Men who ask YOU take down THEIR number

[90s kid]

I get approached by men from time to time. And more and more guys are asking me to take down their number rather than asking me for mine. Has anyone else experienced this? Can someone explain why men do this?

 

Something about it bothers me. YOU came up to ME. I don’t even know if I like you yet and you expect me to take your number down and contact you? It just seems lazy.

 

This happened to me again today. A guy approached me while I was walking through the neighborhood. We talked for a few minutes until I had to hop on my shuttle. He said he’d like to take me out to eat and told me to take down his number. I said, “You want me to take down your number? Don’t you have a phone?” He said yes and then didn’t move an inch to reach into his backpack and grab it. Instead,he wanted me to take down his number and then text him later. I put his number in my phone but I have no intention of using it.

 

This has happened to me quite a few times. The one time I actually decided to go ahead and text a guy who asked me take down his number, he never followed through by asking me out. We texted back and forth a few times and it went nowhere. Ever since then, I’ve felt like the guys that do this just want to feel like a girl is reaching out to him. Maybe it boosts his ego. My other theory is that it’s easier for them to offer their number than to ask for mine.

 

What do you guys think? Am I making too much of this?

Edited February 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
added proper word spacing and removed code

[Qboro90]

They ask you for your number because they've probably experienced countless times where the girl gives them their number and its either a fake number or they just never reply once he follows up because they just wanted to be nice and get going so that's the quickest way to do so.

 

It's also typical for a guy to give the girl his number so that she knows who he is and will remember for when he texts later. How many times have people gotten a text from someone they gave they number to apparently during a night out and have NO idea who the person is or remember why/when/how they got your number? That's such an awkward way to start a convo when you need to explain who you are to someone you thought was into you at least a little bit since they gave you their number.

 

Giving the girl your number also makes it less of a risk for some guys. If the girl texts them later on, they know that she is at least a little interested and he can feel more confident asking her out. Where as if she gave him her number and he reaches out later, he might feel insecure and think she's just being polite and doing it because she has nothing else to do.

 

I can't explain why a guy would approach you and give you his number, then not reply or ask you out when you text him. That was probably just a unique example and not the norm so I wouldn't judge based on that.

 

The best way to exchange in my experience is to either take down the girls number and text her while you're there talking with your name in the first text so that they know and won't forget later on. It also makes it impossible to give a fake number if you test it out right there.

 

Also, I think if any of these guys really blew you away, you wouldn't be so off put by it. Like if a gorgeous guy started talking to you and flirting and you had such a great connection, and then he had you take down his number, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have a problem reaching out. I may be wrong tho, who knows.

 

If I were you the next time a guy asks you to take down his number, just put the ball back in his court and say "who said I wanted it?" Or "just take down mine and text me then I'll store it". Pretty simple.

[Arieswoman]

Don't take it, let them do the heavy lifting.

 

 

And don't give it out to someone that you haven't had a chance to evaluate, even briefly.

 

 

Just my 6 penneth.

[Jabron1]

This happened to me again today. A guy approached me while I was walking through the neighborhood. We talked for a few minutes until I had to hop on my shuttle. He said he’d like to take me out to eat and told me to take down his number. I said, “You want me to take down your number? Don’t you have a phone?” He said yes and then didn’t move an inch to reach into his backpack and grab it. Instead,he wanted me to take down his number and then text him later. I put his number in my phone but I have no intention of using it.

 

He's testing your level of interest. And, it's worked, because you've filtered yourself out.

 

He's obviously the sort of guy who gets a lot of numbers, if he has the balls to cold approach like that. Why invest in multiple lukewarm leads, when the red-hot ones will reveal themselves?

[AMJ]

This has happened to me before. I can't help but start laughing. It's the weakest approach! I'll never respect a man who does this.

[Jabron1]

This has happened to me before. I can't help but start laughing. It's the weakest approach! I'll never respect a man who does this.

 

I don't like it either; it's handing over the initiative. But, based on this guy's approach, I would guess it's just his method.

[Ami1uwant]

Coming from a guys perspective......

 

It's about respecting the woman snd her privacy just like fir a first date it's understood you don't ask about going to pick her up from her house.

 

The phone number is the same thing, I give it yo you if you want yo wLk thorn text/call me.

[Httm]

Don't take it, let them do the heavy lifting.

 

 

And don't give it out to someone that you haven't had a chance to evaluate, even briefly.

 

 

Just my 6 penneth.

 

The heavy lifting, just like being the one to approach her to begin with? Some girls have it on a silver platter and they Still complain. Unbelievable! Talk about overinflated egos. You *gasp* actually have to write someone's number down when You don't even know if you like them yet! What a tough burden that must be...

 

Please don't descrihe yourselves as down to earth. You are nowhere near.

[Jabron1]

Coming from a guys perspective......

 

It's about respecting the woman snd her privacy just like fir a first date it's understood you don't ask about going to pick her up from her house.

 

The phone number is the same thing, I give it yo you if you want yo wLk thorn text/call me.

 

I doubt it in this case. There's an art to the daytime cold-approach. That's why i'm thinking this guy knows what he's doing - he even kept his bottle when she wanted him to get his phone out. Most guys would have stumbled over that.

[amaysngrace]

Some guy gave me his website before but I forgot to ever check it out so when I ran into him a few months later he got my number and called me right away.

 

I guess forgetting to visit that website made him think I was hard to get.

[AMJ]

The heavy lifting, just like being the one to approach her to begin with? Some girls have it on a silver platter and they Still complain. Unbelievable! Talk about overinflated egos. You *gasp* actually have to write someone's number down when You don't even know if you like them yet! What a tough burden that must be...

 

Please don't descrihe yourselves as down to earth. You are nowhere near.

 

Well, it's not like we're asking you to approach to begin with. What the hell do we owe you? I'm obligated to write down your number, just because you decided to walk up and talk to me?

 

Once a guy walked up and said, "I just walked all the way across this bar to talk to you right now." I had absolutely no desire to talk to him. I said, "That's nice. You can walk right back over to where you came from."

 

There are much better ways to figure out if a woman wants to talk to you. Asking us to call you is a complete bitch move. You're supposed to be nice to us, charm us, get to know us, or do something that makes us want to give you our numbers, so you can call us.

[smackie9]

Next time make a point of it.....tell them it turns you off. Speak up!

 

Taking their number down with no intention of using it is just as flaky btw. Would it kill ya to just say no?

[Maggie4]

I like this approach. This way I don't have to say, "I am sorry, I don't want to give you my number". Yeah I can say it. But the guy is trying to not put you on the spot. If you're not interested, then just don't call, no awkwardness. If you are interested, then you say, "thank you, and here is my number". He was not expecting you to call, he was hoping you'd reciprocate.

 

It's like when introducing yourself. Instead of starting out with "what is your name?" It is more polite to say, "Hello, My name is ..." Then the other person also says his/her name too (or not).

[90s kid]

The heavy lifting, just like being the one to approach her to begin with? Some girls have it on a silver platter and they Still complain. Unbelievable! Talk about overinflated egos. You *gasp* actually have to write someone's number down when You don't even know if you like them yet! What a tough burden that must be...

 

Please don't descrihe yourselves as down to earth. You are nowhere near.

 

It's not that it's some huge burden to take out my phone and put in his number. You're missing the point.

It felt like a cop out. He put the ball in my court to make it easier on himself. When he asked me for my number, I even said "what about your phone?" I gave him an opportunity to take my number down, put he didn't want it. He wanted me to call him.

[90s kid]

Next time make a point of it.....tell them it turns you off. Speak up!

 

Taking their number down with no intention of using it is just as flaky btw. Would it kill ya to just say no?

 

 

 

You're right, I need to be better about this. Sometimes it's hard when a guy catches me off guard.

[Arieswoman]

Httm8,

 

 

"The heavy lifting, just like being the one to approach her to begin with? Some girls have it on a silver platter and they Still complain. Unbelievable! Talk about overinflated egos. You *gasp* actually have to write someone's number down when You don't even know if you like them yet! What a tough burden that must be...

 

Please don't descrihe yourselves as down to earth. You are nowhere near."

 

 

^^^

this is your opinion which of course you are entitled to have.

 

 

IMO any female who takes a 'phone number from some random guy in the street is asking for trouble .

There are an awful lot of sociopaths and wackos out there.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I get approached by men from time to time. And more and more guys are asking me to take down their number rather than asking me for mine. Has anyone else experienced this? Can someone explain why men do this?

 

Something about it bothers me. YOU came up to ME. I don’t even know if I like you yet and you expect me to take your number down and contact you? It just seems lazy.

 

This happened to me again today. A guy approached me while I was walking through the neighborhood. We talked for a few minutes until I had to hop on my shuttle. He said he’d like to take me out to eat and told me to take down his number. I said, “You want me to take down your number? Don’t you have a phone?” He said yes and then didn’t move an inch to reach into his backpack and grab it. Instead,he wanted me to take down his number and then text him later. I put his number in my phone but I have no intention of using it.

