Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 Anyway I am drunk. Around 2 years ago, I met this guy in the first outing I had since I moved to this city. We clicked but I found out within 30 minutes that he is engaged to my co-worker and they are getting married in a few months. Whatever, I didn't give it anymore thought.. Fast forward a year. I find out his fiance and him broke up and she moved to another country. She is completely different person to what I am like if it matters. I got invited to this party tonight and I find out that he will be there. I deliberately go there with a plan to talk to him. It seemed to work well. He was checking me out, initiating conversation with me, laughing to anything I said. I had 3 random people approach me to tell me that he said I am hot and really likes me (they had no idea that I am interested at all). But the second half of the night, things seemed to go wrong. He started talking to other girls and soon after I went to a toilet only to find out that he left. Again no big deal, I hooked up with some random guy that was only 25. Am I right to assume that this guy is just not interested? Should I try to add him on Facebook? He is 10 years older than me but is miles better than any of the losers I meet through OLD... If he was interested, he would have stayed. I dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 It's not really possible to know if he's interested or not, but he finds you attractive, so thats something. Add him on Facebook, and see if he reaches out to you. You've got nothing to lose. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 He's probably not ready for anything serious. He almost was left at the alter, so he is just cooling it for now. maybe he will be more interested down the road. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 He could have had something prior he had to go to but regardless, he is old enough to know his own mind and get in touch 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Summer3 Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 Anyway I am drunk. Around 2 years ago, I met this guy in the first outing I had since I moved to this city. We clicked but I found out within 30 minutes that he is engaged to my co-worker and they are getting married in a few months. Whatever, I didn't give it anymore thought.. Fast forward a year. I find out his fiance and him broke up and she moved to another country. She is completely different person to what I am like if it matters. I got invited to this party tonight and I find out that he will be there. I deliberately go there with a plan to talk to him. It seemed to work well. He was checking me out, initiating conversation with me, laughing to anything I said. I had 3 random people approach me to tell me that he said I am hot and really likes me (they had no idea that I am interested at all). But the second half of the night, things seemed to go wrong. He started talking to other girls and soon after I went to a toilet only to find out that he left. Again no big deal, I hooked up with some random guy that was only 25. Am I right to assume that this guy is just not interested? Should I try to add him on Facebook? He is 10 years older than me but is miles better than any of the losers I meet through OLD... If he was interested, he would have stayed. I dunno. You could add him on Facebook if you want. I'm sure he'll accept. However, he spoke with other girls and then left which doesn't make it sound like he was all that interested. I mean, if I really liked someone I wouldn't talk to other people for any serious amount of time and then leave. I'd make reasons to pass by the guy just so we can talk. You know what I mean? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TXGuy Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 You need to keep playing hard to get. ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 I wouldn't bother. If he's interested, he'll make it happen. If not, it's a waste of your time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 He told them you were hot, not that he was "really interested in you." I'm afraid that is the situation. You weren't throwing yourself at him to hook up, so he hooked up with someone else. He's freshly divorced and not likely to enter into another serious relationship right now anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 Should I try to add him on Facebook? He is 10 years older than me but is miles better than any of the losers I meet through OLD... If he was interested, he would have stayed. I dunno. Wait. Does he know you well? Does he know you know his first and last name? He might take the FB request as you wanting to hook up - not in a good way. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Let it go, he's not worth it. If he was seriously liking you and into you, he wouldn't have flirted with other girls and left with one of them. Seems he's more interested in getting laid than having a serious relationship and wanting to get to know you. Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 From a mans point of view. Im allowed to talk to other people. It doesnt mean Im not interested it means I am a man and not clingy to one woman. When i ws in my teens I did the exact same as the above. I liked this girl I met int eh pub and i only spoke to her. Fast forward weeks later i found out she didnt find me attractive becuase i was "clingy" so now as Im nw older and more experienced. I do go out and enjoy myslef without being joined to the hip to a woman i find attractive. The very fact he hasnt asked for your telephone number or reached out shows hes luke warm to you. if I was interested i d not let you go. He finds you attractive but it doesnt eman he wants to be with you, thats all. I find other women attractive but there isnt any "chemistry" to pursue. Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Another tread suggesting issues with alcohol abuse and depression ... Guy is obviously not interested , ugh and probably you're not losing much ... 50yo dude drinking and hooking up with "girls" screams class... Anyway I am drunk. Around 2 years ago, I met this guy in the first outing I had since I moved to this city. We clicked but I found out within 30 minutes that he is engaged to my co-worker and they are getting married in a few months. Whatever, I didn't give it anymore thought.. Fast forward a year. I find out his fiance and him broke up and she moved to another country. She is completely different person to what I am like if it matters. I got invited to this party tonight and I find out that he will be there. I deliberately go there with a plan to talk to him. It seemed to work well. He was checking me out, initiating conversation with me, laughing to anything I said. I had 3 random people approach me to tell me that he said I am hot and really likes me (they had no idea that I am interested at all). But the second half of the night, things seemed to go wrong. He started talking to other girls and soon after I went to a toilet only to find out that he left. Again no big deal, I hooked up with some random guy that was only 25. Am I right to assume that this guy is just not interested? Should I try to add him on Facebook? He is 10 years older than me but is miles better than any of the losers I meet through OLD... If he was interested, he would have stayed. I dunno. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Another tread suggesting issues with alcohol abuse and depression ... Guy is obviously not interested , ugh and probably you're not losing much ... 50yo dude drinking and hooking up with "girls" screams class... I didn't see where he 'hooked up'. He talked to some girls, then left. OP herself admits SHE was drunk and SHE hooked up with a random 25 year old after that (no big deal). Where's the class? Who's not losing much? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 You probably have a point - I'm probably projecting because I'm not into party-types. I didn't see where he 'hooked up'. He talked to some girls, then left. OP herself admits SHE was drunk and SHE hooked up with a random 25 year old after that (no big deal). Where's the class? Who's not losing much? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 (edited) Deleted......... Edited March 19, 2016 by katiegrl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Summer3 Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 (edited) You probably have a point - I'm probably projecting because I'm not into party-types. No don't take back what you said. It was hilarious. But the dating world can be cruel. And when you want to meet someone there are times when everyone does foolish stuff. So the guy may or may not be kind of sleazy, it's hard to say from just a brief mention of his behavior. Edited March 19, 2016 by Summer3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 Just to clarify, he didn't hook up with anyone that night, he just chatted to some girls and left. He has a good reputation as not being party/fling type. Still that doesn't mean he is ready for a relationship. Also he is not divorced, his ex basically left him at the altar a year ago. I get the impression that he is still sort of hang up on her. Anyway as an update: I never added him to FB and nothing happened since then, I was mostly traveling so didn't do much socially. I recently reactivated my tinder account. I was browsing profiles and came across his picture. I swipe right for the hell of it and find out that he did too. I didn't wait for him to msg me, I just sent "omg you are on tinder!". We chatted for a bit and then he said "Look, I would much rather use other means to communicate with you than this stupid app since we already know each other. I had a lot of fun when we talked <at the social event> so how about we go for a drink sometime?". We swapped numbers and arranged to go out in a couple of days. I still get "meh" vibe from him. I think he finds me physically attractive but is not that into me. I guess I have nothing to lose. I just wish that for once a guy I was interested in felt the same way. At best they like the way I look, are open to giving it a shot but lack that strong interest to pursue that men get when they meet a woman that blows them away. When I sense mehness, I tend to lose interest quickly Link to post Share on other sites
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