yxalitis Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Anyone who gives ANY credit to a partner because "The did something special for me on Valentine's day" needs to reexamine the nature of romance, generosity, and thoughtfulness. If I give my girlfriend a gift, it's because I thought of her, or saw something I thought she'd like. If I take her out for dinner, it's because I want to share that with her. If I give her flowers it's because I was thinking of her. If do ANY of these things because "It's Valentine's day" I am simply following the herd mentality, a day created to sell flowers, cards, and chocolates. There is NOTHING "special" about a day decreed by commercial interests to be a day you do something nice for your partner... "Oh, he is so romantic! He bought me flowers and took me to dinner on a day when the entire world set this expectation on him" It's a meaningless, hollow, shallow event. If you need to be told WHEN to think about your partner....you aren't! Discuss... 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Cappycorny Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Anyone who gives ANY credit to a partner because "The did something special for me on Valentine's day" needs to reexamine the nature of romance, generosity, and thoughtfulness. If I give my girlfriend a gift, it's because I thought of her, or saw something I thought she'd like. If I take her out for dinner, it's because I want to share that with her. If I give her flowers it's because I was thinking of her. If do ANY of these things because "It's Valentine's day" I am simply following the herd mentality, a day created to sell flowers, cards, and chocolates. There is NOTHING "special" about a day decreed by commercial interests to be a day you do something nice for your partner... "Oh, he is so romantic! He bought me flowers and took me to dinner on a day when the entire world set this expectation on him" It's a meaningless, hollow, shallow event. If you need to be told WHEN to think about your partner....you aren't! Discuss... I totally agree. Totally 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 My boyfriend buys me flowers at least once a month. He writes me sweet notes, texts and emails to let me know he's thinking of me. He slow-dances with me in the living room for no reason at all. He is the most romantic person I've ever met, and I still think Valentine's Day is special. Valentine's Day meets the definition of a holiday: a special day for celebrating (if you want). Every holiday since the beginning of time has been about celebrating some sort of big idea---romance, fortune, ancestry, the gods, commemorating a great battle, the fall harvest, whatever. And every holiday has ultimately come down to two things: something for common people to get excited about, and something that makes money. To act like this is somehow new or uniquely unfortunate is just ridiculous. There is NOTHING "special" about a day decreed by commercial interests to be a day you do something nice for your partner... It is exactly as special as you want or don't want it to be. My mom makes the most amazing cornbread stuffing every year for Thanksgiving. She could make it tomorrow, but it wouldn't be quite as special because it's not Thanksgiving. Humans are sentimental creatures and we value the traditions we create. "Oh, he is so romantic! He bought me flowers and took me to dinner on a day when the entire world set this expectation on him" It's less about the ritual and more about the chance to exercise your romantic side. As I said above, if my boyfriend stubbornly skipped Valentine's Day he'd still be more romantic than most people on the planet. But Valentine's Day is special because he goes out of his way to find new and unusual ways to be romantic and show me he cares. I try to do the same, too. I don't think anybody thinks "oh, he's so romantic!" in the context you described above. I think it's probably closer to "oh, he took this opportunity to do something thoughtful for me. That's really nice." It's the same way sending cards for Mother's Day or Father's Day is nice. It's a meaningless, hollow, shallow event. I am sure there were people thousands of years ago who felt the same way about buying leather strips on Lupercalia. There are community (or "herd", as you put it) priorities just as there are individual priorities. You are free to agree or disagree with the things others find important, but you can't expect others to adopt your views either. If you need to be told WHEN to think about your partner....you aren't! Valentine's Day doesn't exist to tell people to think about their partners. It exists to sell chocolate and flowers, like you said. It also exists as an opportunity to think about romance in general. It can suck if you're single, but it gets everyone thinking and talking about love the same way Christmas gets people thinking and talking about family. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Holidays remind us of the things we value as a culture. PS: don't go out to dinner, folks. Valentine's Day and NYE are the absolute worst days to go to restaurants! The volume is so high, the menus are typically limited and the kitchen quality nose-dives by about sixty percent even in fine dining establishments. Cook for your lady/fella and open a nice bottle of wine at home. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 It can suck if you're single, I totally disagree! I'm so glad I am single on VD so I don't have to partake in all that commercial nonsense. Overpriced crowded restaurants, flowers selling for 5x the normal price - yeah, no thank you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 It's a meaningless, hollow, shallow event. If you need to be told WHEN to think about your partner....you aren't! Discuss... I totally agree. The marketeers and sales psychologists will probably come up with Albatross Day next, the day when you have to buy cheese for your cable guy. Love the people you love every day, or give up using the word! Lol. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 April 4th is World Rat Day. I say we all make a special effort to those little critters who live side by side with us. But them something special, maybe take one into work with you. I plan to create a line of rat based gifts for the occasion. Anyone not getting into the spirit of the thing is just a sad loser, so make sure you take part. