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This is nuts. Long story ahead!


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I’m still processing this one. I finally met this guy last night that I’ve been talking to for, awhile. I don’t even know how long. A few months. Why did it take so long for us to meet? Well after meeting him, I now understand why he hesitated. And I already know why I was hesitating- he gave me the impression a few times that he was only interested in casually hooking up- although he’d then keep reassuring me that wasn’t the case. And because of his work schedule he was always asking me out at the last minute, and I’m kind of a stickler about that for the first date. But finally I thought, enough is enough, let’s see if we have actual chemistry.

 

Nothing about our conversation was normal. That’s good to know right off the bat. But right away, meeting him, it feels like I’ve known him for years, and felt attracted to him. He was limping while walking up to meet me, gives me a big hug and I ask “what did you do to yourself??” And he goes into this story about how he was fixing his friend’s cabin last weekend and a beam broke and he fell ten feet or something. I think- “cool he has a friend with a cabin in the mountains AND double cool, he can build things”.

 

That turns into a conversation about guns. Because they walk around at the cabin with guns because it’s remote and there’s bears. He’s showed me pictures of himself at a shooting range before. And I have mixed feelings about dating guys who like guns. First of all, guns make me uneasy. They just do. Second of all, it hurts my heart when people shoot deer for fun. But thirdly, I sometimes (depending on the guy) actually feel weirdly safer being with a guy who does own guns. I know that makes no sense- how can I dislike them but appreciate them at the same time? Anyway. So now he’s showing me even more pictures of guns. And I’m like- woah, wait a minute. Why do you have THAT one? Looking at a picture of…idk something a sniper would use. He explains, yep that will shoot something over a mile away.

 

So we have this fun debate about why anyone would need that type of gun (I say the only reason I can think of is if someone is going to assassinate a guy who’s trying to launch a nuclear bomb) and he explains he just likes to shoot targets, never animals. Which I’m more okay with. But THEN he says that for awhile these people kept breaking into his home and were trying to either kill him or abduct him, so he started carrying guns all the time.

 

Yes. You read that correctly. He said it so fast and then kept talking like that was a normal thing to say. So I was like- wait, WHAT? People are trying to kidnap you? WHO are you? I’m thinking…..well he might be clinically paranoid or something, I should probably just call it a day and take myself home. But he then tells this long story about how for months his home was broken into. The police were involved obviously and agreed it was a professional type operation, since the guys disabled his security system and never broke windows, and never actually stole anything from the house. They broke in a total of 6 times over a few months. A few times he chased them away with a gun. Idk there’s more to that story but just know that it was weird. I interrupted at one point and said, “Look. They were obviously searching for something valuable in your house. Right? You don’t have to tell me if you own some famous piece of art that’s a family heirloom or something, but like, that’s clearly what they were looking for?” And he says he has nothing that valuable. Eventually he sold that house and whoever they are haven’t found him yet (two years later). Super strange/scary story.

 

Then he mentions that shortly after the last break-in, he ended up in the hospital for 5 months and wasn’t sure if they kept breaking in while he was gone. Obviously I want to know why he was in the hospital for such a long time.

 

And then comes horrific story #2. He got into a motorcycle accident on Mullholland Canyon. Was driving 130mph and his tire hit something on a turn, skidded and he flew off into a tree. He says he was revived once on the side of the road by paramedics, then again in the helicopter on the way to the hospital, and again at the hospital. He died 3 times that day, he says. He tells me all about how he shattered his pelvis, broke bones in all kinds of weird directions. Probably one of the most gruesome disturbing stories I’ve ever heard.

 

The thing is, I’m really empathetic. When people tell me stories like this, I feel like I’m living it. I was still reeling from the first story (I left out the worst parts that were really scary) and as stupid as this sounds, felt traumatized myself just from listening to him tell this story. He was fully conscious while they transported him from the accident to the hospital. He was in a coma for a week, the doctors didn’t think he would make it.

 

Now is a good point to mention that he works in television. He’s a good storyteller and writer (he’s sent me a few of his short stories, they were really good) and the way he told these stories I was picturing scenes from movies I’d seen. I told him he was like a Navy Seal who never joined the Navy. He thought that was funny.

 

He says that the cast/crew on the show he works on were so supportive during his recovery and got emotional- he was almost crying telling me this (and I’ve never thought it was hot to see a man cry until now)- saying that their support was the main reason he pushed through physical therapy and learned to walk again.

 

Okay, why this long story, here’s the point of my thread. I don’t really know what to make of all of this. Because I was thinking, he may be the absolute craziest guy I’ve ever gone out with (and that is saying a lot) but strangely I’m attracted to him anyway. Aside from these crazy stories, he’s really kind, intelligent, sensitive and funny. I feel comfortable around him easily. And we had pretty outstanding chemistry.

 

But that makes me crazy, right? Shouldn’t I be thinking- no he’s way too much trouble…what kind of person gets themselves into these situations? He felt nervous after telling me all of that, and kept asking if it was too much information too soon….which it kinda was, and he said that he never really opens up to anyone and felt comfortable with me, and since we’d been talking for such a long time, etc.

 

I’ve just had bad experiences with men who move too quickly like this- either too physical too fast or too emotional too fast. That’s a golden rule, right? Never trust anything that moves quicker than feels appropriate?

 

One thing that DID almost bother me was this- I was saying something like “that’s a good answer!” and this other older man at the bar overheard me and said “What’s that, you’re a dancer?” I laugh and say no. My date is like- “what did that guy just say to you?” Me- “nothing,” and change the subject. It’s good for a guy to be protective but not good if he feels the need to make an issue every time some guy talks to me.

 

So….I kind of just needed to talk this one out. What do people think about these crazy stories?? He said he’s broken something like 200 bones in his lifetime. There were other injury stories too. The motorcycle crash definitely changed him though. He says he feels grateful every single day just to be alive, since the doctors thought he wouldn’t come out of the coma. I wondered if he was lying but I saw scars and felt weird metal places in his arms. He says his idea of extreme sports now is only swimming because you can’t kill yourself in the water. Maybe he got all of that out of his system and is ready to mellow out? Was he telling all those stories to create some fake intimacy or something? I don’t even know what to think.

 

I had a good time and want to see him again, but I also don’t trust my own decisions sometimes.

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I could be completely wrong but my bull**** radar on this guy is going off pretty bad. Looks like a lot of red flags to me. I'd have to see/hear him in person. Proceed with caution.

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I had a good time and want to see him again, but I also don’t trust my own decisions sometimes.

Ya I can see why. This guy is so full of it. If it sounds too good to be true....it is.

 

have seen many stories like this in those reality crime shows where women get totally believing a guy's made up fantasy only to find out he is married to other women, a criminal/con artist scamming these women out of their money.

 

Do a background check before you proceed.

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I'm sorry but going 130 mph on a motorcycle, wiping out, and hitting a tree? Seriously? I mean, people die in car crashes going 60 mph.

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Ug. Yeah AMJam I'm sorry but this either isn't real or he's crazy. Or both.

 

I'll be blunt - the motorcycle accident and the dying never happened. And the home invasion stuff, sigh ....hon that's bscly verbatim of accounts my BF's told me about from paranoid delusion ppl. (Always some shadowy force behind the scenes pulling strings in ways that no one would be able to and much less have reason to.) So that never happened either and all that leaves is whether or not he's spinning a good yarn or he actually believes it himself. (Neither one is good bu the 2nd one's worse and that's prob what it is.)

 

Sorry sister but eject from this ASAP bc you don't want on this guy's radar any longer than you have to be. :( So sorry.

 

But chin up - it was good you tried. :)

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Also, shooting a sniper rifle that distance requires intense training. Is he ex military or something?

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He'd be dead. I too think he's full of it. Maybe his limp is a birth defect. Who knows. Anyway, you feel protected with a guy with a gun until you have a big fight with him. And then you never do again. And an automatic rifle? No. He's a nut of one variety or another. No one needs that. And yes, people who enjoy killing animals when they don't need to, I once asked the pioneer FBI profiler John Douglas that question. To me the only justification is because it was a survival tool, hunting, so it's in our genes. So I asked, "Do you think sport hunting is a vestigial trait?" And he said, "I'm not sure, but psychologically, it's not good." And he would know.

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Ha...no one needs to feel sorry. At the least it was a really entertaining date.

 

Everyone thinks he's lying... I definitely agree about the speed. I was rear ended by a car going like 45mph (I was stopped in traffic) and my car was totaled. So yeah he probably was going much much slower. Especially since he was turning a sharp corner in the canyon. The last time a guy lied to impress me it was about his job and how much he bench pressed.

 

I just asked my friends' husband who's in local PD to do a background check for me. He said "LOL". My other friend's BF is a detective in LAPD so I could ask her....that's a little bit embarrassing though.

 

He said he's friends with people in the military and people who train special forces or something. That part of the story was also odd.

 

I really did see massive scars and feel pieces of weird metal or missing bone....so we think he was injured some other way and concocted this elaborate story to sound cool?

 

We really think he's insane? I'm going to be more bothered about that than anything else.

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He sounds like a bit of a fantasist to be honest.

 

 

I'd definitely take all those stories with a huge grain of salt and do some digging into his background to see if you can verify any of it.

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I told him (friend who is a cop) the story and he says "Sounds 5150". But then he asked a few more questions and thinks he might be telling the truth. But he's too new in the department to do random background checks on people he says.

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I told him (friend who is a cop) the story and he says "Sounds 5150". But then he asked a few more questions and thinks he might be telling the truth. But he's too new in the department to do random background checks on people he says.

 

Maybe so, but he offered you a lot of information that sounds like self-aggrandizing to me. He gave you that information to impress...too eagerly and dramatically. I would keep alert.

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I think the same. Any one of these stories would be questionable, but all of them together make me wonder if he actually believes them himself, or if he just says the most outrageous stuff he can think of.

 

Hitting a tree at 130 mph on a motorcycle makes for a very sudden stop. Not survivable. And I don't know what kind of rifle he had, but a mile... there have been confirmed kills at a mile, but it's 2X the effective range for all but the most expert marksmen using the most sophisticated rifles in the world. Doesn't pass the sniff test.

 

You should ask him about jumping the Snake River Canyon. I bet he has stories about that too.

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AMJ. I am genuinely worried for you if you don't think this guy is a liar, a nut, dangerous or all three.

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The thing is- aside from these stories, he seemed completely normal. I know its like- how can a person who tells weird stories like this also sound normal- but he was. He's otherwise a pretty basic, old-fashioned, outdoorsy country guy who is like a fish out of water in Los Angeles.

 

There were sprinkles of normal sounding stories in between these weird ones. And this could be me being naive but how can he have such a good job if he's completely crazy? It's a TV comedy that unless you live under a rock, you've heard of it. And his IMBD page checks out.

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We really think he's insane? I'm going to be more bothered about that than anything else.

 

The paranoid delusion stuff, yeah. It's a mental illness anyway, and not a very nice one.

 

And yes, when flesh and bone collides w a hard surface at high speed it bscly gets obliterated. That's not bumps and bruises level, it's disintegration level.

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He'd be dead. I too think he's full of it. Maybe his limp is a birth defect. Who knows. Anyway, you feel protected with a guy with a gun until you have a big fight with him. And then you never do again. And an automatic rifle? No. He's a nut of one variety or another. No one needs that. And yes, people who enjoy killing animals when they don't need to, I once asked the pioneer FBI profiler John Douglas that question. To me the only justification is because it was a survival tool, hunting, so it's in our genes. So I asked, "Do you think sport hunting is a vestigial trait?" And he said, "I'm not sure, but psychologically, it's not good." And he would know.

 

 

 

 

AMJ - I would recommend you go to a shooting range and take some lessons. No one dies, and it's a lot of fun. You will be surprised to find the varied demographic of gun owners. We are men, women, professionals, doctors, lawyers, blue collar workers, black, white, Asian, etc. people from all walks of life own firearms. A small minority is nuts, most are not. Just because some catholic priests molest little boys doesn't mean they all do.

 

The stories this guy tells seem like tall tales. Why not see where it goes and bail later if he's full of crap?

 

Jen said if it's too good to be true it probably is. Another way to look at it is if it's too good to be true it could be your future husband. You'll never know unless you try. Lies, if they are there, will come out eventually.

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I think you need to evaluate your objectivity here. If you weren't attracted to the guy how would that change your opinion of his stories/outlook on the success of the date? I can't for one minute believe that you would still hold the same opinions- you would probably think the same as the rest of us, that he is a nut. I get the impression you badly want to look past all that because 'chemistryyyy!!1'

 

Speaking as someone abstracted from the situation there is so much wrong in 90% of your OP that I can'tell believe you are even debating this like he is still an option.

 

(Maybe I just wish I was attractive enough to get away with nonsense like that! :D )

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AMJ - I would recommend you go to a shooting range and take some lessons. No one dies, and it's a lot of fun. You will be surprised to find the varied demographic of gun owners. We are men, women, professionals, doctors, lawyers, blue collar workers, black, white, Asian, etc. people from all walks of life own firearms. A small minority is nuts, most are not. Just because some catholic priests molest little boys doesn't mean they all do.

 

The stories this guy tells seem like tall tales. Why not see where it goes and bail later if he's full of crap?

 

Jen said if it's too good to be true it probably is. Another way to look at it is if it's too good to be true it could be your future husband. You'll never know unless you try. Lies, if they are there, will come out eventually.

