I´ve NEVER been this wrong about a girl...

[The Next Big Thing]

1.) I had a crush on this girl at my university, so once I walked up to her and got to meet her. She was CONSTANTLY looking into my eyes and smiling a lot. I was in a hurry I even forgot to ask for her number but as I was leaving SHE introduced herself, shook my hand (like she wanted me to remember her), I introduced myself too and after few more sentences I left. I felt like we had great connection. She told me she is half-persian (from father´s part), so I was even more into her, since its so exotic.

 

2.) Then after about a month of not seeing her we met at university, she was walking by, we made eye contact but she looked away fast, like being shy a bit. Then I went to her direction and walked up to her, told her I remember her name, she told me she remembers mine too. We started to talk and we had an amazing conversation. We talked about a lot of stuff, not just university, but also a lot of things about our lives etc, it was getting a bit personal so I liked it. I invited her to go out, she agreed. She told me to add her on FACEBOOK but I told her to give me her number, so we exchanged numbers. Then we talked some more for a while and then she left to class. Also this time she was SMILING a lot, making a lot of EYE CONTACT and I also noticed that sometimes she seemed a bit nervous. I just felt like there is mutual connection between us.

 

3.) I wrote her a message after few days, she didnt respond. After a week or two I think, I met her at university and after a while as we talked , SHE told me "I dont know if you sent me a message but if yes, I couldnt respond because my old phone is broke and I have a new one now.." something like that. I told her to send me a message so I could save her new number. She searched me in her contacts, SHE ALREADY HAD ME THERE, like I was important to her, so that made me happy.

 

4.) Next day I sent her a message inviting her for a coffee. So we met the following day. As we met I hugged her but eventhough she hugged me she barely touched my back, like she was being nervous a bit, like she didnt expect a hugg. We talked for maybe 1 hour and a half. It was great. She laughed a lot, me too, we talked about everything. She even brought a book she promised to show me and gave it to me like a gift. I was shocked and very happy. Then we left, talked on the street a bit and then we said goodbye to eachother.

 

5.) After about 3 weeks of not seing her we met again at university and we talked. She seemed happy to see me. We talked, she smiling and laughing all the time like always. What surprised me was that when she was leaving she iniciated a hug and hugged me quite firmly and for quite long. I liked that she was proceeding with the physical contact.

 

6.) Then the following week I met her again at university accidentally, I was sitting with friends (a couple - BF & GF). She walked up to me, we talked, she was smiling and laughing again at everything I said literally. I didnt even try. Then we had some moments when we were just silent, she was standing there in front of me , looking me in the eyes...honestly, I expected her to leave, it kind of seemed logical in that situation but she never left. Then my friends told me they go out for a fresh air, so I went with them , she went with me. We talked for maybe another 10 minutes there..she was laughing and smiling a lot , ABSOLUTELY didnt seem in a hurry, seemed like she has time just for me. We agreed to meet before a class next day. But when my friends went inside again, we said goodbye to eachother.

 

7.) Next day I met her and at university before class, like we agreed...she even sent me a message that she will not make it on time (she came maybe 1 minute later than we agreed on , lol). We had a great conversation again and she told me after exams we can go out. I said for sure. Then she went to class.

 

8.) Next day we met accidentally talking at university and we both stopped to talk to each other. Again, she seemed like she was not in a hurry when talking to me but actually she was (going to an exam). I just felt like she wants to be around me. Then we said goodbye to each other and agreed again to meet after exams.

 

NEXT MORNING I got a message from her, quite early, luckily I was awake. She wrote that her exam went well and also she gave me her OLD number, she will use from now on. She used a lot of smiles in text, like when she was texting me when she was late (in point 7).

I felt a bit weird receiving message from a girl this early in morning, it started to feel like we are getting close to each other.

