Newly dating and valentines day

[iWopo]

I've been seeing this girl for about 3 weeks. I'm a med student, and I don't have ample amounts of free time, so we've only me about once a week (3 dates so far). We are not an official couple and are just casually dating. Normally, I never get a woman that I am dating any gifts, at least not until we are exclusive and are an official couple.

 

Since V-day is just around the corner, I don't know how to approach this. To me, a gift this early (and on this holiday) seems way, way, way too fast and needy. But doing nothing may convey I have no interest. Either option seems it could blow up in my face.

 

I have a clinical shift on the 14th, so I had planned on stopping by before work, pulling her outside and giving her a sensual kiss. No gift.

 

I figure the gesture would show her I was still interested, but not rushing into a full-blown relationship talk.

 

Or am I just completely off my rocker and handling this the wrong way.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Sorry but I don't see how a sensual kiss could be interpreted as a romantic valentines gesture, it is more of an everyday activity. Unless you have never kissed before, then it would have a special significance.

 

If you want to make a good impression without going overboard, get her a single rose. It will make her day.

[mortensorchid]

If you like her, give her a simple Valentine (as in a card). If you don't like her, give her nothing.

 

This is the formula I have followed. Guess what? A guy who likes you will do that, one who is just not that into you won't. That's what she will think, so decide what it is you will do.

[Qboro90]

The safest and guaranteed classiest route to take is flowers and a dinner date. If your schedules don't permit you to be able to go out to dinner on Valentine's Day then take her out the day before or after or ask her when she's free so you can take her out. You can send flowers to her house on v day which I'm sure she'd love... Or you can wait until your dinner date and bring them in person.

 

I never give "gifts" on Valentine's Day and stick to flowers and dinner. It all depends on the girl you're with tho. My girl specifically told me when we first started dating that she absolutely did not want any gifts or expensive surprised for Valentine's Day and she would much rather prefer to go out to eat, flowers, and a personal written card. Lots of girls want more than that so you would know better than anyone what kind of girl yours is. If you set the precedent of giving gifts on Valentine's Day now, this early on, then you will be forced to continue giving gifts and topping yourself each year you're with her. Don't dig that grave for yourself.

[salparadise]

Ah, cmon dude... give her a rose, a box of candy and a card (or two of the three). Don't be a tight ass. All it means is that you are acknowledging her on this designated day (even though it's somewhat contrived). I went out with someone for the first time on V-Day a couple of years ago. I gave her a rose and candy. No big deal. Keep it simple, but don't show up empty handed. What kind of person does that?

[Qboro90]

Ah, cmon dude... give her a rose, a box of candy and a card (or two of the three). Don't be a tight ass. All it means is that you are acknowledging her on this designated day (even though it's somewhat contrived). I went out with someone for the first time on V-Day a couple of years ago. I gave her a rose and candy. No big deal. Keep it simple, but don't show up empty handed. What kind of person does that?[/QUOTE]

 

Someone who doesn't want to get laid.

[d0nnivain]

The kiss is nice but a card that simply says Happy Valentine's Day & some chocolate show you are a generous traditional guy. You can spend less than $10 but still "celebrate" the holiday. They have cards at WalMart for $0.47 & small heart boxes of candy for $1. To do nothing making you look both emotionally & financially withholding.

[OpenBook]

This is why I hate Valentines Day. Anybody who's dating is caught up in this ridiculous dilemma. It's a casual cultural/social event that makes lovers everywhere feel obligated to provide a forced expression of emotion, and puts unnecessary pressure on a budding relationship. Love (and what builds up to it) should NEVER be forced or obligated.

 

I sympathize with your plight, OP.

[ses]

I would keep it simple and write a heartfelt, genuine message in a card, and maybe have a few chocolates inside. A kiss will let her know you dig her—nothing else. You need to make the effort to sustain the interest, especially if you're looking for a relationship down the road. I know clinicals are intense so try to schedule time to see her when you're free.

[spiderowl]

A little gift would be a nice, sincere gesture, showing you are interested in her and not being too casual about it. Could be chocs or flowers or something. I know you are not dating seriously at the moment but it's Valentine's Day. I think a woman would be thrilled to see some kind of gesture from a guy and wouldn't interpret it as needy. Any other time, it might be too much, but not on Valentine's Day.

[iWopo]

I read through all the postings, thanks for the input.

 

I will be getting her flower with a small attached paper with an inside joke, as well as spending a little time together. No cards, chocolates, or bouquets of flowers...that is all far too much for only having seen her 3 times.

 

To some it may seem lackluster, but from past experiences, too much too fast always ends up driving them away. Gifts and cards this early just screams needy.

 

Giving a simple flower and inside joke in person should be enough at this point to show that I like her enough to go out of my way and make time to do this. (she knows how busy I am with school/clinicals/work).

[Scarlett.O'hara]

That is a great idea. I'm sure she will really appreciate it.