Why are there so many broke and unemployed guys on OLD sites?

[Eternal Sunshine]

It seems like MOST men that I talk to are in various state of this. There is nothing that I find less attractive. My standards are so low, it doesn't have to be a flashy job: just be an accountant or a IT technician or something. Make an average income at an average job.

 

Some recent dates:

 

One guy was in between jobs and on the second date he wanted to tell me that he has no money to take me on dates so we would have to hang out at each other's places until he finds a job

 

One guy told me that he is a lawyer. He turned out to be unemployed and in the first semester of a law degree at 36. Probing further, he told me that he dropped out of 2 unrelated degrees because he got bored and really wants to be an actor:(

 

Another guy told me that he is a manager and was very vague about details of his job. It turned out that he stocks supermarket shelves at 40.

 

One guy told me on the first date that he recently declared for bankruptcy but has an idea for an app that's going to make him a billionaire soon

 

Couple of others were at the end of their contracts for random jobs with nothing new lined up.

 

I am really starting to think that men that are even somewhat stabilized (as in have regular jobs) are so in demand that they don't need OLD. Unemployment rate in Australia is actually pretty low

 

I work with a lot of medical doctors. 100% of them are married (regardless of looks) and each seems to have a que of eager women waiting to jump in at first sign of trouble in the marriage.

 

If I was a man, I would have so many options :/

[Alamo657]

I am really starting to think that men that are even somewhat stabilized (as in have regular jobs) are so in demand that they don't need OLD. Unemployment rate in Australia is actually pretty low

 

I work with a lot of medical doctors. 100% of them are married (regardless of looks) and each seems to have a que of eager women waiting to jump in at first sign of trouble in the marriage.

 

If I was a man, I would have so many options :/

 

Congratulation on figuring out the dating scene !

 

Joke aside, even unemployed men needs sex and love... it's just that they can't get it easily so they have to desguise he truth.

[Gaeta]

When I met my ex long term partner (online) he had just lost his job.

 

You probably would have passed him with no second thought.

 

I didn't.

 

I met him over a coffee, heard his story, his background, etc. After a little while dating I judged this man was not lazy, he was in transition and he'd pick up.

 

About 3 months later he got this very impressive position and a year later he was starting his 1st company. We are not together any longer but he is now owners of several companies and each day several of you buy his products and you don't know.

 

Eternal Sunshine: My advice to you is ...be slow to judge people.

[Woggle]

Times are hard these days and the guy at the supermarket at least has a job. I am doing well these days but I have been a t rock bottom so I don't judge.

[carhill]

Why are there so many broke and unemployed guys on OLD sites?

Underground economy and/or UI/SSI/SDI benefits cover expenses and free up a lot of time and creative juices. That's how it works in my area, in general. It may be different where you live. The main factor is time. It's entirely possible the same guys trolling the OLD sites are panhandling on the streetcorner or stoplight during the day. It's profitable. It works.

 

Also, anyone can be anyone on the internet.....

[No_Go]

it doesn't have to be a flashy job: just be an accountant or a IT technician or something. Make an average income at an average job. - just curious, what will be a flashy job? Associated with high pay or fame? Or special training?

 

I think OLD is perfectly representing the rest of the world. Most people have at least one OLD profile if they're single.

 

Here is the trick: if YOU list a good job, losers swarm around expecting a sugar mama. I've been coned onetime very badly. I've been coned by an IRL date too, so... It is ot OLD. It is your own status.

[Els]

My guess is that it's because OLD takes a lot of time especially for men (AFAIK men have to do most of the messaging, whereas women wait and see who messages them), so the ones with successful careers don't have the time and inclination for it.

 

Also, ES, I know two male doctors who are single (one of them has never had a girlfriend or even dated casually, at least so far as we know!). I don't think it's a guarantee for men either.

Edited May 5, 2016 by Elswyth

[dreamingoftigers]

I think you just described OLD.

 

I mean, who hangs out on OLD more often than others, increasing their chances of running into YOU?

 

Men who are not taken (or not taken enough to distract them).