 

I started to plan to invite her out after exams (like she proposed to me) and I thought Im gonna move this to the next stage and kiss her. I have actually never felt a girl was this much into me, and so nice overall, I can talk about everything with her, she is so pretty, everything.

 

 

 

 

Now prepare.................

 

 

 

 

 

.....................after few days, today, I accidentally met her at university. She was sitting on a leg of a guy, with arm around his neck, they were talking. We said "hi" to eachother and I stopped by for a while. I thought its just her classmate/friend and she is just being overly friendly. I kind of minded it but not that much. When I came by, she stood immediately and we started to talk and she introduced me HER BOYFRIEND !!!!!

Yes, you read well !!!!! She was like this is my boyfriend, and this is my friend from university. I was SO SHOCKED I didnt know what to say, we just stood there, she was smiling a bit looking at my eyes like always. We were silent for like 3 seconds but it seemed like an eternity for me.

I couldnt believe HE was her boyfriend. With all due respect, but he was ugly, chubby, overall not attractive. He was very dark (maybe persian?)..I dont know his origin. He also seemed older than her. On the other side, she is very good looking and skinny. They are polar opposites. I would never in my dreams say that a girl like her would have a boyfriend like him. Maybe I will sound cocky now, but I am MUCH better looking than him.

I dont know what shocked me more, if the fact that I thought we gonna be in relationship soon maybe, and she tells me this...or the fact that she has a boyfriend who is completely "out of her league" ..first few seconds I didnt even trust her.

 

 

 

 

WHAT NOW???

 

I think after exams, Im gonna meet with her like she proposed and Im gonna ask her about her boyfriend casually. I really want to make this clear. After that Im gonna just forget her. I sometimes didnt even approach girls I liked because I thought it would be unloyal to her LOOOOL. Im f.cking angry that this girl played with me, if I can call it like that. I ACTUALY THOUGHT THAT I GOT IT, AND THAT MAYBE I WOULD BREAK HER HEART IF IT DOESNT GO WELL, since she was that much into me.......how much I was WRONG...

[Alamo657]

Yes she used your attraction for her to boost her ego.

 

Don't see her, don't confront her, silence is LOUDER than words and makes you look much better than anger and sarcasm.

 

Next !

[LookAtThisPOst]

1.) I had a crush on this girl at my university, so once I walked up to her and got to meet her. She was CONSTANTLY looking into my eyes and smiling a lot. I was in a hurry I even forgot to ask for her number but as I was leaving SHE introduced herself, shook my hand (like she wanted me to remember her), I introduced myself too and after few more sentences I left. I felt like we had great connection. She told me she is half-persian (from father´s part), so I was even more into her, since its so exotic.

 

2.) Then after about a month of not seeing her we met at university, she was walking by, we made eye contact but she looked away fast, like being shy a bit. Then I went to her direction and walked up to her, told her I remember her name, she told me she remembers mine too. We started to talk and we had an amazing conversation. We talked about a lot of stuff, not just university, but also a lot of things about our lives etc, it was getting a bit personal so I liked it. I invited her to go out, she agreed. She told me to add her on FACEBOOK but I told her to give me her number, so we exchanged numbers. Then we talked some more for a while and then she left to class. Also this time she was SMILING a lot, making a lot of EYE CONTACT and I also noticed that sometimes she seemed a bit nervous. I just felt like there is mutual connection between us.

 

3.) I wrote her a message after few days, she didnt respond. After a week or two I think, I met her at university and after a while as we talked , SHE told me "I dont know if you sent me a message but if yes, I couldnt respond because my old phone is broke and I have a new one now.." something like that. I told her to send me a message so I could save her new number. She searched me in her contacts, SHE ALREADY HAD ME THERE, like I was important to her, so that made me happy.

 

4.) Next day I sent her a message inviting her for a coffee. So we met the following day. As we met I hugged her but eventhough she hugged me she barely touched my back, like she was being nervous a bit, like she didnt expect a hugg. We talked for maybe 1 hour and a half. It was great. She laughed a lot, me too, we talked about everything. She even brought a book she promised to show me and gave it to me like a gift. I was shocked and very happy. Then we left, talked on the street a bit and then we said goodbye to eachother.

