Id10t Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 Hi all...new on here and just after some different opinions... Couple of years ago I met a lady at my sports club, didn't know she liked me, and then a year ago, we had an affair, both our marriages were bad, and we kinda fell together and fell in love, we are both now seperate do from our former partners... I have my house as she has hers.. She has two young children and I have a couple of older kids too.... Anyhow that's the background... What I struggle to understand, and I hope it's is just me not understanding, is we have a few friends jointly and it's OK to be seen as acouple by them, but any of her friends that she knows from when she was married, I am hidden, they know about me, but not met me...not that it's much of an issue, just more of why? Since Christmas myself and my daughter have been not allowed round when her kids are there...where we have known each other (kids) from the start.... And just before Christmas she wanted me to stay over so when the kids woke up I was there in her bed, bit didn't happen as I had to get to work before they woke, but now there is a complete reversal....I struggle to understand, and she won't really give me an answer, more than give it time...... Her kids love seeing me and my daughter, see them at the sport I mentioned and we always have cuddles etc...but I know they go and tell their dad about me and daughter, as 6 year olds do... And their dad looses it a bit and takes it out on his ex, my partner... There has been points where I have thought stuff this and wanted to give up, but when we are together it's good.... So do I stick it out, it does mess with my mind a bit...although there is a lot more than I can write on here....I just feel like I am a secret, kept at arms length....and how can a relationship move forward if there are more obstacles created...... Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 She's probably just ashamed of the relationship and rather than own it she makes you out to be the bad guy. It's probably easier for her that way. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 Have you asked her about it & have you shared with her that it makes you feel like she is ashamed of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Id10t Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 I am not sure if its ashamed of me, I will ask, but I do feel that asking things like that sticks a wedge in... I saw her last night at our sports venue, she had her children and the older one came up and gave me huge hug and told me how much she missed me.and this was a dont want to let you go hug... nice kid I am probably asking too much of the relationship, at the moment, she did say she cant give me what I want at the moment, and I guess I can wait.. we text and email through out the day, talk on the phone in the morning while she is driving to work and again at bed time...so I do get quite a bit of conversation, but I guess I do want more physical contact. her ex husband is a bit of an idiot, into drugs/booze, but unfortunatly still has to see his kids...he did threaten to sort out me and my family via text once, but the police sorted him out, but I think that maybe a bit of the reason why I am kept away from her old friends.. she knew I was a bit down about the relationship yesterday, and the first thing she said to me when I spoke to her is that she loves me, which she normally only does in person, so I think she is re-inforcing that she does care and its hard at the moment... ah well I guess 2016 will be another hard year for me... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 She wants to keep the status quo between her and her husband. Common friends will tell him things, and make the situation worse. You two are not looking good in the eyes of friends and family because you both were having an affair. She knows she is being shamed for what she did, so keeping you away from these people is her way to deal with the harsh opinions about your relationship. It's a no brainer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Id10t Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 Yeah I guess your right, and I suppose time will make it less of a problem Actually just had a call from her on her way to work, and its all good, one of her kids has issues reading and I have been helping research dyslexia etc, and I am the one she turns to, to discuss and say what happened.. so a good relationship, its just the other bits that I sometimes struggle with.. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts