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Women setting up their single male friends with their single female friends


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I've known many men of all ages races and backgrounds and none of them ever got the girl they're currently with or ones in their past by being set up by a female friend. This in general is not a big deal, but women champion this as a reason that its good to have female friends but this like never happens so whats the point? From my experience, if a girl doesn't find you attractive her friends aint either. Why does this myth persist?

 

Ladies of Loveshack... how many men have you personally hooked up with a single female friend in your life? Not stories from your cousin, sister coworker etc.. You personally? I've never in my life been set up by a female friend. Now One can easily argue "well your ugly so what do you expect?"(and I agree) but even attractive dudes I know say this doesn't happen to them so what gives?

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I've never done it with my friends, but I have had friends try to set me up. Disaster. :confused:

 

It works better to be set up with one of their family members.

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I can say I tried but I can't claim it worked.

 

 

One "date" I set up, the guy stood her up. I was ready to kill him.

 

 

One "date" she acted like a nutty jerk playing games about not calling him back etc. It took me almost a year to fix my friendship with him after that.

 

 

A guy I new wanted me to date his buddy but I turned it into a double date with my cousin. That didn't work out for anybody.

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A guy I new wanted me to date his buddy but I turned it into a double date with my cousin. That didn't work out for anybody.

 

Sorry, but lol. :lmao:

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The friend set up can be a death blow for all involved. I've been set up before and I can tell you if it doesn't work out, it can kill the the friendship.

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The setup fails.

too much pressure.

too much shoved in front of a total stranger.

 

Just inviting everyone to a party & let them meet and let nature take it's course is the only way it ever seems to work out.

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Not a woman, but I've been set up (blindly) twice. Hell no, never again. They throw you the most unattractive friend they have.

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I've set up girl friends w/girl friends if that counts.

 

This might be outside your experience bc it tends to be a certain type of woman - the matchmaker - who does it. When they do they do it a lot, but not all women do.

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There is definitely a 'pawning off' aspect of this that makes the concept unappealing. Surely the question will be asked, "Then why aren't you dating him." Nobody wants to be or get sloppy seconds/leftovers.

 

Outside of that, most women don't try to facilitate the meeting, they try to engineer the relationship. I've seen women completely ignore both parties taste and preferences and try to set two people up based on something like height, body type because they thought that they will be 'cute' together like a matched set.

 

Other times I've seen the opposite attracts game being played. They try to set up their wild child friend with Mr. Button down in hopes of creating some uber-couple or more likely to have someone that can have the stress of the friend who is out of control.

 

Other than that I can't think of any case where the match-maker was really taking the needs, taste and concerns of the actual people involved into consideration. It was just a big science experiment to them.

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^ They sometimes like to do it as a 'lonely hearts' community service - match up two singles who may or may not have anything in common, just bc they're single.

 

btw when I've seen this in action it's usually been by married women, bc, I think, they feel compelled to have everyone in their social circle pair off. Sort of a loose ends type thing. (But in those cases it's not an "I tried them and don't want so you can have" thing.)

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LookAtThisPOst
They throw you the most unattractive friend they have.

 

Exactly! lol

 

Good point,

 

If they do try to introduce you to one of their friends, she's usually twice my own body weight. I recall a female friend saying I could send one of her single friends <name of friend> to chat her up.

 

Being that I've been keeping in shape the past year and even lost some weight (toned up some), she wasn't what I was looking for. Later on, I noticed one of her female single friend that was more equal to me in looks. Decent shape, cute...but not a head turner either. Typically the same type of women physically that I've dated.

 

I asked about her to the same female friend that tried to introduce me to the aforementioned female friend of hers and she said, "You wouldn't be her type."

 

Then I asked, "Oh, so what is her type?"

 

My female friends' response, "I prefer not to say, I don't want to have to hurt your feelings" as if I wouldn't have my big boy pants on that I couldn't handle it. LOL

 

But that was the end of that conversation and there was apparently no arguing the point. Not even budging on the possibility.

 

But other than that one incident, like the OP stated I don't know anyone that would set me up with their female friends and if you happen to spot one of their cute friends and hint around at that friend providing a possibility of some kind of group gathering where you could be introduced...they deflect the topic of conversation.

 

I recall a male co-worker of mine that had a female married co-worker that had a single lady friend coming into town. He asked about being introduced...she agreed to it..but...it never really actually happened. There was no follow-up. lol Poor guy.

 

I've known many men of all ages races and backgrounds and none of them ever got the girl they're currently with or ones in their past by being set up by a female friend. This in general is not a big deal, but women champion this as a reason that its good to have female friends but this like never happens so whats the point? From my experience, if a girl doesn't find you attractive her friends aint either. Why does this myth persist?

 

Ladies of Loveshack... how many men have you personally hooked up with a single female friend in your life? Not stories from your cousin, sister coworker etc.. You personally? I've never in my life been set up by a female friend. Now One can easily argue "well your ugly so what do you expect?"(and I agree) but even attractive dudes I know say this doesn't happen to them so what gives?

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I've heard it said that men are better at setting up their female friends with a guy friend, than the other way around. Don't know why that is. *Shrug*

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Used to work in the old days but not anymore. Its not even a good idea to go through this dangerous zone anymore. Scenes get ugly at best.

Independent from friends is the best way to go.

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I've heard it said that men are better at setting up their female friends with a guy friend, than the other way around. Don't know why that is. *Shrug*

 

I don't know if that's true or not, but if I had to take a guess its because men aren't doing it with much of an agenda of pairing so much as looking at common interest.

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Ladies of Loveshack... how many men have you personally hooked up with a single female friend in your life?

 

None. Matching making does not interest me and I tend to think that if people are meant to be together they'll find each other regardless. I've seen other women do it and it's generally just a pity date with the least attractive friend. Taking pity on both the woman and the man.

 

I hate being set up, most people have no idea what I find attractive and are pretty poor at guessing it. I don't like being thrown into the path of a random stranger with whom I may have nothing in common.

Edited by Buddhist
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The set-ups tend to work very occasionally unless the girl is a skilled matchmaker - you kinda have to line it up for yourself. Rather than relying on her to do the legwork, you have to work on being part of her social circle - ergo extending yours - to do it, but you also have to prove yourself to be either trustworthy or have an aura of attractiveness, whether that's in your looks or character.

 

Preferably both :laugh:

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I think match making is okay if it's just putting two people in the same room at the same event and seeing if they happen to get along with each other. But I don't like it if it's done blatantly. My friends as much as I love them don't really know what I find appealing in the opposite sex and if they try to hook me up with someone, I usually feel that they are guilt tripping me into going with someone I don't really find appealing. I think matchmaking can carry a lot of expectation.

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dreamingoftigers
I think match making is okay if it's just putting two people in the same room at the same event and seeing if they happen to get along with each other. But I don't like it if it's done blatantly. My friends as much as I love them don't really know what I find appealing in the opposite sex and if they try to hook me up with someone, I usually feel that they are guilt tripping me into going with someone I don't really find appealing. I think matchmaking can carry a lot of expectation.

 

I guess with me it was more of a "I have a friend you might like, and if you don't, oh well. No guarantees."

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