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Dating a younger girl


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Old 12th February 2016, 1:18 PM   #1
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Dating a younger girl

I started dating this girl a few weeks ago that I met online. We are both female and she is 7 years younger than me. I just turned 30 and she is 23. It made me uncomfortable at first, but we get along very well and hit things off and she's very mature for her age. Basically we both got out of relationships 5 months ago and our very nervous to date anyone. She said she is scared to let herself like me and I've said the same. But we went on about four dates and ended up admitting to each other that we did like each other, and then started with the daily texting, I miss yous, etc. Well last Sunday I stupidly accidentally sent her a text meant for my friend saying "I like her a lot but I don't get why she would want to date a 30 year old." Basically this is a jab at myself but she felt weird about it and said she wasn't sure she wanted to meet up with me that night because she doesn't want to show up butthurt. Well I convinced her to still see me and apologized and we ended up having an amazing time and sleeping together, which confused me because she told me we were going to take it slow. I stopped her in the middle of it and said "what are we doing? I thought you wanted to take it slow?" And she said she meant emotionally, not physically. At the end of the date she told me I scared her because she didn't want to like me so much. Well ever since that night she barely talks to me. It's been a week now and I've only gotten a handful of "how are you?" But when I reply she doesn't respond.. She finally said she's had a crazy week and is sorry she's been so spacey, but it just doesn't follow the patterns of her behavior last week when she was all over me texting wise and also just as busy. She also usually would have told me she wants to see me again soon and hasn't. I'm wondering if she lost interest. Honestly the age thing is still a little weird to me, and it does make me feel a little insecure, but I'm trying to be open minded because I like this girl. Should I believe her or just move on? Is the flakiness just an age thing? Am I just being paranoid? I understand being busy, but it's getting annoying to get half ass texts and then ignore me the rest of the day. I just don't want to waste my time. I'm not looking to have a serious relationship right this second, but I'm also past the point of playing games. The last girl I dated slept with me and then slowly started talking to me less and less and basically broke my heart, so I guess I'm damaged in the respect. I guess I'm wondering if I should just leave it up to her at this point and not even try to initiate conversation anymore because I feel stupid when she doesn't say anything back for a whole day. I've literally gotten two how are yous and three sorry I've been spacey texts, but hasn't responded to my how are yous. Last night I told her I missed her a little and she just said sorry I've been spacey again! I don't need constant texting or contact, but I like for the little contact to be quality contact. I just feel like she's over it. But please tell me if I'm just being a freak. Maybe I expect too much or she's still offended about what I said but I just don't know what to do. We have known each other only 3 weeks so I'm most likely being dumb, but at the same time I know all the bad signs. And please don't scold me over the age thing. I wasn't looking for it.
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Old 12th February 2016, 1:30 PM   #2
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Hmmm...how was the sex? Awkward?
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Old 12th February 2016, 1:54 PM   #3
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No, it was good.
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Old 12th February 2016, 3:39 PM   #4
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I meant, for her...?

That's the only reason I can think of not wanting to talk to a guy after sleeping with him...something about the physical connection is off.
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Old 12th February 2016, 3:41 PM   #5
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Have you actually asked her out again? Have you initiated texts with her?
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Old 12th February 2016, 3:46 PM   #6
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Have you tried calling her?
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Old 12th February 2016, 3:52 PM   #7
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No, I haven't asked her out again. Because this whole week every time I even ask her how she's doing, she ignores it and then like 10 hrs later, says she is so sorry for being spacey, that her week has been crazy. Like I haven't even had a chance to talk to her at all. I've initiated a few times. I understand people get busy but after not getting much back for a week, I feel sort of dumb. I don't know, something just seems off. She does reply eventually but for example if I said good morning! Hope you have a good day she replies with hey and then says nothing else the whole day. So Ill ask her how she is the next day and she just apologizes again for being spacey but won't answer the question. It's just frustrating.

Maybe I'm overthinking. My friends tell me it's a good sign that she's replying at all, but she doesn't really seem into it. I asked her if everything was okay and she just keeps saying sorry.
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Old 12th February 2016, 4:02 PM   #8
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Here is how I read it:

You sent a text that was for someone else that had an edge of insecurity to it.
Then you convinced the girl to meet up with you when she was hesitant and perhaps needed space.
Then you were physically intimate.

All of these things, especially together, could make someone who needs to take things slow feel overwhelmed.

The best thing to do is give her space and let her come to you. If she likes you, she will be in contact.
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Old 12th February 2016, 4:15 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinnamonstix View Post
Here is how I read it:

You sent a text that was for someone else that had an edge of insecurity to it.
Then you convinced the girl to meet up with you when she was hesitant and perhaps needed space.
Then you were physically intimate.

All of these things, especially together, could make someone who needs to take things slow feel overwhelmed.

The best thing to do is give her space and let her come to you. If she likes you, she will be in contact.
Thank you. I think you may be right. I'm just confused because she was the one who pushed for the physical intimacy that night. So I haven't known what to make of her behavior is all. She also asked to keep my shirt that night, so if she doesn't like me, I want it back dang it.
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Old 12th February 2016, 4:19 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wanderlust2386 View Post
Thank you. I think you may be right. I'm just confused because she was the one who pushed for the physical intimacy that night. So I haven't known what to make of her behavior is all. She also asked to keep my shirt that night, so if she doesn't like me, I want it back dang it.
Cut your losses and move on.
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