Halo777 Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Hi everyone Thanks for taking the time to read this... Okay..so there's this guy at my gym, we've not spoken but when I'm there I sense him looking at me, so I then look at him, he then holds my gaze, we basically look into each others eyes for 3 seconds, sometimes longer, neither of us smile, no expression, but we look into each others eyes, only the eyes, nowhere else. We also end up strangely turning up at the same times, when we both don't have set times/routines, we park in the same area, here's another example, when I arrived at the gym the other day I swipe in at the front desk, look up and see him coming out of the changing room to go back into the gym, he sees me and we hold eye contact again. That is an unintentional 'meeting' almost like the universe is putting us in the right place/time so that it can happen. There's never a smile, just a look, wait until I look, then hold my gaze, he doesn't look me up and down, it doesn't feel awkward or creepy. But the gaze is held for 3 seconds or more it's longer than just a stare or an average looking at someone. Any thoughts on why he is doing this? Do any of you guys do it and why? Have any of you experienced this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Well, what if, instead of trying to figure out why he stares at you that way (you could be hypothesizing for a very long time), decide what you want to do with the opportunity. Do you think he's cute? Would you like to try and talk to him? If yes, then you smile next time, you say hi. See what happens. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
itstoni Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 I can think of two reasons why he would stare - 1) He likes you, and it seeing if you feel the same by looking at you. 2) You have something on your face. Like losangelena said, If you like him to and think he's cute - Smile back, a sincere smile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Is it the same guy you posted about a year ago ? If it hasn't gone beyond staring , the guy is no good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Halo777 Posted March 27, 2016 Author Share Posted March 27, 2016 Is it the same guy you posted about a year ago ? If it hasn't gone beyond staring , the guy is no good. Nope not the same one but he still acts awkward around me Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Most women don't want to be approached at the gym. Although I doubt men would care if a woman approached them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Hi everyone Thanks for taking the time to read this... Okay..so there's this guy at my gym, we've not spoken but when I'm there I sense him looking at me, so I then look at him, he then holds my gaze, we basically look into each others eyes for 3 seconds, sometimes longer, neither of us smile, no expression, but we look into each others eyes, only the eyes, nowhere else. We also end up strangely turning up at the same times, when we both don't have set times/routines, we park in the same area, here's another example, when I arrived at the gym the other day I swipe in at the front desk, look up and see him coming out of the changing room to go back into the gym, he sees me and we hold eye contact again. That is an unintentional 'meeting' almost like the universe is putting us in the right place/time so that it can happen. There's never a smile, just a look, wait until I look, then hold my gaze, he doesn't look me up and down, it doesn't feel awkward or creepy. But the gaze is held for 3 seconds or more it's longer than just a stare or an average looking at someone. Any thoughts on why he is doing this? Do any of you guys do it and why? Have any of you experienced this? Are you the girl from my gym? lololololol Joking aside, I've experienced this more than once and went through it again just recently. My advice: just approach the guy. The gym for most guys, the ones who are there to workout, are not there to pick up girls but are open to it if the right one came along. In the gym it's the woman who should lead. Don't do any of the hinting BS like stare, follow him around, put yourself right next to him hoping he'll break the ice... YOU SAY HELLO. I wouldn't feel comfortable chatting some girl up in the gym. It's just not my thing. I would feel comfortable if she said hi to me first then I would take the lead from there. That's just me, though. From what you described, as I've experienced the same exact thing, you two keep locking eyes and bumping into each for a reason. Break the ice. Say hi next time you see him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Halo777 Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 (edited) Are you the girl from my gym? lololololol Joking aside, I've experienced this more than once and went through it again just recently. My advice: just approach the guy. The gym for most guys, the ones who are there to workout, are not there to pick up girls but are open to it if the right one came along. In the gym it's the woman who should lead. Don't do any of the hinting BS like stare, follow him around, put yourself right next to him hoping he'll break the ice... YOU SAY HELLO. I wouldn't feel comfortable chatting some girl up in the gym. It's just not my thing. I would feel comfortable if she said hi to me first then I would take the lead from there. That's just me, though. From what you described, as I've experienced the same exact thing, you two keep locking eyes and bumping into each for a reason. Break the ice. Say hi next time you see him. Nope I'm in the UK. But just shows it happens often. I always think and from past experience, that when it keeps happening it's meant to, that we are meant to speak, but then I think well lets test that theory and wait The only other times I have ever locked eyes with a guy is before I end up with them. So I know it's a sign, yep I do like him, you know how it is you want to be prepared, don't want to look stupid or come across as desperate, I do wonder if he has noticed, how weird it is though, that without us even meaning to, we end up in the same place. The other thing is, the last time I said hi to a guy it went so wrong, we ended up together but it