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I agree ....i think valentines day is a way for others to make money.....every day should be valentines day and i dont mean gifts or cards...i mean in appreciating your partner....i was under the belief that valentines was meant to be about uniting an unknown lover or love with the object of his/her affection and desire....so i looked it up...quite interesting to read...... History of Valentine?s Day - Valentine?s Day - HISTORY.com this is killer Approximately 150 million Valentine's Day cards are exchanged annually, making Valentine's Day the second most popular card-sending holiday after Christmas. if everyone donated half of the money they used to buy valentines day cards........it would feed a lot of puppy eyed starving children aroudn the world...would make their year probably not just their day....far more loving an enterprise than lining haLLmarks pockets.....for the cost of valentines flowers alone which they hike the price up just before...sucks the romance right out of me ...but each to his own and who am i to judge whats right.....when i am in a relationship i like to buy little gifts of treats anytime......i feel like showing love......any day ...any hour......and I know love is precious...i dont need a hallmark card to let me know that or let my lover know i care....he will know every day.....and if i had a secret love...which i have...and still do....he would know without having valentines day roll around for me to let him know........deb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I completely agree. Though I refrain from judging those who enjoy it. If both people in a couple get into it, then good for them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I hate valentines day because depression of love snd affection is forced and required thus losing it meaning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 It's a meaningless, hollow, shallow event. If you need to be told WHEN to think about your partner....you aren't! Discuss... I don't disagree with you. You should appreciate your So every day but if taking a anti-valentine's day stand hurts your partner's feelings you really need to prioritize. Treat like the Hallmark holiday it is. Give goofiness . . . not seriousness but use it as a reason to smile not be angry. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GR4 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Couldn't agree more. Problem is most people expect to be taken out for dinner, get the flowers, the chocolates on Valentine's Day and if you don't do that you're opening up a can of worms. As a single guy it can be annoying to see everyone so loved up and rubbing it in your face but as someone above said I'm so glad I don't have to part with my cash and take part in all the nonsense. As all my friends are shacked up I'll be spending it alone and treat myself to a few beers! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 April 4th is World Rat Day. I say we all make a special effort to those little critters who live side by side with us. But them something special, maybe take one into work with you. I plan to create a line of rat based gifts for the occasion. Anyone not getting into the spirit of the thing is just a sad loser, so make sure you take part. I already gave. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Unless your partner feels the same way as you do, they'll expect you to do sth special on V-Day. That's the reason to do it. Who cares about anything else? If you stubbornly refuse on principle then you're telling them that your 'principle' matters more than making them happy. And if you try to debate them on why they shouldn't want anything due to consumer-blah-blah-blah then you're telling them that the debate itself and jerking it to your own quasi-superior intellect is also more important than making them happy. Both arguments are losers and you're winning absolutely zero battles fighting them. Just buy a damn card and some roses and chocolates, get over yourself, and move on. (**Said as lovingly as possible. And I don't even really give a damn about V-Day, but you can bet your ass I've got cards and flowers going out in all directions.) 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 It doesn't matter what YOU think about Valentine's day, it matter what SHE thinks. If SHE thinks it's a special day for lovers then put your little rant aside and please her because V Day is not about you but about your partner. Also, a lot of couples, especially those with children, do not have time or the budget to go to restaurants each time they feel like it. VD is a day that gives them the opportunity to plan and stop their heavy routine for a day and make it special. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 It doesn't matter what YOU think about Valentine's day, it matter what SHE thinks. If SHE thinks it's a special day for lovers then put your little rant aside and please her because V Day is not about you but about your partner. Also, a lot of couples, especially those with children, do not have time or the budget to go to restaurants each time they feel like it. VD is a day that gives them the opportunity to plan and stop their heavy routine for a day and make it special. Gaeta, I love you. Even on Valentine's Day. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Giving people gifts on Valentine's Day is stupid, except if I were to be given that new parachute I've been lusting after. Or a Leica Monochrome. Or a nice old Italian scooter in perfect condition. Or a really fast 15 foot racing dinghy. Apart from those very sensible gifts, Valentine's Day is stupid. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 What's with the strong hate towards V-day OP? Can I have a wild guess your young GF is having V-day with her actual BF or something? Some people like giving and receiving gifts on special dates what's your problem? Maybe you don't think its special but who cares? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 It's just another money making day created by a certain group. The same group who created all of the money making days to capitalise off of it in the western world. It's a pretty sexist day as well I gotta say. There isn't an equivalent day to make men feel special from their partner. The feminists conveniently forgot about equality there as well. I'd imagine a day dedicated to women buying presents for their men with a whole week of advertisements on TV advertising power tools, car parts, sports memorabilia, etc for women to buy their partners wouldn't go down too well with the agenda this certain group is trying to push Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 The oldest known valentine was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. Who said modern day commercial creation? