Is my ex beginning to miss me?

[feelingslightlylost]

Ok this may be a confusing story, so I apologise in advance, just try and stay with me! I was with my ex for 4.5 years. Around 2 months ago he ended our relationship saying he wanted to be alone and that he wasn't happy in the relationship anymore. I respected this but of course was heartbroken.

 

2 weeks later I heard that he had been spreading rumours about me. I confronted him about this but he ignored me, I figured this was because he was guilty and I left him alone harbouring ALOT of hard feelings.

 

A month passed and I began seeing someone new, nothing serious. But then I was hit by a bomb basically. I found out I was 3 months pregnant, obviously with my ex's child. I decided to contact him to tell him and he called me instantly.

He seemed really angry with me and told me he disliked me and would never want me back, he said he would try and be there for the baby. He then told me he had heard that I had a new boyfriend. I told him that was true. He said he was happy for me (Still sounded very annoyed) and then hung up the phone.

 

A few weeks passed, me and the new guy broke up as I realised it was unfair to rebound someone. I got an appointment with my doctor about the pregnancy as I have decided it's in my best interest to abort.

 

I contacted my ex with the appointment date because he said he wanted to know. We got chatting through messages. He spoke mainly about the baby and what we were going to do. He said he'd help me through all of it. He said he hadn't spread any rumours or lies about me as he 'wanted me to be happy' and that he didn't know WHO had been making the rumours up.

 

He also mentioned my younger sister, she's 2 years old. He asked how she was and then said he 'loved her to bits' I found this very odd, it was a strange comment to make when he chose to walk out of mine and her life.

 

He said that he didn't want to be mean or cruel to me but speaking to me was just making things harder for him in terms of the relationship ending. I got really upset and told him that the past 2 months had been a nightmare for me. I had lost my job, and my brother died, then obviously I found out I was pregnant. He told me he was sorry I had been through all of that but 'it wouldn't change things right now between us' He then went on to ask me about my 'new boyfriend' I told him the relationship had failed but we had sex before we broke up. I thought out of respect I should tell my ex this. He seemed slightly annoyed and said "I bet it was you that wanted the sex too, anyway I'm going to bed now. I'll see you for your appointment"

 

It's very odd that he made the comment about how I had obviously wanted sex too, as of course I did or I wouldn't have done it.

 

I may just be being hopeful but he has asked me an awful lot about my 'new boyfriend' I'm also feeling hopeful that he said 'things wouldnt change right now' as a few days ago he told me he never wanted to be anywhere near me again.

 

Please give me your honest opinions, if you guys think I'm being too hopeful then feel free to shoot me down because I'm tired of getting my hopes built up and then having them smashed. I've changed alot since he last saw me. I've lost a tonne of weight, I went and got an amazing new haircut and my style in total has changed. I always get compliments now on how good I look and I guess a part of me hopes my ex sees that at the appointment and wants me back.

Thanks.

[JewelD]

Yes, you're getting your hopes waaaay up. If somebody wants you, there's nothing that would keep them from letting you know that. He's made it pretty clear he's not into that. and even though he's asking about your family and your bf, it's just chit chat that you are initiating.

 

You don't have to tell him anything out of 'respect'. What you do with other men isn't his business and he will certainly feel odd and say unpleasant things if you mention your sex life.

 

I'm just saying, you're having his baby. If he still doesn't want to be with you, probably time to throw the towel in. Doesn't matter how pretty you are, you were pretty in the relationship too right? and he still decided to end it. You might be able to get sex from him, but he's not going to want you back simply because of your looks.

 

I think the best thing for you to do is focus on yourself and your pregnancy. If he changes his mind, he'll come to you and tell you.

[KatZee]

The only thing you need to be listening to is the part where he says nothing going on in your life would have changed the outcome of your relationship.

 

"He told me he was sorry I had been through all of that but 'it wouldn't change things right now between us.' "

 

It's over. Do not engage with him further. You're getting an abortion, there's no further reason to have him in your life.

 

He doesn't miss YOU, he misses the comfort he had with you. Being single after a 4.5 year relationship is very shocking. You're suddenly alone, no plans with the significant other, the routines are gone, etc. Most dudes cannot cut off relationships cold turkey, they will drop breadcrumbs to reel you back in so they can detach more slowly.

 

Don't play the game. NC.