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She sends emotionless texts


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I recently started seeing this single mom and she always wants to keep in touch with me if not every day then every other day. If I don't message her she will message me. She will call more than text, but when she does text the texts are very blunt with no emotion, no kisses on the end, nothing. It's like I'm talking to a distant friend.

 

Even in person she seems very unemotional and very sort of cold in terms of feelings but the passion and chemistry we have when we kissed for example was unreal. Never felt as good with a woman before. She told me the same on her end. Unless we are drunk and getting into it or whatever it doesn't feel like a personal relationship.

 

Now I don't want a thousand loved up texts all day long that drives me nuts and that's why I wanted her in the first place. She gives me space. She lets me breathe. But it would me nice to actually feel like I'm interacting with a girlfriend/partner. Instead all I get is 'Yeah I know lol' 'Morning' 'good night'. These texts are all for the most part initiated by her.

 

I've even made a joke out of it by putting some kissing emoji on the end and then when she doesn't reciprocate I'll say I don't feel important to you now, and then she replies laughing with a hundred kissing faces.

 

I've never been with a woman that didn't add kisses or call me 'babe' or some other generic term. Over and over is too much but at least make me feel like you like me.

 

is this normal? too much to ask? I just wanna feel like I'm talking to a partner not my mom or something

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amaysngrace

You sound immature and needy. And not in a good way.

 

She knows you want to be called baby and lovey and shnookum but if it doesn't come naturally to her then you're trying to make her be something she's not just so that YOU feel more comfortable.

 

So in essence your comfort matters more to you than hers does.

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You sound immature and needy. And not in a good way.

 

Is this a joke... can't be legit... seriously!?

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Handsome Librarian
Is this a joke... can't be legit... seriously!?

 

I think it is a lot of people here are fighting the war of the sexes or have some pretty messed up relationship issues. As for the op maybe she's not the droid you're looking for.

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Texts have emotion, you could have fooled me... texting is bland and emotionless, that is why they created the emoji, to help with that but it still doesn't work.

 

Go with your gut in what you see IRL face to face and on the phone..

 

Email and Text messaging lose the gestures and body movements that you need to properly communicate with someone to get to know them, use texting to setup dates and that kind of stuff but not to get to know someone.

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But HL… emotionless texts!? WTF!?

 

I also see people complaining someone is not a “romantic” texter, or a “lazy texter” Maybe after another cup of coffee this might make sense… I doubt it, but will try…

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OP, ppl just generally are what they are, so I'd take it or leave it. I mean, you could coerce her into adding smilies or being more text-engaged, but do you really want her to put on an act? She's low on text game - just who she is. Some ppl can improve thru organic interaction but if she's not responding well in your back-and-forth overall I doubt it's in the cards.

 

Time to contextualize the importance of your text life and decide if this is deal-breaker level or not.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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OP I'm like your GF - I can be dying for the guy, but will never send kisses or miss you/love you text cr*p... Just because it is not my personality and sounds sooooo fake to me. Also all the 'pet' names, especially the generic ones - babe/y, sweetie, beautiful, honey etc - almost make me sick. If I say them or receiver them I just try keeping straight face, but it's hard :D

 

Just take her as she is - because that's her personality, or date someone else. She MAY change to please you, but most likely the endearing expressions will always be uncomfortable to her... Which btw in the big picture of things doesn't matter much...

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Versacehottie

OP, I understand what you are saying and realize that as silly as it may sound, it can be hurtful and empty. You said she is good on the phone, why not try to shift the majority of your communication to phone calls, that would be cute anyway in a old-fashioned sort of way, lol ;)

 

Good luck

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Oh, jeez. Seriously? Texting is not the place to be romantic. And a mature full-grown woman may or may not feel like sapping up her texts with embarrassing imoges like a twelve-year-old. If you want to talk to her, call her or see her. Why waste emotion in text? It's the worst form of communication there is.

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Standard-Fare

OP, would you happen to be a middle-school girl?

 

Giving you a hard time, but really, this is not something a grown man worries about.

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Some of you guys are missing the point, or you don't talk to that many women. Pretty much EVERY female I have ever engaged with has been soppy with the text messages, some to the point of annoyance. Now the one I actually do really like and see a future with is pretty much the COMPLETE opposite, so I'm quite intrigued about it. It's NOT a deal breaker or a huge issue or anything like that, but I'm just wondering if it's normal for a woman who is so clearly into you to text you like how your mom or brother/sister would text you. I pretty much just assumed all women were like that (overboard with the kisses and emojis) so this one has shocked me with it, and I want your opinion on it.

