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Middle aged flirting


spicerp

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Yesterday I attended a meditation day course, and met an attractive blonde considerably younger then me. I had a couple of conversations with her, during which another person as present. The lady did not give me that much eye contact, and paid as much attention or more to the other person as me. However, during the last meditation session she sat next to me and gave me her phone number when I asked for it.

 

 

Promising or not, do you think?

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I am a male aged a little over 60, with little experience of dating or relationships. I have read flirting books which have highlighted the importance of reading the eye contact and body language of the person you are trying to flirt with. Often I have met and chatted to women that I quite fancied, but did not ask for their phone number, because I felt they were not giving me the sort of eye contact and body language which showed interest.

 

 

Maybe this has been a mistake. At my age maybe women are not immediately going to find me sexy, like teenagers at a disco, and maybe it takes a bit longer for a women to show interest. Maybe I should just 'have a go' and not worry so much about these things.

 

 

Any advice/comments please?

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If you don't ask you are not going to know.

 

You need to start asking for those numbers...

 

You will be turned down quite a bit but don't worry about it just keep plodding on!

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Subtly is the hallmark of more mature flirting. The women who like you are not going to punch you in the arm like on the playground.

 

 

Going forward if you enjoy talking to a particular woman, simply ask for her #. Don't be pushy about it but do ask. If she say no, respect that. I suspect you will get more yeses then you think because you are probably missing some of the more subtle signs.

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As both of us are somewhat older and from a past generation, I may prompt a suggestion. I think that over the years I've experienced a number of times when women were actually flirting with me that I failed to recognize.

 

These newer touch and go moments are not 1950s moments. That's only when you were born, but you grew up with the stories from that period.

 

Women are more social. Even older women our own age may adapt to the current social atmosphere. Meanwhile we men are stuck back in a different day and age.

 

Today people seem to start a relationship at the drop of a hat. But then they text each other and spend days worrying over what the other person meant or how fast they responded. It's like they can't even manage to pickup a phone and just talk. Some of the change is hard to wrap your mind around.

 

I simply can't find a way around the situation other than what "Toodaloo" suggests. What works today may simply be outside your comfort zone. In order to adapt to what works today, you may have to step outside your comfort zone. If you're not sure of a woman's reaction, just start asking for numbers or to get together for coffee to continue the conversation. Do that a bunch and re-form an opinion of what works and how to approach things. If we came of age a number of decades ago, we're probably going to have to re-invent ourselves and step outside ourselves a bit to make things work today. That's a trite and simplistic thing to say. But the only way I can think of to find out what it actually means is the kind of trial and error "Toodaloo" suggests.

 

I'm glad that I'm only thinking about dating. Good luck, because it seems pretty daunting in a time and age where people can't even pick up a phone and talk. Instead they come here and post endlessly about what each other's text messages mean.

 

 

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I am a male aged a little over 60, with little experience of dating or relationships. I have read flirting books which have highlighted the importance of reading the eye contact and body language of the person you are trying to flirt with. Often I have met and chatted to women that I quite fancied, but did not ask for their phone number, because I felt they were not giving me the sort of eye contact and body language which showed interest.

 

Read those books for entertainment but pay no attention to what they say. They are too often written by people with no training in human behavior, and even when not, general rules of human behavior do not apply to individual cases!

 

Yes, some women might play with their hair when they're interested, but others might do it because they're bored. Or maybe it's a nervous habit they've had since they were six. People don't follow formulaic patterns. What if the poor girl never read that women play with their hair to signal interest? How would she know she was supposed to do it?

 

If you can interact with people in a social setting, that's really all you need. If you're chatting with a woman, and she's dating-appropriate (i.e. not married, fifty or older, etc.), then ask to see her again. I mean, you're already chatting with her, and if she says no, it's no big deal.

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