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I only end up with crazies. Wtf lol


Mjm1014

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I'm not sure why, but all my friends, family members always point out that I go for the wrong women. I've done some major reflecting and literally every girl (I've had 5 gf's) all turned out to be complete psychos, yet they seem normal in the beginning.

 

Girl #

1. Slept around with 13 guys while dating me. I ended it. She got pregnant by some random dude.

2. Always got mad at me over random things, one night she cheated and got pregnant. The end.

3. Started doing major drugs mid relationship, I ended it immediately

4. Was in a coma precious to our relationship. Just messed up in the head. Always accused me of cheating on her when I wasn't even talking to any other girls-I ended it

5. Wasn't serious, never made time, talked to multiple guy "friends"..I got annoyed and cut her off and she dated one her "friends" the very next day.

 

Now the girl I was pursuing told me tonight she's still living with her ex and deleted me from facebook and snap chat then called crying that she is just PMSing and doesn't feel adequate for me. Tells me she's falling for me blah blah but I can tell she loves drama.

 

I literally feel like an idiot because I've had so many girlfriends at 28..I can't seem to ever attract a decent girl that's genuine. All them cheat or end up having major issues but seem normal at the beginning. Granted, I met most of them online since I'm in a male dominated field but seriously idk how to ever weed out girls like this. Anyone else have issues like this hahahaaha. Sorry it's almost comical. Vent post, drinking, sorry...cheers

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There is very little quality but a whole lot of quantity (crap) on line. Go out irl and meet singles in person. Go to an event, or a charity dance, festival, join a group, play a co-ed sports team, do something that is positive, fun. When you participate in positive things, you will meet positive, happy, people that have their s hit together.

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There is very little quality but a whole lot of quantity (crap) on line. Go out irl and meet singles in person. Go to an event, or a charity dance, festival, join a group, play a co-ed sports team, do something that is positive, fun. When you participate in positive things, you will meet positive, happy, people that have their s hit together.

 

No you can still meet plenty of crazies

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Yep, has happened to me. Sadly, there is no way to weed them out without wasting your time because they hide who they really are for a few months. Then when they get comfortable you get a look at who they were hiding.

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I wonder this myself, not so much on the crazy front, but just on the wrong girl front every time. I have too done some digging into my inner self and found that I may just have fear of a serious relationship. It is true I have pushed away girls that have wanted me and would've been good for me, whereas if they're distant, some issues, not sure, hard work, then I'll jump in feet first. It's almost like I not only enjoy the thrill of the hunt but also how long it lasts. It's messed up and often I see myself doing it but I find it hard to walk away. Maybe it too is something you do that makes you go for these girls or bring them in. In much the same way, it's like when you see a girl going for the bad boy, friend zoning the good guy, then always complaining there's never any good men out there. I guess both sexes have their issues... :(

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Yep, has happened to me. Sadly, there is no way to weed them out without wasting your time because they hide who they really are for a few months. Then when they get comfortable you get a look at who they were hiding.

 

There are signs...

 

The same with the crazy guys out there... There are signs...

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Same here Brotha, well not as crazy as yours maybe but still crazy.

 

You gotta change it up and do better job screening out the bad ones (as do I). Like you say, its all fun and games in the beginning but you cant polish a turd - it all comes out sooner or later.

 

Take what you have learned, make a list or something, n at the first sign of crazy get the F out. Maybe not introduce them to your friends and family for a while either...

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There are signs...

 

The same with the crazy guys out there... There are signs...

 

This ^^^^

 

What happens is that we tend to ignore those signs because we don't want them to be there.... :(

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No you can still meet plenty of crazies

Oh and don't be so negative....a negative attitude attracts the wrong people.

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I'm curious to know the criteria you use to pick girlfriends.

 

And "pyscho?" I hate that term as it pertains to women, it's lazy and clinically inaccurate. Maybe you're the pyscho one, picking the same bad girlfriend over and over again. I'm with Katie, time for some self-reflection.

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From like 2011-2014, I went through some craziness. Between OLD and IRL I met some real nasty women. These women were low class, liars, some even sluts. Looking back, I have to take some blame for putting myself in their paths. I was all about meeting someone and hoping they were the one. I was over looking the real them and dreaming they would be what I wanted and needed in my life. Guess you could say I was la la land.. well, I finally snapped out it and am now grateful I experienced all of this. Now my head is on straight and I know the warnings signs and can bail fast from women like them.

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Your picker is off and you have trouble feeling peoples vibes. I guess not everyone is as perceptive.

 

Tip: insecure people try way too hard to please, agree with everything you say, act like the best GF/BF, are overly accommodating, are fake friendly with others, pretty much put on a performance.

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We are who we don't turn away...

 

Do what smackie suggests ...or go to church ... If you're 28 and live in a decent sized city, you'll meet girls. Is there a 20/30 club in your area? A running group? You must be decent looking to get as many dates in the OLD scene so you'll do fine in RL ... Seems you're using OLD as a crutch ... Sure it's easier to meet girls but the quality ... Yikes

 

Ya know back in the day when there was no internet ... We actually found people to date just going roller blading. How about a triathlon club? At your age, I wasn't single for more than a few weeks and back in another relationship ... I wasn't ever one of the crazies either. You seem to be at a point where you are realizing your own pattern. I think you'd be willing to accept a girl now if she isn't the hard to get one but instead the normal healthy one. With the internet social media thing, I agree this has negatively affected relations ...moreso for your age group but there are still lots of girls with good values out there. Good luck :)

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Just to give you a start - things that make me run for the hills with out looking back

 

1. Talks about themselves constantly with no break or interest in you

2. No real hobbies or social life

3. Not working or training

4. Any slight bitterness or anger towards exes or the opposite gender

5. Over use of the word "nice" (trust me on that one...)

6. Any moaning wingeing whineing about things they can change

7. Any nasty comments about their family (if they are pissing them off fine but if they go on about what a holes their family are - no)

8. Any signs of money struggles that are not your average Joes.

9. Any signs of over spending or being irresponsible (including if they are gifts for me)

10. Any behaviour that suggests that they can't or won't look after themselves.

 

I know its harsh but... it does actually help.