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OP, I understand what you are saying and realize that as silly as it may sound, it can be hurtful and empty. You said she is good on the phone, why not try to shift the majority of your communication to phone calls, that would be cute anyway in a old-fashioned sort of way, lol ;)

 

Good luck

 

Thank you, lol. And that's the way we do communicate for the most part via the phone. It's just that SHE texts me and initiates the texts and then when I do put some type of effort into a reply all she puts is 'Yeah haha'. I can't do small talk and I do find it a little annoying. I mean what am I supposed to reply to 'I know lol'?

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amaysngrace

Oh. Yeah I think she's normal.

 

I actually get bothered when the guy I'm seeing uses them especially because he doesn't have an iPhone and they look ugly to me.

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It's certainly within the scope of 'normal' human/female behavior to not text effusively, yeah. Is there anything else about her that makes you think she's out of whack at all? If it's just her texting then it seems like it's so small as to not even register as a 'thing.'

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Some of you guys are missing the point, or you don't talk to that many women.

 

Pretty much EVERY female I have ever engaged with has been soppy with the text messages, some to the point of annoyance.

 

Now the one I actually do really like and see a future with is pretty much the COMPLETE opposite, so I'm quite intrigued about it.

 

It's NOT a deal breaker or a huge issue or anything like that, but I'm just wondering if it's normal for a woman who is so clearly into you to text you like how your mom or brother/sister would text you. I pretty much just assumed all women were like that (overboard with the kisses and emojis) so this one has shocked me with it, and I want your opinion on it.

 

Re bolded. It's quite ironic actually.

 

When women are soppy etc with the texting, you become annoyed.

 

You find one who is NOT soppy with texting, and you're intrigued.

 

So what's the problem again? Cuz I am a bit confused.

 

You are complaining that she's not doing the very thing you say annoys you!

 

Sounds like a smart girl. She knows what creates and maintains attraction and bombarding a man with soppy text messages isn't it!

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Re bolded. It's quite ironic actually.

 

When women are soppy etc with the texting, you become annoyed.

 

You find one who is NOT soppy with texting, and you're intrigued.

 

So what's the problem again? Cuz I am a bit confused.

 

You are complaining that she's not doing the very thing you say annoys you!

 

Sounds like a smart girl. She knows what creates and maintains attraction and bombarding a man with soppy text messages isn't it!

 

To add ^^ -- It sounds to me like this girl has thrown you a bit off balance, whereas with the others who bombarded you with soppy texts, YOU felt more in control.

 

Perhaps that is what bothers you.... that YOU feel off balance and a bit insecure. Unsure.

 

Is that it?

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strawberryshortstack
I recently started seeing this single mom and she always wants to keep in touch with me if not every day then every other day. If I don't message her she will message me. She will call more than text, but when she does text the texts are very blunt with no emotion, no kisses on the end, nothing. It's like I'm talking to a distant friend.

 

Even in person she seems very unemotional and very sort of cold in terms of feelings but the passion and chemistry we have when we kissed for example was unreal. Never felt as good with a woman before. She told me the same on her end. Unless we are drunk and getting into it or whatever it doesn't feel like a personal relationship.

 

Now I don't want a thousand loved up texts all day long that drives me nuts and that's why I wanted her in the first place. She gives me space. She lets me breathe. But it would me nice to actually feel like I'm interacting with a girlfriend/partner. Instead all I get is 'Yeah I know lol' 'Morning' 'good night'. These texts are all for the most part initiated by her.

 

I've even made a joke out of it by putting some kissing emoji on the end and then when she doesn't reciprocate I'll say I don't feel important to you now, and then she replies laughing with a hundred kissing faces.

 

I've never been with a woman that didn't add kisses or call me 'babe' or some other generic term. Over and over is too much but at least make me feel like you like me.

 

is this normal? too much to ask? I just wanna feel like I'm talking to a partner not my mom or something

 

Some women are just not comfortable with that kind of behavior. I'm one of them. Every so often, I'll end a text to my current partner with "xoxo" and even that kind of makes me cringe. I don't mind when he does it to me, and I do it back to make sure he knows the affection is reciprocated, but I'm not 100% comfortable with it. Now, in person, I love to show affection. Does she?

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I've even made a joke out of it by putting some kissing emoji on the end and then when she doesn't reciprocate I'll say I don't feel important to you now, and then she replies laughing with a hundred kissing faces.

 

So, she makes fun of you when you ask her for a show of affection. She doesn't sound like she's in the headspace to be in a relationship or like she's up for the rigors of relationship.

 

How cold is she with her child?

 

is this normal? too much to ask? I just wanna feel like I'm talking to a partner not my mom or something

 

It's normal FOR HER. This is how she is. She doesn't emote unless she's drunk, which means her guard is on high alert for whatever reason that she hasn't resolved. To protect herself, she doesn't allow her emotions to have their head.

