truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Here's a scenario: girl is interested in me, I am interested in her. She "changes" her mind, dates someone else. Her friend now is interested and thinks we should date. I find this to be insulting. The arrogance of this friend to assume I will throw myself at her. Are people today on crack 24/7? I liked the other girl, didn't happen... so I'm just suppose to get with her friend? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 The friend was interested, maybe had been all along, and wanted to see if you shared that interest. What's to feel insulted about? 15 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Here's a scenario: girl is interested in me, I am interested in her. She "changes" her mind, dates someone else. Her friend now is interested and thinks we should date. I find this to be insulting. The arrogance of this friend to assume I will throw myself at her. Are people today on crack 24/7? I liked the other girl, didn't happen... so I'm just suppose to get with her friend? Could be her friend like you before her friend did and then changed her mind. What's wrong with her friend? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) Here's a scenario: girl is interested in me, I am interested in her. She "changes" her mind, dates someone else. Her friend now is interested and thinks we should date. I find this to be insulting. The arrogance of this friend to assume I will throw myself at her. Are people today on crack 24/7? I liked the other girl, didn't happen... so I'm just suppose to get with her friend? Excuse me...wha? How do you go from -- she in interested in me and thinks we should date -- to -- she is arrogant for assuming I will throw myself at her? All she did was express interest in dating you! Is that not allowed in your world? I think you're pissed off that the girl you actually like isn't interested... and since you can't get mad at her.... you misplace your anger and direct it at her friend who IS interested in you. Edited February 11, 2016 by katiegrl 15 Link to post Share on other sites
WomenWubber Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 If you want to feel insulted, by all means. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Excuse me...wha? How do you go from -- she in interested in me and thinks we should date -- to -- she is arrogant for assuming I will throw myself at her? All she did was express interest in dating you! Is that not allowed in your world? I think you're pissed off that the girl you actually like isn't interested... and since you can't get mad at her.... you misplace your anger and direct it at her friend who IS interested in you. You're wrong. It's how it comes across - please think about it from my perspective. Girl is interested in Guy, Guy is interested in Girl. Girl decides, I like someone else better, so I am no longer interested. Guy is disappointed and moves on. Girl's friend is single. Girl suggests: I don't have interest in him anymore, you can go him. Friend decides to go for guy thinking he will gladly accept. Is that scenario not somewhat insulting to the guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 What's wrong with her friend? Don't find her attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 You're wrong. It's how it comes across - please think about it from my perspective. Girl is interested in Guy, Guy is interested in Girl. Girl decides, I like someone else better, so I am no longer interested. Guy is disappointed and moves on. Girl's friend is single. Girl suggests: I don't have interest in him anymore, you can go him. Friend decides to go for guy thinking he will gladly accept. Is that scenario not somewhat insulting to the guy? But is that what actually happened or what you think happened? Maybe girl was flirty with guy, guy interested in girl. Girl finds someone she wants to date, stops playful flirting with guy. Girl's friend liked guy all along but didn't want to make a move in case friend was interested, as good friends do. Guy is bitter about it. Guy loses both. I'd be flattered! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Well, whether you "should be" insulted or not, you are, so there you go. I doubt you'd be so insulted if you found this woman attractive. 14 Link to post Share on other sites
Author truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 But is that what actually happened or what you think happened? Maybe girl was flirty with guy, guy interested in girl. Girl finds someone she wants to date, stops playful flirting with guy. Girl's friend liked guy all along but didn't want to make a move in case friend was interested, as good friends do. Guy is bitter about it. Guy loses both. I'd be flattered! The scenario I described is accurate. I never found the friend to be attractive. I do find it insulting the friend thinks I will go for her. Am I some kind of toy? Lets reverse using me and Katie Girl as an example. I have interest in her and she has interest in me. I change my mind and date someone else. I tell my buddy: "Hey, I'm not interested in her anymore, you can have her." My buddy thinks Katie Girl is available and will automatically jump right in and date him. Should Katie Girl be insulted? Link to post Share on other sites
Author truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Well, whether you "should be" insulted or not, you are, so there you go. I doubt you'd be so insulted if you found this woman attractive. Nope. I still would be insulted. It's like one girl thinks, "eh, you can have him" and I'm supposed to jump at the opportunity. F that. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 The scenario I described is accurate. I never found the friend to be attractive. I do find it insulting the friend thinks I will go for her. Am I some kind of toy? Lets reverse using me and Katie Girl as an example. I have interest in her and she has interest in me. I change my mind and date someone else. I tell my buddy: "Hey, I'm not interested in her anymore, you can have her." My buddy thinks Katie Girl is available and will automatically jump right in and date him. Should Katie Girl be insulted? This particular part of the scenario does seem presumptuous on the part of the two women, that you'd just jump at the chance to date the friend. Still, I don't know if I'd go so far as to be insulted by it. Save your energy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 This particular part of the scenario does seem presumptuous on the part of the two women, that you'd just jump at the chance to date the friend. Still, I don't know if I'd go so far as to be insulted by it. Save your energy. That's what I'm talking about. This idea I'll jump at the chance. Maybe it's immaturity on their part. I am insulted how someone can think I can be passed off to someone else... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Don't find her attractive. Ah the reason this thread exists. 13 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 That's what I'm talking about. This idea I'll jump at the chance. Maybe it's immaturity on their part. I am insulted how someone can think I can be passed off to someone else... I know, I get it. Still, I'm assuming these are not people who you've invested a lot of time or energy on, so don't let their immaturity ruin your day. I don't say that to minimize your feelings over it, I just don't if, in the grand scheme of things, this is something to get your hackles up over. Don't sweat it, man. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Ah the reason this thread exists. Not true. Even if I did find her attractive, wouldn't sit well with me. You're telling me if you liked a guy, and he passed you off to his friend, you would jump at the chance to date his friend? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Here's a scenario: girl is interested in me, I am interested in her. She "changes" her mind, dates someone else. Her friend now is interested and thinks we should date. Yep, things can change at any time, for any reason or no reason at all. If you're interested or find her attractive, go out on a date. If not, don't. I find this to be insulting. The arrogance of this friend to assume I will throw myself at her. Are people today on crack 24/7? I liked the other girl, didn't happen... so I'm just suppose to get with her friend? People are individuals. Friends aren't single-minded, rather unique beings who happen to share some interests and enjoy each others company. They express their attraction individually. Sounds like you must be a pretty attractive guy, with two different ladies apparently expressing attraction in such a brief period. Go with it. Or, like the first lady did, date someone else. It's a choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Don't find her attractive. So if she was gorgeous, this wouldn't be an issue for you? Is it more insulting that her unattractive friend thought you might have liked her? Do you know her? What about her personality? Is she a loyal woman who won't lead you on or knows you like her, throws a few crumbs at you to feed your hopes then switch up in mid-stream and dash your hopes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 I know, I get it. Still, I'm assuming these are not people who you've invested a lot of time or energy on, so don't let their immaturity ruin your day. I don't say that to minimize your feelings over it, I just don't if, in the grand scheme of things, this is something to get your hackles up over. Don't sweat it, man. I hear you, just got under my skin. It's sh-t like this that makes me wonder if I'll ever meet the one. People today are together one minute, with someone else the next, back to the ex, onto someone else... I wish I grew up in the 50s, 60s... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Not true. Even if I did find her attractive, wouldn't sit well with me. You're telling me if you liked a guy, and he passed you off to his friend, you would jump at the chance to date his friend? If he was hot, nice and I secretly wished I had met him first? Hell yeah! Reckon men are only upset when the chick isn't pretty enough. External validation 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Well, you can spend your energy being insulted and lonely if you want to. Girl's friend thought you were cute and she gave it a shot when she found out her friend was no longer interested in you. Happens all the time--it's happened to me. I got over it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Sooo what you're saying is that the rejection hurt your ego. What hurt it even more is that an unattractive girl had the audacity to think that you'd be interested in dating her, right after you were rejected by that other girl who actually was attractive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 So if she was gorgeous, this wouldn't be an issue for you? Is it more insulting that her unattractive friend thought you might have liked her? Do you know her? What about her personality? Is she a loyal woman who won't lead you on or knows you like her, throws a few crumbs at you to feed your hopes then switch up in mid-stream and dash your hopes? The friend is attractive but I don't find her attractive. It's a combination of disappointment (I was very attracted to the other woman and she lost interest) and feeling insulted that I can be passed off to this friend. Just think if you liked a guy, he liked you but chose another woman and told his friend you can have her, and the friend expected you to be available and like him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author truth_seeker Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 If he was hot, nice and I secretly wished I had met him first? Hell yeah! Reckon men are only upset when the chick isn't pretty enough. External validation Even if she was "hot" I would still be upset. No one finds it insulting to be "passed off" to a friend? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I hear you, just got under my skin. It's sh-t like this that makes me wonder if I'll ever meet the one. People today are together one minute, with someone else the next, back to the ex, onto someone else... I wish I grew up in the 50s, 60s... I think this is maybe the driving force of your reaction. Which, I totally understand, too, but just be careful not to let things like what happened make you cynical and closed off. I feel like that'll just make it harder to be open to the right woman/en in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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