 

This has happened to me quite a few times. The one time I actually decided to go ahead and text a guy who asked me take down his number, he never followed through by asking me out. We texted back and forth a few times and it went nowhere. Ever since then, I’ve felt like the guys that do this just want to feel like a girl is reaching out to him. Maybe it boosts his ego. My other theory is that it’s easier for them to offer their number than to ask for mine.

 

What do you guys think? Am I making too much of this?

 

These dudes probably read something on a pick up artists site. I had a guy try to give me dating advice on doing th.is. I thought it was quite tasteless and lame.

[Zippy2000]

Absolute noting worng with a guy to give you his number.

 

All the girls I dated texted or called me back.

 

Its good becuase:

 

No pressure on the girl to say no

Gives the time decide if she wants to go for it or not

 

Nothing wrong with it at all. If a girl gave me her number/ Yes please lol

[ManyDissapoint]

What is wrong with this scenario is that there was no discussion leading up to it. I will give a girl my number after I establish a connection and see if she calls to demonstrate interest.

 

My interest was already demonstrated when I approached and then when I decided to give her my number.

 

You would probably not be chaffed if Brad Pitt walked up and gave you his number. That said it's a bit cheesy if that's the only interaction you had.

[LookAtThisPOst]

When someone makes an attempt to turn the exchanging of phone #'s into some kind of lame strategy to see who is "pulling the weight" or "demonstrating interest" that's a scenario I don't want to be a part of.

 

This is something I can find out after I (a man) gets her (a woman)'s phone number and I call HER.

 

Call me a traditionalist.

[Haydn]

Don`t think it matters either way. Girls have given me their number and vice versa.

 

I gave my better half my number when i first met her in a crowded bar. She called me 5 minutes later after we had parted pretending to be the Inland revenue office. For one full minute i was taken in. Been a riotous time ever since.

[GR4]

I can't see it makes any difference personally.

 

I can understand the thinking behind it. If you could step in a mans shoes you'd realise how many girls either give out fake numbers or never reply. Giving a girl your number shows interest and puts the ball in her court without putting any pressure on her.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I can't see it makes any difference personally.

 

I can understand the thinking behind it. If you could step in a mans shoes you'd realise how many girls either give out fake numbers or never reply. Giving a girl your number shows interest and puts the ball in her court without putting any pressure on her.

 

I don't understand this concern about "putting pressure on her". What is she, made out of glass or something? LOL

 

Why is this even an issue. That's her problem, not mine, but that's an entirely different conversation altogether.

[PegNosePete]

You're totally over-thinking it.

 

If you want to get to know him, accept his number and call / text him.

 

If not, don't.

 

Simples.

[Erdbeere]

I get approached by men from time to time. And more and more guys are asking me to take down their number rather than asking me for mine. Has anyone else experienced this? Can someone explain why men do this?

 

Something about it bothers me. YOU came up to ME. I don’t even know if I like you yet and you expect me to take your number down and contact you? It just seems lazy.

 

This happened to me again today. A guy approached me while I was walking through the neighborhood. We talked for a few minutes until I had to hop on my shuttle. He said he’d like to take me out to eat and told me to take down his number. I said, “You want me to take down your number? Don’t you have a phone?” He said yes and then didn’t move an inch to reach into his backpack and grab it. Instead,he wanted me to take down his number and then text him later. I put his number in my phone but I have no intention of using it.

 

This has happened to me quite a few times. The one time I actually decided to go ahead and text a guy who asked me take down his number, he never followed through by asking me out. We texted back and forth a few times and it went nowhere. Ever since then, I’ve felt like the guys that do this just want to feel like a girl is reaching out to him. Maybe it boosts his ego. My other theory is that it’s easier for them to offer their number than to ask for mine.

 

What do you guys think? Am I making too much of this?

 

I've posted a few times on other threads about this topic. I get approached by men a lot, who go on to give me their numbers written on a piece of paper. My thoughts on your post:

 

* You are overthinking this, and have, sadly, reached a negative conclusion needlessly - my take on it is they do it in this fashion out of respect that you may not want to stay in contact (they don't force the exchange of numbers)

* Your response to his question was needlessly hostile and off-putting, when you should have just taken the number or not, or playfully responded

* If I am interested, I tend to send them a quick message through a chat app immediately, just so they have my number, and I don't need to worry about losing the paper

* Once they have my number, things proceed like usual - we get to know each other gradually and will arrange to meet again (the man who didn't then ask you out simply realised he didn't feel any draw to you upon getting to know you a little)

Edited February 9, 2016 by Erdbeere