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Just to give you a start - things that make me run for the hills with out looking back

 

1. Talks about themselves constantly with no break or interest in you

2. No real hobbies or social life

3. Not working or training

4. Any slight bitterness or anger towards exes or the opposite gender

5. Over use of the word "nice" (trust me on that one...)

6. Any moaning wingeing whineing about things they can change

7. Any nasty comments about their family (if they are pissing them off fine but if they go on about what a holes their family are - no)

8. Any signs of money struggles that are not your average Joes.

9. Any signs of over spending or being irresponsible (including if they are gifts for me)

10. Any behaviour that suggests that they can't or won't look after themselves.

 

I know its harsh but... it does actually help.

 

Can you elaborate on No. 5?

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Your picker is off and you have trouble feeling peoples vibes. I guess not everyone is as perceptive.

 

Tip: insecure people try way too hard to please, agree with everything you say, act like the best GF/BF, are overly accommodating, are fake friendly with others, pretty much put on a performance.

 

Smackie can I just ask.

 

What about those who are just basically kind and generous people and its part of their nature rather than an "effort"?

 

I often worry that people take me as insecure or people pleasing because I don't sweat the small stuff and get into petty arguments. I let most stuff float over my head because its not important. Am I really going to remember that on the 6th October 1986 he left the loo seat up? No - I am not.

 

Truth is I am far from insecure. I know what I want. I say what I want and if I don't get it I go out and get it for myself.

 

Every (I really do mean every) ex has always said I deserve better and it really piddles me off if I am honest...

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Ya know back in the day when there was no internet ... We actually found people to date just going roller blading. How about a triathlon club? At your age, I wasn't single for more than a few weeks and back in another relationship ... I wasn't ever one of the crazies either. You seem to be at a point where you are realizing your own pattern. I think you'd be willing to accept a girl now if she isn't the hard to get one but instead the normal healthy one. With the internet social media thing, I agree this has negatively affected relations ...moreso for your age group but there are still lots of girls with good values out there. Good luck :)

 

That's the problem today - everything is geared towards easy hook ups just by using your phone. I can go on Tinder and see 50 profiles within a minute. I can say yes to 10, maybe 2-3 match, we talk same day we match, maybe hook up in the next day or so... or never speak to each other again.

 

I think if they could do a study, you would find people who are in relationships, married for decades met the old fashion way: IRL at some local community center, club, dance... the people who meet on OLD don't have that strong of a track record.

 

It's like bodybuilding: the basics always work because they're the foundation. You do all of this new age exercising and can get quick results, but the basic bench, pull up and running outdoors will always give you long lasting results.

 

IMO OLD is a quick fix option for the lazy and greedy... IRL is the way to build on something as you can meet the traditional way of one-on-one interaction.

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Can you elaborate on No. 5?

 

Nice is a non word.

 

Its a word people use when its alright, nothing spectacular but equally just as disposable as worthy of keeping. Its a word that means absolutely nothing.

 

People who use the word nice a lot tend to be indecisive and flakey with out knowing it. They are not terribly imaginative and not overly sure of what they want...

 

The odd one or two is OK. But if someone uses the word nice quite a bit I run away.

 

Just my view but it seems to have held me in good stead so far.

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Nice is a non word.

 

Its a word people use when its alright, nothing spectacular but equally just as disposable as worthy of keeping. Its a word that means absolutely nothing.

 

People who use the word nice a lot tend to be indecisive and flakey with out knowing it. They are not terribly imaginative and not overly sure of what they want...

 

The odd one or two is OK. But if someone uses the word nice quite a bit I run away.

 

Just my view but it seems to have held me in good stead so far.

 

Hmmm.. still do not quite follow. Can you give an example? I don't want to meet some woman and hear her use the word "nice" and start going crazy. :laugh:

 

I know when a woman says "fine" she's not happy. :D

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Hmmm.. still do not quite follow. Can you give an example? I don't want to meet some woman and hear her use the word "nice" and start going crazy. :laugh:

 

I know when a woman says "fine" she's not happy. :D

 

You are learning!

 

"Fine" is another. If someone says that a lot that is a no go...

 

Because one day they are going to finish bottling it up and blow in your face...

 

Think in terms of the phrase "that's nice"... "nice try"... not at all positive are they and its something you hear from a negative type person who can't see the joy or good in what is around them...

 

Nice is as Fine is... Both bad when used a great deal... Avoid...

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You are learning!

 

"Fine" is another. If someone says that a lot that is a no go...

 

Because one day they are going to finish bottling it up and blow in your face...

 

Think in terms of the phrase "that's nice"... "nice try"... not at all positive are they and its something you hear from a negative type person who can't see the joy or good in what is around them...

 

Nice is as Fine is... Both bad when used a great deal... Avoid...

 

Ahhh... now I see.

 

So from now on no more "Mr. Nice Guy" :D

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