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What do I do?

Torrent9420

By Torrent9420,
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Torrent9420

Torrent9420

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Hello I dated a girl, we are both 23. We dated for 7 months. However I had decided to break up with her because of the way she treated me and acted. She always used to brag about her never being dumped and her always dumping people, she would always tell me that some guy was trying to hit on her. She would even hang out with guys. But here is the catch when I would watch tv she would always get mad because there were women on the screen (actresses) she would give me the cold shoulder and get jealous. When I used to go home, she would say that you are jacking off thinking of other women (Which I didn't think of) and said that it bothers her because she does know for sure what I am thinking. She used to get mad if a girl talked to me, if I looked around she would get upset and say Im looking at other girls when I wasn't. At the end I got so annoyed and ended up leaving her. The same day she stayed outside my house for 5 hours until I would come out, her friend joined her after. She left a note in my mail box saying “She wishes me well and that she will always love me, and that she cannot live with herself anymore.” She than sent me an email (Could not contact me anymore because I changed my number) saying hateful things.. than the rest of the night long emails of her crying saying she wants to hurt herself. The next day she left flowers on my car. The day after she showed up at my car when I left work saying that she wanted to get back with me and that she knows I am the one and her soul mate. She went a doc to get pills for her things and said that she went to go get help, so that we could be together, I told her that I just wanted to be friends for now and that what ever happens, happens. Down the line, I asked her if she wanted to join me and getting something (AS FRIENDS) she said yes, next thing I know she shows up with a sexy outfit, puts my hands on her legs and upper. Next thing I know I have sex with her. SHE SEDUCED ME! Now she is saying that we are seeing each other and I dont know what to do.. I do love her but I feel she is trying to control me again and cant handle the fact that I dumped her. What do I do? How can she change in like a week now.. she says she did.

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smudge21

smudge21

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Erm... yep, she's nuts. Seriously she has issues and needs to deal with them instead of just using you to bounce off. You know this isn't right so either deal with it and watch it continue. It's sad but you can only ever help those that want help, and maybe she doesn't or isn't willing to. Your call but I'd try to help to a point and then walk away if I couldn't. You can only do so much. Oh and having sex with her is only going to send the one signal to her, so stop that.

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Torrent9420

Torrent9420

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Erm... yep, she's nuts. Seriously she has issues and needs to deal with them instead of just using you to bounce off. You know this isn't right so either deal with it and watch it continue. It's sad but you can only ever help those that want help, and maybe she doesn't or isn't willing to. Your call but I'd try to help to a point and then walk away if I couldn't. You can only do so much. Oh and having sex with her is only going to send the one signal to her, so stop that.

 

But why did she do all this and SEDUCE ME!?

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Redhead14

Redhead14

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Hello I dated a girl, we are both 23. We dated for 7 months. However I had decided to break up with her because of the way she treated me and acted. She always used to brag about her never being dumped and her always dumping people, she would always tell me that some guy was trying to hit on her. She would even hang out with guys. But here is the catch when I would watch tv she would always get mad because there were women on the screen (actresses) she would give me the cold shoulder and get jealous. When I used to go home, she would say that you are jacking off thinking of other women (Which I didn't think of) and said that it bothers her because she does know for sure what I am thinking. She used to get mad if a girl talked to me, if I looked around she would get upset and say Im looking at other girls when I wasn't. At the end I got so annoyed and ended up leaving her. The same day she stayed outside my house for 5 hours until I would come out, her friend joined her after. She left a note in my mail box saying “She wishes me well and that she will always love me, and that she cannot live with herself anymore.” She than sent me an email (Could not contact me anymore because I changed my number) saying hateful things.. than the rest of the night long emails of her crying saying she wants to hurt herself. The next day she left flowers on my car. The day after she showed up at my car when I left work saying that she wanted to get back with me and that she knows I am the one and her soul mate. She went a doc to get pills for her things and said that she went to go get help, so that we could be together, I told her that I just wanted to be friends for now and that what ever happens, happens. Down the line, I asked her if she wanted to join me and getting something (AS FRIENDS) she said yes, next thing I know she shows up with a sexy outfit, puts my hands on her legs and upper. Next thing I know I have sex with her. SHE SEDUCED ME! Now she is saying that we are seeing each other and I dont know what to do.. I do love her but I feel she is trying to control me again and cant handle the fact that I dumped her. What do I do? How can she change in like a week now.. she says she did.

 

She didn't change. She's the same person you started dating and was jealous, controlling and unpredictable. She seduced you because she want's validation that she is so gorgeous, so sexy, so desireable that a man would let that negate all the things he knows about her and make her his girlfriend again.

 

In addition, she probably plays games with men to see just how much they will put up with and the more they put up with, the better it makes her feel "This/these guys must really think I'm beautiful. I have them wrapped around my finger". Bottomline, she looks for doormats . . . so she can do whatever the heck she feels like and keep them at her beck and call.

 

I feel she is trying to control me again and cant handle the fact that I dumped her. -- Bingo! And, guess what, you fell for it. Tell her to move on and go no contact and stick to it.