was an abusive relationship and took me 7 years to get out of, so part of me thinks, don't, but I have been single for years now to heal, but still weary and just want to make sure it doesn't happen again Edited March 28, 2016 by Halo777 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Nope I'm in the UK. But just shows it happens often. I always think and from past experience, that when it keeps happening it's meant to, that we are meant to speak, but then I think well lets test that theory and wait The only other times I have ever locked eyes with a guy is before I end up with them. So I know it's a sign, yep I do like him, you know how it is you want to be prepared, don't want to look stupid or come across as desperate, I do wonder if he has noticed, how weird it is though, that without us even meaning to, we end up in the same place. The other thing is, the last time I said hi to a guy it went so wrong, we ended up together but it was an abusive relationship and took me 7 years to get out of, so part of me thinks, don't, but I have been single for years now to heal, but still weary and just want to make sure it doesn't happen again Maybe I'm not entirely understanding what you mean by "meant to be," but I don't really agree with that notion. I don't believe in the notion of fate. I think if we want something to happen in life, we're the engine that drives it to happen. You are two people who frequent the gym at the same time, and you're interested/attracted enough to one another to continue looking at each other. OK then, if you want something to happen, then one of you needs to start the process. Do something, say something. Just because a bad relationship came of things the last time you said hi, doesn't mean that will happen again. Again, YOU are in control. If you say hi, and things progress, and you see that it's a bad relationship, you do not need to stay for another seven years. Saying "hello" to a man will not result in an abusive relationship, there's no corollary there. I don't mean to sound like I'm getting down on you, I really say this to be encouraging. If you want to, you're free to up the stakes of your interactions with this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Nope I'm in the UK. But just shows it happens often. I always think and from past experience, that when it keeps happening it's meant to, that we are meant to speak, but then I think well lets test that theory and wait The only other times I have ever locked eyes with a guy is before I end up with them. So I know it's a sign, yep I do like him, you know how it is you want to be prepared, don't want to look stupid or come across as desperate, I do wonder if he has noticed, how weird it is though, that without us even meaning to, we end up in the same place. The other thing is, the last time I said hi to a guy it went so wrong, we ended up together but it was an abusive relationship and took me 7 years to get out of, so part of me thinks, don't, but I have been single for years now to heal, but still weary and just want to make sure it doesn't happen again I do know, no matter what anyone says, even the person themselves, if I keep locking eyes with a woman, she's into me. I can just tell from the look in her eyes. Now lots of the time nothing comes from it, but it doesn't mean she wasn't interested in me. I understand not trying to look desperate, but the guy might feel he's a creep if he approaches you and you're not receptive. Then he feels awkward every time he goes to the gym. It's kinda sad when you think about it. You both probably are interested in each other but no one is making a move... you're concerned about coming off as desperate and him probably coming off as a creep... ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Maybe I'm not entirely understanding what you mean by "meant to be," but I don't really agree with that notion. I don't believe in the notion of fate. I think if we want something to happen in life, we're the engine that drives it to happen. You are two people who frequent the gym at the same time, and you're interested/attracted enough to one another to continue looking at each other. OK then, if you want something to happen, then one of you needs to start the process. Do something, say something. Just because a bad relationship came of things the last time you said hi, doesn't mean that will happen again. Again, YOU are in control. If you say hi, and things progress, and you see that it's a bad relationship, you do not need to stay for another seven years. Saying "hello" to a man will not result in an abusive relationship, there's no corollary there. I don't mean to sound like I'm getting down on you, I really say this to be encouraging. If you want to, you're free to up the stakes of your interactions with this guy. In this situation I think she needs to step up first. I bet that's what this guy is hoping for... her to break the ice so he knows "Okay, I can talk to her and I know she wants to talk to me." I think this is how many men feel at the gym. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 In this situation I think she needs to step up first. I bet that's what this guy is hoping for... her to break the ice so he knows "Okay, I can talk to her and I know she wants to talk to me." I think this is how many men feel at the gym. Yes! I agree! This is what I've been saying since post #2. Fortune favors the bold, OP. Stop looking for signs, that's just a way of stalling. Smile at him, say hi. You have nothing (ZERO) to lose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Fortune favors the bold, OP. Law Of Power #28: Enter Actions With Boldness If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous; better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no-one honours the timid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 I understand not trying to look desperate, but the guy might feel he's a creep if he approaches you and you're not receptive. Then he feels awkward every time he goes to the gym. That's just an issue of not sh*ting where you eat. Personally, I preemptively disqualify women whom I work with, live close to, etc. And I don't waver about it, either. That way you don't feel guilty for not taking every opportunity that comes along. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 The first question I have is are you attracted to him? If so, next time you lock eyes with the guy smile at him. This will at least communicate "Come and talk to me". Now of course there are no guarantees because some guys lack confidence, common sense, etc.. But at the very least, you can try to give the guy an opening if you want him to talk to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 That's just an issue of not sh*ting where you eat. Absolutely! I like having women around to look at but I like to be in the zone when working out. Mixing pleasure with power lifting doesn't bode well for me. Link to post Share on other sites
