I find the girl of my dreams and shes taken...

[ireallylikeher]

Hey my name is Dave and I am so confused.

 

I am young, successful, and I just bought my own house. Then only thing I am missing is that perfect girl. I haven't dated in two years because lately all the girls I am meeting are just not doing it for me.

I am done with the clubbing hing and really just want to start a meaningful relationship and fall in love.

 

I met the girl of my dreams the other day and I mean wow. She took my breath away and not only was she beautiful but we had everything in common and shes down to earth and family oriented and I mean just the whole package.

 

The catch she has a bf. They have been together for couple months but he is a lond distance Boyfriend. She says they are having problems because of trust issues but hes moving down to be closer.

 

I know she has a bf and I Know its wrong but for some reason I cannot stop thinking about her. Its like we have this connection and I literally felt sparks looking into her eyes. I asked her out for coffee and she agreed but then called the next day and said she couldn't disrespect her bf like that and that she does like me but she just couldn't go out.

Then we had to see eachother again and we had the best conversation and I had to ask her out again and this time she agreed and we went out for coffee. I had the best time of my life. I know she did too. I wanted to kiss her but I held back. I showed her my house and played pool for a while.

 

She says she owes it to her bf to not do anything with me and she felt guilty about seeing me but she said she just couldn't help herself and I can't help myself either. I cant stop thinking about her. I dropped her off at her apartment and gave her a kiss on the cheek and she said we'll hang out again, but I don't know what I am doing and She doesn't either.

 

i have never felt this before for someone and it's not because I want to settle down because I have gone out on dates and the women were idiots. And its not the challenge that she has a bf because I don't need that drama in my life..but I realy really like this girl. Its just this feeling that youve known eachother for life, it jus feels right you know?

 

I dont know what to do?

[scooterb]

Tell her she needs to make the decision. She picks you and you will try to make her so inccredibly happy or stay with her boyfriend and you are gone.

 

Don't waste your time on something you might never have.

[scooterb]

incredibly....twitchy fingers

[glitter-gal]

My 2 cents: I totally agree! Let her make the choice & until then tell her it's a no go on the hanging out alone thing. Go out with friends but not alone, don't put yourself in a situation that maybe you don't need to be in. You say you don't want the drama so stay out of it because I assure you, if you keep seeing her and her man moves down you are gonna have some huge drama.

[Podna]

Well I hate to be a jerk here, but I say steal her away from him and run like hell with her. I mean, normally I would advise you to be very cautious. But I have never felt that way about any woman in my life, and if I did, I would never let some bf get in the way. I would start breaking out the war maps, and go to battle.

 

I hope you chew him up and spit him out dude.

May the force be with you.

[Sckott]

I've had the same experience lately. I met someone who was local to me, we both had very VERY similar interests to the point when we met, we couldn't believe it - Both of us nodding our heads in disbelief. I really thought it was going to be a second date "in the bag".

 

Then I call her one day and she tells me she's seeing someone else. She asks if I was mad, and I say no.

 

The truth is, a real match can happen, you can feel something real, but the search is not over until you've found someone who's dedicated to you....even if she seems like the one....sometimes she's not... Sad to say.

[browneyes22]

Absolutely..."the one" IS the girl who loves you back. This is the key.

 

I wouldn't bring this ultimatum on her...you will be in a hole (trying to prove your better than the other guy) even if she were to choose you. What you should do is just be yourself around her. Try not to talk about who she is dating 'cause that shouldn't matter to you. The goal is to get her out on a date with you regardless if she is seeing someone else. Let her make the decisions. If she likes you one day when you ask she will say yes. If she is happy in this other relationship, she will say no. In the meantime, you should persue other women your interested in. No sense wasting your time.

[d'Arthez]

My two cents on the situation

 

The fact is she is in a relationship with her boyfriend. She is not the only one who should respect her relationship. You should also do that too.

You could go out on a date with a married woman. Surely it is your responsibility you might ruin the life of the unknowing married man. Not only yours, but certainly partially it is your responsibility. Of course the commitments are not as strong between her and her boyfriend, but a commitment is a commitment. If you were in a relationship with a girl, you'd like everyone to respect that relationship.

If you are truly meant or each other, she'll come to you eventually.

 

Even if you did win her over, as most of the other posters suggest, there would be some trust issues, especially you find out she has a life of her own. First of all she has to break up somehow with her current boyfriend. Given the fact that she has agreed to be in a LDR with him, and had her reservations about drinking coffee with you, you would set her up to hurt her. Not healthy if you are to embark on such a relationship. Every argument you would have, every time she feels wronged by you, she can throw you that in the face. Especially if she thinks her current boyfriend is a good boyfriend. He does not have have to be close to be Mr. Perfect for that.

 

You state that you are succesful. Probably you are in a demanding career. Perhaps you work 60, 70 hours a week. I don't know. Maybe even a lot of travelling is involved. Just assuming. But consider then:

 

If you force yourself into a relationship with her, as other posters have suggested, you should think of the consequences that will have on your life. You don't want her to be lured away. Meaning for example her career, her home-life her other male friends et cetera. You would be frightened that she walks away from you because another man did not respect your relationship, just because you did the same thing to another man.

You can't realistically expect it does not have an impact on the people she is allowed to have around her. And also on the people you are allowed to have around yourself.

 

Its just this feeling that youve known eachother for life, it jus feels right you know?

Earlier in the post you mentioned you met her the other day. It takes weeks, maybe even months to get to know each other reasonably well. Probably you are more infatuated than anything else. You think you want her, but you may find out that is not the case. Then you may have shaken up her whole life, to possibly find out, you should not have been interested in her in the first place.