 

OLD is such a disaster. IMHO.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Times are hard these days and the guy at the supermarket at least has a job. I am doing well these days but I have been a t rock bottom so I don't judge.

 

Yeah, at least HE'S working. Jobs now-a-days are what some consider "under-employed". Meaning, if you get a job it's usually part time w/o benefits or full time w/o benefits.

 

No real steady, bankers hours. Also, there's no permanency in jobs anymore. Gone are the days of working for General Electric (just an example) for 20 years and retiring.

 

Yes, people DID used to work for the same company until retirement, but now people last 2 to 3 years at each company they work for.

 

So you can't really begruge some people's situations.

 

I am a work-at-home self-employed worker and I've even had cleaning lady question it's stability. A cleaning lady of all people.

 

So if people aren't judging the unemployed, even if you ARE employed, they sometimes question the stability of the jobs your in.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Believe it or not, I've had contacted women on POF that were looking for a man to pay their bills or were desperate to move in with someone rent free. No joke...at first I thought it was a Nigerian scam, but when she gave me her phone #, it was an actual local number! LOL

 

Another woman said in her profile that she won't have sex before marriage, but is in dire need of a "room mate"/ sucker.

 

I said to one (was playing/flirting with her), "Hm, it'd be kind of tempting having a cute brunette around the house as a room mate/girlfriend." lol Didn't hear back from her after that.

[Robert]

Let's keep the posts about the topic please, insulting the thread starter isn't the best method of staying on topic and being point free, thanks

Edited May 5, 2016 by Robert

[angel.eyes]

It's primarily a combination of free time and options. Men who are fully engaged in their career don't have hours upon hours on end to spend on OLD (although they are definitely there). Additionally, they have more dating/relationship options and an easier time securing a relationship (so they don't have to spend quite as much time on OLD constantly searching for new dates).

 

If someone isn't to your taste, just move on to the next person. I wouldn't expend a lot of energy on why they're contacting you or get upset about it. If, however, the perpetually unemployed is all you attract (and I don't think that's the case for you), then I might examine what I was doing and saying that was attracting that pool but not others that I personally found attractive.

 

You're going to find all types on OLD, just like you would in the real world. Sift through until you find the right guy for you.

[GunslingerRoland]

There is nothing that I find less attractive. My standards are so low, it doesn't have to be a flashy job: just be an accountant or a IT technician or something.:/

 

 

So as long as a guy is educated and makes 6 figures, he's alright with you... definitely not high standards at all. lol

 

 

And of course more of the single people will be less desirable, most of the most eligible ones have already found someone, you have to weed through a lot of completely undatable people.

[mikeylo]

It's easier to hide behind a screen and feel a boss and project anything. They hope that someone would fall head over heels with them before actually meeting and might ignore that he doesn't even have a job.

[Tis]

While you can find normal men on OLD sites you have to weed threw a lot of strange ones.

 

Men that live at home with their moms will have more time to send messages to all the women in the area so they are more likely to contact you.

[losangelena]

Just a thought—but could your low standards be attracting these types of guys? Maybe try raising your standards a bit and see what comes along. I know you've said you have such low standards because you just want to meet someone, but honestly I think that does both you and the potential guy a disservice. I don't think any man wants to date a woman who thinks he's beneath her, or judges what he does.

[Larryville]

Why are there so many broke and unemployed guys on OLD sites?

 

A question like this always comes down to what that particular person is experiencing of course… but

 

What LA says:

 

Just a thought—but could your low standards be attracting these types of guys? Maybe try raising your standards a bit and see what comes along.

 

Broke @$$ dudes are on OLD to try and scam women who frankly don’t have high standards and settle. These broke @$$ dudes would not be hustling on OLD sites if there weren’t women willingly opening the door for them.

 

I know you've said you have such low standards because you just want to meet someone, but honestly I think that does both you and the potential guy a disservice. I don't think any man wants to date a woman who thinks he's beneath her, or judges what he does.

 

Well some dudes (who lack basic pride) will maybe hang on if the woman allows him to take advantage of a situation.