 

But seriously--you need to tell her that you feel like you're talking to your mom with her---because she needs to know that her current MO isn't conducive to you feeling appreciated by her. I don't think a few terms of endearment are too much to ask of someone who is having sex with you.

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To add ^^ -- It sounds to me like this girl has thrown you a bit off balance, whereas with the others who bombarded you with soppy texts, YOU felt more in control.

 

Perhaps that is what bothers you.... that YOU feel off balance and a bit insecure. Unsure.

 

Is that it?

 

Yes you got it. But I like it though so it's weird. It's like I like it but I feel a bit uncertain about it at the same time. Today she hasn't had time to call so we've been texting all day, and even at one point I did receive the blowing kiss emoji ...lol

 

The chemistry I have with this woman is like nothing before. The one's who did keep blowing up my phone with countless messages I didn't feel anything for them so I can't complain, but it feels like I need a little text love every now and then to 'seal the deal'.

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Some women are just not comfortable with that kind of behavior. I'm one of them. Every so often, I'll end a text to my current partner with "xoxo" and even that kind of makes me cringe. I don't mind when he does it to me, and I do it back to make sure he knows the affection is reciprocated, but I'm not 100% comfortable with it. Now, in person, I love to show affection. Does she?

 

She reciprocates any affection I show her like kissing or hugging or whatever. But she doesn't call me 'babe' or 'beauts' anything like that. She doesn't initiate any personal affection but reciprocates mine.

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So, she makes fun of you when you ask her for a show of affection. She doesn't sound like she's in the headspace to be in a relationship or like she's up for the rigors of relationship.

 

How cold is she with her child?

 

 

 

It's normal FOR HER. This is how she is. She doesn't emote unless she's drunk, which means her guard is on high alert for whatever reason that she hasn't resolved. To protect herself, she doesn't allow her emotions to have their head.

 

But seriously--you need to tell her that you feel like you're talking to your mom with her---because she needs to know that her current MO isn't conducive to you feeling appreciated by her. I don't think a few terms of endearment are too much to ask of someone who is having sex with you.

 

She is quite cold with her children. Gets angry and snaps with them easily. I think she kisses them goodnight I'm not sure.

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Versacehottie
Thank you, lol. And that's the way we do communicate for the most part via the phone. It's just that SHE texts me and initiates the texts and then when I do put some type of effort into a reply all she puts is 'Yeah haha'. I can't do small talk and I do find it a little annoying. I mean what am I supposed to reply to 'I know lol'?

 

I get it. I have a few people in my life like this for sure. Idk, I put effort into whatever i'm doing usually including 95% of my texts so if mine became blunt that would be a "thing" or i'm driving. On the receiving end of more than a few blunt ones that are not to do with logistics (those I can deal with), it's no fun. Sometimes I understand it, sometimes I don't and yes it can be a little annoying or hurtful. I kinda take it that the conversation is not meant to be had at that time and drop off, but yeah....

 

Even one of my sweetest friends, a girl, a very boring texter. It comes off uninterested when I know she is not. But yeah she does exactly the "i know hahaha"---all the time. We aren't bf/gf so it's a different level of how much this affects me, with her I just take it that she is just better in person. She's not blunt but doesn't really know how to connect via text. Some (the majority???) of guys in my life are blunt, pretty much when they want to be and know how to connect via text when they want to. Idk, people are different. Try not to take it too personally, but yeah it's hard when it's the person you are dating/closest too and it essentially cuts off an avenue that "could" be yet another great way to get closer. Just try to navigate it the best you can by not putting too much emphasis on it and not letting it be the primary or even secondary way you communicate with her--make it a distant 3rd--maybe she will step it up.

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Versacehottie
She is quite cold with her children. Gets angry and snaps with them easily. I think she kisses them goodnight I'm not sure.

 

I feel like this needs an emoji: :mad::sick:

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Some of you guys are missing the point, or you don't talk to that many women. Pretty much EVERY female I have ever engaged with has been soppy with the text messages, some to the point of annoyance. Now the one I actually do really like and see a future with is pretty much the COMPLETE opposite, so I'm quite intrigued about it. It's NOT a deal breaker or a huge issue or anything like that, but I'm just wondering if it's normal for a woman who is so clearly into you to text you like how your mom or brother/sister would text you. I pretty much just assumed all women were like that (overboard with the kisses and emojis) so this one has shocked me with it, and I want your opinion on it.

 

So you've met someone who is different and it bothers you enough to make an internet post about it? Who cares what is 'normal' and the same as everyone else. You've found someone who is different and you've also found something to complain about this early on in a relationship. :roll eyes: IMHO you are making a big deal out of nothing.

 

No, not all women use emoji's like a tween. Get over it....:confused:

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