 

5.) After about 3 weeks of not seing her we met again at university and we talked. She seemed happy to see me. We talked, she smiling and laughing all the time like always. What surprised me was that when she was leaving she iniciated a hug and hugged me quite firmly and for quite long. I liked that she was proceeding with the physical contact.

 

6.) Then the following week I met her again at university accidentally, I was sitting with friends (a couple - BF & GF). She walked up to me, we talked, she was smiling and laughing again at everything I said literally. I didnt even try. Then we had some moments when we were just silent, she was standing there in front of me , looking me in the eyes...honestly, I expected her to leave, it kind of seemed logical in that situation but she never left. Then my friends told me they go out for a fresh air, so I went with them , she went with me. We talked for maybe another 10 minutes there..she was laughing and smiling a lot , ABSOLUTELY didnt seem in a hurry, seemed like she has time just for me. We agreed to meet before a class next day. But when my friends went inside again, we said goodbye to eachother.

 

7.) Next day I met her and at university before class, like we agreed...she even sent me a message that she will not make it on time (she came maybe 1 minute later than we agreed on , lol). We had a great conversation again and she told me after exams we can go out. I said for sure. Then she went to class.

 

8.) Next day we met accidentally talking at university and we both stopped to talk to each other. Again, she seemed like she was not in a hurry when talking to me but actually she was (going to an exam). I just felt like she wants to be around me. Then we said goodbye to each other and agreed again to meet after exams.

 

NEXT MORNING I got a message from her, quite early, luckily I was awake. She wrote that her exam went well and also she gave me her OLD number, she will use from now on. She used a lot of smiles in text, like when she was texting me when she was late (in point 7).

I felt a bit weird receiving message from a girl this early in morning, it started to feel like we are getting close to each other.

 

I started to plan to invite her out after exams (like she proposed to me) and I thought Im gonna move this to the next stage and kiss her. I have actually never felt a girl was this much into me, and so nice overall, I can talk about everything with her, she is so pretty, everything.

 

 

 

 

Now prepare.................

 

 

 

 

 

.....................after few days, today, I accidentally met her at university. She was sitting on a leg of a guy, with arm around his neck, they were talking. We said "hi" to eachother and I stopped by for a while. I thought its just her classmate/friend and she is just being overly friendly. I kind of minded it but not that much. When I came by, she stood immediately and we started to talk and she introduced me HER BOYFRIEND !!!!!

Yes, you read well !!!!! She was like this is my boyfriend, and this is my friend from university. I was SO SHOCKED I didnt know what to say, we just stood there, she was smiling a bit looking at my eyes like always. We were silent for like 3 seconds but it seemed like an eternity for me.

I couldnt believe HE was her boyfriend. With all due respect, but he was ugly, chubby, overall not attractive. He was very dark (maybe persian?)..I dont know his origin. He also seemed older than her. On the other side, she is very good looking and skinny. They are polar opposites. I would never in my dreams say that a girl like her would have a boyfriend like him. Maybe I will sound cocky now, but I am MUCH better looking than him.

I dont know what shocked me more, if the fact that I thought we gonna be in relationship soon maybe, and she tells me this...or the fact that she has a boyfriend who is completely "out of her league" ..first few seconds I didnt even trust her.

 

 

 

 

WHAT NOW???

 

I think after exams, Im gonna meet with her like she proposed and Im gonna ask her about her boyfriend casually. I really want to make this clear. After that Im gonna just forget her. I sometimes didnt even approach girls I liked because I thought it would be unloyal to her LOOOOL. Im f.cking angry that this girl played with me, if I can call it like that. I ACTUALY THOUGHT THAT I GOT IT, AND THAT MAYBE I WOULD BREAK HER HEART IF IT DOESNT GO WELL, since she was that much into me.......how much I was WRONG...