 

Let’s get real. If you are a woman, smart, highly educated, attractive (maybe if a woman is not so attractive), successful, money in the bank… and you have some broke @$$ dude (who might be attractive, but dumb inattentive, bad texter... LOL! un-or under educated, broke @$$ SOB) with you... don’t y’all wonder to yourselves why he hangs around?

[Buddhist]

I am really starting to think that men that are even somewhat stabilized (as in have regular jobs) are so in demand that they don't need OLD. Unemployment rate in Australia is actually pretty low

 

Not really. It's just that OLD is filled with people with no other options except to advertise. They obviously have character flaws which prevent them from meeting people casually and have to resort to putting up an Ad. Of course deadbeats are going to be out in force on OLD which is why I don't frequent it.

[Larryville]

I am really starting to think that men that are even somewhat stabilized (as in have regular jobs) are so in demand that they don't need OLD.

Unemployment rate in Australia is actually pretty low

 

Not really. It's just that OLD is filled with people with no other options except to advertise.

 

Ok let’s just get a grip here, some raw numbers

 

Total number of single people in the U.S. 54,250,000

Total number of people in the U.S. who have tried online dating 49,250,000

Total eHarmony members 16,500,000

Total Match.com members 23,575,000

 

This is just the United States alone (They obviously have character flaws) Ok so that an awful lot of people that has character flaws…

 

which prevent them from meeting people casually and have to resort to putting up an Ad.

 

So I am absolutely certain that there are more folks with character flaws in other countries as well.

 

I’m 52 years old, I’m not going to be constantly out at bars trolling for chicks, doing that bar crap to exclusively meet women gets old and no woman I would ever seek out would spend any significant time in any bar.

 

When it comes to other sources to meeting…. I don’t do grocery stores, gas stations, bus stops I spend little or no time in those places.

 

Me personally I have never had a real issue with OLD, I read profiles, screen well and communicate I have never just randomly sent messages to just anyone.

 

The problem is NOT OLD it is just a tool and if you either don’t know how to use that tool or use it incorrectly you will no doubt get burned. People who get desperate, lack the ability or EQ to weed out those deadbeats or who are poor judge of character will ALWAYS have issues with OLD.

 

How many people participate in this particular site? Are the members here and the posters deadbeats or have character flaws because they post about their problems? No!

 

Of course deadbeats are going to be out in force on OLD which is why I don't frequent it.

 

Ok so deadbeats also engage in porn right?

 

2,990,422,188. The number of searches for pornography since the start of 2015

 

Deadbeats are…

 

747,408 Registered Sex Offenders

 

Deadbeats are also?

 

7.3 million unemployed 92 million out of work in the US

 

Are deadbeats, terrorists, tax cheats, wife beaters, alcoholics, drug users just who are these people? But you focus on OLD users?

 

Sweeping generalizations are not cool in any context.

[No_Go]

I disagree with this.

 

OLD has many advantages to other forms of dating for people:

1) who do not have time to socialize (long/atypical work hours)

2) who do not have big local social circle (new in town)

3) who are introverted (I much rather start conversation by writing than 'cold', and despise group outings with my whole heart;))

4) who are looking for something specific (being physical parameter, religion, interest etc)

 

Not really. It's just that OLD is filled with people with no other options except to advertise. They obviously have character flaws which prevent them from meeting people casually and have to resort to putting up an Ad. Of course deadbeats are going to be out in force on OLD which is why I don't frequent it.

[No_Go]

Great post. It makes me think how the sets overlap.

 

People who get desperate, lack the ability or EQ to weed out those deadbeats or who are poor judge of character will ALWAYS have issues with OLD. - indeed, AND they will run into same types in dating situations starting elsewhere. I'm met a mooching ex on OLD, I met another one in a 'real' life situation (we started as roommates). I met a cute doctor, scientist and a few of engineers on OLD too. That's out of my total sample of ~10 OLD total first dates.