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Zahara

Zahara

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But why did she do all this and SEDUCE ME!?

 

Why did she seduce you? She said she wants to be with you and you rejected her. She can't handle rejection. She said that no one dumps her. You did and it's hurt her ego. She upped her game plan and turned up in lingerie to entice you. You could have said no and you could have shut the door on her but you chose to have sex with someone that is clearly emotionally unstable. So you're responsible as well.

 

Stop having sex with her. Don't make empty promises about "maybe in the future" and sending out mixed signals. Don't engage.

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Robratory

Robratory

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But why did she do all this and SEDUCE ME!?

 

Because she has emotional issues (i.e. she's nuts). There's nothing you can do, and the best thing for you to do is to put and maintain a firm distance between you and her.

 

Standing outside your home for five hours? That's a little worrisome. If she escalates her behavior, consider getting a restraining order against her.

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Torrent9420

Torrent9420

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She didn't change. She's the same person you started dating and was jealous, controlling and unpredictable. She seduced you because she want's validation that she is so gorgeous, so sexy, so desireable that a man would let that negate all the things he knows about her and make her his girlfriend again.

 

In addition, she probably plays games with men to see just how much they will put up with and the more they put up with, the better it makes her feel "This/these guys must really think I'm beautiful. I have them wrapped around my finger". Bottomline, she looks for doormats . . . so she can do whatever the heck she feels like and keep them at her beck and call.

 

I feel she is trying to control me again and cant handle the fact that I dumped her. -- Bingo! And, guess what, you fell for it. Tell her to move on and go no contact and stick to it.

 

You think she is going after me that much because Im the guy she cant have?

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Robratory

Robratory

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You think she is going after me that much because Im the guy she cant have?

 

Man, you can't figure out crazy. You just can't. If you could, it wouldn't be crazy.

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Redhead14

Redhead14

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You think she is going after me that much because Im the guy she cant have?

 

It doesn't matter. She treated you badly, you moved on. Keep moving. We can try to read her mind, but it's waste of time. Bottomline, you can't read her mind so there's no way to know what her motives are necessarily. What we do know is that she is controlling, jealous, stalked you for 5 hours and desperate. She is a manipulator too. She used sex to try to reel you back in. It happened and now she's declaring you as a couple again without so much as a conversation with you apparently. She's probably had a number of boyfriends who have moved on from her who drew a line and kept moving. She just wants a boyfriend and doesn't really care who it is . . . you just happen to be the one who makes her think the door is still open by trying to remain friends. She's unstable.

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Torrent9420

Torrent9420

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So this guy she claimed was like her best friend and that has called her infront of me and they talked. She showed me a text saying "What do I tell him?" he was asking her out, which than led me to tell her, why is he asking you out if we have been dating 7 months, unless he doesnt know, so you know what, go out with him because im done. She lost it and got mad saying that I was a jerk and that im insecure and everything, Im sorry but she got mad for me watching tv saying that all guys cheat. But she can do all this *, and brag everyday to me about guys hitting on her and than her telling me she loves me. No.

 

When I blocked her for good, she deleted every single picture of me 1 hour later. What does this mean? what was going on? Did I do the right thing? Please explain to me.

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smackie9

smackie9

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So this guy she claimed was like her best friend and that has called her infront of me and they talked. She showed me a text saying "What do I tell him?" he was asking her out, which than led me to tell her, why is he asking you out if we have been dating 7 months, unless he doesnt know, so you know what, go out with him because im done. She lost it and got mad saying that I was a jerk and that im insecure and everything, Im sorry but she got mad for me watching tv saying that all guys cheat. But she can do all this *, and brag everyday to me about guys hitting on her and than her telling me she loves me. No.

 

When I blocked her for good, she deleted every single picture of me 1 hour later. What does this mean? what was going on? Did I do the right thing? Please explain to me.

You don't need anything explained. She's crazy and you need to erase her from your memory.

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preraph

preraph

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She's too far gone. Way beyond normal jealousy. Please extract yourself from that situation and keep her out of your life. A person like that will mess you up with any other women on purpose.

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Redhead14

Redhead14

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But from what happened here she was cheating on me right ?

 

Son, we don't know what she was doing. And, it doesn't matter nor is it important at this point. What is important is that she treated you badly, you were unhappy with her PERIOD. Take all the emotional energy you are now expending trying to be in her head and get out and start dating other girls, having a good time with friends and move forward with your life. Don't let her take up any more of your life. Get out of your own head too. Give yourself a break.

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Torrent9420

Torrent9420

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Son, we don't know what she was doing. And, it doesn't matter nor is it important at this point. What is important is that she treated you badly, you were unhappy with her PERIOD. Take all the emotional energy you are now expending trying to be in her head and get out and start dating other girls, having a good time with friends and move forward with your life. Don't let her take up any more of your life. Get out of your own head too. Give yourself a break.

 

Your right that is what I will start doing.. Let live and let learn. This was a learning experience for me..

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