Sero Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Hey everyone. I'm new here and thought I'd throw up my first post and hopefully end up with some good advice. So basically, I've slowly been getting my life back on track. Suffering from depression, It's fair to say I really gave up on everything. My job, my relationship, my mates and all things inbetween. I'm now 21, have a stable job and working on getting out with my friends again which has lead me to a little problem. I was at a 21st party, just a small gathering, and met a girl that's friends with my best mates girlfriend. Now I could see that she was eyeing me off. Now I'm no model but I have a talent of making people laugh ( Super easy to get along with) The next day my mate told me that "said girl" was saying how nice I looked, blah blah blah. So I added her on facey and she sent me a message just apologising for being a tad quiet and just saying that next time we will have to get to know each other a little. (We chat every so often online) But the thing is, I found out that she hasn't long been single, from a pretty serious relationship. I think she is really attractive and a lovely girl. My only concern is that she may not be ready for something serious again. But at the same time I don't want sit back and wait, and miss a perfectly good chance. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Acerboy Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Ask her out. That's the only way around this. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Do you know the specifics of the breakup? Did he dump her? Was she heartbroken, or did she breakup with him for some reason? It is possible she just wasn't attracted to him enough. If that is the case she might have taken one look at you and felt the chemistry she has longed for. Either way I don't see any harm in getting to know her better. If you are really concerned take just take things slow. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Take her on a low key date. Just because her prior relationship has only been officially over for a brief period does not give you any information about how long it was emotionally over for her before it ended. Get to know the woman. Then reach your own conclusions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 You never know where someone is on the road to healing, many people are over the person before the relationship ends or it is mutual and they just go their own ways. Just ask her out and stop over analyzing something like this before you even go out. Link to post Share on other sites
gracelight935 Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 I've heard it said you can't jump into another pool if you've not climbed out of the one you're in... meaning, you are correct in thinking she has some work to do before she's complete to give herself to someone new again. We all have to walk back to the starting line, doing some healing, reconciling work on ourselves before we can run the race again. Despite why our relationships end, we all have some part in its end and must take responsibility for our parts. If not, we do our next relationship an injustice. It sounds like you already know all of this... I encourage you to give her more time, even if she says she doesn't need it. Who knows- in the meantime you may find someone even more suited to you! Prayers for discernment and patience for you! Link to post Share on other sites
SilverAccount Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 Just a casual meet up/coffee, you have no details of the previous relationship, for all you know she could be totally ready to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sero Posted May 25, 2016 Author Share Posted May 25, 2016 No, I don't have a clue as to what caused the relationship to end, but I don't feel as though it's any of my business So I've taken on board everyones opinion. Invited her to a bbq a couple of our mates are putting on. Figured that is a good way to get to know each other and just see what happens from there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 My Italian cousin was at a cafe with her friend, crying in her coffee that her bf had dumped her that morning. A random guy at the next table, bought her a cream bun and had it served by the waitress, to cheer her up. Before he left, he gave her his card, with his phone number, telling her "your ex was an idiot to dump you. I think you are lovely. Call me if you'd like to have a bite to eat some time." and he left. Two days later, she rang him. They've been married 12 years and have 2 wonderful kids. I don't know of a stronger couple. Sometimes dating a break-up, is a rebound. Or sometimes, it's just dating a break up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sero Posted May 25, 2016 Author Share Posted May 25, 2016 So there is still hope Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 So there is still hope Sure there is. Just be sure to communicate positively, and clarify your position. If she needs to take it slow, do so. But don't be led on by her.... Link to post Share on other sites
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