 

I don’t do grocery stores, gas stations, bus stops I spend little or no time in those places. - Stalking people in grocery stores etc IMO is the creepiest way to meet. I wonder why people consider it 'natural'. I'm searching for a cereal and a creep from the frozen food isle is ogling me ... blah, how romantic...

 

 

 

Ok let’s just get a grip here, some raw numbers

 

 

 

This is just the United States alone (They obviously have character flaws) Ok so that an awful lot of people that has character flaws…

 

 

 

So I am absolutely certain that there are more folks with character flaws in other countries as well.

 

I’m 52 years old, I’m not going to be constantly out at bars trolling for chicks, doing that bar crap to exclusively meet women gets old and no woman I would ever seek out would spend any significant time in any bar.

 

When it comes to other sources to meeting…. I don’t do grocery stores, gas stations, bus stops I spend little or no time in those places.

 

Me personally I have never had a real issue with OLD, I read profiles, screen well and communicate I have never just randomly sent messages to just anyone.

 

The problem is NOT OLD it is just a tool and if you either don’t know how to use that tool or use it incorrectly you will no doubt get burned. People who get desperate, lack the ability or EQ to weed out those deadbeats or who are poor judge of character will ALWAYS have issues with OLD.

 

How many people participate in this particular site? Are the members here and the posters deadbeats or have character flaws because they post about their problems? No!

 

 

 

Ok so deadbeats also engage in porn right?

 

 

 

Deadbeats are…

 

 

 

Deadbeats are also?

 

 

 

Are deadbeats, terrorists, tax cheats, wife beaters, alcoholics, drug users just who are these people? But you focus on OLD users?

 

Sweeping generalizations are not cool in any context.

[Larryville]

Attributes of some of the women I have met via OLD

 

Every woman I met all had at least Masters Degrees some had more than one, a couple had PhD’s

 

My ex-wife a prominent government attorney

 

A corporate executive

 

A part owner and board member of an oil company

 

Several teachers and several school principals

 

An executive in a pharmaceutical company

 

A woman who owned a chain of drug stores

 

Several successful business starters

 

A university provost

 

A physician and a couple of nurse practitioners

 

While things did not work out, I don’t regret meeting any of them good people, successful women and good mothers as well. These women could hardly be counted as "deadbeats", not by any stretch.

 

You have to make a conscious choice to go out with a deadbeat, unemployed or underemployed, uneducated, broke @$$, people men or women. That has NOTHING to do with OLD, that is on the individual.

Edited May 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed a potential infraction

[burnt]

No job or unstable job leads to depression.

Being single or lonely leads to depression.

 

Having no job and being lonely--that's … kinda doubly hard--isn't it?

 

The irony is, when you don't have a partner and a happy relationship in your life, you use work as a source of hope to keep going.

 

But when you don't have a job to use as a refuge, the desperation to be in a relationship becomes ten-fold stronger.

 

Job or no job, you can't stop the need to feel loved--can you?

[S_A]

Hmm... Thanks for posting this Eternal. It explains a lot. I considered doing some OLD late last year but backed off in part because all my competition seemed to be CEO's/Managers/Lawyers/Models/Physical Therapists. I was like wtf? I had a feeling a lot of those were bogus but still gave them the benefit of the doubt. I have a good job and enjoy what I do very much. Also the people I help show me a lot of gratitude.

 

I'm now starting to realize that when they said "CEO" they meant that they are the CEO of a company that they just started that is operating in the red. And that when they say "Model" they mean they are between jobs. The guy that says he is a Physical Therapist is probably a masseuse lol

 

Still, it'd put me at a disadvantage because I'd be honest on my profile while all the guys are lying. Some of them really seemed like they were lying, too.

[smackie9]

Me personally being on the same page financially is an expectation and what I see as part of compatibility. I'm not going to take up a charity case to see if and when they are going to get their act together. Most reasonable guys don't date until they do have a steady income anyways. BUT that's just me.

 

As for OLD....80 to 90% of it is garbage like players, wienies, jerks, lazy a holes, weirdos, creepers, guys with zero confidence, are married/have a GF and of course bs'rs. You know those who post a photo that's 10 years old, lie pretty much about everything.