 

Go for it. I've known men to snag women away from their boyfriends, some of which were obviously mismatched, and wound up even marrying them.

[scorpiogirl]

Go for it. I've known men to snag women away from their boyfriends, some of which were obviously mismatched, and wound up even marrying them.

 

No, don't do this.

 

As said in the first post, just ignore her. Focus on school and exams. Don't give her a second thought. Don't ask about her boyfriend, don't meet with her, act nonplussed. Any other reaction from you will just give her power over you and you don't want that.

 

Seriously, forget all the other stuff you think happened between the so of you.

[Audacious]

she was leading you on ..... you can either play the victim until she breaks up with her BF and fall on you , but at the time , you will be distant , and sending mix signals , that would be sweet ....

 

or you can stop fooling yourself , move on

[SilverAccount]

She was leading you on man, you cant change anyone, you dont deserve all these mixed signals, move on and get out there.

[The Next Big Thing]

BUT WHY was she leading me on if she has a boyfriend?

 

1.) She travelled almost an hour just to meet me for our first date. Then as I said she proposed another date after exams.

 

2.) After she iniciated the hug or the first time, as I mentioned in my post, after that EVERY time we saw each other, she was iniciating hugs, like using the opportunity she sees me just to hug me.

 

3.) That time when I was with my friends and she came there, she was just STANDING there not leaving, staring at me, smiling, laughing (sincerely/spontaneously) at every stupid joke I made, I didnt even try. ANd then as I said she went outsie with me and my friends and AGAIN wasnt even trying to end the onversation when we had silent moments, she was just standing there, I had to finish it.

 

4.) Then that morning text from her. Seriously, was that the first thing that came to her mind in the morning to write me a text?

 

 

Even today in front of her boyfriend she told me to let her know how my exam went.

And when I came to them (I didnt know its her BF), she immediately stood up and started to talk with me. And again even when we had silent moments just stood there looked into my eyes.....I know other girls who wouldnt even get up in the first place (and maintain eye contact with me for so long that Im basically forced to approach her) and even if they would stood up they would talk just for a minute max and then try to finish conversation.

 

 

 

IM CONFUUUUSED!!!!!!!

I think she is really nice girl, gentle, polite with very good manners, jsut good person overall. I dont know WHAT does she think is her relationship with me???

ALSO many times we had conversations, other guys (her classmates) approached her but she made it a very fast conversation/small talk , so she could comeback to me...

Im not stupid, I can read women well (at least I think I can) and Im telling you right now, I HAVE NEVER in my entire life been so sure that a girl likes me, has affection for me and an actual relationship could happen!!!

 

What if I would go on a date with her again (not knowing she has BF) and KISS her as I planned??!!!

 

 

From what Ive told you so far, please try to explain to me, WHY she was leading me on??? What was her plan? I honestly thought I was the one in control seeing her behavior (as described above in the 4 points) but now EVERYTHING has changed in completely accidental meeting. I dont understand this ... her... at all. What has actually happened. I dont know whats going on.

Edited May 24, 2016 by The Next Big Thing

[preraph]

You know, it's possible she is just trying to make friends, or it's possible she wants you on the back burner in case the bf fades away. She should have told you or you should have asked, I suppose. She sounds flirty with her bf, so in case they break up, I'd file that away and not wait long to kiss her and move it forward physically (though she could be a flirty virgin, of course, but how else to find out) Good luck. She's friendly and she may know other women that you could meet through her, so don't totally throw her away, though you ought to let her know next meetup that you were sorry to hear she has a bf, just so she knows that for sure.

[clia]

Well, it's entirely possible that this guy has only recently been elevated to the title of boyfriend. If I'm reading the timeline correctly, your coffee meeting was over a month ago and then you went three weeks without seeing her. That's not a sign of a guy who is interested. She was likely dating others during that time, possibly even the boyfriend.

 

It's also possible that she is just a friendly person and you are reading things into her actions because *you* like *her.*. This is not uncommon. For example, I don't see the hugging as anything big. I hug a lot of people in greeting, including friends and even coworkers. Her laughing at your jokes, not wanting to leave...maybe she legit thinks you are a funny guy and maybe she was just in no hurry to get anywhere. I don't know...just doesn't seem like a huge deal. She might just like you as a friend.

 

And...are you sure the coffee meeting was a date? Did either of you actually use the word date? Did she actually use the word date when she mentioned getting together after exams?

 

I don't know...I'm not totally convinced she was ever interested in more than friendship. And even if she was interested a month ago when you went for coffee, she's obviously moved on to someone else when you failed to try to see her again. Or even if the boyfriend has been around for awhile, she might've viewed all this as getting to know a classmate. I mean, I had coffee with guys from class when I was in college and didn't think anything of it. It also sounds like the majority of times you've seen her has either been random meetings on campus or just meeting up before class. That's not uncommon for friends and classmates, in my experience. I just think maybe you've been reading more into it than is there.

[smackie9]

She was just being flirty, friendly, liked being chased, to get some attention without any intention of getting with you. It's called a c*&^ tease.

[GemmaUK]

Leave this where it is.

 

She saw you as a friend an all those signs you read as shy - eg looking away, no real hug were BIG signals she wasn't into you romantically.

 

Laughing at jokes and having great convos is friendship.

 

You initiated this - she purely followed.

As little girls we (now women) in the main are taught to be friendly and polite to all people who are not nasty to us.

[The Next Big Thing]

Okay, I expected many of you will tell me I misread the signs.

 

But as I said. Ive never been more sure a girl is interested. Everything I mentioned, it just made sense.

My question is, IF I DID MISREAD SIGNS NOW (because they were unsufficient ?...) how I will be able to read signs of other girls in future? How Im able to tell a girl is interested in me? If shes caressing my chest and thighs or what? I dont know what more there should be, this girl showed me all signs in my opinion.

Or she was just EXTREMELY friendly... BUT in that case, a girl in a relationship shouldnt be this friendly to other guys, in my opinion.

 

All the interactions we had, I started to feel like we have special relationship, that we are more than just acquaintances.....

...but if you say she was never interested romantically, just being friendly...then Im even more confused...

...should I assume, from now on, that every girl is being "just friendly"? How am I supposed to build a connection with a girl if I assume she is not interested..of course I always assume a girl is interested if she likes me...BUT if I feel she doesnt spend time with me when she DOESNT HAVE TO then I know its just friendship.... but THIS GIRL , she used every opportunity she had to spend time with me.

 

So basically my another monologue summed up in two basic questions:

1.If she was/is interested, why did she even lead me on if she has a BF?

2.If she wasn´t interested, how should have I known that...and how should I know in the future with other women? (she showed me more signs than any girls ever before.....except the lack of physical contact which I contributed to her shy personality ... the only contact were those hugs....but otherwise EVERYTHING was in place, regarding "the signs").

[clia]

You should not assume every girl who is friendly to you is interested.

 

As I said above, you really did nothing to advance the relationship with her. You met her for coffee, then didn't see her for three weeks, then accidentally ran into her a few times on campus and/or met her before class. Why didn't you ask her out again? This might've been a case of "you snooze, you lose." The other guy might've actually pursued her and she might've decided to date him because of that. From what you've posted, you didn't even seem to be trying to date her.

 

We have no way of knowing what signs you might've missed because you are relaying the story through your eyes where she was interested. I have questions:

 

Did you say coffee was a date? Did you buy her coffee?

Why did you not see her for three weeks after that? Were you in communication at all via text or phone during that time?

Why didn't you ask her out again?

When she mentioned getting together after exams, did she refer to it as a date?

 

It's very easy to tell if a woman is interested. You ask her out in a date, and you are clear it's a date. If she says yes and goes on the date with you, she's interested.

[The Next Big Thing]

You should not assume every girl who is friendly to you is interested.

 

As I said above, you really did nothing to advance the relationship with her. You met her for coffee, then didn't see her for three weeks, then accidentally ran into her a few times on campus and/or met her before class. Why didn't you ask her out again? This might've been a case of "you snooze, you lose." The other guy might've actually pursued her and she might've decided to date him because of that. From what you've posted, you didn't even seem to be trying to date her.

 

We have no way of knowing what signs you might've missed because you are relaying the story through your eyes where she was interested. I have questions:

 

1.) Did you say coffee was a date? Did you buy her coffee?

2.) Why did you not see her for three weeks after that? Were you in communication at all via text or phone during that time?

3.) Why didn't you ask her out again?

4.) When she mentioned getting together after exams, did she refer to it as a date?

 

It's very easy to tell if a woman is interested. You ask her out in a date, and you are clear it's a date. If she says yes and goes on the date with you, she's interested.

 

1.) I didnt say it was a date. I said "we could go out sometime, I know a great restaurant nearby" , she agreed ... I texted her after few days but she didnt respond so I didnt text again. Once a week we always met when we were waiting for our classes, so I was always relying on that, but following week she was not there..just the week after that (2 weeks after my lunch proposal), we met before class and she told me all that stuff with her phone and gave me new number, she had me saved in her contacts so I didnt have to give her mine.

A day after this I send her a text inviting her to the lunch again. She said she was busy during lunch time (described me specificaly what) but gave me a counter-offer ... a coffee. SO we met and had a great time, she gave me this book, I PAYED for her coffee...she really insisted to pay, I had to tell her like 3 times not to. She even thanked me when we were saying goodbye.

 

2.) Well, to be honest, I wanted to contact her soon after that coffee but I didnt want to seem too needy. Whole this advice of not being needy sometimes just makes me not express what I want, but whatever. I just didnt want to seem obssessed about her so I just relied that I will meet her before class like always...so she can think that Im there for the class and not following her like a pet everywhere. But at the same time I wanted to use every opportunity before this class to get to know her more.

BUT if I remember correctly, one week I came late , other week she was not there... basically we didnt meet before the class ... for 3 weeks.

I realise that maybe I should have texted her at least something but I thought that if she would be interested she would text me if I didnt.

 

3.) I didnt ask her out again because I was not sure I want her. There were 2 other girls I was interested in (I started a thread about that). But since both of them seem unreachable right now and this past 2 weeks we had so many great interactions with this girl, I started to feel we are developing a special connection (despite the fact I was losing interest before, for unknown reason).

Basically, you have just acquantainces , you see them, you smile and greet and continue your way...but with this girl, thats impossible, I think she would be offended if I would walk by her without saying at least few words. That iniciative from her and the fact that I thought she cared about me made me care about her.

 

4.) She didnt call it a date. She said exactly what I did : "we can go out sometime", she proposed it just about of blue. I said "for sure". Day after when we met again and when we were saying goodbye I said "we see each toher after exams right?" and she very happily said yes, like she remembered what she said day before.

 

 

 

You know, if she was interested just as a friend, I dont understand why so many times during our conversations when we had silent moments she would just look at me/into my eyes for like 5 seconds straight without saying anything just with a big smile on her face. At first I looked away cause it was uncomfortable but then I tried to beat her in this game but she persists and we look at each other that way for quite long, its kind of funny.

 

And actually, the very first time I walked up to her to get to know her, she made a long eye contact with me that was what made me go up to her. And also the fact that always when we were walking by each other (duing the time we didnt know each other), she was staring into my eyes for longer than normal.

I just have a feeling from her behavior that she likes to be around me. As I said, just during this last 2 weeks when we met more often, spend more time together, I started to feel different/closer to her...in fact, I was not sure after the coffee, thats why I was maybe a bit cold. But this thing with her BF really shocked me. I dont know what to do now. How our relationship changes?

Edited May 24, 2016 by The Next Big Thing

[clia]

Let's assume she was interested in you.

 

You asked her out to lunch, which she countered with coffee. You had a nice time together.

 

Then she didn't hear from you. You didn't text, call, or anything, for any reason. You didn't ask her out again. Instead, you relied on running into her before class. You went three weeks without contact!

 

If it were me, I would think you weren't interested. And I would look for someone else to be my boyfriend.

[The Next Big Thing]

Let's assume she was interested in you.

 

You asked her out to lunch, which she countered with coffee. You had a nice time together.

 

Then she didn't hear from you. You didn't text, call, or anything, for any reason. You didn't ask her out again. Instead, you relied on running into her before class. You went three weeks without contact!

 

If it were me, I would think you weren't interested. And I would look for someone else to be my boyfriend.

 

 

You are right, I agree with you. I messed it up at that point.

But I just didnt want to seem needy and repel her that way. Where is the boundary between too needy and just wanting to be in contact with someone?

Should have I sent her a text after few days saying how is her day/week? Or just straightforward invite her out again through text? You know, Im the type of person who prefers face to face contact over electronics, that may have also played a role.

Damn, I just had this fear that I will come across as needy.

[The Next Big Thing]

The exams will last a month. She told me in front of her BF to let her know how Im doing with my exams. Do you think I should send her a text or something, so we keep in touch or just after the month passes? Or not at all?

I dont want to look desperate/needy but I also dont want her to think that Im cutting all communication suddenly.

The line between maintaing healthy contact and being needy is a bit blurry for me. Sometimes I am too distant because of that.

[clia]

I don't see why you would keep in contact with her now that you know she has a boyfriend. Move on and find another girl to date.

 

As far as neediness, you seem so fearful of looking needy that you are paralyzed from doing anything. Are you a needy person by nature? Is that why you are so fearful? It's not needy to follow up with a girl a day or two after a date to either ask her out again or to just touch base.

 

Everyone has different levels of what they consider to be needy behavior. Just look around this forum. Some people love spending all day texting with someone they just met, others find that to be too much. You have to kind of gage it on the person. Just don't bombard a new person with calls and text messages. Don't contact them repeatedly if you haven't gotten a response. Etc...

[The Next Big Thing]

I don't see why you would keep in contact with her now that you know she has a boyfriend. Move on and find another girl to date.

 

As far as neediness, you seem so fearful of looking needy that you are paralyzed from doing anything. Are you a needy person by nature? Is that why you are so fearful? It's not needy to follow up with a girl a day or two after a date to either ask her out again or to just touch base.

 

Everyone has different levels of what they consider to be needy behavior. Just look around this forum. Some people love spending all day texting with someone they just met, others find that to be too much. You have to kind of gage it on the person. Just don't bombard a new person with calls and text messages. Don't contact them repeatedly if you haven't gotten a response. Etc...

 

 

Thank you for great answer

You know, I just wanted to meet her after exams, so I could talk with her and understand maybe why she was acting like she was, if she was really leading me on despite having BF or if she didnt have BF at the time, or if I just misinterpreted the signs. (btw, I still dont understand why she invited me out just a week ago, if she has BF)

Honestly, Im not sure it it would be nice to erase her comletely from my life, because we have a lot in common and she seems like a good person. If nothing more, she could be a good friend.

 

 

 

And regarding the neediness. Im not needy at all, in general, not even approaching women. But once I get to know a girl/woman who I have connection with and I enjoy spending time with her, I just want that - spend time with her. But the thing is I dont know how she feels about me, how much time SHE wants to spend with me (either in person or via phone/texts), in other words, when to give her space to show me how much interest she has in me.