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Anyone who gives ANY credit to a partner because "The did something special for me on Valentine's day" needs to reexamine the nature of romance, generosity, and thoughtfulness. If I give my girlfriend a gift, it's because I thought of her, or saw something I thought she'd like. If I take her out for dinner, it's because I want to share that with her. If I give her flowers it's because I was thinking of her. If do ANY of these things because "It's Valentine's day" I am simply following the herd mentality, a day created to sell flowers, cards, and chocolates. There is NOTHING "special" about a day decreed by commercial interests to be a day you do something nice for your partner... "Oh, he is so romantic! He bought me flowers and took me to dinner on a day when the entire world set this expectation on him" It's a meaningless, hollow, shallow event. If you need to be told WHEN to think about your partner....you aren't! Discuss... This is why I'll be going out to a movie this weekend. No different than any other weekend for me. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 You do realize that if any woman ever read the underline meaning of this post that they would all hate you for this, don't you? That is, you are saying that men would not do anything even slightly thoughtful for women unless there was a possibility that they would get sex out of it, right? Well, you are not wrong, that I do not argue. What you (and everyone else) are angry about is the fact that we are a slave to capitalism. The ads tell us that we are to buy things for each other in order to show others that you care for them or that they matter enough to you. The advertising industry is telling us this because they are trying to make money off a holiday, and we are to follow it otherwise the others think we are weird and some do not want to be seen as weird. And guess what? We are not supposed to eat sweets either. We have been conditioned by the food industry to want to eat sweets. Primitive man did not have frosting and cookies, and primitive man did not have advertising telling him he had to eat frosting and cookies. Love is free. It will not cost you anything to tell someone "I love you". It also won't cost you anything to say "I hate you" either. Telling someone you care for them is not supposed to have a price tag, but we think it does. And sex is also free. Wanting to love someone or wanting to have sex with someone does not cost you ANYTHING. Don't listen to the advertising, listen to you and others around you. If someone equates your buying them diamonds and roses over you, that tells you something. If they don't, it does as well. Facts. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Anyone who gives ANY credit to a partner because "The did something special for me on Valentine's day" needs to reexamine the nature of romance, generosity, and thoughtfulness. If I give my girlfriend a gift, it's because I thought of her, or saw something I thought she'd like. If I take her out for dinner, it's because I want to share that with her. If I give her flowers it's because I was thinking of her. If do ANY of these things because "It's Valentine's day" I am simply following the herd mentality, a day created to sell flowers, cards, and chocolates. There is NOTHING "special" about a day decreed by commercial interests to be a day you do something nice for your partner... "Oh, he is so romantic! He bought me flowers and took me to dinner on a day when the entire world set this expectation on him" It's a meaningless, hollow, shallow event. If you need to be told WHEN to think about your partner....you aren't! Discuss... Every time I hear a rant like this I think you just don't want to spend the money. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 I work in a museum and I was recently doing some interpretation on a Victorian greetings card.I read about the inventiveness of creating new holidays purely for the purpose of producing greetings cards. Anyway I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day either. I don't like the fuss. I'd rather a man treat me because he loves me and wants to make me feel special. I also don't like the pressure on the man to have to come up with something. I'd be quite happy with a day out and some time in the man's company. But then no one has ever given me roses before so maybe I would like it? hehe 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 You do realize that if any woman ever read the underline meaning of this post that they would all hate you for this, don't you? That is, you are saying that men would not do anything even slightly thoughtful for women unless there was a possibility that they would get sex out of it, right? Well, you are not wrong, that I do not argue. What you (and everyone else) are angry about is the fact that we are a slave to capitalism. The ads tell us that we are to buy things for each other in order to show others that you care for them or that they matter enough to you. The advertising industry is telling us this because they are trying to make money off a holiday, and we are to follow it otherwise the others think we are weird and some do not want to be seen as weird. And guess what? We are not supposed to eat sweets either. We have been conditioned by the food industry to want to eat sweets. Primitive man did not have frosting and cookies, and primitive man did not have advertising telling him he had to eat frosting and cookies. Love is free. It will not cost you anything to tell someone "I love you". It also won't cost you anything to say "I hate you" either. Telling someone you care for them is not supposed to have a price tag, but we think it does. And sex is also free. Wanting to love someone or wanting to have sex with someone does not cost you ANYTHING. Don't listen to the advertising, listen to you and others around you. If someone equates your buying them diamonds and roses over you, that tells you something. If they don't, it does as well. Facts. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???? This has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with sex!!! Where on EARTH did you get that idea...?? Jesus H Christ on a stick!! This is about the COMMERCIALIZATION of love for PROFIT!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 Every time I hear a rant like this I think you just don't want to spend the money. Lordy...that's pathetic... I'll spend the money on ANY OTHER DAY OF THE YEAR!! When I WANT TO, when I FEEL it's the right time...NOT when some institution TELLS ME TOO! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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