood alcohol level must be over 0.08 to get a DUI. If one beer put him over, then he must have been over the limit from the night before. In which case, he shouldn't have considered driving. Given his history with alcohol, if you want to help, tell him that you will only stay if he stops drinking. One beer will/is .08..Can you drive after one beer/glass of wine,ect? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sandy1234 Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Like it's a process for people to stop their bad habits. You just can't wake up one night and say choose either me or this. If I had a problem I wouldn't want my patner to put me on the spot. That's not good. Like you have to work through it with him or her and see if you can compromise on somethings. You just can't end a relationship just like that. Easier sayed than done. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 One beer will/is .08..Can you drive after one beer/glass of wine,ect? It would be a rare person who hits 0.08 with one drink. I drank 'professionally' on a taste panel, and one beer might get me to a 0.05 for a very brief period. (We had to blow before we could leave, so we were always playing with the machine). But, anyway, it seems that OP doesn't see the connection between alcohol and her BF's money issues, so I'll bow out. You can't compromise with addictions, not when someone is headed to rock bottom. I'm assuming OP and BF are young, it's not a good way to start adult life. Sad. BTDT more than once, got Tshirts, will sell. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Like it's a process for people to stop their bad habits. You just can't wake up one night and say choose either me or this. If I had a problem I wouldn't want my patner to put me on the spot. It's called an intervention. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts