LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Asking Out a Co-Worker?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Old 18th August 2016, 7:23 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 85
Asking Out a Co-Worker?

Asking Out a Co-Worker?
*If possible please take the time to read the details to get an understanding of the situation.*

Hey guys, I am 23 Male she is 29 Female. Any opinions/point of views are great. There's a generalized portion and a detailed smaller portion to this. I'm just trying to get what you think and if you've had any similar experiences to this.
I know every single situation is different and the amount of variables makes this almost impossible unless i find out for myself, but I am very serious and just interested in knowing how you feel.

Details:

I work for (kind of) a retail type of place. I currently just started transferring for a couple days a week to a different store location. I've been working just a couple days there and there are a ton of girls I work with, but this one stands out to me so much. I'm at the point where I really want a relationship, and this girl shows up, just happens to be one i work with here and there.

At the kind of job I work, you basically walk in, it's very busy, everyone is doing their assigned job, and that's it. There's some time for chit chat inbetween but there's always the entire work crew basically right there. There's really no "oh, do you want to go on break with me?" because that's not possible at my job, 1 person takes break. There's no solitude place alone with her to talk to her at all like other jobs maybe, so its almost impossible to find a good time to talk to her alone.

This particular girl i just really love her personality aside from her attractiveness of course. Again, there's tons of other girls there, but this one from the second i talked to her I would not mind spending time with her at all. I don't know if she's just trying to be nice to me or what kind of hints girls throw out and I know this is so subjective but... from what I can tell she always looks at me and always walks near me. She kind of shys away from me and you can just tell when the opportunity arrives she really wants to talk to me, hard to explain. She wants to look over at me every now and then, that's the feeling i get when i see her. Every time she talks to me about something she is so direct and always laughs (purposely or not i have no idea). She just acts differently than the other girls do and is so positive. Again, she could just be that professional, friendly and nice, or maybe there's a little of both that and she likes me. Every time i walk out when my shift is over and she's still there, she makes sure she goes out of her way to say bye to me (the other girls don't at all do that, AT ALL lol, they usually just pick their head up from what they're doing and say cyah or whatever) but this one I like always tries to quick talk to me on my way out and kind of makes sure she gets noticed. I don't really know what else to be looking for but it seems like she is either 1. just super nice and HELPFUL or 2. just tries her best for me to notice her and stand out to me?

Again, i am completely aware of the situation and variables that go into this. I'm in no way shape or form sold on which side of the fence she is. But from the small amount of days I've been with her and what I can tell, she might have something there for me and so do i.

What I mostly need answered:


1.

How should i go about doing this?
Now the thing about workplace relationships, apparently she's leaving for a new place in a couple weeks. Should i wait to talk to her (really don't want to wait that long)? Should i just slip her a note with my number on it? Should i contact her on social media (i know that's wishy washy but I 100% don't condone talking to her about something like this with other workers around, lol). Like what's the best way to go about this, because this of course isn't a bar, this is work with people around constantly. I really, REALLY want to just talk to her face to face about it, but I am telling you from the bottom of my heart, i promise you, at this place there's virtually no way of getting a private minute with a person like that.
I was actually thinking if it was weird, or more of cool/ she'll think she's special if i go back to the work place one day and meet her on her way out. Like if i leave at 5, she leaves at 8, and i go back around 8 to meet her?

2. She's 29, im 23, is that weird?

3. She MAY or may not live an hour or two away for school etc, that's why she's leaving the job within the month or so. Is that usually too far?

Do you guys have any experiences with this or thoughts about a situation like this on a generalized scale along with some of the more detail oriented parts of it? Very much appreciated. Let me know if you have any questions.

Last edited by Braytc; 18th August 2016 at 7:31 PM..
Braytc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2016, 7:32 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Shanex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,718
Journal Entries: 3
I wouldn't usually encourage to date a coworker but she is leaving in a few weeks which is something good if you want a relationship with her. If I were you I'd wait a bit before asking her out. Just before she leaves. 23/29 is not a wide age gap and this is not an issue.
Shanex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2016, 7:36 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shanex View Post
I wouldn't usually encourage to date a coworker but she is leaving in a few weeks which is something good if you want a relationship with her. If I were you I'd wait a bit before asking her out. Just before she leaves. 23/29 is not a wide age gap and this is not an issue.
appreciate it.
It's just going to kill to wait that long. So def think not a good idea while she's still there? Been getting SO many different answers, actually don't think anyone has really suggested that yet
Braytc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2016, 7:44 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Shanex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,718
Journal Entries: 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braytc View Post
appreciate it.
It's just going to kill to wait that long. So def think not a good idea while she's still there? Been getting SO many different answers, actually don't think anyone has really suggested that yet
Or you can after she leaves. But the decision is yours. About the distance it's also up to you to decide if you're willing to do the one hour drive to see her. Personally I would every other day or on weekends. If you feel it's a bit too far away to maintain a relationship... Just think about it on your own. Nothing wrong with getting other peoples opinions about this. But neither the distance, the age gap and her being a coworker for a few more weeks only would bug me.
Shanex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2016, 7:53 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shanex View Post
Or you can after she leaves. But the decision is yours. About the distance it's also up to you to decide if you're willing to do the one hour drive to see her. Personally I would every other day or on weekends. If you feel it's a bit too far away to maintain a relationship... Just think about it on your own. Nothing wrong with getting other peoples opinions about this. But neither the distance, the age gap and her being a coworker for a few more weeks only would bug me.
That's how i felt as well.
Yeah i don't know a whole lot about her, just meeting her the other week and working at this place for a couple days a week just to help out. I THINK she might be an hour or 2 away and kind of lives at 1 parent's house or something like that during the summer, not entirely sure, i'd be talking about that if we "go out" lol.
I was honestly planning to make a decision on asking her out tomorrow night. I just don't know if i can handle waiting to ask her for weeks
Braytc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2016, 8:42 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 17,447
The age difference is only a big deal if she normally dates older. She may just be a friendly personality type, but anyway, she's friendly to you and friendly personality types are usually open to socializing, so....why not just start with a casual lunch while at work: "Hey, I'm going to lunch at 1:00. What time do you usually go?" Then what she says will either be encouraging or discouraging, but if she leaves an opening, ask her out. She may answer "Oh, whenever my boyfriend takes his break" or something revealing like that. But if she' leaves it open, see if she wants to go "grab a bite. I'm buying."

Then over lunch, find out if she has a boyfriend and gauge her interest. Maybe do this a couple of times before getting her phone number, unless she offers of course.

Good luck.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2016, 8:50 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
The age difference is only a big deal if she normally dates older. She may just be a friendly personality type, but anyway, she's friendly to you and friendly personality types are usually open to socializing, so....why not just start with a casual lunch while at work: "Hey, I'm going to lunch at 1:00. What time do you usually go?" Then what she says will either be encouraging or discouraging, but if she leaves an opening, ask her out. She may answer "Oh, whenever my boyfriend takes his break" or something revealing like that. But if she' leaves it open, see if she wants to go "grab a bite. I'm buying."

Then over lunch, find out if she has a boyfriend and gauge her interest. Maybe do this a couple of times before getting her phone number, unless she offers of course.

Good luck.
Thanks!
She doesn't have a boyfriend lol, and hasn't for a long time if ever if i gathered correctly. I just get a different vibe from her than the other like 20-30 girls i've worked with over my course of 5 years here. But that's why i kinda left that out there, maybe she is just super friendly, but she kinda of acts like she "WANTS" to talk to me or is "Careful / timid" around me when she's near me. Again i might just wrongfully gather that, but if i know my instinct correctly i just get that feeling like she might be into it.

Like i said, there are no "lunch breaks" that everyone like goes out and that's it. 1 person, and 1 person only goes out, then they come back, next person goes out etc. So that's a no. There's virtually at no part of the day like i mentioned that you can sit there and say something as personal as this to face to face without everyone else hearing/seeing it, which i CANNOT have. Which is why i brought up those ideas that I had to ask her
Braytc is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dating a co-worker, another co-worker seems jealous Bonnie Potter Dating 2 14th June 2014 11:24 PM
a co-worker mancity14 Dating 1 14th March 2012 10:59 PM
Like a co-worker, does he like me? dp Business and Professional Relationships 5 7th April 2010 9:25 AM
Co-worker Dadaal Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 0 23rd December 2007 2:11 PM
Asking co-worker out willpparker Dating 3 18th October 2005 9:03 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:04 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.