AMJ Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 He's probably interested in you, you should smile! However, he might have another reason for not approaching you- such as having a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Halo777 Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 Absolutely! I like having women around to look at but I like to be in the zone when working out. Mixing pleasure with power lifting doesn't bode well for me. Thanks everyone for taking the time to give advice/opinions, time is precious Ah you see here's the thing, I'm in the zone in my workouts, headphones on 100% in it, he is aware of this as he's seen me there enough to know. I don't speak to anyone during my session, I do my sets then leave. That's what I like to do, it's how I maintain fitness. So there's the headphone issue, the thing is if I all of a sudden don't wear headphones it means I'm not in my workouts 100% because music keeps me in the zone. I go there for that reason, to workout, so am not on the lookout for anyone, but with this guy it's super obvious, because he's making it obvious by looking to get my attention, which has now worked because well here I am. Obviously due to headphones he can't exactly interrupt, although many do which is annoying. With this guy he respects my focus. I'm more interested in my workout than meeting a guy, just being honest, if I had to choose it would be the workout, but I do want to meet someone. The other thing is he goes there with a mate of his, who seems more of an outspoken/talkative guy, it's almost like, well what I sense is, he won't approach me whilst he's with that guy. I went there today, he wasn't there, but I've said to myself next time he is, smile and see what happens... Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 A good thing would be to tentatively break the ice, smile and say hello. This would go down well with most people. The trick is to get started talking and then it's easier from there. You said he sometimes parks near you, so that might be an opportunity for chat if you happen to arrive or leave at the same time. Hmm you could also ask him for tips for using a particular piece of equipment because that's kind of flirting/not flirting so it wouldn't look like you're gung-ho but let him know that you're open to conversation. It may be that you already know the inside-out of a particular piece of equipment but just pretend you don't to break the ice haha I don't know but that kind of stuff works for me - men tend to like to show off their knowledge about something. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 This guy is smooth. I thought he was going to completely fail, but then he saved it at the end. https://plus.google.com/photos/photo/114982211379023905196/6092552887847889746 Fast thinking, good recovery. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 When he catches your eye, remove your headphones, smile and say "hi". Really people - what has happened to basic social skills? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Halo777 Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 This guy is smooth. I thought he was going to completely fail, but then he saved it at the end. https://plus.google.com/photos/photo/114982211379023905196/6092552887847889746 Fast thinking, good recovery. Classic I tie my jacket round my waist so no chance of seeing the booty! Can you imagine though if that happened, at least it would be a conversation starter! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Halo777 Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 When he catches your eye, remove your headphones, smile and say "hi". Really people - what has happened to basic social skills? I know but I wasn't going there looking for a guy, so it's caught me unawares. I want to smile to him but kind of hoped he would by now. Next time I see him I will and then update... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted March 29, 2016 Share Posted March 29, 2016 Thanks everyone for taking the time to give advice/opinions, time is precious Ah you see here's the thing, I'm in the zone in my workouts, headphones on 100% in it, he is aware of this as he's seen me there enough to know. I don't speak to anyone during my session, I do my sets then leave. That's what I like to do, it's how I maintain fitness. So there's the headphone issue, the thing is if I all of a sudden don't wear headphones it means I'm not in my workouts 100% because music keeps me in the zone. I go there for that reason, to workout, so am not on the lookout for anyone, but with this guy it's super obvious, because he's making it obvious by looking to get my attention, which has now worked because well here I am. Obviously due to headphones he can't exactly interrupt, although many do which is annoying. With this guy he respects my focus. I'm more interested in my workout than meeting a guy, just being honest, if I had to choose it would be the workout, but I do want to meet someone. The other thing is he goes there with a mate of his, who seems more of an outspoken/talkative guy, it's almost like, well what I sense is, he won't approach me whilst he's with that guy. I went there today, he wasn't there, but I've said to myself next time he is, smile and see what happens... Here's a suggestion: you write your name and number down and hand it to him when you're leaving the gym. Halo 555-1234 Call me If he's into you, he'll call. If not, join a new gym? Link to post Share on other sites
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