 

No really, guns give me the heebie jeebies. My cousins and uncles have them, they hunt ducks or quail sometimes. I'm not so much freaked out by rifles but handguns make me uncomfortable and whatever he showed me pictures of made me a little nauseous actually.

 

My aunt gave me pepper spray years ago. I don't carry it with me. I probably should have when I lived in larger cities.

 

I don't know why I react that way, a few unpleasant things have happened to me before but I've never been held at gunpoint or anything. I have friends who have been.

 

I'm not trying to judge gun owners or anything like that. He asked me if I was freaked out by a bow and arrow...well not really, how much damage can a person do with an arrow?

 

I don't get the "if it's too good to be true" analogy.. I wasn't thinking that any part of his story was "good". I'm bothered with myself for being enticed or whatever you want to call it, because whatever that is (crazy, lie, dangerous) is not normal. And part of me did react that way initially- as soon as he said someone wanted to abduct him, lol. I thought- AMJ you should just leave like right now, don't even finish your drink. Something must be really wrong with me for getting sucked into that.

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Liar liar pants on fire. I live in LA and ride a bike. It's impossible to go 130 mph on Mulholland. 80 mph maybe but anything over 60 mph and he'd be dead for sure...

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I've read many posts on LS where ppl want opinions on when to get into gritty details about their past. I understand this guy approached with a limp and you asked what happened, which to me would be part of a naturally progressive conversation. This guy not only answered your question, he went on to tell you about his cat-like nine lives.

 

Yeah, ppl embellish stories from time to time, but this guys stories are outlandish. I agree that when flesh and bones hit an inanimate object at 130 mph, it obliterates the individual. Bones would be shattered shards, not broken. It's almost unbelievable that the impact alone didn't decapitate him. The internal bleeding and injuries to his organs would most likely have been irreparable. With the scars you witnessed, he prob. had a horrible accident, but I believe his account is grossly overstated.

 

Sometimes even when you know someone is bs'ing you, there's an intriguing allure. The extent of details this guy shared on an initial meeting and the magnitude of his account, to me, screams psycho narcissistic personality. I'd steer clear. The entertainment value isn't worth the warped web you are likely to get tangled up in.

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callingyouuu

I'm quite shocked that someone who broke so many bones (including his PELVIC bone :eek:) would ever be rehabilitated enough to have the hip stability to fix log cabins. Also, it's amazing that a professional criminal syndicate broke into his house to kidnap him multiple times, and he was able to singlehandedly chase them away without being harmed.

 

I don't know what on earth he's still doing in television. This man needs a movie screenplay and a book deal about his life right away. He can probably also replace Liam Neeson in Taken.

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AMJ, I'm not sure why exactly it is that you're asking for opinions. I think, bottom line, is whether or not you want to keep seeing him. I mean, I think we're mostly resolute in saying, "no effing way," but ... who cares if he entices you? I mean, forget thinking that you "should" feel one way or the other about him. You're clearly ambivalent, and I think that's fine. We're often attracted, at some point in our lives, to someone we "shouldn't" be attracted to.

 

A couple of years ago I was in a FWB situation with a guy who sold drugs (and took them regularly), and yes, kept a shotgun under his bed. There is nothing about my makeup or lifestyle that would suggest that he was a good match. Yet oddly, I trusted him, felt safe with him. We hooked up for a summer, and I had the best sex of my life. I also decided to go see a therapist, because I was like, "what is it about this guy that I'm so attracted to?" Anyway, it was a quote-unquote bad situation that ended up bearing a lot of good fruit. And nothing untoward happened to me as a result of seeing someone like him for a few months. I had some great sex, had some fun late-night conversations with a really interesting person, I felt cared-for in some way, and close to someone, and I don't regret it. But, aside from the therapy (which I needed anyway), I didn't feel bad about hooking up with a guy like him. I don't regret it.

 

Don't worry so much about this, I guess is what I'm saying. He's clearly not "love of your life" material, but don't worry about the fact that you're attracted to him.

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Lois_Griffin
Then he mentions that shortly after the last break-in, he ended up in the hospital for 5 month....

And I'd be willing to bet there was lots of nice padding all over the walls in his room.

So….I kind of just needed to talk this one out. What do people think about these crazy stories??

My diagnosis is paranoid Schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur.

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Don't worry so much about this, I guess is what I'm saying. He's clearly not "love of your life" material, but don't worry about the fact that you're attracted to him.

 

Only caveat here being it might be dangerous for Am to hang out w this guy (literally), so it'd be prudent to push the standards a little higher in practice to avoid that. (i.e. this really shouldn't be a "see what happens" moment bc seeing what happens might involve dying.) But I would have thought the same thing about a drug dealer! ;)

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